Opinions, Help

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I want to see peoples input on whats happing with me atm.
Sometime when I drink, I can become mean, its really strange since Im not mean ever when Im sober. I don't know why, but Im just put in the mood and Im usually with my friends who are all lovely.
Its getting to the stage where I feel extremely guilty about everything thats happening and it might be damaging my relationships with people. I'm starting to think that maybe I have issues. I don't have many problems, I've good friends and family, a decent job and a great girlfriend. The only thing is I used to be bullied when I was younger and Im thinking it may have something to do with that.

Anyone here with a similar problem or any suggestions?

Amy- Cayx

my friends a mean drunk, it wont save you any friends.
he gets it from gin, it could be what your drinking.

davyjose

DON'T DRINK!!

I don't mean to trivialise your situation, but if you smacked your head off a wall for an hour each day, and complained about having a sore head, would you heed the advice of someone who told you to stop. It's that simple.

Sure, giving up the booze can be difficult socially (softened by the financial gains), but is it worth it? Make a choice: is it easier to drink and suffer, or quit and enjoy life!!! Simple.

MooseJam

what the previous poster said

Talliesin

Agreed.

Even if you hope to get to the point where you can still have a few drinks without such incidents, start by cutting it out for a while.

Esel

Amy- Cayx wrote:

my friends a mean drunk, it wont save you any friends.
he gets it from gin, it could be what your drinking.

Does it only happen when you drink a certain type of alcohol? Whiskey, gin, vodka, whatever? If so, avoid that drink like the plague.

Black Swan

Have a cousin that turns mean when he drinks. Makes no difference what (hard liquor, wine, beer). Gets in a lot of fights when drunk. His solution was to stop drinking. He's glad he did, and so are we!

LegacyUser

well its strange because I've been drinking for a number of years now, fairly steadily and I've never been like this before. I am gonna start cuttin down on the drinking but I don't think its the problem since I've been doing it for so long.

Marksie

mean wrote:

well its strange because I've been drinking for a number of years now, fairly steadily and I've never been like this before. I am gonna start cuttin down on the drinking but I don't think its the problem since I've been doing it for so long.

Who knows what the cumulative effects are on the system. Smoking when younger doesn't cause issues, it does later though*.

The past isn't the issue, whats happening now is and cutting down wont help, as the temptation to have "just one more" will be there. The drink may be beginning to control you rather than vice versa

mean wrote:

Sometime when I drink, I can become mean, its really strange since Im not mean ever when Im sober. I don't know why, but Im just put in the mood

Seems to be a link between the drink and the mood?
Your friends might not be your friends much longer, you shouldn't have to spend half the next day apologising or feeling guilty.
If its the bullying thing, i don't know. That would need to be looked at later, but for now, whataver the source, you know what the effects are, take positive steps





*gross generalisation for illustrative purposes

Seth Brundle

I used to have a passion for whiskey. I loved it and could drink loads of the stuff. Unfortunately, it made me agressive and so I had to stop drinking the stuff!

Victor

What do you mean by "mean" (pun not intended)? Harsh words? Abusive? Violent?

Realise that alcohol reduces you inhibitions and you are likely to engage in behaviours that you wouldn't normally.

davyjose

mean wrote:

well its strange because I've been drinking for a number of years now, fairly steadily and I've never been like this before. I am gonna start cuttin down on the drinking but I don't think its the problem since I've been doing it for so long.

Perhaps in the past you have had no reason to be mean; when I was 20 life seemed a lot rosier than it does now (it's just growing up and entering the real world, I guess). I think there's a little bit of denial in your case. As I said before - you have a choice, but ultimately what happens, and what you do, falls at your feet.

billy the squid

Pack in the gargle. your friends will get sick of nights out being ruined by aggression, whether it being intentional or not.

aidan24326

Firstly, 'mean' is a bit of a vague term in the context. Do you mean you get aggressive? Say nasty things to people? Or just turn into a bit of a pr1ck when you're drunk?

Most people have certain things they shouldn't drink. For me I learned to avoid Bacardi years ago, and Jack Daniels wouldn't do much good for me either. But I can drink other things without a problem.

If, for you, it's simply all drinks, then you have little choice but to give up. You may be one of these people who just isn't suited to it. I know a couple of people who don't drink because it simply doesn't agree with them.

Do you drink alot of spirits like whiskey, gin, etc? They tend to be much more likely to cause problems than a few beers.

EDIT: I notice you mentioned being bullied when you were younger. I'm sorry to hear that but I don't really see what relevance it has.

davyjose

To be honest, I think it's a load of Boll*cks when someone says, "I can't drink Tequila, cos it makes me aggressive" but think they can drink anything else just fine.
It totally takes the culpability out of the fact that alcohol has a very strong effect on how the brain works. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative.
I think it's much more down to the frame of mind a person is in when they get drunk. And you'll find a lot of the time when you're in a good mood you start off with a few beers and gradually get wasted. It's usually when something sh!t happens, that's when people opt for the double Jamesons. And I think that's where the confusion lies.

Naos

davyjose wrote:

To be honest, I think it's a load of Boll*cks when someone says, "I can't drink Tequila, cos it makes me aggressive" but think they can drink anything else just fine.

I don't know. I have found things like drinking vodka has a worse affect than me than say Samuca. That being said, it is probably to do with the mixer you choose to drink the alcohol with.

And you'll find a lot of the time when you're in a good mood you start off with a few beers and gradually get wasted. It's usually when something sh!t happens, that's when people opt for the double Jamesons. And I think that's where the confusion lies.

I disagree with the "hitting doubles whens something **** happens" statement.

When you are in a good mood, its possible to associate it with the lowered inhibitions. Thus you turn to more drink to lower them more and thus up the fun.

OP: I'm off drink for the next few weeks, want to try sort self out a little bit health wise and save up some cash.

If drink is making you turn mean and you find it hard to give up for social reasons (A) You may have a problem but (B) Try stick to bottles of beer only. Drink it at the same pace you would a pint of beer.

Maple

Stay off the booze or seriously cut down. maybe stay off spirits and stick to beer.

LegacyUser

By 'mean', I mean saying harsh things sometimes. It doesn't happen the entire night and only happens a bit during it. Its weird because I'm not an aggressive person. Anyways, thanks guys for your comments. Im just going to cut down and play it by year.

aidan24326

davyjose wrote:

To be honest, I think it's a load of Boll*cks when someone says, "I can't drink Tequila, cos it makes me aggressive" but think they can drink anything else just fine.

That's all well and good, and I never said I got aggressive with any drink. Just that certain drinks might take more effect than others, same goes for alot of people. It's unquestionable that drinks like tequila are seriously potent and far more likely to make somebody do or say something stupid than a few beers.

Maybe the OP needs to quit drink altogether, maybe he doesn't. But I think it's prudent to tell someone to lay off the strong spirits at least, for a start.

Skip Work!

I was with a guy for three years who was exactly like what you described. Please note I said "was with". I couldn't put up with it any more, I got tired of listening to his apologies the morning after a night out drinking and giving out to me.
I don't mean to sound harsh, I just think you should give up drinking if its making you act like that. Probably easier said than done though.
Best of luck.

Victor

mean1 wrote:

By 'mean', I mean saying harsh things sometimes.

Is it possible that you actually do hold these feelings when sober, but don't let them out? That you are frustrated or annoyed by those around you. And then when drinking and uninhibited it all comes out in a furious burst?

Do you need to perhaps create an honest dialogue with your friends?