Confused

danteXXI

Ok, I was in a relationship for about 11 months and for the the later half, I wasn't very interested. I was looking at other girls all the time (though I never cheated) and sometimes spending time with my g/f became a drag. She was way more into me than I was into her and she even told me she loved at me at one point...and I didn't reciprocate at all.

So I was finally man enough to break up with her, about a month ago, and we've been still hanging out with our friends, as friends. But now for the the past two weeks, I've been totally obsessed with her. I can't stop thinking about her and what not. I really want her back. I feel crazy or something.
The only thing stoping me from talking to her about it is, what if I 'change my mind' again in a few weeks?
Is this normal?
What the hell am I supposed to do?

Fwaggle

danteXXI wrote:

Ok, I was in a relationship for about 11 months and for the the later half, I wasn't very interested. I was looking at other girls all the time (though I never cheated) and sometimes spending time with my g/f became a drag. She was way more into me than I was into her and she even told me she loved at me at one point...and I didn't reciprocate at all.

So I was finally man enough to break up with her, about a month ago, and we've been still hanging out with our friends, as friends. But now for the the past two weeks, I've been totally obsessed with her. I can't stop thinking about her and what not. I really want her back. I feel crazy or something.
The only thing stoping me from talking to her about it is, what if I 'change my mind' again in a few weeks?
Is this normal?
What the hell am I supposed to do?

Let her go and don't be so selfish - you just want what you don't have. Don't mess her around because you will if she takes you back. From what you've said you don't really care much for her at all...

She's better off without you by the sounds of it.

Macca07

Chances are u will only dump her again in a few weeks, it happened me with a couple of girls, wasn't that much interested in the relationship, dumped her, few weeks later wanted her back, got back together and dumped her again a few weeks after that. Chances are that u only want her now again because u are lonely. I could be totally wrong and u mite totally love her but doubt it really. let it go, move on and get back on the saddle

funloving

before doing anything,analyse your feelings and try to understand whether you are obsessed with her only coz you don't have her right now or because you think she can start seeing somebody else.
People shouldn't play with other persons' feelings...

sorry about my English

danteXXI

Ok but keep in mind I don't have bad intentions.

Caliden

Going out as friends isn't the best idea. You will go crazy if you see any guy chatting her up and you'll feel rotten. My advice would be to go out with your own friends until you're certain you're over her.

louisecm

As other posters have said, chances are this is just a case of wanting what you can't have. Do her a favour and resist temptation.

Wibbs

funloving wrote:

before doing anything,analyse your feelings and try to understand whether you are obsessed with her only coz you don't have her right now or because you think she can start seeing somebody else.
People shouldn't play with other persons' feelings...

Exactly.

danteXXI wrote:

Ok but keep in mind I don't have bad intentions.

Maybe, maybe not. The fact is you dumped her because you weren't that interested. Good there's no point stringing her along. You're only interested now because maybe the grass wasn't greener in singlesville. Maybe as others said you don't want to see here with another. These are not love as they are selfish reasons for getting back. Let her go. If you are meant to be together you may hook up again.

jellie

It might just be a case of habit. you are used to being with her as her bf, now youre still spending time with her but the relationship has to be completely different.

i think for the moment maybe you should try spending less time around her, give both of you a chance to get on without the other person, because it cant be easy for her to spend so much time around you either.

danteXXI

I don't want to play with her feelings, it's not like this is a game to me. I don't think it's a jealousy thing, becasue the thought of her with someone else hasn't even crossed my mind.

How can I tell if this is genuine or just 'grass looks greener etc..'?

BaZmO*

You're into the chase and not her.

You initially chased her, then got her and knew that she was into you and then you got bored and dumped her.

Now that you're not together anymore and you're both still hanging around as friends you're wondering to yourself is she still into you and you want to know would you be able to get her back. The answer is yes you more than likely will get her back. But if she does come back to you it'll just reaffirm that she's really into you and then once again you'll get bored and dump her again.

Your best bet is to leave her be.

sweet-rasmus

it's not just that you might want to get back into a relationship with her. after being with her for 11 months it feels quite strange being single again; it should pass with time. if not... hmmm only you can say. but it sounds as if is the former. you said it yourself, you weren't very interested. it just feels strange being single again; get used to it. a night out with the lads in a club/pub may help you out

Wibbs

sar84 wrote:

It might just be a case of habit. you are used to being with her as her bf, now youre still spending time with her but the relationship has to be completely different.

i think for the moment maybe you should try spending less time around her, give both of you a chance to get on without the other person, because it cant be easy for her to spend so much time around you either.

This nails it for me.

danteXXI wrote:

How can I tell if this is genuine or just 'grass looks greener etc..'?

How would you feel if she met someone who swept her off her feet and made her feel truly loved and it wasn't you? If the answer is yes, you would be happy for her then you probably love her and care for her welfare.

Personally it sounds to me like you want what you can't have anymore. We've all had a touch of that.