i feel left behind!

orlyice

hey, where to start!

My bf recently moved back to his parents house. We had been living together (officially) for couple of months and practically living together for nearly a year. i just finished college in may and stayed in the same city because of him. im now working in a job thats ok but it has nothing to do with the course i did and i really dont want to stay there for very long!! the only reason i applied there was to start earning some money!

the thing is that since he moved home it seems that im the only person who makes an effort! i call him every night and he doesnt seem to want to make an effort to come to see me. he was really down about moving back (he moved to try to get a job) and about us not being able to see eachother all the time. on my first night back in our place (the night after he left) i was devestated that he was gone and told him when i was texting earlier that i'd need him that night, he text back to say a family member had been in an accident. then i heard nothing until the following afternoon. i tried to call him to see how they were and coz i was really down about coming back alone but went straight to voicemail. i got a text the following afternoon to say the family member was ok, just had checkup at the hosp. i didnt slept all night coz i was worrying and really down, but he just fell asleep!!

he's still not working now and i gave him €200 coz he had no money, only to find out that he is out tonight! i'm on v bad money and that is a lot of money for me to give him, but he gone out with his brother 2nite. i know he wants to spend time with his family but i dont think he realises what its like for me here. i'm still in our place, most of my mates are gone home after they finished college and he's at home with his family having a great time! he was always so considerate when we wer living together but now its like he hasnt got the time for me. i desperately wanted to move home when i finished college but i stayed because of him and when he said he was considering going home i told him to go, thinking it would be good for him.

Now i feel like he doesnt have the time for me, i'm stuck here for the next couple of months until i find a job and he has the support of his family, i have nobody here for me.

i really do love him lots but the way things are going, i dont think our relationship will last. i've tried talking to him about it but he doesnt take in how im feeling. any advice??

Miss Fluff

You don't say why he moved home in the first place OP. Was it money or some other reason? Could it be a case that he's trying to let it fizzle out gently and moving out is a catalyst for that?

orlyice

He had run out of options for jobs where we lived and we were talkin bout moving to cork and looking there. but then i got my job and i needed to save some money before could move. He went home coz loads jobs going in his field where he lives. our plan was (and still is) for us both to work for a couple of months, save, and then one or both of us would move.

Should of mentioned, deferred my finals coz of an illness and am sitting them in couple weeks and this is stress i dont need!!

darkestlord

When someone is causing unnecessary problems get rid of them , simple.
If he comes with his tail between his legs apologising , great if not do your exams get a better job and live your life.
Your only young enjoy your life .

Ekancone

orlyice wrote:

hey, where to start!

My bf recently moved back to his parents house. We had been living together (officially) for couple of months and practically living together for nearly a year. i just finished college in may and stayed in the same city because of him. im now working in a job thats ok but it has nothing to do with the course i did and i really dont want to stay there for very long!! the only reason i applied there was to start earning some money!

the thing is that since he moved home it seems that im the only person who makes an effort! i call him every night and he doesnt seem to want to make an effort to come to see me. he was really down about moving back (he moved to try to get a job) and about us not being able to see eachother all the time. on my first night back in our place (the night after he left) i was devestated that he was gone and told him when i was texting earlier that i'd need him that night, he text back to say a family member had been in an accident. then i heard nothing until the following afternoon. i tried to call him to see how they were and coz i was really down about coming back alone but went straight to voicemail. i got a text the following afternoon to say the family member was ok, just had checkup at the hosp. i didnt slept all night coz i was worrying and really down, but he just fell asleep!!

he's still not working now and i gave him €200 coz he had no money, only to find out that he is out tonight! i'm on v bad money and that is a lot of money for me to give him, but he gone out with his brother 2nite. i know he wants to spend time with his family but i dont think he realises what its like for me here. i'm still in our place, most of my mates are gone home after they finished college and he's at home with his family having a great time! he was always so considerate when we wer living together but now its like he hasnt got the time for me. i desperately wanted to move home when i finished college but i stayed because of him and when he said he was considering going home i told him to go, thinking it would be good for him.

Now i feel like he doesnt have the time for me, i'm stuck here for the next couple of months until i find a job and he has the support of his family, i have nobody here for me.

i really do love him lots but the way things are going, i dont think our relationship will last. i've tried talking to him about it but he doesnt take in how im feeling. any advice??

You sound like a great girlfriend but im going to be honest with ya i reckon that he may have lost interest. I may be wrong of course, but it seems to me like he is trying to take the easy way out rather than confronting you about the way he feels right now. Maybe you should try talk to him about this.

dellas1979

Can I just say, easier said than done, I know, but you need to put this behind you for 3-4 weeks and get on studying for your final/repeat exams.

As well, maybe this time is what you need for you and him to put a bit of perspective on things.

Just get studying and get your exams done, that should be your main priority at the moment.

If you feel he doesnt care about you, then at least care for and mind yourself.

orlyice

Thanks for the replies guys, appreciate it still not sure what going to do!

Piste

I think you should concentrate on your exams and try and get them out of the way first before settling this boyfriend stuff, cos if you pass your exams at least you know then if you can or cant move away. Is there any way your boyfriend could come up to you on a break, even just for the weekend so you can talk and see where you stand? You'll know by the feel of things how stuff's going.

Good luck!