Norm's Words oF Wisdom

The Hill Billy

There's been a lot of aggro around these parts over the past few days. In an effort to bring back a lighter tone to the forum I thought that I'd share some words of wisdom from Norm Peterson (who, if he hadn't such a full head of hair would have made the perfect mascot):

Some classic Norm quotes from Cheers...

Coach: What's doing, Norm?
Norm: Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig.

Sam: What will you have, Norm?
Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

Sam: What'll you have, Norm?
Norm: Fame, fortune, and fast women.
Sam: How 'bout a beer?
Norm: Even better.

Sam: What's new, Norm?
Norm: Most of my wife.

Coach: What's the story, Norm?
Norm: Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it.

Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.

Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm: Daddy wuvs you.

Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

Sam: What's up, Norm?
Norm: My nipples. It's freezing out there.

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?
Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?

Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, "Insert beer here."

Sam: What's new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer.

Woody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.

Sam: Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?
Norm: Beats me. ... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead.

Coach: How's life, Norm?
Norm: Not for the squeamish, Coach.

Coach: How's a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.

Coach: Beer, Normie?
Norm: Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young.

Woody: What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Elope with my wife.

Woody: What's shaking Mr. Peterson?
Norm: What isn't?

Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
Norm: See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers.

Zaph

My personal favourite:

Woody: Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early isn't it, Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.

smashey

Woody (I think): What are you up to?
Norm: My ideal weight if I was nine feet tall.

trout

Woody: What's shaking Mr. Peterson?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins ... gimme a beer.

Capt'n Midnight

Norm: Women. You can't live with 'em.
Pass the beernuts.
( anyone got the longer version ? )


Norm, "I'll think I have a Perrier" [pretending not to drink beer]
Norm's boss, "Give me a beer"
Norm, "Wait a minute now. Beer. Sounds like a refreshing change. I think I'll have a beer."


Woody: "Can I draw you a beer Mr. P.?"
Norm: "I know what they look like, just give me one."


Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.


Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.
Norm: I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.


Woody, "He Mr. Peterson I am a Leo, what does my horoscope say?"
Norm, "Young bartender should refill mug of thirsty patron in corner bar."
Woody, "These things are so vague, they can apply to anybody."


Norm, "Well, bars can be very sad places. Some people spend there whole lifes in the bar.
Just yesterday, some guy sat right next to me for 11 hours."