Silly argument again and again

LegacyUser

Hi everyone.

Myself and my girlfriend are arguing again and again over the same thing. It's petty but I think that there is alot beneath this argument. All comments welcome...

We live in a city center apartment and have been together 18 months.

My brother lives in a suburb approximately 25 minutes from here.

Of the 3 of us, I am the only one with a car.

When we are going anywhere together (all 3 of us), we have 2 choices. 1) I ask my brother to walk the 25 minutes or 2) I drive to collect him and then go.

I want to do 2 and she tells me I should do 1. I want to give my brother a lift to save him the time. She wants him to walk because she says he is a grown man and is manipulating me. I just want to help himout. She wants him to help himself.

So, should I just let him walk or should I collect him.

Stupid argument, I agree, but we both want to read some comments to see what others think.

Nevyn

Are there no buses ?

Wibbs

Assuming there isn't more behind this it is a very petty argument. For me I would say it's your car, you do what the hell you like with it. If that means giving your brother a lift what's the problem? I'm sure you not giving him a lift is going change him in a big way. :rolleyes:

I suspect there is more going on here than just the lift though. If not I would question sanity all over the place. You mention that your GF thinks your brother is manipulating you. Does he do this in other ways? Is that the real issue.

Frankly if a partner of mine was constantly picking arguments over something I would be asking serious questions of myself first and then her. What point is she really trying to make? Have I really listened and really given it thought. If I had and came to my own conclusions, I would explain my position and ask her to agree to disagree as nagging will do no good as I heard you the first time. If it continued with the arguments I would not be happy. I have this before over friends that GFs didn't like. On occasion they were entirely right and I took their advice on board. On occasion they weren't and some agreed to disagree and we worked it out, others continued harping on resulted in them being exes. Lifes too short.

LegacyUser

If it takes him 25 minutes to walk it must take you about 3 or 4 minutes to go pick him up... what is the issue here?

DublinWriter

Wibbs wrote:

I suspect there is more going on here than just the lift though.

Seconded.

kjt

Meet him halfway

Rb

You own the car, therefore it is your decision.

Oryx

Some questions I think are pertinent.
Does GF like your bro?
Does he go out with ye a lot (as in too much)?
Does she try to control you in any other way?
Does he?
Does he make ye late?

Just trying to figure why this small issue should be causing such aggro.

Trinity

I dont really see why she should have a problem with this , he is your brother. Unless hes taking the piss by asking you to chaffeur him round everywhere.


What exactly did she say bothers her about this? I'd offer anyone a lift, especially family!! SHe wants him to Help himself? I dont get it, i'd certainly love someone to save me a 25 minute walk if they offered! But i dont ask and i dont depend on anyone, doesnt mean i cant or wont do things for myself if i say yes now and again though!

At the end of the day you have said you WANTED to do 1 - give him a lift. Thats all that matters as i cant see why something like this could be detrimental to your relationship with your girlfriend.

00112984

He who pays for the petrol gets to decide...

carnival_joe

oh god, the thought of all that pollution and damage to the enviroment. unless its raining, let him walk

KdjaCL

Make her walk to his house everytime you go out together and pick her up there.

kdjac

jesus_thats_gre

Pick him up if its on the way, makes sense or there is virtually no traffic. Make him get tht Bus/Luas/Dart in when those options are quicker options than you driving out to pick him up or if he is not on the way.

It's not that ****ing complicated you know..

Beruthiel

Sillyargument wrote:

She wants him to walk because she says he is a grown man and is manipulating me. I just want to help himout. She wants him to help himself.

This is the comment you should be looking at. If she liked your brother, she'd be telling you to pick him up, something bothers her about him.
Why does she say he needs to help himself?
Is he helpless?
Does he take advantage of you?
Is he getting in the way of your relationship from her perspective?

When you can answer the above, you'll know what's going on.
Talk to her and get to the bottom of it.
It's obvious that she is not saying what's really on her mind as you come across as caring for your brother and she can't be seen to be interfering with that.

pablo21

KdjaCL wrote:

Make her walk to his house everytime you go out together and pick her up there.

kdjac

Brilliant!!

MagicMarker

To be honest it just sounds like SHE thinks your brother is taking advantage of you.