one for the lads (or anyone with a penis)

The Bollox

when having a Tom Hank, what do you use?

6th

Yore Ma!

AlmightyCushion

The Bollox wrote:

when having a Tom Hank, what do you use?

A picture of Tom Hank.

Terry

My hand.
Yore ma!
Saliva and pre-cum.

Caliden

My right hand.

Part 2 of your survey: I'm left handed.

Sangre

I have a penis. I keep it in the fridge.

Where's the hot sauce option?

AlmightyCushion

Sangre wrote:

I have a penis. I keep it in the fridge.

Most people call them sausages.

biko

I keep my hands on top of the blankets

Sangre

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Most people call them sausages.

You flatter me.

AlmightyCushion

biko wrote:

I keep my hands on top of the blankets

Do you **** with your feet or something?

Terry

Myth wrote:

Where's the hot sauce option?

I love abusing my mod powers.

The Bollox

Biko wrote:

I keep my hands on top of the blankets

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Do you **** with your feet or something?

don't be daft! he can just bend that way

Heinrich

I saw a horse with one

Creamy Goodness

where's the hoover option?

The Bollox

Cremo wrote:

where's the hoover option?

that's a good one! where's Terry...

men are all ****

AlmightyCushion

Terry wrote:

I love abusing my mod powers.

Is that what you call it now.

Caliden

coolsmileygirl wrote:

men are all ****

ho ho I see what you did there. Very subtle

Ruu_Old

Mustard, get all my tips from the Mustard forum, lovely jubbly.

Terry

The Bollox wrote:

that's a good one! where's Terry...

Right here jacking it.

The Bollox

there's room for one more option, I feel Atari Jaguar deserves a place

One Cold Hand

I use my mental strength. No physical contact of any sort needed here. Of course it's not that difficult, one thought of YORE MA and I'm spent.

togster

Fruit..

Duggy747

Ruu wrote:

Mustard, get all my tips from the Mustard forum, lovely jubbly.

Good grief, man!! Imagine someone walked in on you an saw you holding you're wee buddy with all this strange yellow stuff all over it.

"Oh, eh, hey there. I was just cleaning off the cock cheese!"

I use the electric kettle, gives everybody's tea a nice "froth" to it

Where's Atari Jaguar? I'm sure someone has used theirs for other, ahem, uses besides games.

gucci

billys is more roundy at the top

barryfitz

The hole in my sub woofer, although thats more for ridin!! ::D

Creamy Goodness

actually better change hoover to vacum cleaner as well you know boards could get sued for libel :eek:

2funki4wheelz

why is there no diddy-**** option?

The Bollox

2funki4wheelz wrote:

why is there no diddy-**** option?

because I am fairly sure there are laws against using chimps for such purposes

Duggy747

Have any of you ever seen the ads on the web for a modified light torch that has a rubber vagina on the top of it? Stick your willy in and **** your dignity away!

AlmightyCushion

Duggy747 wrote:

Have any of you ever seen the ads on the web for a modified light torch that has a rubber vagina on the top of it? Stick your willy in and **** your dignity away!

Yeah the fleshlight. What's wrong with using your hand.

Duggy747

AlmightyCushion wrote:

Yeah the fleshlight.

Ha ha, what a name!! Imagine the power goes out in your house and your housemate / girlfriend / wife goes to find a torch but instead finds a gooey fleshlight, most likely still warm from a fresh whacking.

K-9

What about one for the girls, a poll that is , no I mean a separate thread with I presume some diferent options.

mcauley

Duggy747 wrote:

. . . . but instead finds a gooey fleshlight, most likely still warm from a fresh whacking.

Lovely use of imagery there!

Dragan

When you say vac, do you mean a Nilfisk, or a Dyson......the Dyson never loses suction........



......just like YORE MA!!!!!!!

Duggy747

Seanies32 wrote:

What about one for the girls, a poll that is , no I mean a separate thread with I presume some diferent options.

Meh, I presume anything that is long enough is a potential weapon for them. Chair legs, dildo, pineapple, a fist, etc. You know, romantic stuff.

mcauley

Duggy747 wrote:

Meh, I presume anything that is long enough is a potential weapon for them. Chair legs, dildo, pineapple, a fist, etc. You know, romantic stuff.

ROFL!
Highlight of this thread by far!!

K-9

Duggy747 wrote:

Meh, I presume anything that is long enough is a potential weapon for them. Chair legs, dildo, pineapple, a fist, etc. You know, romantic stuff.

Probably not enough options on the poll, though can we add the above as an option.

K-9

Where's the sheep option for us Donegal folk. Great time of year isn't it. This one works for Roscommon/Cavan/Clare people too.

2funki4wheelz

Duggy747 wrote:

Meh, I presume anything that is long enough is a potential weapon for them. Chair legs, dildo, pineapple, a fist, etc. You know, romantic stuff.

Typical man, thinking about what goes inside...

John Mason

2funki4wheelz wrote:

Typical man, thinking about what goes inside...

yeah, we dont need to stuff things inside us you know - actually, you probably dont know

Duggy747

2funki4wheelz wrote:

Typical man, thinking about what goes inside...

Well, I'd rather not think about what comes out...

irishbird wrote:

yeah, we dont need to stuff things inside us you know - actually, you probably dont know

Is that why so many women are vicious? You can tell if a guy is angry cuz he hasn't realeased his valves in a while

thefinalstage

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Atari Jaguar. Those sleek lines and glossy finish make me sex myself..

Caliden

I don't see 'Bear hand' up there on the list. (Or should it be paw?)

2funki4wheelz

Duggy747 wrote:

Is that why so many women are vicious? You can tell if a guy is angry cuz he hasn't realeased his valves in a while

Well I don't know what the delay would be with all the options up there to help you let off some steam

Jigsaw

1. Place a pound of mince and place it in a bowl.

2. Crack an egg into the mince and mix it up thoroughly until it binds well with the mince.

3. Transfer the mince into a pint glass.

4. Heat the pint of mince until approximately 37.5 degrees celsius and remove from microwave.

5. Place pint of lukewarm mince between cushions of sofa.

6. Place a sheath over the erect member.

7. Get on your knees and shag the pint between the sofa cushions like a demon.

PS - Ensure you are on your own in the house and all doors are locked and windows closed before carrying out the above.

Duggy747

ROFL, I wonder if Tesco do decent mince.

Jigsaw

Duggy747 wrote:

ROFL, I wonder if Tesco do decent mince.

The auld rough Tesco Value mince is grand for this. It is not as if the mince gets eaten afterwards. :eek:

K-9

Duggy747 wrote:

ROFL, I wonder if Tesco do decent mince.

The mince wouldn't matter. You don't look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fire! Well you wouldn't in this case anyway.;)

Why eat burgers when you have steak at home!

I'd be more concerned that I didn't overheat it.

admiralofthefleet

i use the missus for a good old cnut ****