Football causing relationship breakdown

LegacyUser

My wife and I are constantly bickering lately over my football playing. So much so, that she has threatened seriously to leave me! To me this seems absolutely ridiculous and I can't see her point at all. She wants me to give up football for good and take up any non-impact sport e.g. swimming, golf etc.

I am going to try and give the facts in an unbiased manner.

I play 5-a-side football twice weekly - non competitive.
I am married for 5 years and have a 3 year old girl.
I am in my mid thirties.
I have had 2 football injuries in the last 6 months both of which have required crutches and a lot of sitting around like a helpless fool!
My wife is due to have a baby very shortly.
I have only one hobby - football and I love the outlet it gives me.
I was playing the 5-a-side for years without any major injuries prior to the recent spat.

That's it. Really simple.

I think she shouldn't be asking me to consider this at all. I acknowledge the timing is poor but it's only a bad coincidence. I know the day will come when I will have to give up but I feel it's a long way off yet. My wife thinks I'm being very selfish and I think she shouldn't be asking me to give up my one sporting activity.

I must stress, we have a very good relationship generally, and this is not her looking for an excuse etc.

Am I being unreasonable by not entertaining the idea of a football-less life? I need to know as obviously I don't agree.

Nevyn

Football-hubby wrote:

My wife is due to have a baby very shortly.

Football-hubby wrote:

have a 3 year old girl

Football-hubby wrote:

I have had 2 football injuries in the last 6 months both of which have required crutches and a lot of sitting around like a helpless fool!

Can you see any reason why the above may be upseting and freaking out your wife ?

Really the fact she has been able to do less and less due to her advancing pregancy and you were not able to be of a lot of assistance to her due to your injury and how she must dread something simular happening and having to cope healing up after giving brith to manage an active 3 year old, a new born and you to tend to as well and be left doing well everything ?

Yes women can get a bit irrational from 8 months but really put yourself in her shoes, hear what her worries are and try and reach a comprimise for both your sakes.

Maybe knock it on the head until the kid is 3 months old, find away to reasure her that you will be there to do things together.

The timing of the injury in reguards to the other factors in your life simply sucks but honestly which is more important your very pregnant wifes stress and blood pressure levels and the child she carries and the health of your marriage ?

A woman is more likely to have post natal depression if she has had to struggle with her pregnancy, so you have to look to her health and the wellbeing of your family.

Would it kill you to knock it on the head until after the kid is born and ye have some sleeping routine ?

zeusnero

Gotta agree with Thaedydal - it doesn't seem like your wife is being unreasonable at all especially in light of the fact that you have had somewhat serious injuries as a result of playing soccer.

Being a guy I understand the need to get out and play soccer, have some fun with your mates but I think you need to put your wife first in this case, at the very least for the next 3-6 months.

You could always take up a non contact sport like tennis in the meantime and that can be just as much fun...

Mr. Presentable

TBH you sound quite inconsiderate, and to her you must seem very selfish. I suggest a compromise - 5-a-side once a week instead of twice.

If you're not playing competitive you shouldn't be getting serious injuries.

Kinetic^

How long do you play for each time? If it's an hour I don't think it's too much to ask that you play for that amount of time.

StormWarrior

It sounds to me like you are the one being incredibly unreasonable. I think its extremely selfish of you. Would it really kill you to quit for a few months? Do you really think it's fair for your poor wife to have to cope with a pregnancy, a kid and an incapacitated husband? I'm not surprised she's thinking of leaving you, if playing football is more important to you than your family. The poor woman must be having a nrevous breakdown at the thought of what she has to cope with.

StormWarrior

Football-hubby wrote:

I have only one hobby - football and I love the outlet it gives me.
I think she shouldn't be asking me to consider this at all.

Maybe it's time you found a new hobby. There are ten million other things out there you could be doing.
And maybe you shouldn't have gotten her pregnant if you weren't prepared to make sacrifices!

Keith C

StormWarrior wrote:

It sounds to me like you are the one being incredibly unreasonable. I think its extremely selfish of you. Would it really kill you to quit for a few months? Do you really think it's fair for your poor wife to have to cope with a pregnancy, a kid and an incapacitated husband? I'm not surprised she's thinking of leaving you, if playing football is more important to you than your family. The poor woman must be having a nrevous breakdown at the thought of what she has to cope with.

Id hate to see your reaction over something serious like an affair, if this is the statement you make over a few hours of footie a week!!
To the op ur missus is prob worried bout u driving her to the hospital in case of emergency & feels another astro injury (ankle, ligaments) would you both stranded.

dr.bollocko

OP I wouldnt worry about it that much, you arent being unreasonable in asking whether or not you can have some free time to play something that you enjoy. You have a right to indulge in healthy active sport if you want to.

Perhaps the season run-in and all the champs league / premiership / cup matches on telly during the last month could have pushed her over the edge? I know I have had to play a few games of couch commandos to catch my season run-in. Perhaps its a combination of the watching it and playing it that means you are slightly over-indulging? To be honest, to suggest that someone is inconsiderate for indulging in a healthy hobby twice a week is really way over the top. And storm warrior's post above, just fit for the bin really. Nonsense. Hilarious. Ridiculous.
Regardless of a family situation it doesnt mean that a person has to be tied to family 24/7. Even with small children. The OP indulges in an active hobby twice a week that allows him freedom from home, the chance to socialise and healthy exercise. With any exercise there is a small risk of injury, and who of us hasnt over-indulged in the gym or wherever and been out of commission for a few days? Just because you have a young family doesnt mean that you cant have a life. Well, it doesnt mean that for two measly hours a week you cant have a life.

py2006

StormWarrior wrote:

It sounds to me like you are the one being incredibly unreasonable. I think its extremely selfish of you. Would it really kill you to quit for a few months? Do you really think it's fair for your poor wife to have to cope with a pregnancy, a kid and an incapacitated husband? I'm not surprised she's thinking of leaving you, if playing football is more important to you than your family. The poor woman must be having a nrevous breakdown at the thought of what she has to cope with.

Well that rant was a bit OTT!

When I first started reading this post I thought it was going to me another one of these women who expects their partners to drop all the friends/hobbies and I was going to tell him to leave HER! But that changed atl the point where he said she was expecting.

I think it would be only right for you to cool it for a bit while your wife is pregnant. What if she goes into labour and you have a broken foot and you can drive her to hospital etc

As for threatening to leave you well thats a bit harsh! I guess thats the hormones kicking in. She wont do that over such a minor thing.

If this was to continue aftewards or was going on before the pregnancy then I would have agreed with you. Its not like your spending every spare moment you have down the pub!

StormWarrior

I don't think I was being OTT. The poor woman is heavily preganant and has a little kid to look after. She needs help, not a husband on crutches sitting around on the sofa all day. She's probably terrified about what will happen if he has another serious injury. Would it really kill him to take up swimming for a few months instead? The fact that he only does football a few hours a week is irrelevant. He's already had 2 incapacitating injuries in just 6 months. He should really grow up.

Keith C

StormWarrior wrote:

Maybe it's time you found a new hobby. There are ten million other things out there you could be doing.
And maybe you shouldn't have gotten her pregnant if you weren't prepared to make sacrifices!

another bullsh*t post storm warrior, are you trolling??
Football takes maybe an hour twice a week, a round of golf with 4 people can take 4 hours approx & it wouls usually be played on a sat or sun for most people. Suggest some other hobbies that take 1 hr during a weeknight that provides excercise?

dr.bollocko

Yeah. You were being OTT. He hasnt been on crutches non-stop for 6 months or anything. Jesus if you are that paranoid about being injured in a game of 5-a-side, you must be worried to even step out your front door in the morning. Its 5-a-side for a local team, not mad-max 2.

Nevyn

dr.bollocko wrote:

To be honest, to suggest that someone is inconsiderate for indulging in a healthy hobby twice a week is really way over the top. And storm warrior's post above, just fit for the bin really. Nonsense. Hilarious. Ridiculous.

That is no the case here.

dr.bollocko wrote:

Regardless of a family situation .......

An impending birth is not the run of the mill standard event in family life.

dr.bollocko wrote:

Just because you have a young family doesnt mean that you cant have a life. Well, it doesnt mean that for two measly hours a week you cant have a life.

Very true but that is not when there are exceptional circumstances like a heavily pregnany wife and a new born due to be in the house.

StormWarrior

To be on crutches twice in 6 months from 5 a side, he must be either very careless or they must be playing in a very ott way. This bloke chose to become a husband and father, now he will have to accept the responsibility. What happens if he's on crutches, his wife goes into labour, the ambulance hasn't showed up, their kid is screaming, and no one's available to drive them? Or the baby is a newborn and the wife's holding it, the other kid runs in the road or something and it's dad is on crutches and can't run after it? There are a million things that could go wrong, all because he doesn't want to quit football for a while. I'm sure with a baby, a kid and a husband on crutches to look after, the poor woman won't have time to do any hobbies of her own.

dr.bollocko

Surely an impending birth would be a necessity for standard family life rather than the exception? If you find one young family that hasnt gone through child birth I will give you a tenner.
Likewise, the bloke being injured is the exception, not the rule. It happens, but it happens with us all at different stages, such is life.

Plenty of single women with no man to drive them there are having and raising children every day of the week. Likewise the disabled, and those of us who dont own cars. There is a slight risk of injury from football, maybe even slightly greater than low impact sports, but come on... Its not like the guy is a mafiosi, or a professional mercenary. He meets up with some mates to kick a football around twice a week.
Now, having a young family and all the rigours and work, lack of sleep, worry etc. that that goes with, why would anyone want to take this guy's one weekly pleasure away?

StormWarrior

I am a sports fan myself, and on one occassion I ended up on crutches, so I know that when you are on crutches, it is extremely hard just to move yourself around, you are certainly no help to anyone else, and in fact, a burden to others because you can't do some stuff for yourself.

This bloke's wife isn't trying to stop him doing any sports, she just wants him to switch to one that is less likely to leave her in the lurch at this difficult time. I don't think that's much to ask, and who knows, he may even discover great pleasure in his new hobby.

Nevyn

Keith C wrote:

another bullsh*t post storm warrior, are you trolling??

IF you have an issue with a post report do not post asking or stating it is a troll.

Keith C wrote:

Football takes maybe an hour twice a week, a round of golf with 4 people can take 4 hours approx & it wouls usually be played on a sat or sun for most people. Suggest some other hobbies that take 1 hr during a weeknight that provides excercise?

The issue is not the going out to 2.3 hours to play football is the situation which may arise if he gets injuried again ( esp if it is a re occuring injury) and the burden that will be on the family and the burden worring about it happening is on his verypregnant wife.

aidan_walsh

Surely an impending birth would be a necessity for standard family life rather than the exception?

"Standard family life" would surely be the every day events, of which childbirth is certainly not one. Its quite an exceptional circumstance, actually.

There is a slight risk of injury from football, maybe even slightly greater than low impact sports, but come on... Its not like the guy is a mafiosi, or a professional mercenary. He meets up with some mates to kick a football around twice a week.

Nobody is asking him to give that up for good. Just to give it a rest for a couple of months until the "standard family life" settles back down again.

masseyno9

ok, i'm a regular reader of this board, but rarely find it necessary to post, but stormwarrior...what in the name of god are you talking about?

Its unfortunate that this guy has been incapacitated due to playing football, but it doesnt mean he shouldnt be allowed play anymore. If he fell down the stairs and broke a leg, would you suggest he stop using the stairs?

You also say being 'incapacitated' would lead him to being an ineffective parent, because he couldn't run after his child. There are planty of disabled people who are perfectly good parents, even though their homes are not designed to allow them quickly access the street.

If a three year old is allowed to run out on a road, then there is something more wrong than a mans injury from football. And i've heard of people delivering babies on the back seats of cars in hospital car-parks, so driving there wouldn't be a major help. A million things could go wrong, regardless of whether the father is on crutches or not. Also crutches don't incapacitate you, they make it a bit more difficult to move around, doesn't mean he can't parent effectively

its unusual to get a serious injury from non-competitive 5 a side, and to get 2 in 6 months....just bad luck. probably won't happen again, so don't worry about it.

Sometimes i just don't know where some people get their *logic*

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

StormWarrior

dr.bollocko wrote:

There is a slight risk of injury from football,

Clearly for the OP, the risk is greater than for the general population. Maybe it would be a good idea for him to try a different sport anyway, football is evidently not where his talents lie.

dr.bollocko

Football is a team sport. Particularly when you are playing 5-a-side with some mates, the reason to go is to hang out and socialise, and not just to exercise. I love a kickaround, but swimming, as an alternative lone sport, would be dull and not allow him the social outlet that he needs in order to unwind, etc. Its more about the communication, socialising and everything that goes with a kick-around with your mates rather than just the exercise.

StormWarrior

masseyn09 at any other time I would agree, but not when his poor wife is about to drop. He should really be trying to make life easier for her.

Nevyn

dr.bollocko wrote:

Surely an impending birth would be a necessity for standard family life rather than the exception? If you find one young family that hasnt gone through child birth I will give you a tenner.
Likewise, the bloke being injured is the exception, not the rule. It happens, but it happens with us all at different stages, such is life.

They are two exceptional circumstance that have happend leaving the family in this quandry. Inpending birth to most irish families happens 3 or less times out of a life time of childrearing.

dr.bollocko wrote:

Plenty of single women with no man to drive them there are having and raising children every day of the week.

Yes they have to manage on thier own with out a husband that swore legal and maybe religious oaths to love and support her esp at the vonerible time of beign pregnant.

dr.bollocko wrote:

Now, having a young family and all the rigours and work, lack of sleep, worry etc. that that goes with, why would anyone want to take this guy's one weekly pleasure away?

There are many thing an impending mother has to give up for the duration of a pregnancy which she can resume afterwards, when more normal family life resumes and there is less of a risk to her, the child and the family this is the same.

StormWarrior

dr.bollocko wrote:

Football is a team sport. Particularly when you are playing 5-a-side with some mates, the reason to go is to hang out and socialise, and not just to exercise. I love a kickaround, but swimming, as an alternative lone sport, would be dull and not allow him the social outlet that he needs in order to unwind, etc. Its more about the communication, socialising and everything that goes with a kick-around with your mates rather than just the exercise.

Pub?

dr.bollocko

Cool. so what we need is simply a contract stating that the guy has to give up the footie until the baby comes, and then he should be allowed to have his footie back as soon as the baby has gotten here. That sounds pretty reasonable to me......

AnonoBoy

When your wife/girlfriend is heavily pregnant it is *not* the time to start telling her that she's being unreasonable and putting the foot down.

Many people seem to think his missus has a problem with the time spent playing football - I really don't think this is the case (the OP doesn't mention it anyway). Her problem, or concern to put it more accurately, is that he will injure himself again (he seems to be prone to injuries at the moment) and this will lead to her having to mind the child while being due in a few weeks.

I don't think the OP is being selfish but I also think that it's not unreasonable at all to expect a man to put his family before himself for a few months.

I think a lot of the people saying 'tell her to cop on' are obviously not married or in a serious long term relationship with children involved. There are sacrifices to be made on both sides in married life and giving up playing football for a few months is hardly the greatest or most difficult of them.

She's not asking you to stop playing forever. Be a man and suck it up.

Nevyn

dr.bollocko wrote:

Cool. so what we need is simply a contract stating that the guy has to give up the footie until the baby comes, and then he should be allowed to have his footie back as soon as the baby has gotten here. That sounds pretty reasonable to me......

Well hopefully they will be able to reach such a comprimise and his mates will understand and do something else so that they can socailise together

landser

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

I rarely post in here but...

at last, a sensible quote. Some of the "will somebody please think of the children" reactions are hilaroius... the OP is playing footie for a couple of hours a week, not scouring the streets for hookers.. lighten up people

To the OP, your wife's hormones are all over the place. Once she has the child she'll return to normal. Humour her for a while and pretend you're going for a walk or something on your usual football nights. If you get injured, blame poor footpaths in your area.

Alternatively, You can tell her to cop herself on or you'll leave her... she sounds like a bit of a head wrecker tbh.

Kinetic^

AnonoBoy wrote:

She's not asking you to stop playing forever.

Eh yeah she is.

Robbo

StormWarrior wrote:

Clearly for the OP, the risk is greater than for the general population. Maybe it would be a good idea for him to try a different sport anyway, football is evidently not where his talents lie.

You're able to assess his footballing skill based on internet posts alone?

Back to the OP. Give up until after spawning, give it two months and then start back again.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Nevyn

landser wrote:

I rarely post in here but...

at last, a sensible quote. Some of the "will somebody please think of the children" reactions are hilaroius... the OP is playing footie for a couple of hours a week, not scouring the streets for hookers.. lighten up people

To the OP, your wife's hormones are all over the place. Once she has the child she'll return to normal. Humour her for a while and pretend you're going for a walk or something on your usual football nights. If you get injured, blame poor footpaths in your area.

Alternatively, You can tell her to cop herself on or you'll leave her... she sounds like a bit of a head wrecker tbh.

So he should lie to his wife and threathen to leave her when she is heavily pregnant and add to her stress levels ?

High blood pressure due to stress when pregant is one of the most common reasons women are admited to hopistal from 7 months onwards and have to stay there for the rest of the pregnancy which would leave the OP at home with his 3 year old and having to cope.

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

She is pregnant panicing and he can't see how stressed out she is.
Towards the end of pregnancy every woman becomes a what if what if worrier and she has some grounds
about this issue tbh.

She could feel like she has been doing it all on her own due to him being on crutches and if she has to do it all on her own she may as well be on her own rather then looking at him and getting totally frustrated at what he has not done or be able to do in sharing the burden of the pregnancy and the family there for stripping away a lot of the joy.

They need to meet in the middle and find a comprimise.

silvine

StormWarrior wrote:

It sounds to me like you are the one being incredibly unreasonable. I think its extremely selfish of you. Would it really kill you to quit for a few months? Do you really think it's fair for your poor wife to have to cope with a pregnancy, a kid and an incapacitated husband? I'm not surprised she's thinking of leaving you, if playing football is more important to you than your family. The poor woman must be having a nrevous breakdown at the thought of what she has to cope with.

I scanned some of the posts here half expecting to see Maud Flanders furiously typing away at her keyboard.

It's hardly like he is out doing crack cocaine! Was that comparison dramatic? No more so than depicting a poor embattled woman caring for an incapacitated husband, a kid, and a pregnancy while careering towards a nervous breakdown.

It's only a few hours of football a week, it's healthy and a good way to unwind and hardly something to end a relationship over.

And as for being a man and sucking it up, they're will be plenty of time for that when the baby is born. Giving up football does not a manhood make while fatherhood on the other hand does.

Game over.

StormWarrior

The OP says he's had 2 serious injuries in 6 months. Who knows how many he has had before that?

This is obviously causing his wife distress at a time when she's vulnerable. For that reason alone a caring husband would surely think twice about the feelings of his pregnant wife. We only have the OP's word that nothing else is wrong in their relationship, but if he's not prepared to do this one thing for his family at this time, who really knows what kind of a husband he is in other respects? Maybe it's not the only reason his wife is threatening to leave him.

Poppy84

I have scanned most of the posts here and I cannot believe that ye lot are saying the wife is over reacting!!!!

She is pregnant already has one and in the last six months OP has been incapacitated twice so she is left looking after one kid along with her husband on crutches and herself.

I think you should really think of your wife, marriage and relationships are about compromise and anyone deserves and extra hand during pregnancy and not given the extra burden of looking after you.

what happens if you do get another injury? your wife will have to deal with you, your kid and the newborn. I cant see you getting up in the middle of the night to help with the newborn if you are on crutches.

I think you are being a bit selfish here this is your wife your unborn baby! Your only stressing her out.

Giving up football isn't forever but some sacrifices are expected with a new baby.

Give your wife the support she needs instead of burdening her with extra stress and extra work if you get injured again.

Dave

StormWarrior wrote:

The OP says he's had 2 serious injuries in 6 months. Who knows how many he has had before that?

It helps if you read the post before making comments on it.

OP wrote:

I was playing the 5-a-side for years without any major injuries prior to the recent spat

I can see both sides of the argument to be honest. Your wife is being unreasonable asking you to quite footy forever. I'm sure she's not that much of anti-christ, well hopefully. She's probably just stressed out, so maybe ye could both work towards a compromise, until the baby is born, anything to make her life easier, as I'm sure carrying a baby for 9 months and then popping it out is pretty tough.

Then when the baby is born you can head back to your footy and everything will be hunky dory. If she is still threatening to leave you after this then either she's a walking b*tch or there are some serious relationship issues!

AnonoBoy

Damn it. I hate when I misread the OP.

Well how about he gives it up until after the baby is born and then when the hormones are back to normal I'd say taking it up again would be no problem.

Of course he didn't go getting himself injured all the time then this wouldn't be happening. :rolleyes:

Kinetic^

Seriously like, leaving somebody for playing twice a week? Come on storm warrior. As has been said, he could've been injured walking down a flight of stairs!!

The Op's missus claims she'll leave him if he doesn't quit.......get a grip.......at least he'll have more time to play soccer then!!!

Will people read the damn OP, it says she wants him to give up football forever and play tiddlywinks instead!!! :rolleyes:

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Poppy84

Oh god relax with the hormone argument people, she isn't requesting this because she is hormonal she doesn't want to be left looking after everyone single handedly.

As I said original compromise. Fair enough shes asking him to give it up forever but how about give it up now, support your wife and your family for a few months till after the baby is born and when things have settled down and your family is into a routine talk to her about it, calmly!
Compromise I'm sure she would like to get out of the house for a few hours a week in a few months when things settle so agree that the two of ye need the hobby time. However OP I would advise you to look for another interest if you are prone to injury do you think it is very fair to have your wife in the situation where she has to look after you n two kids, you wouldn't appreciate being left in that situation if it was preventable

Boston

Quiet simple really.

If you can fullfil all your dutties as a husband and father, then she has no grounds to complain, bar worrying for you.

If on the other hand, your hobby makes you unable to fullfill your fair share of the partnership such as collecting kid from school/minder, doing housework, paying the bills/whatever, resulting in her not only having to take up the slack but also take care of you, then she has every right to set the terms.

landser

Thaedydal wrote:

So he should lie to his wife and threathen to leave her when she is heavily pregnant and add to her stress levels ?

High blood pressure due to stress when pregant is one of the most common reasons women are admited to hopistal from 7 months onwards and have to stay there for the rest of the pregnancy which would leave the OP at home with his 3 year old and having to cope.

Sounds to me like she is creating the stress herself. The OP does not seem to go out other than to play footie for a couple of hours a week. She is being selfish and a bit of a moan. It would seem to me that no matter what the OP did she would find something to stress about.

For God's sake, get a real, this should not be an issue for her. If he was going out getting rat arsed a couple of nights or evcen one night a week and in bed for a day, I'd say she was damn right, but this is at most 4 hours per week out of 128 hours (assuming OP works 40 hours per week). That is not reasonable and he should tell her....

StormWarrior

landser wrote:

For God's sake, get a real, this should not be an issue for her. If he was going out getting rat arsed a couple of nights or evcen one night a week and in bed for a day, I'd say she was damn right, but this is at most 4 hours per week out of 128 hours (assuming OP works 40 hours per week).

As has been stated many times before, this isn't about the time he spends playing.

Kenny 5 wrote:

Seriously like, leaving somebody for playing twice a week? Come on storm warrior. As has been said, he could've been injured walking down a flight of stairs!!

But using stairs is unavoidable, and anyway, he is obviously not as accident-prone on stairs as he is on a football pitch.

I agree that expecting him to give it up forever is unreasonable of her, but him taking what is, with his recent record, real risks at this particular time, is unreasonable of him.

And if it is causing her so much distress at this delicate time, why can't he just quit temporarily because he loves her and wants to make life easier for her?

neuro-praxis

I really don't post here much but this thread is so unbelievable I can't keep my mouth shut.

His wife and children should come first. What is a man doing spending eight social nights a month, every month, away from his wife while she cares for very young children anyway? You can bet everything you've got that SHE doesn't get two nights a week out to herself, least of all to play a sport that has caused her multiple injuries which make her, as the OP has said, "useless" around the house for as long as six months.

OP, sorry, you sound like a cliche. No, you sound like a teenager who wants to get everything and sacrifice nothing. That is not the way it works in a marriage. In a marriage you should ALWAYS put your partner before yourself. It doesn't sound like this is something you often do.

metrovelvet

You should hire someone to help her with the duties that you are unable to do right now.

She should not have to look after a small child while she is heavily pregnant and the husband who self infllictedly turned himself into a burdensome cripple all by herself.

Forget the homonal argument. Do you think this will end after the baby comes? Her hormones will be all over the place readjusting and she will be exhausted.

Get a maid and a helper.

StormWarrior

neuro-praxis wrote:

You can bet everything you've got that SHE doesn't get two nights a week out to herself, least of all to play a sport that has caused her multiple injuries which make her, as the OP has said, "useless" around the house for as long as six months.

Exactly. OP, think of it this way. When the baby's born, your wife starts going to the pub with her mates 2 nights a week, every week, leaving YOU to care for the kids. Sometimes she gets so pissed that she ends up in bed for days/weeks on end, leaving you to care for her and the kids alone. Would you find that reasonable?

And before people jump on me, I am not saying that getting drunk is similar to playing sports, but the OP really needs to see this from his wife's perspective.

BaZmO*

There's a reason why professional footballers give up in their 30's. And the fact you're going through a bit of a Michael Owen patch at the moment should be some food for thought.

I really think that this is a no brainer. If you are really that into your football just have a chat with your wife and tell her that you'll take a break until the baby arrives and you've both settled into a new routine. By the sounds of it the OP and the people backing him up seem to have a bigger problem being told what to do rather than anything else.

A few years back when I used to play 5-a-side one of my mates got a nasty injury that put him on crutches for a week mid way through the season. He was getting married at the end of the season so he decided that he wasn't willing to risk another injury that could ruin his wedding day and possibly his honeymoon too. The OP has a more important event coming up and therefore should at least give it a break with the football until it has passed if only to appease his wife.

~Rebel~

neuro-praxis wrote:

I really don't post here much but this thread is so unbelievable I can't keep my mouth shut.

His wife and children should come first. What is a man doing spending eight social nights a month, every month, away from his wife while she cares for very young children anyway? You can bet everything you've got that SHE doesn't get two nights a week out to herself, least of all to play a sport that has caused her multiple injuries which make her, as the OP has said, "useless" around the house for as long as six months.

OP, sorry, you sound like a cliche. No, you sound like a teenager who wants to get everything and sacrifice nothing. That is not the way it works in a marriage. In a marriage you should ALWAYS put your partner before yourself. It doesn't sound like this is something you often do.

The OP isnt spending 8nights a month away, he's spending 8 HOURS a month away. that to me is pretty reasonable, and is obviously not the issue anyway, as its purely the health factor that has the wife worried.

He's not a rally driver, he plays a few games of non competitive ball, with a history of only 2 proper injuries over his entirespan of playing.

I think Thaed's thinking is quite on the ball while some of the anti-OP replies have been ridiculously over the top.

To the OP, i would suggest toning it down to 1 game a week for the next 6 months (thats 1 hour neuro, not a whole night), and changing your natural game to just playing the pirlo role in front of the keeper or defence (depending how organised your 5 a sides are), where your just passing around, making yourself available to receive and give the ball, rather then running around jumping into tackles etc. If you're not comfortable that you'd be able to guarantee your own health with this style of play (eg. the lads you play with usually launch themselves into challenges), then just give it a rest for the 6 months, because your Wife definately does need you able bodied. For those who dont play, its easy enough to not put yourself into more dangerous situations if your taking it easy. If you want you can still be a decent member of a team without breaking past anything more then a light jog, and you still get the bonus of getting a game, and meeting the lads. Thats the role i played for a month when i was recovering from an injury before (ironically from jogging for the bus, not football).

Hope you can sort our a compromise anyway OP.

LegacyUser

Take it handy on the pitch, relax and enjoy it. let the younger fellas do the work and play one of those "sitting", jan molby-type roles! Then off away home with a smile and enjoy your evening, injury and hassle free...

2 hours out of your 168-hour week to play soccer isn't selfish or excessive, it's entirely necessary or you'll drive yourself up the wall. Getting bogged down and frustrated with no release isn't going to do yer missus or your kids any favours in the long run.