the ultimate BITCH

LegacyUser

have been texing a girl for the last 6 weeks, met twice before, everything going grand. long story stort, last sat nite, on dance floor of a club, everything going very well, dancing very close, and out of the blue she gets with another guy. i knew she liked me, even her friend told me she loved me, but she was very shy.

i never felt so bad in all my life, stormed out of the club. why would she do that, i was in shock. i got a tex from her at 4am saying she was sorry and she was very drunk. i texed her sun night saying i liked her and i thought she liked me, but now im very confused. got no reply.

wtf?

Talliesin

wastoftime wrote:

have been texing a girl for the last 6 weeks, met twice before

Right, so you have no real relationship with this girl of any sort. You'd perhaps the potential for one, but you don't have one now.

If she enters into a relationship with you, and then does the same thing, maybe complain about it then.

In the meantime just be glad that you've had such an easy-going life that you could actually use the phrase "ultimate bitch" over someone not in a relationship acting like someone not in a relationship.

PeakOutput

Talliesin wrote:

Right, so you have no real relationship with this girl of any sort. You'd perhaps the potential for one, but you don't have one now.

If she enters into a relationship with you, and then does the same thing, maybe complain about it then.

In the meantime just be glad that you've had such an easy-going life that you could actually use the phrase "ultimate bitch" over someone not in a relationship acting like someone not in a relationship.

ah come on thats a bit harsh..............im all for doing whatever you want when your single but there is a line call it what you want common courtesy maybe. you dont give all good signals to someone you have previously met up with / been texting / presumably scored in the near past and then just at the drop of a hat turn around on the dance floor and score someone else.

granted its not the end of the world either but it is not a very nice thing to do. you have to take other peoples feelings into account to some extent regardless of what your relationship is with them

Steyr

wastoftime wrote:

. i got a tex from her at 4am saying she was sorry and she was very drunk.

Drink is no excuse man your better off without her.

Miss Fluff

Don't text her again and see what happens.

PeakOutput

defo ignore her for a while at least if not leave her all together................gotta have some self respect and not go crawling back

TheDriver

Play it handy. Wouldn't say shes an absolute BITCH but you need to suss out and let her make few moves now. Plenty more fish out there in the big sea all the same

Marksie

well, how would you handle it differently?

Accepting that you were undoubtedly very upset do you think storming out of the club was an overreaction? But i suppose that that was better than having a standup row.
Still maybe think about how you could have sorted it out then and there, if she was that drunk then maybe you could have interviened quietly, but we weren't there i guess so dont know the dynamic.

She did text you and say she was sorry and very drunk, she may be embarrassed or feeling guilty.
Are you going call her reather than text and clarify everything one way or the oethre or juts get yourself in a right pickle waiting for texts?

Gyalist

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but texting != relationship.

The girl may well be shy but she has good game. She tested you and you failed miserably. If you liked her and you also heard from her friend that she likes you, why haven't you made your move yet? If you snooze, you lose!

Women intuitively test men for leadership & dominance, they seem pre-programmed to do it. You did not show it so she went off with someone else who did.

Ekancone

Not worth it imo, your werent going out with each other, but she should have had more respect for your feelings than that. If thats the way she is as a person than you are better off without.

Wibbs

Talliesin wrote:

Right, so you have no real relationship with this girl of any sort. You'd perhaps the potential for one, but you don't have one now.

Eh so you've not heard of simple good manners then? They had some kind of "relationship" by the OP's account. They were talking, they were meeting, they were even out that night apparently together. On the night in question everything appeared to be going along to plan. The oul cheek to cheek slow dancing lark etc. Then she out of blue goes off with another? Ultimate bitch no, silly inconsiderate person, yes. At what point do you consider "any sort" of relationship to begin? An exchange of contracts FFS? While going overboard/jumping the gun/counting chickens etc is equally daft you can go to far the other way too.

In the meantime just be glad that you've had such an easy-going life that you could actually use the phrase "ultimate bitch" over someone not in a relationship acting like someone not in a relationship.

I agree with PeakOutput on this. His reaction was OTT, but the cause was plain to see. Anybody would be a tad nonplussed in the same situation. Common courtesy, respect for others and not acting like an airhead is generally to be hoped for. This idea of anything goes can be taken too far. There is a line and it boils down to simple manners.

OP You are well rid of that kind of person. From what I've seen people of either gender who will pull that crap are more likely to pull the same crap down the line when they get bored or drunk. Not always, not by a long shot, but it is something I've observed. Drink is not an excuse either, but is used far too often as one. Taking a hissy fit and storming out was a bit much though. Relax the kacks and chalk this one up to experience.

azezil

While really drunk I've done that before, for me it was, although I liked the guy I just didn't like him that much to really give a shít, of course felt guilty afterwards, but meh, at the time I either wasn't looking for a relationship or he wasn't really my type, I forget which but in short, I wasn't interested in him.

Slow Motion

Gyalist wrote:

Women intuitively test men for leadership & dominance, they seem pre-programmed to do it. You did not show it so she went off with someone else who did.

Lol ! *Sit's back and waits of the onslought (sp?)*

OP I think you are getting a bit worked up, OK it was bad form but there was no commitment there. A) Let it go and move on ! Call her (*phones actually allow you to speak to people in real time) and clarify the situation and make your feelings about her clear and take it from there !


*The sarcasm is not directed at you OP, but I find it funny that people seem to fear actually talking to others unless they know them really well.

JCDUB

Fook her man, she's not worth the hassle.
In fairness you weren't in a relationship but still, that was not the way a nice girl would go about telling you she likes you.

Forget about her and go out and meet some new chicks.

Wibbs

Gyalist wrote:

Women intuitively test men for leadership & dominance, they seem pre-programmed to do it. You did not show it so she went off with someone else who did.

LOL is right. While you can't paint a very complex interaction with such a broad brush and expect it to cover all, it is pretty accurate. From an evolutionary/biology standpoint it makes perfect sense. Then again and never mind individuals, but women are far more complex than that as apparently they even have different needs at different times in their menstrual cycle(more fertile, more macho testosterone type, rest of the time more nurturing type). It's hard to keep up:) I have found that one thing women do like in a man who is strong and consistent emotionally, who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to try to get it. They want to feel safe around them, far more than a man would around a woman. Safe covers a lot of ground, financial, social, emotional. etc.

In the end you're dealing with individuals, not abstract notions, but there is some truth in it and working that way will help the odds in your favour. Friend of mine, well hit with the ugly stick. Women will even tell him that while trying to jump his bones! Mad. he has also sod all money etc. Very very confident, emotionally secure and consistent, yet open and forward without being pushy(difficult to achieve) and the amount of women of all ages and types who seek him out is truly unreal. Mindboggling in fact. I honestly can't imagine the OP's situation happening to him. Not in a million years. Maybe because she would know exactly where she stood long before this stuff came up. Also she would have known that this behaviour woyuld be a deal breaker for him.

digitally-yours

Two Words


Stay away !!!!

Elphaba

TheDriver wrote:

Wouldn't say shes an absolute BITCH

I agree. There's an awful lot more worse things people do on each other. I'm not sayin what she did was right but I'd say it was more about bein confused about what she wanted and with drink added it made it a little more blurry

Evil Phil

A faint heart won't win a fair lady - should've told her how you felt sooner and to her face, not by text after she's kissed some guy. There's plenty of more girls out there, next time strike while the iron is hot and don't wait for some other guy to make his move first.

lucernarian

If you were that interested, why did you leave it for six weeks? Or did you just want to be friends??

Give it a bit of time, but don't chase her if you don't hear from her. Let bygones be bygones etc.

py2006

Too bad OP!

That was a pretty harsh thing for her to do alright! Drink is a lame excuse!

If she really was interested in you then she would not have done it! She aint the "Ultimate", there is far worse than her out there!

j0e

let it be a lesson be the lad who goes for it not the one at the sidelines

LegacyUser

starting to think i over reacted now. she hasnt texted me since. im too afraid to ring her, as i am sooooooooo shy when it comes to things like this. she was the first girl i ever had the currage to chat up (and i needed a lot of drink to do it!). im gona tex her tonight, and tell her how i feel, as i really do like her. but im pretty sure its a wast of time. thanks for your comments!

LegacyUser

still no tex from her, i am way too shy ring her. im going to tex her tonight again. if she doesnt tex back, il leave it at that. i really regret storming off now, as i really do like her. she was also the first girl i had the balls to chat up as well, as i have pretty low confidence when it comes to women

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

nothing from her yet. im gona tex her tonight and tell her how i feel, i really do like her. im way too shy to ring her!! she was the first girl i had the balls to chat up. i really regret storming off out of the club, but i was so pissed off at the time. if she doesnt tex back, i leave it at that

thanks for all yer help

blah

Don't call her or text her. Just ignore her, blank her and forget about her. Move on.

carnival_joe

honey if thats the worst problem you have, then you're very lucky and can we swap lives?

You over reacted, and probably scared the girl. Have you apologised to her?

If this is over, and you're not gonna be together, then learn from it and move on.

If you both *really* liked eachother, and not in the flirty first few weeks of fun type of way, but in the whole "i wanna hang out with you, sober, during the day, and talk, and laugh and just BE" type of way, then this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe she likes you, maybe not. Who can honestly say? If she was that into you, she wouldn't have kissed someone else, if you were that into her the opportunity would never haver presented itself.

Plenty more fish in the sea, and I know its harsh, but maybe if you tried to be a bit more Hitch, and a little less Hitchcock it could greatly help you.

Best of luck

Scally07

Don't bother ringin her or textin her, she knows how you feel - if she wants anythin to happen she'll contact you.

Bad move storming off like that, when they go do somethin like that you do it too. tit for tat, its all a game. Its a head f*ck buts thats women.

To put it bluntly - be a man, if she wants some, all good. If not : f*ck her.

Its an experience, learn from it.

Now go find a sl*t and get laid.

goz83

if you text her and forgive her she'll walk all over you. If you text her and say you're hurt/annoyed/confused/angry etc you'll come across as a whiney pig and she'll laugh at you. If you call and put her on the spot, you'll get nothin but excuses (for which I see no valid one).

However, If you lay low and score someone else and make sure she knows about it I guarantee you'll hear from her. You just tell her you assumed she wasn't that interested. Personally i'd just do the bitch and then do her friend but that's just me and how i would get her back for not having any respect for my feelings.

tallaghtoutlaws

wastoftime wrote:

nothing from her yet. im gona tex her tonight and tell her how i feel, i really do like her. im way too shy to ring her!! she was the first girl i had the balls to chat up. i really regret storming off out of the club, but i was so pissed off at the time. if she doesnt tex back, i leave it at that

thanks for all yer help

Dude Im going to say Grow Some Balls and ring her.

Am I the only who sees that you obviously still like her. Dont pass over that chance of closure. Don't not call her and then later on regret your decision.

Lets look at the facts she liked you but you never made a move and you were not an item so she did what every single person does she moved on but this does not neccessarily mean she still has no feelings for you.

But OP the only way you will ever find out is ringing her. If by then she doesn't want to talkto you or just plain wont answer then say bye bye and move on.

Final note. Nothing speaks the truth better than true emotions and you say you are shy to ring trust me you will find a way to say what you have to say on the phone when you here her answer.

RoyalMarine

text her on the link to this thread and im sure she will reply to you

WindSock

Maybe she was bored of being in a text message relationship for 6 weeks, waiting for you to make a move. By the sounds of it, she hasn't replied to any of your texts. She may not be interested anymore. Try to stop mulling over it and move on. (I know its easier said than done)

windowlicker

move on, being drunk is never an excuse

DD

wastoftime wrote:

everything going very well, dancing very close, and out of the blue she gets with another guy. i knew she liked me, even her friend told me she loved me, but she was very shy.
wtf?

Are u sure about this? shy??...doesnt seem that way.

R0C0

Okay. So, it seems to me... She got bored waiting for you to make your move, 6 weeks is a long time just txting, you dont really tell us the nature of your txting so its hard to know exactly what she thought was going on!

Women are fickle friend, move to quick and they won't consider you for a serious relationship, move too slow and they question whether you like them or not! It's all about timing!

Now, for my humble advice.. If you still want to see her.. Text her. Apologise for storming out of the club, tell her you over-reacted, you only got that upset because you really like her, tell her you'd like to see her again if she's interested. Balls in her court then, either she texts you back and agrees to meet you, and you do, great. Or she doesn't, then just chalk it up to experience and move on!

Good luck mate.

AlphaMale 3OO

goz83 wrote:

if you text her and forgive her she'll walk all over you. If you text her and say you're hurt/annoyed/confused/angry etc you'll come across as a whiney pig and she'll laugh at you. If you call and put her on the spot, you'll get nothin but excuses (for which I see no valid one).

However, If you lay low and score someone else and make sure she knows about it I guarantee you'll hear from her. You just tell her you assumed she wasn't that interested. Personally i'd just do the bitch and then do her friend but that's just me and how i would get her back for not having any respect for my feelings.

This man goz has balls full of steaming hot testosterone. His advice is the best. Play the bitch at her own game and start acting like the alpha male you know you are. But play it clever. You did the right thing walking out. I pull the plug on any game playing by women. I just dont stand for it and I dont play games myself. And guess what? I ended up with a non-game player and its great. These types of bitches need to learn the hard way. Reverse the situation, she had a good thing, now its gone. Be a little bit selfish here and look out for yourself. This sounds all very "bravado" but women (and they can deny this to the hilt) like bastards. Not abnoxious, name calling, drunken fighting bastards, just the "do what the hell I want type bastards". Its controversial but its true.

scoobydoo2

wastoftime wrote:

have been texing a girl for the last 6 weeks, met twice before, everything going grand. long story stort, last sat nite, on dance floor of a club, everything going very well, dancing very close, and out of the blue she gets with another guy. i knew she liked me, even her friend told me she loved me, but she was very shy.

i never felt so bad in all my life, stormed out of the club. why would she do that, i was in shock. i got a tex from her at 4am saying she was sorry and she was very drunk. i texed her sun night saying i liked her and i thought she liked me, but now im very confused. got no reply.

wtf?

Don't bother with her she wants you around because she knows you like her and probaly feels she can have you any time, while havin other fellas in the mean time. Don't bother with the silly little immature girl. Plenty of fish in the sea..

boardinwork

I reckon shes a psycho and thats why she did it to see if you went mad. I knew a girl like that before but never gave into it, just went off and tried to score any girls around her! It worked

shakenbake

wasteoftime,

Don't *ever* regrest storming off. What were you supposed to do, stand there like a ****ing chump and smile? Get some self respect man!!

wasteoftime, to be blunt, you just haven't created enough attraction with this girl and at this stage she's probably starting to get a little freaked out by your txts. Neediness is a serious turn off, to most people.

You're txting/speaking from the heart and that's cool but you just won't get traction with this girl like that.

Look, it's happened to everyman on more than one occasion I would say. It'll probably happen to you again too. Delete her number, forget about her and get back out there you numpty

wastoftime

wastoftime wrote:

have been texing a girl for the last 6 weeks, met twice before, everything going grand. long story stort, last sat nite, on dance floor of a club, everything going very well, dancing very close, and out of the blue she gets with another guy. i knew she liked me, even her friend told me she loved me, but she was very shy.

i never felt so bad in all my life, stormed out of the club. why would she do that, i was in shock. i got a tex from her at 4am saying she was sorry and she was very drunk. i texed her sun night saying i liked her and i thought she liked me, but now im very confused. got no reply.

wtf?

I had a similar situation about 4 years ago. Got texting a girl, met up with her in Limerick City and went to Belfast for a few days. Up there she slept with another fella despite knowing I liked her. At the time I felt really used and lost all trust in women (but I'm very sensitive anyway).

If I were you I'd try to forget her and move on. I was brainwashed (out of desperation I'll add) into believing I needed her so after a short while kept things going. But other issues kept popping up and I never fully forgave her for the incident. Even when around her I felt physically sick because my gut feeling didn't want her but my "loins" did.

Just passing on my experience to try to avoid you making a potentially nasty mistake.

Rossibaby

just blank her mate for couple of weeks.how dare she do that to you,ignore her for a while and let her know what shes missing

K-9

R0C0 wrote:

If you still want to see her.. Text her. Apologise for storming out of the club, tell her you over-reacted, you only got that upset because you really like her, tell her you'd like to see her again if she's interested. Balls in her court then, either she texts you back and agrees to meet you, and you do, great. Or she doesn't, then just chalk it up to experience and move on!

But he has nothing to apologise for. He stormed off. Actually the best thing would have been to get off with somebody else that night and see her come running back after the games backfired but its hard to be cool and calm all the time.

karsini wrote:

If I were you I'd try to forget her and move on. I was brainwashed (out of desperation I'll add) into believing I needed her so after a short while kept things going. But other issues kept popping up and I never fully forgave her for the incident. Even when around her I felt physically sick because my gut feeling didn't want her but my "loins" did.

Just passing on my experience to try to avoid you making a potentially nasty mistake.

Don't be a slave to your "loins":D. She'll know it and play games with you (the wrong type!) because of it. No shag is worth a head wrecker. Takes a long time to learn this though so take the advice here and learn quicker!

And be prepared in 6 months time, when you've ignored her and are out with girls for her to suddenly show interest. But beware!

Seanies32

Seanies32 wrote:

And be prepared in 6 months time, when you've ignored her and are out with girls for her to suddenly show interest. But beware!

She's done it several times already! She still tries to use me as a fallback mechanism when she's single or having trouble with a boyfriend. But no, I'm not going there again. My friend wouldn't let me anyway, lol.

tbh

I had a chocolate bar on my desk for six weeks that i was planning to eat. When I went to unwrap it, it was melted! I got in such a rage that I had a temper tantrum there and then,



Dude. Use it or lose it. You don't have to apologise for storming out just like she doesn't have to apologise for snogging someone in a pub. You could have sorted this out at the start of the relationship, but you chose not to say anything to her until the time felt right - possibly because you were afraid of rejection. Well, this is the price you pay.