Feeling under pressure - what would you do?

nikolasjdsbs

I’ve suffered from depression for a lot of my life and I’m in my mid twenties now and I feel like I need to shake my life up a bit, but I don’t know how.
Career wise I’ve done moderately well up until now, and for two years I’ve been in a job in my chosen profession but it hasn’t worked out quite as well as I planned. Its not down to my ability but rather the company I work for.
I’d regard myself as a reliable ‘good’ employee but I haven’t found it easy, there’s been fairly regular periods of bullying from my immediate superior.
There is no point in me reporting it, although I had a quiet chat with her boss on the QT.
The boss, boss seemed to be sympathetic but I don’t know if I can deal with this issue head on - and I’ve been told by a solicitor (who told me to get a new job) that I could screw them over.
While this would give me a bit of satisfaction I reckon it would pretty much sabotage my career, the person with whom I’ve had the problem is well respected in the business and if word got out I think I could kiss goodbye to work opportunities elsewhere.
I’d rather bite my tongue and say goodbye if I knew there was work elsewhere.
As I mentioned earlier in the post I’ve struggled with depression quite a bit, and the work hassle hasn’t helped either.
To further complicate matters I’ve bought a place, and mortgage will be starting in the next little while.
The good news is I’ve built up enough savings to cover the first two years of the repayments.
I’ve looked around and tried to find jobs in the industry but for one reason or another there are absolutely none at the moment.
For the first time ever I’m finding it hard to make decisions, although I know I need to make one.
Factors are happiness and feeling that I’m not progressing/effect of bullying versus the worry that if I quit job I might find it very hard to get another one.
The other option is to change careers completely.
I’ve discussed it with family but they ain’t too enthusiastic.
They seem to think I should stick it out, and look forward to getting house..etc..
If I wasn’t so scared of the risks/uncertainty of quitting I’d do it..
Anyone else ever been in my shoes, what would you do?
Thanks for reading!

biko

It's your life and you owe it to yourself to make whatever you can to be happy, whatever that may entail.
Stay in job but keep looking for another.
Don't report you supervisor, it'll only come back and you have already told his/her boss.
Good luck!

Moss

I couldn't take being bullied in work. You're not being fair to yourself to put up with it. If it is too costly to deal with it head on then get yourself a good reference and move job.

If you are vulnerable to depression, the very last thing you need is to be bullied. Bullying would make anyone depressed.

Don't make any radical decisions like changing career, take small steps and gradually get yourself into a better position.

What kind of help have you ever got for depression? Have you ever talked to a professional psychologist? The're expensive but its worth the money. I have suffered from depression too and thats what has helped me the most. It could make an enormous difference to talk to a professional about the best way to get through this.

nikolasjdsbs

Thanks for the advice lads.
"Don't make any radical decisions like changing career, take small steps and gradually get yourself into a better position."
Very true, thought of it myself..but the reality is I told myself to sit tight, be patient and something better will happen, but thats going back over a year.
Things just ain't happening/opportunities opening up quick enough for my liking, and in the meantime I ain't happy.
Yes I've been seeing a professional psychologist, totally agree its worth the money. Its a help but you can only do so much during an hour a week.
Tis up to me to handle things in the real world.
To be honest i'd feel like a failure if i packed in job due to hassle, it would also mean me moving cities, and probably moving back in with the parents.
Nothing wrong with that but at this stage I thought i'd be independent and strong enough to stand on my own two feet.
Whats happened/I've experienced is not what I wanted to happen,
Good advice, though great as it'd feel I won't report my supervisor..
Counsellor is great for the time im there but I'm the one who has to make decisions when im out and about in the big bad world!

Tim Robbins

Sounds like you should get another job and in interim learn some simple way of dealing with your boss. Sounds cringe inducing but it might be a case of just making small talk and laughing at some bad jokes and mimizing the interaction between the two of you.

Make sure there are no misunderstandings between the work you are supposed to be doing and what you are doing. This might mean planning better and making sure you are reporting progress clearly.

Is there anyway you could transfer to another department in your company so you would have another boss?

Bottom line is you can't dwell on this. When you leave work in the evening, do whatever it takes so it doesn't take over your life. Read, watch movies, catch up with mates, get some excercise, pick up a new hobby. Whatever it takes.

I wouldn't accuse someone of bullying etc. unless you had good evidence that is what it is. It could just be a personality clash which happens all the time. What other jobs have you worked at and how have you got on with your bosses there? I have had a number of jobs and I find some managers have different styles of management. It might just be a case the current style of your manager doesn't suit you.