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I got her little sister the morning after pill

  • 20-06-2007 1:29pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Background: I hang around in a huge groupa girls all about 18-19, lovley girls, really sweet but very conservative in ways. Most of them are the type that want to be "in love" to have sex etc and its a really big deal.
    Now i'm nothing like this but we've been mates years n they all accept me for who i am blah blah. i dont get on particually well with my own family and as a result am quite close to a number of their siblings.
    The younger sister of one girl in particular always chatted to me when i was over and we'd text etc too- shes sorta like a younger sis to me to in ways i guess. She's just gone 15 last month btw. Now while she'd often have asked me for clothing advice or bitched about friends etc she never really told me anything serious until bout 2 weeks ago.

    She text me wishin me luck in the leaving n asked me if i could spare a few minutes would i meet her by the woods near their estate. i called her askin what was up and she sunded close to tears so i called down to met her. Told me a condom had broken n she was freaked out up until this point hadnt occured to me she was even having sex!
    now shes 15 so no doc would give her the morning after and her parents are REALLY strict- don't actually allow them to have boyfriends until they leave school. I felt sorry for her so when se begged me to gte the morning after for her i lied and told d doc it was for me.

    Now i no sum1 whos jus gone 15 is too young to have sex but i figured better den gettin a kid ryte...I warned her to be careful after but I was in a similar positon at her age so i cant be too much of a hypocrite! But i was flabbergasted when i asked her who the guy was- I no him and hes older than me!!! I know the guy and hes a real player, generally bad news (likes the drugs, gets in minor fites in clubs etc) and someone her sister for one wold definately be tryin to avoid herself never mind acceptin her little sister is ****ing him!

    I know he's using her (long history there) and I'm scared she really likes him and is goin to get hurt! I tried to give her advice but shes gone realy cold (as i said before i was no angel at her age)

    Now im feelin really guilty.
    If her sister found out I knew all this she'd freak and i feel like im betraying her having got her the morning after. (She's actually a virgin herself like!) Yet if i tell her i feel i betray the younger sisters confidence...
    wat to do????


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,323 ✭✭✭Savman


    You did right thing, teens are up one day and down the next so dont expect any thanks whatsoever. You could make it clear you will not be a doormat if she chooses (big word) to meet this fella again and do something stoopid, again. You bailed her out once, she has to start acting like a grown up, thats the whole point of teenage years.
    I wouldnt worry about the older sis, the right thing in this instance was to get the younger one out of serious life changing trouble but maybe it wouldnt be a bad idea to spill the beans because in the end only her family can watch out for her. If she does get preggers, you dont want it on your conscience that you coulda acted but didn't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 303 ✭✭G&T


    Tell the girl that it was a once off and you wont be helping her out that way again.
    if she feels she is old enough to have sex there is nothing you can do or say to stop her.
    This guy is obviously very smooth and she is buying every line he uses.
    She will learn the hard way when he dumps her,which he will.

    Hopefully this was enough of a scare to make her more careful next time.

    Say nothing to the older sister,she is unlikely to hear it from her baby sister given they are not close.

    I think you did the right thing,let her know her relationship with the guy is not cool and she is just a notch on his bed post.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    OPk first off this forum does not tolerate textspeak please use the keyboard infront of you.

    At 15 some dr will prescribe that morning after pill and the contraceptive pill or she could have went to the ifpa and fudged her age.

    There are dangers and side effects to the morning after pill which is why a dr needs to check a woman before prescribing it, she could have had a few bad reaction to it. Prescription pills are that way for a lot of good reasons.

    If she has of gone into the ifpa her slef they would have sat her down and gave her a contraceptive coundelling session, infact I think you should encourage her to do that if possible with
    the irish family planning centres or the well woman centres which ever she chooses or is closest too.

    As for her who she is dating, well honestly I would mention it to her sister, that you saw them out together and leave it go from there.

    Some people have to learn the hard way tbh and you did what you tought best at the time and if she does ever try to turn against you and say you got her the morning after pill it is not like she can prove it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 322 ✭✭boffin


    In terms of getting her the morning after pill - as an older sis I would be happier that she had gone and gotten that then her life being ruined by a pregnancy at 15. You did the right thing.

    In terms of this fella - why don't you tell the younger sis the story of the long history and maybe she'll see what he is like? If she is anything like mine twas when she was younger tho she prob won't listen!!

    If that wasn't to work and that was my sister involved I would be straight over to his and tell him that I would be getting her parents to press charges against him if he goes anywhere near her again. She is underage. If he is looking for a quick shag then this is causing just way too much trouble than i'm guessing he is willing to put up with.

    I think you should tell the older siter tho that you heard she is hanging around him (maybe not the full story). If she is like what I think she is from your description her then this will be enough to worry her to an keep an eye on her younger sister at home.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 346 ✭✭Shellie13


    boffin wrote:
    In terms of getting her the morning after pill - as an older sis I would be happier that she had gone and gotten that then her life being ruined by a pregnancy at 15. You did the right thing.



    I think you should tell the older siter tho that you heard she is hanging around him (maybe not the full story). If she is like what I think she is from your description her then this will be enough to worry her to an keep an eye on her younger sister at home.

    you were rite to get it (hope i don't get in trouble for saying that here!)
    her sister might not see that either way id keep it to myself- does she HAVE to know?!

    ye dats a good idea boffin-sayin sex etc-theres stautory rape charges etc-way too messy! neither will thank you for it-sad fact but it'd do more harm than good if she found out!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 289 ✭✭louisecm


    I don't think you did the WRONG thing, but I don't know if it was right either. I think it is best for someone in her position to take the MAP if thats what they want, however, you would have been better off taken her to the IFPA or the Well Woman clinic where she would have been able to get it herself and could also have gotten some good advice on contraception and personal responsibility from a mature and informed source.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    You did the right thing in my opinion.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Tell her you won't be helping her again by getting the morning after pill but encourage her to go to her local Family Planning Clinic and get her to start taking the pill as well as using condoms. If she thinks she's old enough to be having sex then she's old enough to be responsible....and what if your friends are all virginal? Better than putting it about when barely out of diapers imo.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    You did the right thing so far.
    But the next step is just as important.

    Do you think it's OK for a guy older than 19 to be taking advantage of a girl who has just turned 15... Well I don't and if I found out it was being done to someone I knew I'd do something about it...

    What are you gona do about that?
    I sure hope more than 'advise' her not to see him again...
    At the minimum you should make the sister aware (in some way that doesn't shine that light on you perhaps)


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