Excuse me please

KTRIC

Why is it when I say "excuse me" to someone in Dublin they take immediate offence. When you want to pass someone you say "excuse me", it’s as simple as that.

I was verbally attacked in a shopping center recently by 2 OAP's because I politely said excuse me to them when I wanted to pass them on an escalator. They walked after me and told me how rude I was and that I was meant to say "sorry" when I wanted to pass someone!!!

I told them I that you say "sorry" when you are apologising for something and they just couldn't grasp the concept.

Is this just a Dublin thing or is it common all over Ireland??

BTW, I'm a Dub (northsoide)

zuutroy

I'm a northsider and i'd give it a 'sorry'. 'Excuse me' always sounded a bit haughty-taughty to me.

KTRIC

zuutroy wrote:

I'm a northsider and i'd give it a 'sorry'. 'Excuse me' always sounded a bit haughty-taughty to me.

Why ? please explain.

I'm from a normal working class backround, not haught-taughty. I've been told that I have a fairly neutral accent and I certainly don't come across posh or stuck up.

AlmightyCushion

I always say sorry for some reason even though excuse me seems more apt.

Macca07

From Cork, but would always say "sorry" if wanted to pass by someone. Would say "excuse me" in a pub or night club if some tool was standing in the way and was blocking everyone.

Think you have to say different things to different ppl in different places, especially 2 OAPs! Nothing against OAPs by the way

Q_Ball

Its cos you push them out of the way first and apologize on the way past

Kintarō Hattori

Ahh I mix the two and I certainly don't believe that excuse me could be misconstrued as being posh. That's just rubbish.

zuutroy

KTRIC wrote:

Why ? please explain.

No idea really....Maybe it's coz often times when you hear people using it, they're being uppity about something ("Excuse me, I was in the queue first") so I've associated with that.

smcelhinney

Age old problem isnt it? Cant really get your tone of voice from words in a post.

More emphasis put on the last part of the word (the 'cuse') could come across as being brash, abrasive, rude..

Best advice, know your audience. The old dears in question probably would have responded better to a "sorry luv" and a smile..

KTRIC

smcelhinney wrote:

Age old problem isnt it? Cant really get your tone of voice from words in a post.

More emphasis put on the last part of the word (the 'cuse') could come across as being brash, abrasive, rude..

Best advice, know your audience. The old dears in question probably would have responded better to a "sorry luv" and a smile..

I'm a big guy, but I'm quite soft spoken. I know when you over emphasie the "cuse" me it really comes across fairly upitty. I don't so that, I just say it as you would say any other word. I'd even say it quietly so only the person I want to hear it hears it.


It seems that the general populous in Ireland have lost their manners. When someone is polite others take offence because they think that person is putting on heirs and graces.

_feedback_

zuutroy wrote:

No idea really....Maybe it's coz often times when you hear people using it, they're being uppity about something ("Excuse me, I was in the queue first") so I've associated with that.

It does have a certain stuck-up ring to it.

humanji

I usually say "excuse me" and get pretty much the same response. I just don't see how "sorry" is relevant in that situation unless you banged into them or did something you needed to apologise for.

Tar.Aldarion

Excuse me is asking for them to forgive you OP.

Beruthiel

KTRIC wrote:

It seems that the general populous in Ireland have lost their manners.

Ain't that the truth.
These days it's so rare for people to be polite in this country that I actually notice it when it happens.

cson

Meh, just throw them a "Outta the ****ing way old timers!"

KTRIC

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Excuse me is asking for them to forgive you OP.

For what ? I didn't do anything to them

Glowing

I HATE when people say 'sorry', squeeze past you, and don't even look at you. Then you're not REALLY sorry, are you? Tsk.

humbert

most of the time when people say "excuse me" the mean "excuse you" which I think is what most people hear by now.

Oriel

I say, "Sorry, excuse me please".

Tar.Aldarion

KTRIC wrote:

For what ? I didn't do anything to them

Then why are you saying 'excuse me' at all?

6th

I sat "sorry".

KTRIC

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Then why are you saying 'excuse me' at all?

Ah f*ck it then :mad: . Next person that gets in my way is getting a kick in the back of the knee cap.

Q_Ball

KTRIC wrote:

For what ? I didn't do anything to them

No, but you were thinking about it...

Tar.Aldarion

KTRIC wrote:

Ah f*ck it then :mad: . Next person that gets in my way is getting a kick in the back of the knee cap.

How can you kick somebody in the back of the kneecap?

NeMiSiS

I hate escalators. People are so utterly lazy. Big signs please saying "Walk left, Stand Right'. In some countries you would be berated for stand in peoples way on them... Tube in the UK.. NY Subway..

Also.. it's not "Sorry" it's "Sordee"... (d'ya get what I'm at there do ya, do ya !?)
TK

KTRIC

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

How can you kick somebody in the back of the kneecap?

With a lot of force

anniehoo

Oriel wrote:

I say, "Sorry, excuse me please".

Yeh..i say this too and its only now im seein how funny it sounds! Excuse me, can sound quite rude, for whatever reason i dont know as its the correct term to use, so putting sorry in front of it makes it sound better and less offensive..its weird!

Gauge

When I was in the US last summer I got into the habit of having to say 'excuse me' when squeezing past people because 'sorry' would usually be followed by a puzzled expression and 'Oh, it's ok.'

Pherekydes

I'm a northsider and I say "Pardon me", so there.

biko

I say "sorry" as "excuse me" are used by Americans mostly imo. Rarely heard excuse me in Galway, mostly sorry.

Mrs_Doyle

I always say, 'Sorry, excuse me' and I might even throw in another 'sorry' at the end, whenever I am trying to get by someone.

I can't explain why, I just do, I suppose it's just that bit more courteous.

KTRIC

In every other European country they said "excuse me" (local equivalent).

No one has yet to explain to me why it's not accepted in Ireland.

The Hill Billy

To be pedantic for a moment...
"Sorry" implies that you did something wrong. (Which you didn't.)
"Excuse me" or "pardon me" would be be the correct term to use to get someone's attention, such as wanting to pass them on an escalator.

OP - At the end of the day, you attempted to pass them in a mannerly fashion. They were rude by not accepting this.

KTRIC wrote:

I'm from a normal working class backround

Maybe the were shocked to see someone of your status on an escalator. Really, you should know by now that you should have used the staff staircase! Escalators are for the middle classes.

Tar.Aldarion

KTRIC wrote:

In every other European country they said "excuse me" (local equivalent).

No one has yet to explain to me why it's not accepted in Ireland.

It is, I say it all the time.

Actually, I usually say it in french out of habit. Been saying it for six or seven years in french, without thinking about it.

cson

KTRIC wrote:

In every other European country they said "excuse me" (local equivalent).

No one has yet to explain to me why it's not accepted in Ireland.

Probably considered as being pretentious.

Either way I can't understand why you'd apologise (excuse me? for what.) to go past someone anyway. Bulldoze them out of the way. Especially the old people. They can't fight back.

Duggy747

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

I always say, 'Sorry, excuse me' and I might even throw in another 'sorry' at the end, whenever I am trying to get by someone.

I can't explain why, I just do, I suppose it's just that bit more courteous.

Ha Ha, I do the exact same thing and then I just realise "Wait, did I say that right?"

Dyr

just make ambulance noises as you push past them, works for me

Gauge

Gauge wrote:

When I was in the US last summer I got into the habit of having to say 'excuse me' when squeezing past people because 'sorry' would usually be followed by a puzzled expression and 'Oh, it's ok.'

Hah, that made me laugh.

I always say, "sorry, excuse me" as well.

seamus

It's the Irish inferiority complex, but thankfully we're slowly losing it. The Irish say "Sorry" for everything, not just to push by you.

It's the same effect as politely refusing a cup of tea or a drink when it's offered, even you want it. It's polite to refuse the first one, polite for the host to offer again, and polite for the guest to accept then (even if they don't want it). There's very much an "I don't want to rock the boat or cause offence" attitude in Ireland which has been around for yonks.

boneless

KTRIC wrote:

Ah f*ck it then :mad: . Next person that gets in my way is getting a kick in the back of the knee cap.

Try "get outta the way ya coffin dodger" next time...:p

Mrs_Doyle

seamus wrote:

It's the Irish inferiority complex, but thankfully we're slowly losing it. The Irish say "Sorry" for everything, not just to push by you.

It's the same effect as politely refusing a cup of tea or a drink when it's offered, even you want it. It's polite to refuse the first one, polite for the host to offer again, and polite for the guest to accept then (even if they don't want it). There's very much an "I don't want to rock the boat or cause offence" attitude in Ireland which has been around for yonks.

That is exactly what my Dad tells me on a regular basis, you sound just like him.

Forever giving out about how we are a nation of 'suck holes and lick arses'.

Oriel

anniehoo wrote:

so putting sorry in front of it makes it sound better and less offensive..its weird!

No, sorry for disturbing them.

Red Hand

If you are outsider in Dublin, the etiquette is usually,

"Out of my way, plebs!":)

thelordofcheese

seamus wrote:

It's the Irish inferiority complex, but thankfully we're slowly losing it. The Irish say "Sorry" for everything, not just to push by you.

It's the same effect as politely refusing a cup of tea or a drink when it's offered, even you want it. It's polite to refuse the first one, polite for the host to offer again, and polite for the guest to accept then (even if they don't want it). There's very much an "I don't want to rock the boat or cause offence" attitude in Ireland which has been around for yonks.

Ahh, i was wondering why i keep doing that. Mystery solved.

next time i'll say yes right away, then punch them in the throat. Gotta make up for all that false humility somehow.

olaola

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

I always say, 'Sorry, excuse me'

Yeah - I'm the same. I say 'sorry' to get their attention, and then say 'excuse me' as I pass.
If I'm in a crowd it usually just ends up being sorryexcusemesorryexcusemesorryexcuseme...

Jonesy3110

I used to say sorry, but then i was like "what the hell am I apologising for Im not the one getting in peoples way!" So then I started saying excuse me. I see it as a shortened form of "Excuse me, may I get by"

AlmightyCushion

Just push the fúckers onto the road they'll get the idea.

Ruu_Old

Just give them a good hard shoulder and if they fall say "excuse me", otherwise nothing at all and add a smug grin.

I would normally say "excuse me" or "pardon me".

Schlemm

seamus wrote:

It's the Irish inferiority complex, but thankfully we're slowly losing it. The Irish say "Sorry" for everything, not just to push by you.

It's the same effect as politely refusing a cup of tea or a drink when it's offered, even you want it. It's polite to refuse the first one, polite for the host to offer again, and polite for the guest to accept then (even if they don't want it). There's very much an "I don't want to rock the boat or cause offence" attitude in Ireland which has been around for yonks.

That's what it is exactly, but as someone mentioned earlier, we've also lost our manners. So what you get now is all these eejits ploughing their way like there's no tomorrow through a crowd or off a bus or something, apologising profusely, but completely insincerely...:rolleyes:
Seems to be more common in Dublin than down the country too.

robinph

Deleted User wrote:

I always say, "sorry, excuse me" as well.

I would have thought that "Excuse me, sorry" would have been the more correct form.

As in "excuse me" I'm about to come past you so make way, followed by a "sorry" once you have already pushed them out of the way for being too slow.

Dord

I just tell them to fook off! that'll learn them good!