im scared i stil love my ex

LegacyUser

i was with my ex for 3 years and we broke up when i was 17.

Ill be honest we had a ****ty relationship cos most of the time he was on drugs and the only time he said he loved me was when he was off his head-however i adored him .. but he treated me like dirt- tho ill admit when he wasnt stoned he was so sweet youd never meet a nicer guy (But his dad loved me- his mam never met me but i talked to her on the phone and she was ok with me .I was mates with his sis n his bro n dey luved me)

But even though all that had happened the sex was fab- he was the only guy who knew just what i liked.... and how i liked it! Ive never had better sex...

I have a big family - and only 1 of my sisters liked him(and ive 10 siblings- n im not joking- my parents hated him)

He was ment to go with me to my debs but 3 weeks before it... he backed out(i still donno why) and i went to the debs with a friend of a friend who i ended up having a 6 month relationship with(he was a lovely fella)

I am 22 now and 6 months after my debs i met my fiance who im now with nearly 4 years amd i adore him- hes my world and i love him so much...(His mam doesnt like me- she pretends she does but i know she doesnt- but the rest of his family adore me- his dad/uncles/aunts/grandmothers/cousins- on all sides they love me) and my family adore him too- they think hes the best thing to ever happen to me and they always compare him to my exs !

However ill admit the last year we have had sex about 15 times- thats like kinda less than once a month-we have talked about it but hes said hes not a very sexual guy(I was the 2nd woman hes slept with- the 1st was a 1 night stand)he is 25 now

But when we 1st dated it was 3 times a night- and ill admit since i said it to him weve shagged 3 times in 1 weeks- doesnt seem like a lot- but hes really making an effort ......

Anyway 2 weeks ago my ex(Who had moved away just after the debs) txt me 2 say he was in town and asked 2 meet for a coffee.Hes been off the drugs 2 years and has a gf of 1 year- Hes now a barman and is buying a house with his sister.

The attraction was instant and he txt me after and said "Im sorry i know ur engaged but all my feelings for u came back today when i saw u - im still so in love with u...... will u marry me "

My feelings came back too-But i dont wanna marry him .... And ill admit i hate myself- That ***** did nothing but put me down when i was with him and my Fiance would move the earth for me

I know wat i should do

I know i love my ex.... But i know if hed a choice to save me or his stash hed kill me for his drugs ..............

i know i should Go for a great man who ive been with nearly 4 years- who adores me and treats me like a queen

but my ex has a pull over me

I feel like i know what to do- but i cant bring myself to do it!!:(

Talliesin

Wild boy. Good in bed. Broke the rules. The attraction is as obvious as the reasons why he was also bad for you.

If he's got his act together like he seems to, he isn't the same bad boy you remember anyway.

So you still have a crush on him, big deal, you don't even really know what he's like as a person these days.

I'd say concentrate on whether or not your happy where you are (and if not, on whether you can be) before trying to fire up old flames.

tbh

your ex isn't the person he was. Neither are you. You've no way of knowing whether the two of ye would be compatible - and all you'd be trying to do is relive the years ye were together - when the biggest thing you had to worry about was the leaving, and sneaking out to be together. You're adults now, and the game is completely different. I'm not saying it wouldn't work, I'm saying that if you got back together with your ex, you'd probably be disappointed. If you just had sex with him, from the sounds of things, you'd hate yourself for ages over something that just lasts one night and never goes anywhere. I can't tell you whether you should still be with your current bloke, but don't look to your ex as the answer to your prayers. Also, if your ex has a girlfriend for a year and admits he wants to be with you, he's not to be trusted.

Shelly23

I agree with the other posts. You both have moved on so there's no point in looking back. i think maybe you're considering him as an option because of the lack of sex life but going on how he treated you i wouldnt ever consider giving him the chance. the fact is that you're in a loving, committed relationship with someone who is willing to spend his life making you happy. fine, sex drive may be lacking but thats a minor thing that can be worked on.. maybe jsut find something he likes and work on it

i'd drop the ex once and for all and try focus on the good things you have going for ya!