Comment on some lyrics?

Frankiestylee

This is a song with about 4 specific parts/rhythms, so it's not all the same all the way through, just incase ye thought I lost the plot.

"Spider Song"

I saw you floating down
From on high
On a web that you wove
Beauty haunting the sky



And you went on your way
But you don't show
The people who go by
What you know

And time it weaves its webs
As daylight glows
And inside your mind
No one goes



Marvelling in your twilight
Marvelling in your dark light
If only for awhile
You'd show me a smile



And when your days are long
And nothing happens in your nights
You can step inside my mind
And bask in strange light

Well you read me better then I can
Or at least that's what you want to think
But If you just smile for me
I'll let you act the shrink



I see you flowing down
And a smile hits my eye
A smile you hide so well
Beauty haunting the sky




If you want to hear it to music it's available at www.cpu.ie/frankiewhelan

Steve_o

Very well written....what sort of music had you in mind for it?? The only bit i didn't like was:

Marvelling in your twilight
Marvelling in your dark light

there's abviously a meaning that makes sense to you, but i just don't get them two lines!!!

Steve_o

Very well written....what sort of music had you in mind for it?? The only bit i didn't like was:

Marvelling in your twilight
Marvelling in your dark light

there's abviously a meaning that makes sense to you, but i just don't get them two lines!!!

estebancambias

I guess it's my turn to comment. I mirror stevo's comment, very well written.

Frankiestylee

Steve_o wrote:

Very well written....what sort of music had you in mind for it?? The only bit i didn't like was:

Marvelling in your twilight
Marvelling in your dark light

there's abviously a meaning that makes sense to you, but i just don't get them two lines!!!

There's a recording of it at www.cpu.ie/frankiewhelan . It's called "Spider Song".

Thanks guys, I'm never sure about my lyrics. I sometimes fear they're layered with personal meaning but lacking for a randomer just reading them.

Ah, those two lines really just mean the same thing really. Just a reflection of the subjects outward personality, I was just trying to give a sense of a dark twist running through the song... trying to balance the darkness with the smileyness :P

Steve_o

Frankiestylee wrote:

Ah, those two lines really just mean the same thing really. Just a reflection of the subjects outward personality, I was just trying to give a sense of a dark twist running through the song... trying to balance the darkness with the smileyness :P

Ah ok, I just listened too it....are you aiming for a Jeff Buckley sort of feel to it??? Thats kinda what i got from it anyway, i could be way off though!!!

Frankiestylee

I'm not really aiming for any feel with it to be honest, I just started messing around with a guitar and eventually it happened.