What would you sell to the tourists?

MarkR

As I was scoffing down some gravy chips in the chicken hut in Limerick, I saw a large group of (presumeably) tourists. I suspected by the plethora of raincoats on and umbrellas raised. It wasn't raining at the time.

Anyway, this got me to thinking. How can I make money off them? After a seconds thought I realised there was an untapped market for anti-leprechaun trouser ties. Sturdy elastic tied securely around the ankles will keep the pesky buggers from running up your trouser leg and stealing your golden globes and family jewels.

I know the airport in Shannon used to sell genuine Irish turf to scent your home at five pounds for a small bit.

What would you / have you sell/sold to the needy tourist?

spurious

Bottles of air from inside Newgrange.

biko

In Limerick - stab vests.
In BAC - a GPS with headphones so that you can listen to info/stories/gossip as you walk around Dublin. Kinda like a walking tour you can do on your own.

MarkR

biko wrote:

In Limerick - stab vests.
In BAC - a GPS with headphones so that you can listen to info/stories/gossip as you walk around Dublin. Kinda like a walking tour you can do on your own.

When was the last stabbing? :rolleyes:

Slow Motion

If they're that gullable (sp?) I have a bridge I believe they might be interested in

Duggy747

A jar of Irish air.

A pair of used Leprachaun socks (A pair of children socks, between you & me!)

Turf

A jar full of our previous currency, the punt.

Some traditional music on a cassette tape (we are Irish, you know :rolleyes: )I'll say my family perform every day after trapping some leprachauns and eaten some porridge that's heated up over a fire in a crappy pot.

A lock of Brian Boro's hair.

Arther Guinness's finger (Used to pull the first ever Guinness :rolleyes: )

A tin whistle that belonged to Micheal Collins

Collie D

biko wrote:

In BAC - a GPS with headphones so that you can listen to info/stories/gossip as you walk around Dublin. Kinda like a walking tour you can do on your own.

That's not a bad idea actually. I have just patented it..I'll send you a freebie to ease your pain of missing out on millions.

Dragan

An honest to God piece of Bono.......

also gives us a good reason to give him the old el chop chop.

Plissken1

The poor ****ers have already been persuaded to holiday in Limerick, I would not try to sell them anything, they have been ripped off enough for one trip.:D

AlmightyCushion

An extremely rare and extremely lucky two leaved clover. I'd just get a three leaved clover and cut a bit of it off.

Ruu_Old

An Irish flag (actually one from India but they'll never know!). A lock of curly red hair.

super_furry

Red-headed babies. It's not like we want them.

Sully

Accommodation in a guest house

MarkR

Ooooh. Ashes. They were Angela's, I swear.

Fratton Fred

I saw a shop in Galway selling "A Piece of Home" or in other words, some dirt in a box shaped like a cottage.

Do people actually buy this shoite?

What about, a genuine peat digging spade, 300 years old and only had three new handles and four new heads (like Trigger's broom) :rolleyes:

Rb

MarkR wrote:

When was the last stabbing? :rolleyes:

Very true.

Bullet proof vests so.

BKtje

I'd sell them their very own authentic irish scumbag to take home with them.

Your very own little bit of ireland in your own home*.


*complete with authentic Irish robbery when your back is turned.

Firetrap

Those e-voting machines that are lying up in storage somewhere. They could be sold as Irish laptops. For added effect, load Windows 3.1 onto them.

Slow Motion

Firetrap wrote:

Those e-voting machines that are lying up in storage somewhere. They could be sold as Irish laptops. For added effect, load Windows 3.1 onto them.

The spec wouldn't handle 3.1, have to be DOS 3

Duggy747

Firetrap wrote:

Those e-voting machines that are lying up in storage somewhere. They could be sold as Irish laptops. For added effect, load Windows 3.1 onto them.

You crazy, man? You'll blow the entire scheme!! We should install the latest technological application, MS-DOS!!

EDIT: Ah Slo-Mo, great minds think alike!!

connundrum

Yore ma yeah.

Or some flights from Shannon to Heathrow, silly tourists will buy anything

jor el

MarkR wrote:

When was the last stabbing? :rolleyes:

The last stabbing I heard about on the news was in Meath. What's with all the Limerick bashing? I'd rather be here than in Dublin, not Galway though. You can't beat Galway.

Fratton Fred wrote:

Do people actually buy this shoite?

Yep. Ever been to a tourist trap/shop in Killarney?

spurious wrote:

Bottles of air from inside Newgrange.

A better idea is to sell them bottles of water. Seriously, you can charge more for water than they do for petrol, and no one complains. You'll have to watch out for Ballyg's hired muscle though if you want in on that market ¬.¬

Slow Motion wrote:

The spec wouldn't handle 3.1, have to be DOS 3

I doubt those machines would even count to 3.

Orange69

jor el wrote:

The last stabbing I heard about on the news was in Meath. What's with all the Limerick bashing?

This is Ireland, where pettiness is first and foremost..
Morons tbh, best to just ignore...

Pompey Magnus

The best I ever saw was years ago in Newgrange Visitor Centre (I think), it was an old Irish penny with a genuine Irish stone (basically just a regular run-of-the-mill pebble) in a little cardboard container - IR£10.

Ibjiba

I know in Sweden they sell moose poo to tourists, so perhaps you can collect some pieces from an Irish terrier (or why not Kerry blue terrier?) and sell?

Rowley Birkin QC

The shkull of St.Patrick

5 years later when they return.........the smaller shkull of St.Patrick. (from when he was a child).

thefinalstage

I would sell the spire! Muahahahah!

Knitting needles for everyone!

Capt'n Midnight

Slow Motion wrote:

The spec wouldn't handle 3.1, have to be DOS 3

the evoting machines wouldn't even run DOS, they are similar spec to the early 1980's home computers that you hooked up to a telly and a tape recorder.

Capt'n Midnight

jor el wrote:

I doubt those machines would even count to 3.

They'll count to any number you want.

You could get people to sponsor a leprachaun, €20 a month is a small price to pay...

Grey Squirrels with a green dye job.

Deliverance

I know two 12 yr olds on holiday on Sherkin Island (one was a resident) who sold rocks from the beach with little nail varnish flowers painted on them to American tourists.
The Yanks loved the quaint little poor kids and bought them, they made 65 pounds in one day! That was about 6yrs ago.

lezizi

Plissken1 wrote:

The poor ****ers have already been persuaded to holiday in Limerick, I would not try to sell them anything, they have been ripped off enough for one trip.:D

Have you ever been in Limerick? Id take living in Limerick with all our supposed stabbings, over spending a weekend in the West of Britian that ye call Dublin.
Anyway there has been way more murders, shootings ect in Dublin this year, but you dont hear about that on the news because it is the capital and it might scare the tourists away.

mcsmohil

biko wrote:

In Limerick - stab vests.
In BAC - a GPS with headphones so that you can listen to info/stories/gossip as you walk around Dublin. Kinda like a walking tour you can do on your own.

WHAT A NARROW MINDED COMMENT, WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK TO WASH DOWN THAT MEDIA BRICK YOU HAVE SWALLOWED?

Terry

mcsmohil wrote:

WHAT A NARROW MINDED COMMENT, WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK TO WASH DOWN THAT MEDIA BRICK YOU HAVE SWALLOWED?

Please read the charter before posting again. Thanks.

Feral Mutant

When I was in Blarney there was a gift shop selling "Blarney Stones" for €1 or €2 each. They were just rocks. The weirdest thing is they wouldn't be selling them if some people weren't buying them.