dad looking up porn

LegacyUser

my dad is looking up porn.i know from the history.he is married with 2 kids,me and my sister.what do ye think of this?to be honest i look it up myself occasionally but i'm not married with kids.do you think i should do something or just leave it?
he also went on a 'golfing holiday' in thailand with 15 friends but i saw he was browsing a forum before the holiday that basically advised westerners on where the best places are for picking up thai girls/prostitutes

dudara

Surely what your Dad does is his own business.

As for the supposed trip to Thailand, you have no proof, just speculation on your part. Is it worth causing turmoil over that?

Peyton Manning

Fairly dodgy that he went to Thailand after looking up that stuff. Talk to him about it - tell him your concerns. If he's innocent and a good father, he will understand your concerns, but frankly, it doesnt look good given what youve told us.

charlesanto

i guess your dad is male ????
SNAP OUT OF IT,

charlesanto

Archimedes wrote:

Fairly dodgy ... that stuff. Talk to him .... If he's innocent and a good father, he will understand your concerns, but frankly, it doesnt look good ....

Crazy talk !

He's your dad, show him some respect !

Peyton Manning

Why is it crazy talk? If you had fairly solid suspicions that your father was cheating on your mother, you would just let it go yea?

the_syco

What age are you, and what age is your dad?

luckat

Maybe you should bring the subject of prostitutes out into the open.

For instance, you could mention that on a radio programme last week, researchers into prostitution were talking about a study they did in Dublin, of men picking up child prostitutes.

They said most of the men were in their 20s and 30s, and had child seats in the back of the car.

They were also discussing the fact that most of the men who go to adult prostitutes can't have satisfactory sex with their wives. (They didn't happen to mention if it was ok for a woman who doesn't have satisfactory sex with her husband to go to a male prostitute, though.)

DaXiS

Don't say anything to him, as long as he isnt doing anything illegal or having an affair, just shut the hell up about it or you will regret it

Blackpitts

ldksjfgh wrote:

my dad is looking up porn.i know from the history.he is married with 2 kids,me and my sister.what do ye think of this?to be honest i look it up myself occasionally but i'm not married with kids.do you think i should do something or just leave it?
he also went on a 'golfing holiday' in thailand with 15 friends but i saw he was browsing a forum before the holiday that basically advised westerners on where the best places are for picking up thai girls/prostitutes

We all come to the day when we discover our parents are not exactly the "heroes" we have in mind.
You dad is a normal person, like u, like me so he can make mistakes!
he is watching porn and maybe there could be nothing wrong with it, 90% of men do the same (also married with kids, you can be sure about that). In this case I suggest to cope on with it and don't make a big issue IF this is not giving trouble to your family.
It's a different story with your suspects about his holidays though...
just have a chat with him and see his reaction. Tell him that this kind of mistakes might ruin a family...

luckat

I wouldn't be inclined to advise anyone to have any man-to-man chats. We don't know the dynamic of the family.

But a *general* discussion when the whole family are around, in the *abstract* sense of the radio programme, might bring the subject out into the open. Not that he's going to say "Hey, guess what, I go to [child] prostitutes" or anything, but it will be less hidden that this exists, which is a start.

AnonoBoy

Ok. Men look at porn. Married/Single/Whatever. Nothing wrong with that.

People are talking about child prostitutes here - the OP didn't mention that. He just said that the internet history showed he had been looking up sites about prostitutes - he didn't state that any of them were underage. So, although this still isn't good, it doesn't mean that his Dad is some manner of paedophilic pervert.

As for the possibility of him sleeping with prostitutes while on holidays. Maybe you could bring it up by explaining to him about internet histories and how it shows what he's been looking up - obivously he doesn't realise that you can see what he's been browsing. Although I'm sure he would deny it, even if he had been with any prostitutes (which we don't know that he was).

Tough situation. But I would advise definitely talking to your Dad first before doing anything further.

Are you even sure that it was him looking at these sites. Could any of his friends have been over and possibly using the net while discussing prostitutes in a male bravado kind of way?

WindSock

Looking up porn for kicks, or indeed meeting with a prostitute is surely not as bad as having an Affair with another Woman?

This Man is your Father, his life may have become boring and monotanous (not your fault) his private desires on the internet are hardly going to break up the Family. You have gone snooping around and now you have found something that makes you uncomfortable. I think it may be best if you just let him alone. If you feel his actions could be going too far where it may hurt your Mother, then step in if you must and have a word to him in private.

marie_85

Men look up porn. Married/single whatever. Plenty of women do too. It's not a big deal. As for Thailand, you have no proof anything went on. Your dad may have just wanted to know what to expect from there as there is a lot of rumours about Thailand and what people get up to. Bottom line, it's none of your business. Look into getting individual profiles set up on your computer so that nobody needs to come across anyone else's individual history.

Carrigart Exile

marie_85 wrote:

Men look up porn. Married/single whatever. Plenty of women do too. It's not a big deal. As for Thailand, you have no proof anything went on. Your dad may have just wanted to know what to expect from there as there is a lot of rumours about Thailand and what people get up to. Bottom line, it's none of your business. Look into getting individual profiles set up on your computer so that nobody needs to come across anyone else's individual history.

Spot on, you can also end up in sites you did not intend going into simply surfing. Don't let curiosity kill the cat.

luckat

Reason I put '[child]' in there was that I've been told by people who visited Thailand that most of the prostitutes are very young.

As for the morality of having an affair versus visiting prostitutes - well, I'd think having an affair was more forgivable! It's falling in love with an equal. Buying sex is a transaction based on power.

As for 'all men look at porn' - I don't think so.

But this is thread creep.

OP, your dad may have been told about the Thai prostitution sites, and might have been just looking at them in a "Holy God, would you lookit that!" spirit. As for his looking at porn, perhaps it depends on the porn. There's a difference between sadistic porn and porn that just shows sex.

The Corinthian

Archimedes wrote:

Why is it crazy talk? If you had fairly solid suspicions that your father was cheating on your mother, you would just let it go yea?

Yes, you would as it's frankly none of your business, it's between him and your mother.

Look at it this way, what are you going to do? Tell your mother? Excellent way to be responsible for your parent's break-up. Tell him off? Fantastic way to alienate your father for the rest of your life.

Bottom line is that no good ever comes of getting involved in your parents relationship.

To the OP: He looks at porn. This is because he has a penis. He has sex with your mother too. Neither of these facts fill any child with a warm fuzzy feeling, but you need to realize that he's just as human as you and move on.

As for Thailand, as has been suggested, you're jumping to conclusions. Perhaps he's just getting his thrills from looking. Perhaps he intends to simply go to some strip joints, but no further. Perhaps he intends to avail of a whore while there, but will bottle out at the last moment (Hell, the one time I was briefly in Thailand I wanted to go to a strip joint, but was too jet lagged and so ended up in bed - alone - by 9pm).

The point being, he's not actually done anything as yet, so you're frankly making a mountain out of a molehill.

Owen

luckat wrote:

Reason I put '[child]' in there was that I've been told by people who visited Thailand that most of the prostitutes are very young.

Anyone who is working in a bar, or generally soliciting has to be over 18 in Thailand. When I was there, there were UK Ex-Pats in their 70s bringing girls home (Which was rather disgusting) and the girls had to leave their IDs at the Hotel door to prove their age. So if 18+ means very young, then yes, they're very young indeed.

seamus

The Corinthian wrote:

To the OP: He looks at porn. This is because he has a penis. He has sex with your mother too. Neither of these facts fill any child with a warm fuzzy feeling, but you need to realize that he's just as human as you and move on.

That's pretty much it.

I think the idea of a parent looking at porn is an even more disturbing thought than them having sex, but it happens. If a man knows somewhere that he can see boobies, and maybe more, then you'll probably find him there at some point.

My Dad watches Men & Motors when my Mum has gone to bed, and he makes no secret of it. Yes that was horrible when it was first said, but I'm in my 20's now, well old enough to realise that my Dad is male just like me, and has exual desires just like me. However much I'd like to think otherwise.

Carrigart Exile

seamus wrote:

That's pretty much it.

I think the idea of a parent looking at porn is an even more disturbing thought than them having sex, but it happens. If a man knows somewhere that he can see boobies, and maybe more, then you'll probably find him there at some point.

My Dad watches Men & Motors when my Mum has gone to bed, and he makes no secret of it. Yes that was horrible when it was first said, but I'm in my 20's now, well old enough to realise that my Dad is male just like me, and has exual desires just like me. However much I'd like to think otherwise.

Can I just say that my mum and dad only had sex three times and that was to have me and my brothers after that they stopped all of that nonsense:D

AnonoBoy

luckat wrote:

Reason I put '[child]' in there was that I've been told by people who visited Thailand that most of the prostitutes are very young.

So you're happy with inferring that the OP's Dad is a paedophile without any proof?

As for 'all men look at porn' - I don't think so.

I'll revise my statement. 99% of men look at/have looked at porn.

giddyup

Sounds like pretty normal stuff. I'm married to a beautiful woman and we have two kids. I am a man. I occassionally watch ladies beach volleyball and sometimes my browsing leads me down strange and curious paths where I encounter 'special' nurses who only wear pvc uniforms and Santa's special lady helpers, the ones with the knee-boots and fishnet stockings.

The only thing that my marriage or the birth of my kids has changed with regard to this behaviour is my fastidious approach to cleaning up browser history. It is in this area that I would be most concerned about your scenario. Take your Da aside and do the right thing. Show him where the delete history button is.

Re the forum - I know it sounds dodgy but I'm sure if you reviewed anybody's browsing history and made assumptions about them your assumptions would probably all be wrong.

WindSock

luckat wrote:

As for the morality of having an affair versus visiting prostitutes - well, I'd think having an affair was more forgivable! It's falling in love with an equal. Buying sex is a transaction based on power.

I think I'd be more upset if I had a husband who made love to another Woman who probably has his phone number too, as opposed to a brief transaction with a stranger. Power to whom? both parties know what they are in for and there will likely be no emotional attachment.

CodeMonkey

The OP should talk to dad and explain about the browser history and how to clean it up. Also the OP should probably mention that he hope dad didn't visit any prostitute in Thailand instead of outright accusing him because OP saw those sites in browser history. Dad will most likely not admit to it because there's no proof but hopefully knowing that OP suspects something will be a good deterrent in the future. If he is visiting prostitutes even with that then it's none of your concern. You've at least done something.

dudara

No more discussion please on the topic of child/Thai prostitutes and the morality thereof. That is an issue for the humanities forum.

dudara

bolliwoodi

so?

i watch porn- i will when im married and no matter how many kids i have ill still do it

my husband can like it or lump it

how do u know he wasnt looking up the site of local prostitutes 4 his mates he was going over with. he could have just been looking up info for them

if hed anything to hide hed have the sense to delete the history