age difference

bookiebasher

hi met a fab girl last week and we are meeting again on sunday..she is 41 and im 36..she has a slight worry about age gap but i think age should not come into a friendship..am i wrong to think this or are there pitfalls..

Dudess

That isn't even an age gap at your stage in life. You're both well into adulthood and pretty much in the same age group. Obviously it would be more significant if you were 17 and she was 22 - although even that's not major. It seems she cares about what other people think. At 41 she shouldn't give a ****. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if gender came into it - as in, the fact that it's the woman who's older. Would she make such a fuss if she was the one who was 36 and you were 41?
There are zero pitfalls. Of course age shouldn't come into friendship. Go for it, and the very best of luck.

Henry Ford III

Not an issue imho. Especially if she's hot

bookiebasher

very hot ha ha..dont want her to make it an issue thats all

Ruu_Old

That is hardly anything, enjoy yourself and don't worry what others think.

mikeruurds

She might even like the fact that she has a young buck on her arm

axer

I read the other day that the life expectancy in Ireland for females is 81.6 and for males is 76/78. So by those figures ye are a perfect match!

biko

Had it been the other way around no-one would have batted an eyelid. They prob won't now either.

PeakOutput

to figure out if someone is too young for you is very simple..........


divide your age by 2 and add 7 i live my life by this rule and it has not failed me yet........

there is no upper age limit imo if they are hot they are hot

davyjose

I absolutely for the life of me can't believe someone at the age of 36 would be worried about going out with someone 5 lousy years older than them.

LegacyUser

PeakOutput wrote:

to figure out if someone is too young for you is very simple..........


divide your age by 2 and add 7 i live my life by this rule and it has not failed me yet........

there is no upper age limit imo if they are hot they are hot

Every time someone worries about their partners age difference this completely stupid rule is trotted out...divide by 2, add 7...wtf??!!!

Dalfiatach

davyjose wrote:

I absolutely for the life of me can't believe someone at the age of 36 would be worried about going out with someone 5 lousy years older than them.

Seconded. A 41 year old woman saying she's worried about an age gap that would be meaningless if both parties were in their 20s! WTF?

Either she's incredibly immature and insecure, or......

*lightbulb*

She's 41. The OP is 36. She might be thinking about children, perhaps? But doing the woman thing of hinting and alluding and doing everything but actually just coming right out and just saying it. Girls, seriously, youse have to stop that. It wrecks our heads. It's extremely annoying. Men are not psychic. Just Tell Us already. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Either she's an idiot and the OP should walk away no matter how hot she is; or she's worried that she's too old to give the OP children and he might end up resenting this in 5 years time.

randomname2005

Its only 5 years.
If you like her and she likes you, go for it. Life is WAY too short to be worrying about what other people think of such a small age gap. I could see her concerns if it was 26 and 41!!
R

milod

The happiest and most stable couple I know have a similar age difference. While the lady in question worries about being 5 years older from time to time, the bloke in question is not bothered - they've watched the disintegration of marriages all round them (including mine) and are totally solid. Reassurance (plenty) is all that's required - remember the only reason women worry about this sort of thing is that they can always point to many examples of men dropping a partner for a younger model etc...

Slow Motion

Don't worry about the whole age thing it's kind of irrellevant at your age, I'm 39 and my GF is 47 and we are haveing a great time, enjoy it

Miss Fluff

Honestly not an issue imo. Enjoy!

ixoy

Hardly a difference worth typing about! I'm a venerable 28 and my bf is 23 and we met nearly two years ago (just about making it into the age rule ).

It's never really been an issue and we've overcome it at any point that it might have been.

G'luck to you.

The Corinthian

It's an issue at that age and pretending it's not is ridiculous. We're not discussing twenty-something's here.

The minor issue is one of social convention, in that while Society considers older men with younger women not only acceptable but often preferable, the reverse is not the case. As long as you don't mind that you will get comments from other people about this from time, then it's not a problem that cannot be overcome.

The second and more serious problem revolves around where the relationship is going. If you both ultimately feel that it will never become anything approaching a major commitment, a fling, then there's no issue. Otherwise you both have to ask whether you want children or not in the future and if you do then you realistically have to get cracking right away unless you want to start playing Mongolian roulette with more than one chamber filled - assuming you can have them to begin with (both men's and women's fertility takes a nosedive as they get older).

If on the other hand you're happy to enter a relationship with her and see how it goes, but still hope for children 'some day' then consider five or ten years down the road when it's really pushing the boundaries age wise for her and for you to start a new relationship with a younger woman will be less viable.

Being ruthless about it that's what you have to ask yourself; do you want children and do you want them straight away? If so on both or you don't want children (baring in mind she may) then fire ahead, if you're not ready then you may have a problem.

It's certainly doable to have a relationship with those age differentials, but it certainly should not be entered into lightly.

PeakOutput

Eddie93 wrote:

Every time someone worries about their partners age difference this completely stupid rule is trotted out...divide by 2, add 7...wtf??!!!

its a very simple guideline that works imo...........age difference is an issue (not at ops age i dnt believe but still) for most people.........so whats the problem??????

Dudess

davyjose wrote:

I absolutely for the life of me can't believe someone at the age of 36 would be worried about going out with someone 5 lousy years older than them.

It's the other way round. In this case, the woman is 41 and concerned about the fact that her new guy (the OP) is five years younger than her. At a superficial level, it's probably concern about the fact that it's the female who's older, not the male, which is a very outdated attitude. But there could be other concerns too, as The Corinthian pointed out - children and all that. But maybe she already has children and doesn't want any more. However, if she's 41, she's 41, and at a late stage in life fertility-wise. The age of her partner isn't going to affect that. Although, as another poster pointed out, if the OP wants kids, then he might be looking in the wrong place here - it's difficult to conceive at this age. She literally has 41-year-old eggs. But maybe the OP doesn't have such concerns. And if he likes her, then he really should just go for it.

Lilygilly

I dont think that is an issue at all! Im 24 and ny boyfriend is 30, no one bats an eye-lid! It'll only be an issue if you make it one!