Do girls want what they cant have?

Tomn

I was on a work night out last week, it was the usual some food then to a bar for drinks, these were on the company so they were flowing very freely.

Later on in the night and after a good few drinks I was going to the toilet when I got talking to one of the girls in the office, we walked and talked towards the toilet and stopped outside the toilet as we were still talking. This girl then kissed me, it lasted a few seconds until I stopped it which I should have done straight away.

The problem with her kissing me is that she knows I have a girlfried and have been going out with her for 4 years. So I am just wondering do girls want what they cant have or why did she kiss me?

PeakOutput

ye they do but so do guys its just life

muppetkiller

Didn't your mum tell you this for years !!!
it's a known fact.. Eg last night chatting to a female buddy of mine she complained that this guy she started seeing was texting her everyday ...and she said if it continued she'd have to get rid of him as he was too keen.

2 days later he hadn't texted and she was worried what she did to upset him...and wanted to know why he wasn't texting her ....
That my friend is how the female mind works ..don't try to understand it lol

Talliesin

Everyone wants what they can't have. I kinda want the apple on my colleagues desk right now, and I'm just after one. It looks tasty though.

For most people this is a very small impulse and easily controlled. Some people just don't do good impulse control though.

Firetrap

muppetkiller wrote:

Didn't your mum tell you this for years !!!
it's a known fact.. Eg last night chatting to a female buddy of mine she complained that this guy she started seeing was texting her everyday ...and she said if it continued she'd have to get rid of him as he was too keen.

2 days later he hadn't texted and she was worried what she did to upset him...and wanted to know why he wasn't texting her ....
That my friend is how the female mind works ..don't try to understand it lol

OMG! That sounds so like a friend of mine who can never make up her mind about this when she's seeing a guy. Myself and some of our mutual female friends can never wrap our heads around it either. At this stage, we've given up and decided even she doesn't know what's going on in her own head!

OP Just be glad you stopped that kiss fairly soon or you'd be in right trouble. Who knows why she kissed you? Maybe she did it for a dare. Maybe she fancies you. Maybe you're Mr Irresistible because you have a girlfriend.

kryogen

not just girls mate, human nature everybody wants a bite of the forbidden fruit, grass is always greener etc...

Lola123

Maybe she just fancied you!
Maybe she didn't know you'd a girlf.
Maybe she knew, but u've been giving her the impression that u fancy her.

The list is endless really. You stopped it so whats the problem?

I-like-eggs,mmm

Yes... sadly, some girls get a kick out of going for a guy that has a girlfriend. If they score him, it's like a sense of achievement for them or a "buzz"... naughty girls. Some would even be as bad as wanting to break up a couple they assumed were the perfect couple- it's jealousy imo.

The Bollox

yes, yes they do. I learned this over the past few weeks. if they think you are interested in them they will lose interest.

it's like fishing. if the fish thinks you are too eager it will fúck off. you have to be patient and when it's least suspecting snatch it out of the water and beat it to death with the oar!*



*not to be used exactly when picking up women!

LegacyUser

'

muppetkiller wrote:

Didn't your mum tell you this for years !!!
it's a known fact.. Eg last night chatting to a female buddy of mine she complained that this guy she started seeing was texting her everyday ...and she said if it continued she'd have to get rid of him as he was too keen.

2 days later he hadn't texted and she was worried what she did to upset him...and wanted to know why he wasn't texting her ...
That my friend is how the female mind works ..don't try to understand it lol

OmGz0rs you can read into the future '

Tomn

Lola123 wrote:

Maybe she just fancied you!
Maybe she didn't know you'd a girlf.
Maybe she knew, but u've been giving her the impression that u fancy her.

The list is endless really. You stopped it so whats the problem?

There's no problem it just got me thinking, and she did know I have a gf. We've been working together for a year and a half and get on well.

Caliden

Most Women are crazy. It's a fact of life.

Wibbs

"Women are a lot like jobs. A lot easier to get another one if you already have one" Jokey and a generalisation? Yep, but there is an element to that with some women and I stress some. It's more prevalent than among the male from what I've seen. I've seen it personally with women friends and aquaintances of mine. I remember one woman I started seeing and her "bestest friend", who previously wouldn't have touched me with a remote control barge pole suddenly had the constant urge to sit on my lap, even when I was standing up. The second we split up she was back to glaring non interest again. For a laugh(?), one of my mates told this woman that the ex and me might be getting back together and bam! two hours later she shows up all sultry like. There's a fair sized back catalogue of that stuff I've experienced and moreso what I've seen with others.

Maybe it's some instinct that makes some look at guys who are attached as "good bets" as another woman wants them so they must have something going for them. If you're in a strong long termer you do get more attention from women who know this. There's the challenge aspect too. If it's known that you're not the cheating kind you tend to get more who want to prove that wrong. There's also the competition between women, which I've found more intense and subtle than between men. I've seen more situations where the man gets attention from someone the girlfriend knows than from a random stranger. Some of the time of course, it's for simple non committal sex, as if you're not single or married and not likely to leave the "loved" one, then they can have the fun without all the other guff. In fact I've seen where the other woman drops the guy very very soon after he leaves the girlfriend/wife. Men can be like this too, but as I've said this particular thing does seem more prevalent among women. Put it another way, I've known quite a fair few women who have gotten involved with married/engaged/longtermer men, than men who have gotten involved with married women. Far far more.

cowzerp

its like absence makes the heart grow stronger-if its not there you want it!

JacobM

There is a reason for this. It happened to me before. Hmm.

I don't think girls think of sex like guys do. They don't realize they want it until they see someone else getting it. And weather you realize it or not you are more tamed, combed, etc. -- and tested as well. I think they worry that a guy might freak out (like they do) if they try anything. I don't think it is a jealousy thing or can have/can't have thing. And if you reject them it's because your taken, not because they are [fill in the blank].

There is a loosening of social tention that may allow for likabilty or whatever -- like you ignoring them or treating them differently. It is an unlikely event however. If you treated them differently, it follows: they would act different. So it really is hardly an excuse.

It can be anyone of these things. I would avoid it though. It will ruin both relationships. I may take a while for the poet to expire but in the end there is always a loss. And it is wrong. Some girls are just nasty and want to hurt other people.

You'd be best to ask one of them but it is really difficult to find one who can analyze her own thoughts. Serious.

metrovelvet

Wibbs wrote:

"Women are a lot like jobs. A lot easier to get another one if you already have one"

I had a friend who had a philosophy he lived by "Girlfriends and jobs, three months- that's it"

OP - why did she kiss you? Why did the man climb the mountain - because it was there! Nothing more complex than that.

goz83

you would have more answers (and maybe crabs too) if you had of gone beyond the toilet door. I think maybe you stopped the kiss because you may have gotten caught otherwise. Either that or the girl is ugly.

Tomn

goz83 wrote:

you would have more answers (and maybe crabs too) if you had of gone beyond the toilet door. I think maybe you stopped the kiss because you may have gotten caught otherwise. Either that or the girl is ugly.

No the girl is not ugly, very good looking actually. I suppose if i'm being 100% honest part of me stopped it because I was afraid of getting caught but the rest of me knew it was wrong. Wrong because I'm in a relationship and it wouldn't be fair on my girlfriend to cheat.

TerrorFirmer

The Bollox wrote:

yes, yes they do. I learned this over the past few weeks. if they think you are interested in them they will lose interest.

it's like fishing. if the fish thinks you are too eager it will fúck off. you have to be patient and when it's least suspecting snatch it out of the water and beat it to death with the oar!*



*not to be used exactly when picking up women!

Haha!

Femelade

Oh my god, trying to tell my boyfriend this since christmas!! started going out with him in aug last yr, his ex (who he hadnt heard from via txt or phone call) in 3 yrs- but would still see her out every so often and say hi)started to txt him and ring him in nov..and its still going on!! everynight that she gets drunk she rings or txts at all hours, told his friends she wants him back etc...

She night very well fancy you and the fact that you have a girlfriend might make you more atractive to her..

SarahSassy

Not all girls want what they cant have.... I personally steer well away from men in relationships and tend to lose respect and interest in them if I find out they are trying it on with 'her indoors' sitting at home.

Maybe she thought you were single.

nacho libre

Tomn wrote:

I was on a work night out last week, it was the usual some food then to a bar for drinks, these were on the company so they were flowing very freely.

Later on in the night and after a good few drinks I was going to the toilet when I got talking to one of the girls in the office, we walked and talked towards the toilet and stopped outside the toilet as we were still talking. This girl then kissed me, it lasted a few seconds until I stopped it which I should have done straight away.

The problem with her kissing me is that she knows I have a girlfried and have been going out with her for 4 years. So I am just wondering do girls want what they cant have or why did she kiss me?

I think you might be right. Some women if they see you coming into a bar with an attractive woman they are more likely to notice you. yet you could walk into the very same pub on your own a week later and you won't get as much attention.
however, it's possible she thinks you are a great catch but since she knew you were taken it's reprehensible behaviour for her to make a move on you in my view.

star-pants

It's a well known fact women are crazy... we are wired differently ... our brains work in ways that *we* struggle to understand.
Now I personally wouldn't touch a taken guy with a barge pole, but that's my personal morals, I think it's wrong. some people view it that if you're the one that's single, you can do what you like, it's the person in the relationship that's the wrong doer. I believe both are wrong but obv the one in the relationship is much worse.

Maybe she'd had a bit to drink, and quite liked you but wouldn't have done soemthing before n just thought... 'I'll kiss him' and did...A lot of ppl think things are good ideas when drunk. have ye spoken at all? she might be regretting it. It's good you stopped her, as you do have a gf that I assume you like/love very much.
Then there are women who like the challenge of taken guys, and those who think they can have whomever they want.

As I think someone said up there -- most women can't even navigate their own brain patterns! Women are a bit mental (I am one so trust me! lol). If neither of ye have spoken about it, maybe its best to forget about it and not mention it, but do be a little wary of her in future perhaps..?

missmatty

Fair play to you for stopping her, man you've got stones!

And a lucky girlfriend

Ps: Most women i know wouldn't behave like that with taken men. I wouldn't even go there.

limklad

Tomn wrote:

No the girl is not ugly, very good looking actually. I suppose if i'm being 100% honest part of me stopped it because I was afraid of getting caught but the rest of me knew it was wrong. Wrong because I'm in a relationship and it wouldn't be fair on my girlfriend to cheat.

Yes some women who will look for men who are already attach, because they think (becuase of their own bad choices in the past) you must be worth the catch. Once your are dumped by your orginal girlfriend they she will dump you thinking there must be something wrong with you.
Lucky for the rest of us not all women are like this.

Let get to the Basic Facts
You feel guilty because you like the kiss from an attractive woman. You like that feeling of of other women finding you attractive, hey we all do, but you managed to think of your relationship with your girlfriend even with drink! and That impressive on your part, Knowing that drink bring out our primitive state of mind.
The more you obsessive about it the more it will take over your thinking and your girlfriend will find out because you are feeling guilty.

The Basic Facts if your girlfriend mentioned is:
You were on a company night out. There was plenty of drinks by all, You were going to the toilet and was talking to you co-worker, you both talked and stopped outside the toilets to finish the conversation and she kissed you out of the blue, She surprise you and you came to your senses and pull away and end it there and then. You said “no” for further advances by your behavior and it was obvious. There is no further contact on a sexual nature, only work relationship.

You are not the guilty one here as you were not chasing your co-worker, nor any other girls. If your girlfriend cannot see it then she is not worth having. As you will probably have other fights with her over silly things, if she pick a fight with you on this, then she has poor trusts and your relationship will be one of mistrust.

Now put the event behind you, it not worth fretting over, as I say again you are not guilty