Distance!

LegacyUser

Just recently met a guy and we really like each other! Only problem is that he lives in England and I live in the West of Ireland! Just wondering if people have any experience of this type of distance and relationships working out? I know it’s an individual thing but anyways?!

muppetkiller

Interesting as I'm in a similar situation...Met a lovely girl in London and am rather keen too.
She has a kid so can't be expecting her to move anytime soon..so it'll be me heading over to her.
But London is only about 2 hours away from Galway airport so it's easier to get than Dublin
I'm sure it'd be easy to deal with to be honest. it's not like it's the US or Australia.

Ruu_Old

I have experience in this, her in the US and me in Ireland (we are happily married now over 3 years). It takes extra work in any kind of long distance relationship. You both have to be fully committed to make it work, no room for a one sided thing here. Flights are dirt cheap to England these days so you could make it work. Good luck whatever happens and feel free to send me a PM if you want to talk about it further.

jellie

Its hard. Very hard. Both need to be fully committed & you need to trust each other 100%.

Having just broken up from a long distance relationship i can honestly say i would never ever do it again, no matter how fantastic the man was. I didnt realise at the time but it put a lot of extra pressure & strain on my entire life. of course at the time i felt it was worth it.

Things to bare (bear? i never know..) in mind:
- rarely seeing each other
- costs of seeing each other
- the pain of feeling so close to someone but not being able to have a simple thing like a hug
- not being able to see the person you love when you want/need them

Obviously there are times when LDRs work out, Ruu being an example of this. & maybe it will for you. But i would just advise you to think it through before you jump into it.

SarahSassy

A friend recently married an English guy she met abroad 5 years ago. He has been living here very ahppily for a few years now.

It is possible.

hunnymonster

Westgirl wrote:

Just recently met a guy and we really like each other! Only problem is that he lives in England and I live in the West of Ireland! Just wondering if people have any experience of this type of distance and relationships working out? I know it’s an individual thing but anyways?!

Yes, I'm another example of the LDR working out although we were just opposite ends of the same country. In the eaely stages it can be a lot of fun. At some stage you do need to sit down and check you both want the same things and are compatable more than just every second weekend (or whatever).

Ultimately though most people will want to get closer and that means someone has got to move. Probably too early for you to be thinking about that but if I was to do it again, the only thing I would change is to start diversifying my CV earlier. When I moved to be with him, I had to almost completely change career and that wasn't easy in my 30's.

Blondie86Star

Sister-in-laws friend met a guy from belgium when she was on holiday 6 years ago. They did long distance for 3 now she lives in belgium with a baby on the way!

Firetrap

Eventually with these things, something has to give. Either you break up or one of you moves nearer to the other. Can you see yourself moving to England or him over here? I've no personal experience of long distance relationships but have two friends who have. One ended up marrying an Englishman and moving over to England. The other, sadly, realised that neither she nor the boyfriend were going to be able to move any closer to each other and broke up with him.

axer

Westgirl wrote:

Just recently met a guy and we really like each other! Only problem is that he lives in England and I live in the West of Ireland! Just wondering if people have any experience of this type of distance and relationships working out? I know it’s an individual thing but anyways?!

Have been doing it for 3 years now. Me midlands, she Germany. Just moved to Germany last month. I think a long distance relationship helps you appreciate each other more and actually brings you closer in the long run than a "regular" relationship. But I definitely don't think it is for everyone.

When I started going out with my girlfriend I never thought I would every be living in Germany but things change. Some people have problems moving from cork to dublin to be with their other halves so it is not much different.

Baggly

Me Kildare, she Poland...relatively new relationship (10 months), but we are both learning the ropes and i think our relationship is getting stronger and stronger.

LegacyUser

'i know a girl who met an english lad -- lots of flights for a couple of ears and the he moved over here---they seem very happy'