what would you steal?

mawk

right so im in work tonight and this girl who CANNOT have been over 13 walks in crotches a bottle of smirnoff ice and legs it out the door!

now this raised two questions..

1. why put it down her pants if she knew she would have to run?
2. Why the balls would ANYONE bother stealing just one 330ml bottle of smirnoff ice?

i mean.. i just dont get how dumb scobe kids can be..

they usually grab the dutch gold too.. and its the furthest form the door so they always get caught.

but moving on and letting the police drag her home, what is the smallest ammount you would consider worth the effort or risk to steal? not counting morals of course.

im saying that even with low chance of getting caught, less than €50 seems to be too pointless to be worthwhile

Creamy Goodness

1. she's 13, hasn't got full education.
2. she's a she.
3. one is enough for her.

if i was to steal it would be small and frequent, generally items that cost a lot are normally bigger and bulkier and carry more risk of getting caught.

Numina

Cremo wrote:

1. she's 13, hasn't got full erection.

Fixed. Don't ask, I'm quite tired.

Thrill

What would you steal?

YORE MA's heart.


I don't think theres anything worth stealing that i would be prepared to do time for.

But, hypothetically speaking, it would have to be a few million euro's or maybe a PS3.


.

mawk

numina.. that.. hurt.

luckat

I'd steal food if I or mine were starving. I'd steal shelter for the same reason. Otherwise, no.

Winters

mawk wrote:

but moving on and letting the police drag her home, what is the smallest ammount you would consider worth the effort or risk to steal? not counting morals of course.

im saying that even with low chance of getting caught, less than €50 seems to be too pointless to be worthwhile

If you have no morals then there is no limit on the smallest value item to steel.

When I used to work in a local shop you had people trying to steel €2 euro worth of fishing weights or feathers or whatever it was. Sometimes even less.

Then again, these are the sort of people who's main aim in life is to walk around in tracksuits with their celtic caps at a 90 degree angle and act like a wigger. The sort of people you would have thought/hoped evolution would have destroyed years ago.

Blush_01

luckat wrote:

I'd steal food if I or mine were starving. I'd steal shelter for the same reason. Otherwise, no.

I'll second that. But only if every other resource had been exhausted first.

Black Swan

Steal? Someone's heart! (B!ue auditions for Mel's Apocalypto II)

Tar.Aldarion

I have no problem stealing anything if I felt like it. Never stolen anything though.

_blank_

Pens and printer paper from work.

thelordofcheese

i'd like to steal the keys to the boards server room. Just try and ban me then...

peasant

Had a summer job in a bank once.

One day I had to take over the money run from the main office (in an unmarked van)

A cool half million in cash ...your mind begins to wonder :rolleyes:

But how far would you get with half a million on the spur of the moment? Probably just a few miles donwn the road ...never mind out of the country to somwhere where there's palm trees, pretty girls and no extradition.

So I just dropped the money off ...

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4

mawk wrote:

they usually grab the dutch gold too.. and its the furthest form the door so they

if they go to the bother of stealing cans, why steal dutch gold? could they not splash out and steal budwiser or heineken. dutch gold is like dog piss

Sofaspud

mawk wrote:

numina.. that.. hurt.

That's what YORE MA said last night!

(sorry. I'm really very sorry.)

Hypnotoad

So one day I stole a loaf of bread ... put it into the freezer until it was very hard, then robbed a bank with it.

Ibjiba

thelordofcheese wrote:

i'd like to steal the keys to the boards server room. Just try and ban me then...

Or rather your employer's server room, try blocking those sites then!

Z

Id steal your soul

mawk

Jaime Old Diesel wrote:

if they go to the bother of stealing cans, why steal dutch gold? could they not splash out and steal budwiser or heineken. dutch gold is like dog piss

yeah thats my point, they could easily steal any of the actual GOOD beers that we have, and in doing so double their escape chances!! pity they think they actually like the dutch. embarassments to the species.

AlmightyCushion

mawk wrote:

yeah thats my point, they could easily steal any of the actual GOOD beers that we have, and in doing so double their escape chances!! pity they think they actually like the dutch. embarassments to the species.

Let me get this straight. Your proper beer is located closer to the door hence making these beers easier to steal yet they still go for the dutch gold. Talking about the lowest common denominator.

Don1

Is it possible to steal motivation? I'm in really short supply and in desperate need. :rolleyes:

No morals, I'd probably nick anything I fancied.

I also reckon that the Metro will be responsible for a new breed of thief. People head off down the country; "I'm not paying for a foooookin newspaper" yoike

tensecyclist

Food maybe, if situation comes worst I'd prefer to be dead.

Jaime Old Diesel

Jaime Old Diesel wrote:

if they go to the bother of stealing cans, why steal dutch gold? could they not splash out and steal budwiser or heineken. dutch gold is like dog piss

And budweiser isn't?

angelbaby

only things i iv stolen is food from work n batteries (i really needed them and had no money with me!!):o wud never chance stealing anything more than that though and risk losing my job!!!!

I filled all my pockets with cadbury cream eggs a few years ago when I worked in Dunnes. Got about 15. Another guy got fired for munching into a tube of pringles in the stock room.

Collie D

Recently walked out of a garage with two bottles of water because

A) There was at least fifty people in front of me (Acrtic Monkeys had just finished playing)

Only one person serving

C) If the cops were gonna come and start nicking people I think the half a dozen or so people leaving with crates of beer would have been higher on their list

So in summation, yes I'm a silly git. If I was gonna get arrested for shoplifting it could have been for something expensive. Also, shopkeepers, employ more staff when you have the biggest event to hit your town in years, what you save on wages will be lost through thieving scrotes like me

Pigman II

Not a very good photoshop I'd guess?

Look how all the concrete paving stones under the pillars (except for the one directly in the way of the van) are below the level of the other paving stones. Seems to be a dead giveaway?

Macker

Pigman II wrote:

Not a very good photoshop I'd guess?

Look how all the concrete paving stones under the pillars (except for the one directly in the way of the van) are below the level of the other paving stones. Seems to be a dead giveaway?

Did someone steal your brain

Nephew

I kind of stole some chewing gum today. At the till, I placed the packet on top of my neatly wrapped sandwich but it was concealed by my drink. I assumed the woman took for it but when I realised she didn't I wasn't really arsed informing her otherwise. The way I look at it is if the owner can afford to drive a battered 1991 Nissan Micra he can afford to give me free chewing gum.

Jackz

Pigman II wrote:

Not a very good photoshop I'd guess?

Look how all the concrete paving stones under the pillars (except for the one directly in the way of the van) are below the level of the other paving stones. Seems to be a dead giveaway?

I was just about to post on that thread saying it would have been easy to do a better photoshop job on than IFSC van thingy by taking the entire square around one of the other bollards. I could be reading threads on after hours at any hour of the morning when I get a call for work and the space time continuim posting (quoting a thread posted afterwards without editing) made me go to the bathroom and throw water on my face. Oh and sorry for taking this thread slightly off topic, I wasn't the first.

WindSock

I used to steal things from shops the odd time. Not much, just bits and pieces that cost two or so bob. Just for the thrill, really. And because I wanted it and couldnt be arsed paying and everything else is a rip off. I would never steal a personal possesion though. Except maybe cake.

Victor

The last five seconds.

Thrill

boreds wrote:

I used to steal things from shops the odd time. Not much, just bits and pieces that cost two or so bob. Just for the thrill

Lies, i tell ya, all lies.

WindSock

I did. Remember the swedish penis enlarger?;)

Capt'n Midnight

I've been suffering from kleptomania for years but now it's under control. When it gets really bad I can take something for it.

Slutmonkey57b

Sofaspud wrote:

That's what YORE MA said last night!

(sorry. I'm really very sorry.)

NEVER apologise for a Yore Ma joke. It spoils the mood.

Sofaspud

Slutmonkey57b wrote:

It spoils the mood.

That's not what YORE MA said!

(I'm not sorry at all)

Zaph

Deleted User wrote:

I filled all my pockets with cadbury cream eggs a few years ago when I worked in Dunnes. Got about 15. Another guy got fired for munching into a tube of pringles in the stock room.

I worked in Dunnes when I was about 16 (a long, long time ago) and myself and a couple of other guys were responsible for putting all the returns from the checkouts back out on the shelves at the end of the night. We had long storecoats which covered our trouser pockets, so there wasn't a single night any of us went home without a load of chocolate. They checked our bags leaving every night, but never our pockets. In the stock room there was a trolley full of single bottles of beer that had come from broken six packs, and one night myself and another guy smuggled a couple of bottles under our storecoats up to the staff toilets and drank them in the cubicles. We left the empties in the cisterns. It was like it was almost obligatory to elp yourself when working there.