Plenty more fish.....and all that crap!!!

sillymoo2007

Well its nearly a week since I went on my 2nd date with whom I thought was Mr Niceguy but to my suprise I havent heard anything from him since we said our good nights after the date. Was Riverdance really that bad?? Or is it a case of him being a spineless git? Why is it that men find it much easier on their conscience to ignore a women than to spend 11c on a mannered not interested text? Regardless of that one date, am I so crap at dating that i'm not even worth the 11c PFO text? I'm just so angry about it as on both dates he was nothing but a gentleman and gave positive signals!! Any other girls out there ever had the silent treatment and what did you do about it?

:mad:

Vorsprung

Girls aren't the only ones who get it!

I went on a date with a girl last week, scored and all at the end, dropped her home like a gent. That was Wednesday, texted her next day saying cheers, great night and all that. We'd arranged something for this Tuesday because she was away for the weekend. Texted her on Saturday to see how she was getting on and .............nothing! Might send her one more tomorrow in case she forgot to reply but I doubt it, she was pretty quick with the replies before. Got a delivery report and all, so it wasn't that her phone's broke.

Big sea!

EDIT - I don't mind too much, but just to illustrate that girls can do it too!

Wibbs

Not a woman, but I reckon you can tick the box that says spineless git with regard to mr nice guy. Put it this way, if he reckoned there wasn't any future with the pair of you and hadn't the cohones to let you know that, I would say nice escape for you frankly.

hussey

firstly ... grow up ..
secondly ... why don't you text him ... we don't live in the 50s where men have to chase women, there could be a number of reasons why he hasn't got in touch ... why don't you find out why

also don't give me this crap about ... why is it that men .. blah blah blah ... it's not men, it's people. Build a bridge

get over it and get in contact ... or else continue to slag off him altogether, then if he does get in touch, dump him for being too late ... that will show him

BrandonBlock

Give him the silent treatment back, that should cancel things out.

Wibbs

Hussey, cop on. It's been a week. Simple common or garden manners would suggest some communication in the interim, especially considering the long weekend with two apparently Ok dates in the bag. Basic good manners. Now the OP quite likely misread the signals, but c'mon. Now I do agree that she should text him herself to find out what's what.

Chinafoot

hussey wrote:

firstly ... grow up ..
secondly ... why don't you text him ... we don't live in the 50s where men have to chase women, there could be a number of reasons why he hasn't got in touch ... why don't you find out why

also don't give me this crap about ... why is it that men .. blah blah blah ... it's not men, it's people. Build a bridge

get over it and get in contact ... or else continue to slag off him altogether, then if he does get in touch, dump him for being too late ... that will show him

While I wouldn't have put it in exactly those words, I do find myself agreeing with hussey.

Why haven't you called him or spent the measly 11c on a text? Does he have to chase you? Maybe he's had no phone for the past week. Maybe his phone was lost/stolen..

One way to find out....

sillymoo2007

hussey wrote:

firstly ... grow up ..
secondly ... why don't you text him ... we don't live in the 50s where men have to chase women, there could be a number of reasons why he hasn't got in touch ... why don't you find out why

also don't give me this crap about ... why is it that men .. blah blah blah ... it's not men, it's people. Build a bridge

get over it and get in contact ... or else continue to slag off him altogether, then if he does get in touch, dump him for being too late ... that will show him

After the 2nd date he asked me to text him to let him know I got home safe so I did text saying Home now etc had a nice evening and left it at that untill friday, when it seemed clear I wasnt going to hear anything further I text again asking was everything ok? and to enjoy the long weekend!.....I havent texted or emailed since ball is in court thats if he has any which at the moment seems he doesnt have any !!

TEH REAL CDP

why
don't
you
call
him?

This whole chasing business is stupid. Just pick up the phone and talk.

the_syco

sillymoo2007 wrote:

I havent texted or emailed since ball is in court

21st century woman playing by 19th century rules:rolleyes:

So you texted him that your OK, and suddenly the balls in his court? FFS woman, cop the f**k on, and get with the program. You want something, you got to grab it.

I'd say there's a strong chance that you're both waiting for the other to send a message. You're wondering why he hadn't called? Was he a spinless git? If you want to see a spineless git, look in the mirror, as you'll see one that doesn't want to take the next step.

"Oh, the balls in his court"... what bull. HE PROBABLY DIDN'T SEND A PFO YET AS HE'S STILL INTERESTED... but oh no, you see the lack of a PFO, as a PFO.


Wimmin:rolleyes::D

hussey

sillymoo2007 wrote:

After the 2nd date he asked me to text him to let him know I got home safe so I did text saying Home now etc had a nice evening and left it at that untill friday, when it seemed clear I wasnt going to hear anything further I text again asking was everything ok? and to enjoy the long weekend!.....I havent texted or emailed since ball is in court thats if he has any which at the moment seems he doesnt have any !!

Ok I was wrong, you got in touch, if it was delievered, then he doesn't want to go further

These things happen all the time, get over it and move on.

sillymoo2007

the_syco wrote:

21st century woman playing by 19th century rules:rolleyes:

So you texted him that your OK, and suddenly the balls in his court? FFS woman, cop the f**k on, and get with the program. You want something, you got to grab it.

I'd say there's a strong chance that you're both waiting for the other to send a message. You're wondering why he hadn't called? Was he a spinless git? If you want to see a spineless git, look in the mirror, as you'll see one that doesn't want to take the next step.

"Oh, the balls in his court"... what bull. HE PROBABLY DIDN'T SEND A PFO YET AS HE'S STILL INTERESTED... but oh no, you see the lack of a PFO, as a PFO.


Wimmin:rolleyes::D

I have made the effort twice his effort nil now wheres the 21st century man there ??? Besides What's wrong with wanting to be chased Do I look like a sprinter why should I do all the running??

milkerman

Yep, Riverdance is THAT BAD. Good chance the guy is still asleep in the theatre.
Seriously though, have you ever gone out with someone for a few dates and then just decided you didn't want to go out again? Your answer must surely be yes. Maybe Mr Niceguy is just deficient in the balls area and can't muster the courage to say no thanks.
Either way, move on. Loads of other nice guys out there - me for instance, practically perfect if viewed through beer goggles!

the_syco

sillymoo2007 wrote:

I have made the effort twice his effort nil now wheres the 21st century man there ??? Besides What's wrong with wanting to be chased Do I look like a sprinter why should I do all the running??

My apology if I read it wrongly, but you said for him to enjoy his weekend, so I don't see where this "twice" comes from... I've never seen you, so I don't know if you look like a sprinter, but you do look like you want a response. Telling someone to enjoy their weekend doesn't give you a response.

K-9

milkerman wrote:

Yep, Riverdance is THAT BAD. Good chance the guy is still asleep in the theatre.

Lol. Maybe the 2nd date choice was wrong. Actually, maybe, it was!

Seriously though text him or ring him again. You've nothing to lose!

Though if you think men are spineless gits for not ringing why are you posting here. You know it, so why ask?

It's not a good sign from him but if you think he's like that and it annoys you that much, Next?

Wimin!

LegacyUser

People (of both genders) are notoriously fickle. Don't take it personally. Don't waste thought cycles on it.

dellas1979

Ill give you my million dollar advice once again *sigh* (only kidding).

Ring him or text him asking him on a date (cinema, food, whatever).

Give him a specific day i.e Would you like to meet to go to the cimema this Friday?"

If he responds with a yes, well, there you go.
If he responds with a no, but we'll do it someother time, take it as a rain cheque (but dont get hung up waiting for the phone to ring).
If he doesnt respond, means that he is not interested.

Either way, you get your answer.

That is what I would do. Its straight forward and to the point and as I said even if he doesnt reply, you get at least get some closure.

muppetkiller

sillymoo2007 wrote:

Or is it a case of him being a spineless git?

:mad:

I don't understand this ? Why is it a sign that the guy is a wuss because he doesn't contact you again ? Maybe you bored the living bejebus out of him !
Sorry but it has happened to me in the past and the last thing I want to do is contact her again. It has also happened where i've texted to say thanks for the night but I didn't think it was going anywhere (Not in those words) , She'd still call and text and I wouldn't answer...why because I'm not interested !

I'm more confused as to why your so needy of this person. Are you one of these women who if he did show you interest you'd run for the hills ?
Maybe Mum is right treat them mean keep them keen

sillymoo2007

The obvious fact now at this stage is that he isnt interested which im fine with. The thing that gets my goat is how rude he is. Its so easy to send an email or text just simply saying I'm not interested blah blah blah. Its just common manners...

misswex

dellas1979 wrote:

Ill give you my million dollar advice once again *sigh* (only kidding).

Ring him or text him asking him on a date (cinema, food, whatever).

Give him a specific day i.e Would you like to meet to go to the cimema this Friday?"

If he responds with a yes, well, there you go.
If he responds with a no, but we'll do it someother time, take it as a rain cheque (but dont get hung up waiting for the phone to ring).
If he doesnt respond, means that he is not interested.

Either way, you get your answer.

That is what I would do. Its straight forward and to the point and as I said even if he doesnt reply, you get at least get some closure.

I am in total agreement with this, it is exactly what you should do!

PeakOutput

muppetkiller wrote:

why because I'm not interested !

no because your a coward have the manners to answer and tell her that for **** sake its not difficult

professore

sillymoo2007 wrote:

The obvious fact now at this stage is that he isnt interested which im fine with. The thing that gets my goat is how rude he is. Its so easy to send an email or text just simply saying I'm not interested blah blah blah. Its just common manners...

For those of you (mainly females) who overanalyse these things, let me explain in guy language:

He ignores you => He doesn't like you + He's rude => He's not a nice guy anyway. Forget about him.

To the poster saying they ignore texts and calls from someone they don't like after a first date, that's rude too - unless they told them that after the date in person.

py2006

If this guy rang/texted you the next day you would probably be freaked out that he was too keen! :rolleyes:

What you should do is ring him and if there is no response then move on!

DaMadSprogabeen

mmmm couple of things here.....

"whats wrong with wanting to be chased" immature alarm bells ringing here!!!!!!! Im begining to see why he wouldnt want anymore of that....

riverdance????....quite possibly as everyone on the board advised you would happen at the time he thought that this choice of date suggested certain things about your personality that he didnt want to explore any further!!!

You cant change anything about what others do but you can change yourself. maybe you should look at your attitude in these things and maybe make a few mature changes.

On the not replying thing...while in an ideal world everyone would be open and honest with each other there is no easy way of telling someone you dont like them. so he didnt reply and hoped you would get the message. thats life I wouldnt be too hard on him as you might find yourself in a similar situation in the future.

Wibbs

PeakOutput wrote:

no because your a coward have the manners to answer and tell her that for **** sake its not difficult

While I agree with you re the manners part and I personally would make the call(not text that's just sad as well as cowardly)to explain that it may not be a good idea to continue(nicely of course). I will agree with muppetkiller that some don't take the hint or even the direct answer. I don't know about men, but the backing off lark can really get some women going all out in pursuit mode, especially if they've "decided" you maybe a possible "one" and all that utter nonsense. Jesus I'm no great catch and precisely that has happened to me more than once. On one occasion after just one dinner. There can also be the element of "how dare you not like me". Also signals can be very mixed and interpreted in wildly different ways. I could just be being polite and considerate and that gets taken as some form of interest. That seems to happen more with men from what I gather though. Caveat to all this. This isn't that common or that often but if you have gotten that in the past, I can see why some men do the lazy thing and just break contact, even if it's not the woman's intention. It's no excuse though.

In the end OP, just ring the guy FFS. texts don't count. If you're going to have a relationship with someone surely game playing and miscommunication are hardly good foundations. It is the naughties after all and if I had to make most of the running with a woman, I would think twice about going any further TBH.

professore wrote:

For those of you (mainly females) who overanalyse these things, let me explain in guy language:

He ignores you => He doesn't like you + He's rude => He's not a nice guy anyway. Forget about him.

True, but then again sometimes men have to take into account what py2006 had to say

py2006 wrote:

If this guy rang/texted you the next day you would probably be freaked out that he was too keen!

Far too many play that game too.

PeakOutput

yep agree if you have said your not interested clearly then ignore away but until you do that its cowardice

Zulu

All I can say is: Riverdance!?! What were you fu(kin thinking woman?!?

sillymoo2007

Zulu wrote:

All I can say is: Riverdance!?! What were you fu(kin thinking woman?!?

Can we just get over this feckin riverdance thing! It's not about it being a good or bad date its simply about manners. Somebody said about misreading signs the signs I thought as being positive were planning a next date (no.3 even after riverdance) constant eye contact and generally having a good time. I dont expect him to do all the running but it does take two to communicate and at the moment i'm the only one communicating.....

Zulu

sillymoo2007 wrote:

Can we just get over this feckin riverdance thing!

I'm finding it hard - but fair enough I'll drop it.

It's not about it being a good or bad date its simply about manners.

True, there is an element of manners to it, but I'm guessing he reckons he won't have to see you again (ever) so reckons - **** it, why bother risk the confrontation, she'll get the hint (sooner or later)

Somebody said about misreading signs the signs I thought as being positive were planning a next date (no.3 even after riverdance) constant eye contact and generally having a good time.

Nah forget about all that. Any half decent veteran of the dating field will give you all the signs you need to get you into bed. (If thats what they are after)

I dont expect him to do all the running but it does take two to communicate and at the moment i'm the only one communicating.....

Well thats not true, he's communicating very clearly, you just (understandably) don't want to hear his message.

Look, try not to worry about it. It's a shame it didn't work out. By this time next year, you'll have done this a good few more times, and you never know, you might even meet someone who will tick your boxes, chase after you in a non clingy way, and who comes up with good date ideas saving you the grief

claire-g

the_syco wrote:

So you texted him that your OK, and suddenly the balls in his court? FFS woman, cop the f**k on, and get with the program. You want something, you got to grab it.

No way, u text a guy once, they dont reply, you call or text again next thing your "desperate" and they lose all interest (if they had any in the first place).

OP i'd say dont waste any more time on the guy!


Also...yes girls do the same but out of my group of friends men are the culprits of this saying one thing, meaning another sh1t. I dont get it and i dont care to, there are guys out there who are decent, i just have yet to meet one of them!! OP you will too!! (If you do gimme a heads up as to where they're hanging out )

sillymoo2007

Zulu wrote:

you might even meet someone who will tick your boxes, chase after you in a non clingy way, and who comes up with good date ideas saving you the grief

lol thanks

Zulu

claire-g wrote:

No way, u text a guy once, they dont reply, you call or text again next thing your "desperate" and they lose all interest (if they had any in the first place)....
..yes girls do the same but out of my group of friends men are the culprits of this saying one thing, meaning another sh1t.

uuugghhh <shudder>

Your attitude stinks.

TheJoker

To me the whole river dance thing says that there is more to this girl than meets the eye. Its refreshingly different. To be honest most of my friends would love to go on a date like that. For me it would be a sign that the girl has put a lot of thought into it and not just gone with the whole lets go to the pub routine. However, I wouldn't end the date just after river dance...few drinks are definatly called for.

Fair play sillymoo2007 for breaking the date mould....long may it last.

BigCityBanker

Im guessing it was pretty moving stuff?

sillymoo2007

Awww Thanks Now that Mr riverdance hasnt been in touch I'm fully available for original dates lol (kidding):p But just to say we did go for drinks after riverdance.

_Kaiser_

Sounds to me like he's just not interested OP - sorry.

But.. why can't/couldn't you just RING him? Far too many people these days try to run their relationships by text message. As the BT ad used to say, "it's GOOD to talk!"

As for the girl who was saying that texting someone more than once must mean you're desperate, I'm guessing you're still fairly young? Trust me, most guys grow out of that sorta crap. I myself hate stupid game-playing. Much prefer to be upfront and know where I/she stands.

Pepe LeFrits

Having done this twice recently perhaps I can offer the view from the other side.

He doesn't feel he needs to call you, because you already know the story, and why do you need to be reminded that he isn't interested? The fact that you haven't texted him tells him that either a) YOU aren't interested, b) you know that HE isn't interested or c) both. You're adults, you can read between the lines. You both know nothing is going to happen here, so why stretch it out? Move on.

Now, if you do text him asking what the story is, and he doesn't reply, then yes, he probably is a 'spineless git'. I should note that I've had first hand experience of women doing the exact same, so drop the feminist anti-men stance, it isn't healthy.

Alternatively, maybe he was just creamed by a bus as he joyfully skipped home from your date, enthused about what the future between you might hold, and he's dead or lying in a hospital bed somewhere.

sillymoo2007

Pepe LeFrits wrote:

Alternatively, maybe he was just creamed by a bus as he joyfully skipped home from your date, enthused about what the future between you might hold, and he's dead or lying in a hospital bed somewhere.

Ah even though I think he's a prat I wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy.

BigCityBanker

sillymoo2007 wrote:

Awww Thanks Now that Mr riverdance hasnt been in touch I'm fully available for original dates lol (kidding):p But just to say we did go for drinks after riverdance.

its depends - are you a one trick pony in the venue department? Was Riverdance a long term project? Or would you have the ability to pick another orignal idea for again?

sillymoo2007

BigCityBanker wrote:

its depends - are you a one trick pony in the venue department? Was Riverdance a long term project? Or would you have the ability to pick another orignal idea for again?

Guess you wont get to find out BigCityBanker!! I'm full of original ideas just Riverdance was one of my worst ones

cooperguy

Zulu wrote:

chase after you in a non clingy way

Quote of the month? I think so:D

OP I think you have accepted you need to move on so everything worked out grand in the end. Did you really want to be with someone who is a bit of a tard anyway.

K-9

sillymoo2007 wrote:

Can we just get over this feckin riverdance thing!

Wait a second though people advised you on another thread not to this!

Anyway, what did you do the first date?

He then asked you to pick a the 2nd date and after much deliberation, fretting, worrying what was the right decision, you decided riverdance.

To me asking a girl to decide a 2nd date isn't right. To me the first few dates should be absolutely about fun, maybe a few or many:D drinks, a bit of music, maybe the amusement park/funfair thing that was suggested on the other thread. I wouldn't even do dinner until maybe the 4th/5th date.

Also Riverdance, may not have been his thing and was maybe to much of a date date thing. A comedy club would be have been a better idea. He may have went for the few drinks afterwards because he felt he had to because he knew you put a lot effort into this.

The first few dates should be fun and light, thats just my point. And I know its the naughties, but asking the girl to decide a 2nd date. Apart from the fact a man should lead, it puts pressure on the girl.

BigCityBanker

sillymoo2007 wrote:

Guess you wont get to find out BigCityBanker!! I'm full of original ideas just Riverdance was one of my worst ones

on the contrary - I think Riverdance was a hell of a choice. The best export/advertisement for Ireland (perhaps with the exception of Arthur J) in the last 13 years.

You see if you had told me that this was gonna be your third choice then id be giving you one of these and one of these!

Peewee_lane

IMO - He ran!

Riverdance was too generous for a, what was it, second date??

Everyone is always just coming out of a relationship with a guard up and/or been single and have a strict sense of security from being alone.

IMO -You probably should have played it way cooler... he must have been so confused sitting there through that show wondering what you expected of him, and that you were too serious already. Always remember the reason why that guy/girl is single is because the previous one made a mistake!! You could hae set off wedding alarm bells or something and all he probably wanted was a few beers in the pub.

Forget him! Move on and chill out. Think like bigcitybanker, that was a really great idea.

Zulu

cooperguy wrote:

Quote of the month? I think so:D

<hats off> why thank you sir!

K-9

Peewee_lane wrote:

IMO - He ran!

Riverdance was too generous for a, what was it, second date??

IMO -You probably should have played it way cooler... he must have been so confused sitting there through that show wondering what you expected of him, and that you were too serious already. Always remember the reason why that guy/girl is single is because the previous one made a mistake!! You could hae set off wedding alarm bells or something and all he probably wanted was a few beers in the pub.

Forget him! Move on and chill out. Think like bigcitybanker, that was a really great idea.

Riverdance was too much of a couply thing to go on, more of a going out together thing, and then if you knew he would like it! Men:D Wimin;)

Peewee_lane

Seanies32 wrote:

Men:D Wimin

har har!

BigCityBanker

two lost souls living in a fish bowl, year after year

remember people - do not to restrict yourself to the fishbowl! and yeah, wear sunscreen.

sillymoo2007

BigCityBanker wrote:

on the contrary - I think Riverdance was a hell of a choice. The best export/advertisement for Ireland (perhaps with the exception of Arthur J) in the last 13 years.

Hell of a choice being a good thing or a bad thing? you offering to take me to trocadero's

MAKE MY DAY

Bigcitybanker will you just ever ask Sillymoo2007 out ?????
Come on folks we are all grown ups here (well most of the time) or is it just me misreading this thread ?????

the_syco

sillymoo2007, although it's good to think "outside the box", you should have picked up from the 1st date what he likes... I turned off the Riverdance video that someone had linked to after 10 seconds. My sympathies goto whoever had to sit through it, as I would've refused to go. If the dude dropped hints on what he likes, and you brought him to the complete opposite, you won't be hearing from him again.