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Help me!! I cant get over my ex!!!!
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20-06-2007 11:43pm#1
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How long were you and her together and what age are you both?
It's tough to answer your questions without knowing the above, but you know, relationships leave people in a fragile state of mind. Any relationship that really ment something to you but ends always feels like the end of the world when you're coming out of it. It's the lack of control over a situation you desperatly want to control but can't.
It messes with your mind. Unfortunatly, there is no cure. Except time.
Just like falling "in love" with someone, it generally occurs because you spend a lot of time together and have lots of fun, it becomes a part of your life, part of your routine.
But also, when you break up, this routine is taken away, this part of your life and you miss it. But just like it drifted in, it slowly drifts back out and you find it easier to move on.
Often at first after a bad break up you don't want to move on, and that's ok, just give yourself time and eventually you'll know you will be happy again with someone else and accept it by letting go.
It's probably one of the hardest situations to deal with in life and unfortunatly some of us have to deal with it more than others, but when it comes down to it and when we do finaly find the person we love and spend our life with, it'll make more the worthwhile.
Don't be hard on yourself and give it time. Surround yourself with friends and activitys to keep your mind off it...it'll pass.0 -
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Take her off your bebo too - the last thing you want is to see her face or feel a desperate need to go clicking on her bebo page to find out what she's doing and what new pictures she has.
Btw, sorry if I'm assuming because you're 19 you have bebo. (but I bet you do
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She's seeing someone else. She has zero time in her life for you, and her affections are being spent in another direction. You will NEVER get back with her. And why the **** would you want to? You'd be as well off skipping women between the ages of 18-21 - they haven't a fcuking clue at that age
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igotthetshirt wrote:I know exactly how you feel - I've just been through it myself. The best thing is to cut all contact. It DOES get easier. Then I found out my ex was dating someone else last night (she felt she ought to tell me so called over). At first I felt numb, then damn upset that she could be with someone so soon after me. But you know what? I feel f***ing empowered today. I'm kind, clever and as I've been told numerous times quite a looker. I've got good friends and for the time being that's all I need. But hey, both you and me will find women better suited to us. And you know what? We'll probably go through this all again numerous times so we're learning from this! It's a good thing my heart was ripped out! Say it with me!
This is f***ing brilliant, im a chick in the same situation and i felt better just reading this
OP, time definately helps to heal, it doesnt matter how long you're with someone or what age you are whatever you feel is valid. That said, 3 weeks is a short time and if you cared for your ex (and i believe you did/do) then give it more time. Some people appear to get over ex's a lot faster but they probably never cared about the other person in the relatioship at all. Call up your mates, do some fun stuff and find yourself again.
Take care
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭
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You'll lose a lot more by losing yourself. Maybe the whole counselling dealio is the thing. Just remember that you will look back at this and wonder why you thought so much about it and invested so much emotion over so little. I know that sounds strange but it's true.
I hate to raise this again and you probably don't want to hear it. In fact you're most likely blocking it a little, but the fact is this person, the one that you were basing so many hopes and a future on, took less than 24 hrs to jump on someone else. That's a fact. No way to paint it different. The fact is she didn't invest the same feelings in this relationship as you did/do. She didn't love you. Hate to say it but it's true. If she had she wouldn't have jumped someone else so soon after. You're projecting how you feel onto her. Big mistake. She obviously didn't feel the same way. If she had she would have tried to make it work. She would have tried to overcome her parents objection, She wouldn't be now with someone else. She didn't do any of those things.
No matter whether it's 6 months or 6 years those principles hold true. Now why are you the broken one here? I mean she's off with this other guy, probably happy and having fun, yet here you are fretting and moping over the loss. She isn't(other than feeling guilty about you). Of course she isn't. If she was she wouldn't be making future plans with the new man in her life. Why take second best? Sod that. You should the guy that women look at their BFs and go why am I with him.
At the moment it's all raw and new to you. You've invested in someone that as it turns out was an unwise investment. Learn from this and move on. It'll be hard, but first thing you must do is completely drop all contact from her and to her. The B'day thing was a mistake in my opinion. Hey it happened. We all fúck up at times like this. You're panicking at the moment and in panic we all of us do silly things. Let her go.
Look if you truly loved her, her happiness would be what you would be thinking about. At the moment you're thinking about your loss. You're not really thinking about her(though you are pretty sure you are). You're not really thinking about your longterm emotional health either. You are the most importnat thing now. Her new life is taking care of itself.
The real fact is you can do better. You can find someone who will love you for who you are. You can only do that if you leave this fantasy of this woman behind you.
How do you do this? Simple. Really truely want for her happiness. With or without you. Really truly think about your happiness and what you want for you in your life. Realise you don't need someone, especially someone who hurts you like this. Realise that making you the best man you can be is the best way forward and the best way to ensure that when the special woman crosses your path you will appreciate her, because you appreciate yourself.
I got a mate and she's going through what you're going through at the minute sooooo. Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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