I've a drink problem

LegacyUser

I'm 36, single and to be honest have to admit at this point that i have a drink problem.

I had girlfriends in my 20's but they didn't work out (to be honest was out drinking all the time).

I do like being around people , fact is i'm glad to be back at work on a Monday a I'm with others and having a bit of craic.

However am an utter failure socially, am extremely shy with girls and at weekends i drink to cover over the cracks - I'd really rather be cooking dinner, helping with homework etc.
I'm not a bad person, I'd really really not like to grow old alone.

AA i not for me, the religious thing isn't not for me at all.

Is it possible to find love and a family at 36 or too old already?

Tak3n

What i found to be helpful talking to girls in real life was internet chatroom and flirting with girls from them.. get your techniques right and it gives u added confidence.
At your age try joining a few dating sites ive heard some good reports... otherwise your best bet is to get introduced through friends..

But its not too late.. try giving up the drink for a while or at least cutting down on it.. girls hate drunk guys at least so ive heard

Your last option is to buy a girl from russia or asia

princess k

well done for taking the 1st step in admitting it...thats the hard part over...if you feel like a chat pm me,i'd be happy to talk to you. take care.

LegacyUser

Do you know why you drink?

I know you have said to paper over the cracks, but what cracks specifically?

You've said you have lost previous gf's through drink at a young age, so if that's true this isn't a recent occurrence?

Is it possible to find love at 36 as a male, yes.
You have to clean up the act though. There are female contemporaries of your age and younger looking for the same thing you are.

But the fact is no one wants to deal with an alcoholic in a starter relationship, and the issues that brings into a relationship.

If you want something that bad go get it.
Its the same as anything else. If you want to pass an exam it requires study and self control, for the end game and result.
But if you won't go to AA then realise to yourself why you drink and try to sort out the core issues that make you drink, that's a first step.

peckerhead

What princess k said.

And I'm not a girl!

patrickc

AA, GA and CA are not about religion they are about something else a higher being, could be a football player for all you want

louisecm

patrickc2006 wrote:

AA, GA and CA are not about religion they are about something else a higher being, could be a football player for all you want

What he said.

Also, there is of course hope! You might find that if you seek treatment for your alcoholism some of your social difficulties may fade.

Congratulations on admitting you have a problem. Your future can be bright if you seek treatment, but I wouldn't write off AA straight away. A friend of mine just went to his first meeting last week thinking it wouldn't be for him, but he was surprised at what it was like. Not at all what he expected. You could also look into The Rutland Centre which has helped many people I know! Its expensive but well worth it when you consider it can help you change your life massively for the better!

Moss

It is really good you can say you have a problem and need help. Perhaps you should seek professional help from a psychologist for this and for your self-esteem. http://www.psihq.ie/find_psychologist.asp

I suspect your being way to harsh on yourself when you say 'I'm an utter failure socially'. I mean you can hold down a job and get on with people there, you've had relationships in the past and you say yourself you're a good person who just wants to settle down. Your definitely not too old at thirty six.

barrett1965

36_Single_Alco wrote:

I'm 36, single and to be honest have to admit at this point that i have a drink problem.

I had girlfriends in my 20's but they didn't work out (to be honest was out drinking all the time).

I do like being around people , fact is i'm glad to be back at work on a Monday a I'm with others and having a bit of craic.

However am an utter failure socially, am extremely shy with girls and at weekends i drink to cover over the cracks - I'd really rather be cooking dinner, helping with homework etc.
I'm not a bad person, I'd really really not like to grow old alone.

AA i not for me, the religious thing isn't not for me at all.

Is it possible to find love and a family at 36 or too old already?

Sorry to hear you are having such problems.

One thing I need to clarify is this: AA is more of a spiritual programme rather than a religious one. Granted, it is primarily christian in origin, but it's main focus is to get an individual to rely on a power outside of themselves. Most members, for example, use the AA group as a source of external power (G.O.D., Group Of Drunks).

I heard drink once described as a 'glass crutch' and I think that sums it up pretty well. Maybe you could tackle the sauce first and see how you get on from there.

Good luck in any event.

Vinnie K

From someone who knows alot of people in AA, give it a go, you'll be well surprised, the support you get will be matched by no other. If you really want to give up drink just go to 1 meeting a night for a week and see what you think about it, nothing bad can come of it!! You've probly spent endless hours in pubs so 1 hour a night shouldnt be hard!! Best of luck, you've already completed step 1, on to bigger and better things now!!
All the best!!!

Anti

How much do you drink per night?

biko

As someone said, try internet dating forums.