Chat up lines

Enright

Ok, trying to get some discussion going here. Do you use chat up ot pick up lines? Do they work? Have you any funny ones?

Here are some samples!

When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I together.



How was heaven when you left.



Is your dad an alien because their is nothing else like you in this world!



Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.



The only thing I want between our relationship is latex!



Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.



"You look like my first wife" "Really? How many times have you been married?" "Oh I'm still a bachelor"



"I know why Soloman had 600 wives, because he never found you."



Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes!



You look like the type of guy/girl who's heard every line in the book...so what's one more?



Is it hot in here or is it you?



Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?



Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.



Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.



As she's leaving.......Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!



Didn't I used to always pull on your ponytail in grammar school?



What's your favourite colour?



I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?



Excuse me, do you mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember your face for my dreams.



If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?



I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for an experience.



Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.



If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?



Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?



I know milk does a body good, but DAMN...How much have you been drinking?



Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?



I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?



I'm new in town, could I have directions to your apartment.



If you were a pair of pants I'd wear you out!!



I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot



You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.



I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.



Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?



"I want to check your shirt label to see if you were made in heaven."



If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.



I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?



I'm a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke

jacQues

I like all bones in your body, especially mine.

G'kar wrote:

Would you prefer to be conscious or unconscious during mating? I prefer conscious, but I don't know what your pleasure threshold is.

jacQues
(funny hamster)

darkskol

:eek: hah

Steve_o

Ha!!!:D

Wacker

Enright wrote:

Ok, trying to get some discussion going here. Do you use chat up ot pick up lines? Do they work? Have you any funny ones?



Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

As she's leaving.......Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

I like those ones. Cheers!

I know some classic ones myself; some very off colour. I'll add those to the repertoire (sp?).

keltoms

are u jamaican? coz jamaican me crazy!

are u from tennesee?? coz ur the only ten-i-see

Rubber Johnny

How would ya like to go halves on a bastard?

banjopaul

Do you like cheese?
'Cause I'm an easy-single!

Killaqueen!!!

Are you a parking ticket?
Cos you got FINE written all over you!

hotspur

My favourite joke chat up line is:
Hey does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Steve_o

Rubber Johnny wrote:

How would ya like to go halves on a bastard?

Oh dear!!! I heard the before only it was "do ya wanna go halves on a sprog"...

Also "How's your belly for a lodger??"

ShowUsYourXbox

Hi would you like to dance?

and if she says no..

No sorry, i think you misheard me, i said YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS.

Wazdakka

ShowUsYourXbox wrote:

Hi would you like to dance?

and if she says no..

No sorry, i think you misheard me, i said YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS.

Bahaaaaaa

Think Im Gonna Try that tonight...
Ill let you know if i get a smack

mc nuggets

would you mind if i took off your skin and walked around in it:eek:

pyure

my personal favourite:
i might not be the best looking guy here, but im the only one talking to you.

warning - a mate got a shot glass thrown at his head after using this one, proceed with caution

slipss

Heres a few that a freind of mine genuinly uses, I've never laughed so hard as the first night I was out in a club with him.

I was just wondering, are you as good in bed as all those fellas say?

Hey, for a fat chick you sure have small tits.

The drink heres strong isn't it? You starting to look doable.

Do you like jokes? I was going to tell ye one so funny it would make your tits fall off, but it looks like someone beat me to it.

Nice shoes, wanna fukk?

ITT-Pat

Hi there, i've lost my mobile number, can i borrow yours?

And the all-time greatest:

Hi there, you'll do!

Sam Vimes

a bit offensive. there is no be no crying if you get offended at the joke after i warned you that its offensive. thank you, come again.

*walks up to woman*

man: i could have any woman in this place"

woman: oh yeah, how's that then?

man: i'm a rapist

*grabs woman*

drunk_monk

I've personally heard someone say to a girl "You smell nice, have you been Jogging?" Unknown to him her boyfriend was within earshot and nearly decked him!

Fizman

Commander Vimes wrote:

a bit offensive. there is no be no crying if you get offended at the joke after i warned you that its offensive. thank you, come again.

*walks up to woman*

man: i could have any woman in this place"

woman: oh yeah, how's that then?

man: i'm a rapist

*grabs woman*

LOL......nearly fell off my chair in work.
The spoiler tags work well with that one

slipss

Commander Vimes wrote:

a bit offensive. there is no be no crying if you get offended at the joke after i warned you that its offensive. thank you, come again.

*walks up to woman*

man: i could have any woman in this place"

woman: oh yeah, how's that then?

man: i'm a rapist

*grabs woman*

lol genius

mickrourke

Man:"So are you any good at reverse parking?"

Girl: "Yeah"

Man: "Well why don't you (points to groin) back on to this!"

Mr.D.Leprachaun

What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

wba88

All brilliant lads

Tchocky

admiralofthefleet

you look like a generous person, do you want to go half's on a bastard

Tchocky

I hear you're easy

rick_fantastic

hows about ya give me a **** with your lips.......

sd123

Girls love this one
man: are you greek
Girl: no
Man: I thought all goddesses were greek.
Girl: gives man Phone number:)

Not so popular
Man: nice legs, what time do they open at?
Woman: SLAP:D


Man: was ur dad a baker
Girl: yes/no , Why?
Man: cos he baked u a nice pair of buns!!

Man: points at a good looking guy accross the bar and says " my friend over there wants to know if you'll sleep with me"

Man: goes to bar and asks for glass of ice, stands beside girl. He smashes the ice off the bar, and says, can i get ur number now that i've broken the ice!

Wacker

This one is a bit vulgar. You've all been warned!

Guy: I must say, that top looks most becoming on you. But if it were me on you, I'd be coming too!

sikes

in a bar in the states.

man: have you got a bit of irish in ya??

woman: no

man: would you like a bit of irish in ya?

intheknow

Him..you must wash your knickers with windowlene
she...why ?
Him.. Because I can see myself in them...