Can't Stop

LegacyUser

myself and my boyfriend have fallen into this trap of taking coke alot, if its not one of us suggesting it its one of our friends, we try to not do it as much as we can but its hard when all your friends are constantly at it to. im scared its going to ruin our relationship and effect our lives, we try to stop but we always end up doing the same crap. im scared

Marksie

You have identified the issue. That is a first step.

Check the sticky in the cahrter for names and numbers for help.

You know that this is going to destroy everything eventually, that is why you are scared.

You are not strong enough to say no in front of your friends, and you dont trust yourselves anyways.

No moralising, no recrimination:

It is in your own hands if you want to stop this:

Do what is necessary, go to a clinic, go to your GP, get the necessary help.

Avoid your friends let them go, they are destroying you

Victor

Then you need to change a few things.

Change you group of friends to exclude the ones doing drugs. Find some other activity to replace the drugs.

Talk to your GP and get advice on what services are available locally.

How does your boyfriend feel about this?

LegacyUser

He feels the exact same way. We know that we will loose eachother if we keep doing this and we love eachother so much. We are going to start to go to these meetings on friday and monday nights. But it is just scary, i have a good job my own apartment and a great boyfriend and im just scared were gonna fall apart because of this but ive learnt my lesson for this and have really decided this is the end of taking that crap

DAVE_K

Been there. It's very easy to fall into the trap of taking coke, pills etc at the weekends to "compliment" your night. Problem is after a while the night isn't a night anymore unless you have some.

What happens to lead you to taking it - you're in a pub with your mates on a friday/Sat and out it comes? or you plan to get it (i.e. call the man, meet him, pick it up). I doubt you're taking it every day (or are you?). What I'm trying to get at is that you need to change your behaviour. If all your mates are doing it and you end up going along with it because you're in the situation then you need to not go out with those friends on the nights in question.

I find with me I could be really gung ho about not doing it but when I got a couple of pints down me i'd slip. For me the only way not to do it was not be in the situation where other people were doing it in my presence. What you'll need to do then is find something else to do at the weekends so you don't feel your missing out......there's a whole host of outdoor activities to do in Ireland at the weekends that'll give you even more of a buzz than taking drugs, they'll cost you a lot less and are GOOD for your health.....where abouts you live (i.e. in the city or in the country).

At the end of the day Coke is pricey (and given the superhuman drinking capabilities it gives you can end up spending a fortune in booze), can turn you into an arsehole, and is bad for your health......its not smart.

DRakE

Can't stop

Addicted to the shindig?

LegacyUser

'Thanks Dave,
weekends only, live near Dublin, boyfriend from dublin. had been good for 3 weeks then f*cked up last night, then couldnt sleep because of guilt, only got a small bit but was enough to make me feel like we had failed again! have willpower when its just the 2 of us but then when his friends get some all willpower fades'

DAVE_K

Yep it's f*cking hard to avoid the stuff. I left Dublin at the start of this year - got out of the drug thing at the weekend a few years back but did go back to the trough a few times, my mates though are still going at it years on. The rest of the country seems to be awash with the stuff now too.....i could see it being very hard to get from Friday to Sunday without coming into contact with the stuff once you're in the know.

You're not really physically addicted to the stuff (in my eyes) - sounds like more of a dependence or habit you've slipped into and in certain situations it ends up seeming like a good idea.

I got into surfing - which takes up the weekends - why not get into something like that - if you and your man can find some activity you both enjoy it'll make your whole life a lot better and you'll be actually getting up, out and doing something rather than sitting round talking sh*te. Hillwalking at the weekends is good too. I'm sure there's a few hill walking groups around Wicklow - i know there's one for sure in Arklow which isn't too far away. You could learn to windsurf out in Monkstown or down at the grand canal basin, or join a kayaking club and go padding at the weekends - there's a lot of options. The hardest part to any of these things is getting in the door the first night - after that it's easy.

Getting into weekend activities you can still keep up contact with yer mutual friends during the week, just when the white stuff comes out you'll be elsewhere having some real fun.

My biggest regret now is that I didn't get into more activities in my twenties but instead wasted a whole lot of weekends getting rubbered on a whole variety of substances with my biggest worry being whether we'd get into an early house or not.

You've made a step in the right direction - stick with it now and you might just come out of the whole thing smiling.

r3nu4l

I think that if you and your boyfriend aren't willing to cut ties with these friends then you should both just tell them that you are trying to give up, much like a smoker or drinker would. Then ask them to help by not offering you any lines.

If they really are true friends they should understand. If that doesn't work out then you really should cut loose from these people.

New activities that get you out of your usual routine/habit is a great idea. Good luck.

windy bee

Coke is ok but it has a lot of sugar, try stick to diet, its better for you.

davyjose

I sense a few bannings in the air!

OP, you NEED to drop your friends NOW. You NEED TO NEED TO NEED TO let them go. They WILL, as Marksie said, destroy you.
I was in a not to disimilar situation with my then best friend a few years ago. And I was always miserable. We parted ways and I cleaned up my act. I'm very happy now - at the expense of a really good friend - but it was necessary!

Marksie

windy bee wrote:

Coke is ok but it has a lot of sugar, try stick to diet, its better for you.

Windy Bee: Please read the charter as regards unhelpful and off topic posting.

Beruthiel

windy bee wrote:

Coke is ok but it has a lot of sugar, try stick to diet, its better for you.

banned for being a total idiot

/edit
sorry mark,
didn't see you're comment above, however, he's still banned.

ShowUsYourXbox

Same position here, friends are still in that position.

If i don't get drunk, i won't want to go near the stuff. If im not in a house party with people doing it, i won't even think of it.

Therefore i don't get hammered as much and i avoid those house partys. I suggest you do the same thing.

Marksie

Beruthiel wrote:

banned for being a total idiot

/edit
sorry mark,
didn't see you're comment above, however, he's still banned.

No problem Beruthiel.

r3nu4l

I just had a thought. Another option for you is to make your apartment your place of entertainment. Invite work colleagues or teammates (if you're sporty) and their partners for dinner or drinks and nibbles and watch a couple of DVDs. Cultivate new friends this way. Including dinner in the package adds a different feel and dimension to the event. It becomes a social gathering rather than a 'bring on the drugs' party feel.

If you still really don't want to ditch your current friends how about inviting them over to your place with a 'no drugs' policy. Have dinner, beers and a laugh. If someone does produce any powder ask them to leave.

Only you can quit and if the two of you are serious then you have a better chance. If you are on a night out with your friends and they offer you a line or two just leave the pub for 10 mins, go for a walk or a drink elsewhere by yourselves and then rejoin them if you are resolved not to go back for a few lines.

oneeyedsnake

I'd say if you stop drinking you might find it alot easier to avoid drugs

meglome

Don't do drugs myself but have groups of friends who do so I know how it is for you. I've been at parties with this gang and I'm the only person there who isn't taking pills and coke. If you're there you are expected to take them, It's almost like I'm some sort wierdo for not getting involved but I don't care at all. They don't see at all what they're like after taking all these drugs, jesus I've been told whole life stories. Sit back and actually talk to your friends when your not taking any drugs and they are. It puts me off everytime.