My bloke is too good looking...

LegacyUser

...and basically I'm just sick of the numerous slappers he attracts. I'm just here to vent I suppose. There's really not much I can do about it, short of insisting he go round with a bag over his head… I've just got a pain in my arse having to deal with some woman on the big-time chase all the time; every time he gets rid of one up pops another. He isnt messing around or anything, he's a decent bloke, but that dosent make it an enjoyable experience to have women flinging themselves at him like this all the time. I suppose at least one person is going to tell me it should bother me since he isnt cheating, but for me that really isnt the point; it's not his response that bothers me, it's their actions.

He works in a job that brings him in contact with the public every day and the behaviour of some of these half dressed slags you really wouldnt believe. Trust me, that can get trying, no matter what your blokes response.

Has anyone else been through this? And if so, I’d appreciate hearing how they dealt with it. Thanks.

CathyMoran

I can relate - I am sick of women hitting on my other half and we are married. Him wearing the ring and talking non-stop about me reasures me. I deal with it by having faith in my husband, we have been through a lot together (including me being very ill and he is devoted). The other girls who are hitting on your boyfriend are cheap, in the end you are going home with him and that is what matters.

SarahSassy

Maybe they dont know your boyfriend is involved.... Cathy in your case there is no excuse with him wearing a ring and talking about his Mrs

Its childish games on their behalf to see how far they can get imo. They may not be that interested in either of them but see attached men as a challenge and its good for their own ego's if they can 'turn' them. Sad but true.

OP, there is nothing you can do except rant here from time to time when it gets too much for you.

PeakOutput

is he ignoring you to talk to them???? if hes not then who cares? you should take it as a compliment tbh

metrovelvet

Is there any point in getting angry over something you have no control over?

He is accountable to you, not them. Who cares what those silly little twats do.

Weren't his looks something that drew you to him also?

funloving

hi,
my bf is very goodlooking and sexy and he deals with the public as well..
you're not the only one who is so annoyed by all the halfnaked girls who don't care if he can have a girl or not...
The only thing we can do is to hope our boyfriend is loyal and doesn't cheat on us..that's something is up to him and we can do nothing about it...unless we move to a desert isle where there is nothing but sand,palm trees and monkeys...would i be jealous of the monkies too?maybe
Seriously speaking, the only thing i can tell you is to put up with it and always be goodlooking and attractive so that you will put him in a condition where other guys can do the same thing to you..
If he chose YOU and no one else there is a reason,try to focus on this..
Guys are weeker than women and it's easy they can't resist to a temptation,especially if this temptation is a girl showing her boobs or her ass or flirting with him..BUT if he really loves you,he will do nothing.

AnonoBoy

I used to go out with a ridiculously attractive girl (far too attractive for me!) and believe me it's 10 times worse for a guy going out with a stunning girl. Guys would hit on her when she went to the shop for milk, when she was in paying the ESB bill, everywhere. Random guys in pubs would give me abuse just because I was with her.

G&T

Think you should do your best to ignore it.

What ever you do dont let it cause arguements.
I once went out with a guy who would give me the silent treatment on a night out if a guy gave me a look or came to chat while bf went to the loo.

Its not him thats to blame some women are just ignorant bitches whom he wouldn't touch if they served themselves to him on a plate.

You could always try putting a paper bag over his head when ye go out.....

Jumpy

I wouldnt let it bother you. Be proud that he is yours
I have that problem as well though, my girlfriend has the patience of a saint when I politely refuse the women that keep coming up to me*



*may not be true

brianthebard

Omg I bet you never flirted with guys when you were single op...

KTRIC

Get him to carry a large pointy stick. In my young free and single days I had to beat the women off me*, and I found the pointy stick worked a treat.

I didn't hit them with it, they just thought I was a bit crazy. Or you could break his nose and make him slightly less good looking.




*may or may not be true, depending on who's reading.

Rb

brianthebard wrote:

Omg I bet you never flirted with guys when you were single op...

Exactly.

This rant/gripe is pathetic.

PeakOutput

funloving wrote:

Guys are weeker than women

ehhh???

B.O.*.*.O.X

of my fella mates only one has done the dirt ever none of the other would even give it a second thought i know at least 3 girls who do the dirt regularly

I would bet quite alot that the percentage of cheating females to males is very close if not exactly the same

SarahSassy

rb_ie wrote:

Exactly.

This rant/gripe is pathetic.

Its not the only thing thats pathetic..... OP, you either trust him or you dont. Do you have a small insecurity issue????

LegacyUser

Your bloke is not too goodlooking, your just mentally weak and your insecurities are surfacing.

Solution: Relax.

LegacyUser

brianthebard wrote:

Omg I bet you never flirted with guys when you were single op...

Why do you assume they are single? Granted, some of them may be, he dosent get to know them so I suppose we'll have to guess the ratio of single women vs those with boyfriends, but he's had women give it loads to him while wearing engagement rings, wedding bands, the lot, so there's no mistaking their status in those situations, and there've been plenty of them. God love their fiancés and husbands, is all I can say. As to whether men or women are the worst offenders when it comes to infidelity, I'd reckon the ratio is about average in this day and age.

For the person who reckoned my "rant/gripe" is "pathetic", perhaps you cannot empathise with the situation because you've never gone out with someone who's very attractive; I'm coming to that conclusion because surely anyone who has done will have experienced this for themselves.

As for "insecurity issues" - I'll refer that poster back to my original post. You must have missed the points I made where I stated that I know my bloke (of five years) is faithful, and my issue is not with his response, but rather with their relentless sexual advances. Is there any person on here who can honestly say that wouldnt have gotten trying over the span of five years??

One poster asked did his looks not play a part in attracting me to him. That's a good point, and yes, of course they did, but the crucial difference is that he was single at the time.

Thanks everyone for responding with your thoughts (except for the nasty comments, which you can shove I neednt tell you where)

Marksie

OP: what exactly is your issue here? or is this just a rant as you say?

You cannot do anything about others reaction to your B/friend. if you B/friend is ignoring it well and good.
It is therefore your reaction you have to moderate
Could you clarify what advice you are asking?

Cake Fiend

funloving wrote:

Guys are weeker than women and it's easy they can't resist to a temptation

When you've grown up a bit (plus learnt schoolkid-level grammar and spelling), you'll realize what a ridiculous statement this is.

chump

My girlfriend no doubt harbours the same concerns as you sickofslags, no doubt justified.
Unfortunately I don't think there's anything that can be done - you just need to accept it and not become embittered towards these 'slags'. Afterall they're just girls.

Being attracted by a strong, masculine, sexy chap is no crime and pinching the bottom and flirting outrageously is just part of the game. Don't worry about it. Keep your man happy and he won't stray.

brianthebard

sickofslags wrote:

*load of transferance and hiding of insecurities

Look have any of them asked your bf for a shag? Have any of the one's with rings actually asked for his number or set up a date? You need to relax the panties, half your posts come off like you are hugely insecure, but veil it in a contempt for the women involved, while the other half seems like boasting, a la "My bf's so hot, its such a bother sometimes". Flirting is an innocent activity, I flirt with just about any girl that's in any ways attractive. Its not a big deal, unless of course, your boyfriend is just too good looking for his own good.:rolleyes:

Marksie

Cake Fiend wrote:

When you've grown up a bit (plus learnt schoolkid-level grammar and spelling), you'll realize what a ridiculous statement this is.

Cake fiend: Funloving is italian.

Keep it civil

LegacyUser

chump wrote:

Don't worry about it. Keep your man happy and he won't stray.

Exactly, keep him happy and comfortable and he is yours! That's all I ask for! If my girlfriend keeps me happy by just being there for me, loyal, flexible and not selfish, then I'm happy and in return, I will do anything for her!

Rb

sickofslags wrote:

For the person who reckoned my "rant/gripe" is "pathetic", perhaps you cannot empathise with the situation because you've never gone out with someone who's very attractive; I'm coming to that conclusion because surely anyone who has done will have experienced this for themselves.

Yes, I have. However, I, unlike yourself, don't have these little insecurities that result in me moaning at people on the internet.

OP wrote:

As for "insecurity issues" - I'll refer that poster back to my original post. You must have missed the points I made where I stated that I know my bloke (of five years) is faithful, and my issue is not with his response, but rather with their relentless sexual advances. Is there any person on here who can honestly say that wouldnt have gotten trying over the span of five years??

As has been said, there's nothing you can do about it so either like it or lump it.

Rb

SarahSassy wrote:

Its not the only thing thats pathetic.....

Yeah, your grammar is too.

I still maintain that the OPs attitude or reaction to the situation is absolutely pathetic, God help the men that end up with these kind of women.

Jotter

i used to have this problem with an ex, it didnt happen all the time but when it did id be going mad. I became insanely jealous as a result and looking back it was all ridiculous. Ok so he was good looking and others fancied him but so what. One nite i had a freak attack bec some bird was sitting on his lap, he wasnt cheating and she was a friend of his (she was known as a slapper tho) and i saw red and made a show of myself - DONT DO THAT I cringe now when i think of it!

my husband on the other hand is good looking and charming etc and yes the girlies love him. He has his own company and took me with him yesterday to do a bit of work. We didnt let on to be married or even involved, business is separate to home, and theres a girl he regularly does business with and she was all touchy feely, flirty etc but to be honest I was more amused than annoyed!
i trust him, i know it doesnt matter if others flirt with him or even if he flirts back, i take it as a compliment.

I know it wrecks your head but try not to let it - you cant control what others do and the more you try or let it get to you the more the little green monster will take over and before you know it youre a psycho!! Youre better than that surely

LegacyUser

brianthebard wrote:

You need to relax the panties, half your posts come off like you are hugely insecure, but veil it in a contempt for the women involved, while the other half seems like boasting, a la "My bf's so hot, its such a bother sometimes". Flirting is an innocent activity, I flirt with just about any girl that's in any ways attractive. Its not a big deal, unless of course, your boyfriend is just too good looking for his own good.:rolleyes:

You've made a lot of assumptions here, and some of them are not worth responding to. I will answer these for you though:

brianthebard wrote:

Look have any of them asked your bf for a shag?

Yes, very directly.

brianthebard wrote:

Have any of the one's with rings actually asked for his number or set up a date?

Well they haven’t “set up a date” because that’s not going to happen, but yes, again, of course; they’ve asked for his number with the intention of setting up a date. Do you assume I'm coming on here with this because of the odd woman fluttering her eyelashes? I'm a grown woman, not a little girl, and I've been dealing with this for five straight years. I think it'd be nice for a person to be able to bring this (or any) issue to an internet board without being flamed for the sake of entertainment. You put up with this for half a decade and tell me how YOU feel about it...

I could rattle off far more individual situations than I could even be bothered to, but here are a couple of the most recent ones: One night he and I were having a few drinks in our local pub and a woman who knows one of my bf's brothers plonked her arse down beside us and spent a half hour chucking peanuts straight into his face before we gave up the ghost and decided to leave.. I'm not about to let myself down by carrying on in my local pub because of the antics of a drunken woman who hasnt been shagged often enough, so we just left. Whatever it is about women and pubs, we had another one spraying him with an aerosol the moment I went to the toilet a few weeks after that... then there were the incessant phonecalls that would come at all hours of day and night from a woman who managed to procure his phone number from a workmate of his. She had all sorts of filthy comments to make, including some very derogatory comments to make about me in particular. ALL of these women knew he was involved, so, contrary to some peoples opinions (including yours) we are not talking about women who assume he is single here. That would be a different situation and not anything I’d resent to the degree that I do this.

Anyone who wants to assume that I am "insecure" is welcome to go ahead and think it. I'm just surprised there are actually people out there who are willing to presume to tell me what is going on in my own life. :rolleyes:

John Mason

LOL i can relate to you. i was seeing this beautiful man when i was in Oz, he was from england (4 years later we are still the best of friends) but this one girl walked up to me in the toilets and "i dont know what he is doing with some one as fat as you" (i was a size 10 at the time)

remember another ex as few times when we were out girls would literally push me out of the way to talk to him and give him phone numbers, i just laughed, i trusted him totally so there wasnt an issue, we just laughed at it. there was this one christmas do we were at and some girl from his office threatened to box the head off me if i upset him, her and her mates were sitting at the dinner glaring at him all night but it works both ways, he punched some bloke for chatting me up - so its all good fun, just laugh, dont let it get to you

Smellyirishman

rb_ie wrote:

However, I, unlike yourself, don't have these little insecurities that result in me moaning at people on the internet.

I dunno... you've been doing your fair share for the last few days.

OP, if he is faithful and not pursuing them then there should not be a problem. Unless they are doing it when you're right there beside him, that would get annoying.

metrovelvet

Is it only women? or men too?

brianthebard

sickofslags wrote:

You've made a lot of assumptions here, and some of them are not worth responding to. I will answer these for you though:



Yes, very directly.

Fair enough

Well they haven’t “set up a date” because that’s not going to happen, but yes, again, of course; they’ve asked for his number with the intention of setting up a date.

And nothing happened. So why be so ott about it all?

Do you assume I'm coming on here with this because of the odd woman fluttering her eyelashes? I'm a grown woman, not a little girl, and I've been dealing with this for five straight years.

That's not the image you've presented.

I think it'd be nice for a person to be able to bring this (or any) issue to an internet board without being flamed for the sake of entertainment. You put up with this for half a decade and tell me how YOU feel about it...

Im not flaming you, but maybe I should.

I could rattle off far more individual situations than I could even be bothered to, but here are a couple of the most recent ones: One night he and I were having a few drinks in our local pub and a woman who knows one of my bf's brothers plonked her arse down beside us and spent a half hour chucking peanuts straight into his face before we gave up the ghost and decided to leave.. I'm not about to let myself down by carrying on in my local pub because of the antics of a drunken woman who hasnt been shagged often enough, so we just left. Whatever it is about women and pubs, we had another one spraying him with an aerosol the moment I went to the toilet a few weeks after that... then there were the incessant phonecalls that would come at all hours of day and night from a woman who managed to procure his phone number from a workmate of his. She had all sorts of filthy comments to make, including some very derogatory comments to make about me in particular. ALL of these women knew he was involved, so, contrary to some peoples opinions (including yours) we are not talking about women who assume he is single here. That would be a different situation and not anything I’d resent to the degree that I do this.

That's it? That's all they are doing and that's what has gotten you so worked up? Seriously?

Anyone who wants to assume that I am "insecure" is welcome to go ahead and think it.

You are being insecure, its clear from your language. Saying he's too good looking for a start-all your posts suggest that you feel he is too good looking for you, but obviously you wouldn't say that out loud, so you make excuses in the form of other girls flirting. I know you aren't going to accept that, but oh well. Denial is a powerful force.

I'm just surprised there are actually people out there who are willing to presume to tell me what is going on in my own life.

What exactly did you expect to happen? If you didn't want people to reply then you should've blogged it.

G86

Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? If its affecting you this much then you really should talk to him about it. Maybe theres more he could do to make you feel less uncomfortable when this kind of thing happens. I know when I started going out with my boyf that of course I'd go a bit green if chicks hit on him..but nowadays I'd just laugh at it,in fact its a compliment really! You should be proud,your with this great guy who loves you,and they can chat him up in nothing but a thong bikini and he'd still not be interested,cz he loves YOU. Thats the way I see it!

Plus I'm sure it works both ways and you have guys hitting on you too...:p

LegacyUser

Smellyirishman wrote:

Unless they are doing it when you're right there beside him, that would get annoying.

Yeah, that's exactly what's happening; and you're right, it is annoying. Thank you for getting that, one or two people here have tried to make out that it wouldnt bother them. Would be interesting to see them in the same relentless situation...

Thanks everyone else for the supportive comments.

John Mason

sickofslags wrote:

Thank you for getting that, one or two people here have tried to make out that it wouldnt bother them. Would be interesting to see them in the same relentless situation...

it happened to me for two years, it didnt bother me in the slightest, it bothered him when the tables were reversed but so what, if you trust him whats the problem, its part of life build a bridge

BaZmO*

Is throwing peanuts at someone's face a sign that a girl is into you? A girl once threw a coconut at me. Maybe she wanted to marry me?

What did your boyfriend do when the girl was throwing her nuts at him?

Gotta laugh at all the females that are saying that their boyfriends are the bettest looking boyfriends in the whole wide world. You're hardly gonna think he's a minger!

red_ice

rb_ie wrote:

Exactly.

This rant/gripe is pathetic.

yup yup yup!

Everyone has their standards, and if hes hot you can be assured the op is some what good looking too..

Deal with it, blokes do all the time even if their gf is muck.

John Mason

BaZmO* wrote:

Gotta laugh at all the females that are saying that their boyfriends are the bettest looking boyfriends in the whole wide world. You're hardly gonna think he's a minger!

the boy from oz was/is beautiful, he is just so pretty and beautiful, it just isnt fair - the other bloke was nothing speical looks wise but because he was looking at me he had a beautiful happy face which made the girls jealous and they wanted a man to look at them that way

Skiesonfire19

I don't understand why this bothers women! My girlfriend gets like that with me.

But, personally, I love watching guys hit on her! Take it as a compliment, they want what they wont get!

biko

OP, I would prefer if flirty women were not referred to as slags. They are (probably) not.

That is all.

kelle

Skiesonfire19 wrote:

But, personally, I love watching guys hit on her! Take it as a compliment, they want what they wont get!

That's what used to happen when I started dating my husband! I found it ironic that no guys would chat me up when I was young, free and single - yet when I met hubby, guys would try moving in on me as soon as he would go to the toilet! He always took it as a compliment, which was a relief as I couldn't have tolerated it if he was jealous.
I'm not saying I'm "too good-looking" or anything like that (I'm older, more tired now running after 3 small kids!), but it's true that a lot of singletons out there want what they won't get.
Actually OP it sounds like your main gripe is that you can't have a proper evening out on your own with your b/f without acquiring unwanted company, and I can sympathise. I'd suggest going to quieter pubs, which might be boring but at least you'd be more likely to have him to yourself.
The incessant phonecalls are horrible, and I don't blame you for getting upset by that. Your b/f must find it annoying too. If it's any consolation, I can imagine those girls will be mortified by their behaviour in years to come.

davyjose

OP, seems to me you have three options: Learn to control the mind of every girl in the world; dump him; or deal with it.

karen3212

I think this tread shows exactly why women will never run the world.

The attitudes to other women who dress differently, chat a lot, are funloving etc is disgusting.

The other women may be trying to improve their chat-up skills, compete for your man as is natural or drunk or desperate for a man of their own.

OK I think the ones that ask for a phone number are going way too far, and for that I empathise with you.

But calling other women slags, instead of trying to understand that they might be desperate and haven't found the man for themselves yet, is a disgusting attitude.

LegacyUser

biko wrote:

OP, I would prefer if flirty women were not referred to as slags. They are (probably) not.

That is all.

It depends where you draw the line at 'flirty' Biko. It's flirty and only human nature if a woman signals to a man that she is interested in him. But when those 'signals' have become so extreme that she is calling him at 2am asking him to sneak out on his sleeping gf to give her a quick shag, are you (or anyone else here) seriously going to defend actions like that as simply 'flirty'?

I think I'm done with this thread. There are too many people on here willing to jump to assumptions without even taking the time to ask a couple of questions which would clarify whatever they're not understanding about the situation.

Naturally the "insecure" BS was a cert to get thrown around. Actually, as far as my relationship goes, I'm one of the most secure women I know in that I KNOW my partner does not and will not mess around. But then I made that point in my first post - just didnt suit some people to hear it.

Marksie

sickofslags wrote:

It depends where you draw the line at 'flirty' Biko. It's flirty and only human nature if a woman signals to a man that she is interested in him. But when those 'signals' have become so extreme that she is calling him at 2am asking him to sneak out on his sleeping gf to give her a quick shag, are you (or anyone else here) seriously going to defend actions like that as simply 'flirty'?

I think I'm done with this thread. There are too many people on here willing to jump to assumptions without even taking the time to ask a couple of questions which would clarify whatever they're not understanding about the situation.

Naturally the "insecure" BS was a cert to get thrown around. Actually, as far as my relationship goes, I'm one of the most secure women I know in that I KNOW my partner does not and will not mess around. But then I made that point in my first post - just didnt suit some people to hear it.

Do you want the thread closed sickofslags?

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote:

Do you want the thread closed sickofslags?

Yes Please Marksie, it's bad enough dealing with these slappers behaviours without being told I've no right to be put out by it. Thank you.