feel kinda bad

LegacyUser

hey, im with a girl who i love.. but i dont think im in love with. we are both 18 and have been going out 2 years now. for some reason I dont feel the need or want to be intimate with her, other than when she gets me really excited, i do what ever just to keep her happy. she looks after me very well, anything i want i get, and shes a very good person who people take advantage of. life isnt always on her side.

i've come to realise that im looking at other girls and what not, i wouldnt go near them as i couldnt live with myself if i did. i just think "what if" all the time.. I dont think i want to go near other girls, but i dont know if i want to be with or without her. I dont really miss my gf, but i am happy when shes around. She is mad about me, and would do anything for me and is very understanding. I force myself to be the same, but i dont really feel like i want to do most of the stuff, which i think is wrong.

I feel really selfish, like im only being with her to keep her happy. I am happy being with her, i just kinda feel awkward as of late. The thought of breaking up with her would hurt me, but i know it would crush her. i dont know what to do. She has alot of family issues, which she comes to me for comfort with, she depends on me alot. I dont know what to do.

do you think im being selfish by staying in this relationship? I dont think i would find a better girl than her, i just dont know if that spark is still there.

from what you have read base your answer, i wont have it in me to reply. sorry

smartypants

listen mate we have all been there, you can't stay with her just because shes mad about you. your only 18 its kinda natural to be curious about other women.

Your right it is being selfish being with her to keep her happy and im sure she would rather not be with if she knew the reason why you were still with her. Maybe you should try suggesting a break?

unregd147

She sounds more like a really good friend to you; if you break up with her you will more than likely lose her friendship. I’ve seen this happen again and again and surprisingly enough the person dumped often comes out the better of the couple.
You are used to her being devoted to you; therefore you’re taking her for granted. Bear in mind when you find someone else this won’t be the case. Also down the line her “new” boyfriend will more than likely treat her better than you.
As you’ve said you find it hard to be intimate with her, the main issue here is whether or not you are attracted to her, it comes across as you are'nt. If this is the case you should break up with her and move on. If not it sounds like you are getting bored with your relationship and your eyes are wondering, in which case I’d give you a slap on the back of the head and tell you to cop on and be happy with what you have.
Thats just my opinion though, I've been with my girlfriend since I was 16 and im 20 now, around 2 and a half years into the relationship I was feeling the same as you and broke it off, I regretted it very soon after.
Best of luck whatever happens!

smartypants

come on !! you cant go through life thinking "oh what if". your only 18, how do you really know what you want, you need to get out there and experience things.

what if you cling on in there for 2 more years and it doesn't get better? another wasted 2 years! Also i think your more afraid of not finding another girlfriend. You shouldnt even be thinking about another girlfriend if you break up, enjoy your nights out for a while, have the odd lads holiday, then see how ya feel

lordgoat

Your first post is suprisingly honest if you don't know how to say this to her. Get her to read it, or write it out and ask her what she thinks of it. It's not fair on either person, but it's also nobodys fault. As someone else said, we've all been there.

Plateau

It sounds like your relationship is coming to an end. You don't feel about her as she feels about you, and in the end, that will cause you to break up I think. You're probably better off not leaving it until one of you resents the other. Easier said than done though.

I think everyone on here has been through this one, and it can be heartbreaking for both sides, particularly as she is probably your first serious girlfriend. I don't envy you mate.

Listen to your gut and when you figure out how you feel and what you want to do, do it, no matter how difficult it is.

Reku

Perhaps taking some time away from her will help you sort out your feelings for her, help you decide whether you want her as a friend or a partner, as the adage goes "sometimes you have to take a step back to see the bigger picture". It'd only be fair to let her know that you are feeling uncertain about things though and that this is why you want time to sort things out in your head.

LegacyUser

Think im in the exact same situation as you mate,
Im her only friend here so i think she'd take it very bad

good luck