problem with roommates mates.

LegacyUser

me and my friend moved out of our parents houses about 5 months ago now and we were renting a place, a really nice place in a classy area. everything is grand with this guy, he is sound and funny and for the most part, looks after the place good.

However there is a problem with his mates. This has happened before and my friend knew i was angry at some of his mates behavior in this place in the past.

my friend had a bit of a party on friday, him and his mates came over with bbq stuff and 4 of the dirtyist looking skanger youngones you have ever seen

im chatting away to one of the lads and the bbq is going there and apart from these dirty looking youngones everything is grand. about 10oclock i get really sleepy so i tell my mate im going to bed for a bit and i might be out later

so i walk into me room and put me head down about an hour into this dose, i hear all this screaming, but it hasnt really woken me up, its just there, screaming. this is all i hear and then running around like mad. then one of the ho's comes screaming into my room and someone throws a can of shaving cream in after her nearly hitting my monitor

While im getting my head together and just about to get up and to go out and confront my friend about this another skanger is banging on me door so i lose the head and shout f*ck off. i rings my mate and start screaming at him, im not sure what i said to him but i went mad, now im not sure if that made them leave or something my mate did.

im not 100% sure what happened after that because i went back to sleep but i heard all his mates just leave and one of them kicked and punched on the front door on the way out. The next morning, the place is bits, cans, ashtrays and shaving cream everywhere, i made a cup of tea and went back to bed. My friend cleaned it all up and when i told him i wasnt happy about the intrution into my room, he said i overreacted.

My room is my room and my friend doesnt seem to realise this and lets his mates do what they want. They dont seem to have any respect for the place (its a flop house to them) and my room. This is the second time someone has come into my room while i wanted to be alone.

Glowing

Well i'm sure your mate wasn't happy having to clean up the mess on his own, he might have learnt the hard way.

Oh, get a lock for your door!

dudara

When living in shared accommodation, always lock your room.

It's not being paranoid, or secretive, it's just protecting your privacy and belongings.

Jack Bauer999

roommateproblem wrote:

me and my friend moved out of our parents houses about 5 months ago now and we were renting a place, a really nice place in a classy area. everything is grand with this guy, he is sound and funny and for the most part, looks after the place good.

However there is a problem with his mates. This has happened before and my friend knew i was angry at some of his mates behavior in this place in the past.

my friend had a bit of a party on friday, him and his mates came over with bbq stuff and 4 of the dirtyist looking skanger youngones you have ever seen

im chatting away to one of the lads and the bbq is going there and apart from these dirty looking youngones everything is grand. about 10oclock i get really sleepy so i tell my mate im going to bed for a bit and i might be out later

so i walk into me room and put me head down about an hour into this dose, i hear all this screaming, but it hasnt really woken me up, its just there, screaming. this is all i hear and then running around like mad. then one of the ho's comes screaming into my room and someone throws a can of shaving cream in after her nearly hitting my monitor

While im getting my head together and just about to get up and to go out and confront my friend about this another skanger is banging on me door so i lose the head and shout f*ck off. i rings my mate and start screaming at him, im not sure what i said to him but i went mad, now im not sure if that made them leave or something my mate did.

im not 100% sure what happened after that because i went back to sleep but i heard all his mates just leave and one of them kicked and punched on the front door on the way out. The next morning, the place is bits, cans, ashtrays and shaving cream everywhere, i made a cup of tea and went back to bed. My friend cleaned it all up and when i told him i wasnt happy about the intrution into my room, he said i overreacted.

My room is my room and my friend doesnt seem to realise this and lets his mates do what they want. They dont seem to have any respect for the place (its a flop house to them) and my room. This is the second time someone has come into my room while i wanted to be alone.

Im guessing this is probally the first place you rented seeing as you moved
from your parent house, In every house there are things people u share with do that will annoy you. They may be sound 99% of the times but there's always somebody in the house that does stuff that annoys you. Ive learned
from years of renting places that there's no point getting worked up,

You just need to relax, ask your friend to not let it happen again and buy a lock for your door.

louisecm

I thought you were going to say that he had left the apartment in the shocking state, or stuff had been stolen! To be honest, while I'm sure it was unpleasant, you were having a party and it wasn't that late. They shouldn't have barged into your room, but these things happen at parties. Previous posters are right, lock your door and try to relax a little otherwise you'll never be happy in shared accomodation.

Mighty_Mouse

4 of the dirtyist looking skanger youngones you have ever seen

After this I was sure the story would clarify how they had robbed the place or something!
A little on the snobbish side.
Fair enough nobody should come into your room.
Shouldn't be screaming and roaring etc etc

But it was a drunken party which was cleaned up before you had gotten out of bed properly the next day.

From the screaming abuse down the phone to the whole confrontational tone of your post I would think you're a little high-strung.

Get a lock for your door and try relax. If you cant stick it maybe consider moving some place less crazy

Duggy747

1) Get a lock for your door if you're concerned that much about it.
2) Stuff like this happens all the time, eventually your housemate and "his" mates (who, if you don't know already, you'll get to know more than likely) will respect your privacy.

I know lads who lived in a complete nut house but they drew the line on respecting each others privacy.

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Thanks for all the advise. I was talking to him again about it last night. we both agreed that it was unacceptable that it happened and he said it wont happen again (same thing he said after the first time). He also said that he realized his mates are putting him in a bad position (he knows he is responsible for his mates) and he knows i have no problem with him or his mates having a good time (though not at my expense).

The problem is not with my roommate himself, its just with one or two of his mates. This one lad, lets call him Gary, hes about 21 and majority of the time sound. However I have seen this a few times now, when he is around a lot of lads or even some girls he just goes over the top. He kinda organized this party by telling my roommate that the "girls" wanted to come over some night. I thought it was a bit rude to be inviting people over to our place without letting us know first.

The first time, they had been in a pub some thursday night and they came back to our place. i was in my room at the computer, working away when they came in. A few minutes later I could hear Gary shouting from the sitting room, "come on girls, i will give you the grand tour." (i always thought the people living there should do that?) and then, directed the two girls into my room saying it was my roommates room.

He doesnt seem to have any respect for the place when he comes over, (feet up on the tables, his rubbish thrown anywhere, etc. even though my roommate tells him not too) and this seems to be annoying me the most. I was once told by him, when they had all come back from the pub and i was waiting for something to come on the TV, "we're not watching that." He was so close to getting punched it was crazy.

My roommate tells me that its all a joke and not to listen to him when he talks sh*t like that. But it is disturbing that in your own home someone talks to you like that, maybe i am from a different type of family were you wouldnt talk to people like that. I didnt take notice and you will be happy to know I watched Sopranos in front of him. If you had somebody in your place acting/talking like this what would you do?

As I said, its the only when hes around his groupies that hes like this. Otherwise i wouldnt say a bad word about the chap.

Slow Motion

roommateproblem wrote:

Hi guys,

Thanks for all the advise. I was talking to him again about it last night. we both agreed that it was unacceptable that it happened and he said it wont happen again (same thing he said after the first time). He also said that he realized his mates are putting him in a bad position (he knows he is responsible for his mates) and he knows i have no problem with him or his mates having a good time (though not at my expense).

The problem is not with my roommate himself, its just with one or two of his mates. This one lad, lets call him Gary, hes about 21 and majority of the time sound. However I have seen this a few times now, when he is around a lot of lads or even some girls he just goes over the top. He kinda organized this party by telling my roommate that the "girls" wanted to come over some night. I thought it was a bit rude to be inviting people over to our place without letting us know first.

The first time, they had been in a pub some thursday night and they came back to our place. i was in my room at the computer, working away when they came in. A few minutes later I could hear Gary shouting from the sitting room, "come on girls, i will give you the grand tour." (i always thought the people living there should do that?) and then, directed the two girls into my room saying it was my roommates room.

He doesnt seem to have any respect for the place when he comes over, (feet up on the tables, his rubbish thrown anywhere, etc. even though my roommate tells him not too) and this seems to be annoying me the most. I was once told by him, when they had all come back from the pub and i was waiting for something to come on the TV, "we're not watching that." He was so close to getting punched it was crazy.

My roommate tells me that its all a joke and not to listen to him when he talks sh*t like that. But it is disturbing that in your own home someone talks to you like that, maybe i am from a different type of family were you wouldnt talk to people like that. I didnt take notice and you will be happy to know I watched Sopranos in front of him. If you had somebody in your place acting/talking like this what would you do?

As I said, its the only when hes around his groupies that hes like this. Otherwise i wouldnt say a bad word about the chap.

Then maybe you should have a word with Gary and just say "listen this is my place too and if you can't/won't respect it then don't come round !", you might want to let your mate know you're going to do this first, but if it's one individual that is causing the most problems then deal with him directly and he might get the message. That's what I would do and if it didn't work I would become a little more direct and say to get the fcuk out any time he shows up in no uncertain terms.

Duggy747

Slow Motion wrote:

Then maybe you should have a word with Gary and just say "listen this is my place too and if you can't/won't respect it then don't come round !", you might want to let your mate know you're going to do this first, but if it's one individual that is causing the most problems then deal with him directly and he might get the message. That's what I would do and if it didn't work I would become a little more direct and say to get the fcuk out any time he shows up in no uncertain terms.

Exactly, your house - your rules (as well as your roommates) I wouldn't mind the rubbish as long as it's minimal (crisp packets, fast food; better in your bin than out the front of your house) but as for the TV thing?

Gary: "We're not watching that!"
You: "Okay!"
*Turn volume up*

davyjose

Duggy747 wrote:

Gary: "We're not watching that!"
You: "Okay!"
*Turn volume up*

Exactly, or:
Gary: "We're not watching that!"
You: "Damn right your not - now get the f*ck out of my house"
*Turn volume up*

Ishmael

Gary: Were not watching that!

Response: Yes i am and if you don't like it, bring your own ****ing telly the next time!!!

This Guy Sounds like one of these over confident arrogant c*nts.
I'd say, ask your friend to tell him to calm it down a bit the next time.

If he gets out of line, tell him directly in front of everybody to cop himself on.

if that doesn't work, tell him to go to hell and get fudge out.