why doesnt he want to know me anymore??

LegacyUser

My ex and i dated for 2 and a half years back when i was 16. We broke up because he wanted to be single but we remained very close friends. We were always together- cried on each others shoulder over bf/gfs- went out drinking together. We were pratically best friends.

When he was 19 his father kicked him out of his house(long story) he had nowhere else to go so i said he could stay with me. It wasnt even something to think about the minute he said "Dad kicked me out" i said "your staying here". So he stayed with me for about 2 weeks-He had no money no clothes nothing so i fed and clothed him and got him fags etc.I didnt care he was a friend in need and i was just happy to help.

After 2 weeks he informed me he was moving up to Dublin to live with his sister cos he didnt want to be a burden on me anymore- i told him not to be silly that he wasnt a burden etc but he left anyway.I arrived home the day he left to find his room empty and a note saying he was gone. I tried to call him but his phone was off.

That was 6 months ago- I called him on the number i had for him the other day as it was his birthday and i wanted to wish him a happy birthday. A woman answered his phone and was very rude and hung up on me. Then i got a call from a private number- it was him. He said his new GF had his old phone and id gotten him into trouble calling him cos she gets v jealous. So i said "Fair enough i was only wishing u a happy birthday" ans he was very short with me and said "Fine ill call u sometime cya" and hung up.

Now i dont know if ive a right to be pissed off here but i am- VERY PISSED OFF IN FACT.

I took him in when he had nowhere else to go- i took care of him and he just walked off out without a goodbye and then acts like i had a nerve trying to wish him a happy birthday. I know he is still in contact with his old mates from this town as i know them and most of them are girls so i know its nothing to do with his GF being posessive.

So why doesnt he want to know me anymore??

Miss Fluff

Ah that's a shame OP. Sounds like he associates you with a bad time in his life. Seemed like he was anxious to go and make a fresh start and a new life and unfortunately probably sees as you as being somehow part of that bleak time, nothing personal imo.

jdivision

You've a right to be pissed off but time to you to move on. If he wants to make contact in future, consider it then. Until that time however I'd try and forget about it. Easier said than done but otherwise you'd just wreck your head. My best mate (unusual for a guy to have a female best mate maybe but we just got on from the day we met) disappeared out of my life three years ago, no reason specified just suddently no contact. We'd been through a lot together and it still hurts me sometimes but I try not to think about it. Having said that I think it was because I had finally told her her boyfriend was a knob. Suppose she felt it was a choice between us even though she knew he had cheated on her and I had seen him chatting up other girls when she wasn't around. I hadn't told her that and she ended up splitting up with him and going on about what an asshole he was so when they suddenly got back together I told her what I thought of him.

LegacyUser

'I was once practically best friends with a guy for a few year. We were in the same class in college, so sat near each other, had lunch together, went out at the weekends. In fact we got on so great, he eventually asked me out. Everything was cool. Then, after 3 months, he decided that, as he hadn't gone out with anyone else+ with dating me, he felt that there was nothing that could make things go wrong (rubbish excuse) so we broke up. I honestly wasn't that bothered. Just glad I still had him as a friend. That was last year... he doesn't want ANYTHING to do with me anymore. He just ignores me+ it's awful, as I have to see him every day in class + on top of that the whole 'group' is messed up.

I don't know why people are so close, then suddenly, things just get messed up... I guess people change. I'm still confused why he doesn't want to be friends... sorry for rambling. So I guess you're not on your own, when it comes to a guy just deciding 'not to be friends' anymore.'

00112984

Hi OP. It's definitely a tough one and a sad situation to be in. I know it's little consolation but you should be thankful that you were only taken for a ride (financially) for 2 weeks. Some women get involved in relationships like this for years.

Presuming you're close enough in age to your ex, you're still young and should chalk this down to experience. I'm sure you'll meet someone nice soon and when your ex comes a-calling when he needs something (I've been there, they always come crawling), you'll be able to tell him where to go.

Firetrap

It's got nothing to do with what you did/said. Sometimes people just go weird, despite them being perfectly nice normal people before this.

I used to have a good friend who I'd known for years. A couple of years ago she got married and moved away. Since then, she's cut off practically all contact with her old friends and didn't even bother to text or email me when my father was seriously ill last year (despite it being beyond doubt that she knew what was going on ). To me, she's no longer a friend and I've stopped sending Christmas cards etc.

I know it hurts that your ex has thrown your hospitality back in your face but all you can do is move on with your life. It's his loss that he's thrown away the friendship of someone who's obviously a good person and was there for him at a tough time. Maybe he might come crawling back in the future, possibly when his harridan of a girlfriend has finished with him. Only you can decide whether to tell him where to go or to forgive him.