I hate talking on the phone!

LegacyUser

I have a bit of a problem - talking on phones.

I have no problem talking to someone close to me on the phone if im in private, but when there are other people around i get nervous or something and say stupid things.

Work is a nightmare, i hate talking on the phone to strangers when there are loads of other people around and there all listening in on what im saying which makes me mess up.

Anyone else have this problem or know a solution?

daiixi

I used to have that problem and to an extent I still do. As a teenager I could call friends but if I had to make a doctor's appointment I'd go to the surgery rather than call. I couldn't even order a pizza over the phone.
When I was 22 I got a data entry job which, unknowingly to me, involved answering the phone! I almost died. Even worse it involved me taking calls from people all over the UK. Being fresh off the boat from Australia I couldn't understand half the accents that I was hearing and I even hung up on a few people!! But the more I used the phone the better I got at it. And the more I spoke to people the better I got at understanding their accents
Try writing down what you have to say/ask and reading it. It'll help you keep track of what you're doing and mean that you don't have to think on the spot.
I still **** up sometimes but I don't worry so much anymore. Noone really seems to care when I **** up either!! If you do get confused about what you're saying or what someone else is saying stop, take a breath and either clarify yourself or ask them to repeat what they've said.
The more you practice the easier it becomes.

Faith

Oh yeah. I used be really bad, but I've kind of gotten over it now. If I have to ring someone though, I go into another room if there's someone in the one I'm in. I really like to write down what I want to say. I do occasionally start shaking when I ring really unfamiliar people.

I took a job over the summer - data entry, that kind of thing. One day my boss called me up and told me to go through a specific database, consisting of about 2000 clients, and to ring them all to establish if they were still in business or not and delete them if they weren't. For the first 100 or so, I just deleted ones I thought probably weren't still in business, or hadn't been contacted in years. Then I started blocking the number and ringing places. I'd hang up if it rang, and assume they were still in business and delete them if the number was disconnected.

Slowly, as I've gotten older, I've gotten more comfortable with the phone. You're not alone with your problem, OP, and I think practise is the key to getting over it.

Little-Devil

Triptronic5000 wrote:

I have a bit of a problem - talking on phones.

I have no problem talking to someone close to me on the phone if im in private, but when there are other people around i get nervous or something and say stupid things.

Work is a nightmare, i hate talking on the phone to strangers when there are loads of other people around and there all listening in on what im saying which makes me mess up.

Anyone else have this problem or know a solution?

I have the same problem myself, i hate talking and always send text mgs to certain people, but if its friends or family i'll call. I met this amazing girl we got really well, she went back home but wanted to stay in touch. The only contact i would have was though e-mails. I rang her once or twice but made a excuse i had to go after 10minutes and we lost touch, i may get a e-mil now and again, but i wonder what might have been and i hate myself for not trying harder. I'm sure everyone hates talking on the phones am im sure there are loads of members who's job probably involves telephones on a daily basis. I would say make more of and effort with your friends and family and go from there. Your not alone though.

WindSock

pretty much what I have to say has been said. You do get used to it after a while. However, I still switch my phone to silent on public transport. I will not have a conversation over the phone on the dart/bus, unless it's really urgent.

axer

Triptronic5000 wrote:

I have a bit of a problem - talking on phones.

I have no problem talking to someone close to me on the phone if im in private, but when there are other people around i get nervous or something and say stupid things.

Work is a nightmare, i hate talking on the phone to strangers when there are loads of other people around and there all listening in on what im saying which makes me mess up.

Anyone else have this problem or know a solution?

I worked in a call centre for about 6 years. I started when I was 16 and I used to say the most stupid things because I was nervous and couldn't think.

Try taking your time while talking on the phone. Don't rush conversations and don't let others rush the conversations either i.e. stay in control. It will give you more time to think. You can use filler words like "right", "ok" and "hmmm" while you are thinking. If you feel under pressure then you will not think and obviously say stupid things. You must actually concentrate on relaxing while on the phone. Remember the person on the other end is just a human being like you or me.

The good thing is that as you need to use the phone in work then you can practice. Actually try different things and you will learn quickly.

Miss Fluff

Triptronic5000 wrote:

Work is a nightmare, i hate talking on the phone to strangers when there are loads of other people around and there all listening in on what im saying which makes me mess up.QUOTE]

What line of work are you in? I can assure you your workmates aren't really that bothered, you've just convinced yourself that they are. All I can advise is practice, the more you speak on the phone the better and more confident you will become.

Kell

Triptronic5000 wrote:

i hate talking on the phone to strangers when there are loads of other people around and there all listening in on what im saying which makes me mess up.

No one is listening to you. No-one gives a fúcking monkey. Convince yourself of this fact and you will be fine.

Look at it this way- unless someone on the bus is being loud and obnoxious while chatting on a mobile, can you honestly say that you give a shít about what they are talking about? See- same goes for you.

K-

Marksie

if its a private call, either say excuse me and take it to another room. If you cannot say I am busy right now can i call you back.

If it is at work, just keep practicing, no-one else is going to bother as its work calls. they will tune you out and you tune them out

donhughberto

Try been in a situation where you are hearing impaired and get stuck in a phone environment(office). I can relate to been nervous but if i can get around it, i am sure anybody can.

Relax, have a conversation. I know plenty of people who come across different on a phone for many reasons. Nobody at work listens to you. Its in your head

biko

Triptronic5000 wrote:

I have a bit of a problem - talking on phones.

I have no problem talking to someone close to me on the phone if im in private, but when there are other people around i get nervous or something and say stupid things.

Work is a nightmare, i hate talking on the phone to strangers when there are loads of other people around and there all listening in on what im saying which makes me mess up.

Anyone else have this problem or know a solution?

I don't like talking on the phone because I can't see who I'm talking to.
Worked for a while in a call centre so had to, but still rather talk face to face.

irlrobins

boreds wrote:

I will not have a conversation over the phone on the dart/bus, unless it's really urgent.

I'm the same. I have a paranoid fear that everyone on the bus is listening to me. So I tend to just say "yes, no, em" or tell the caller I'll ring them back.

No problems on the phone at any other time. It's just the bus that I'm uncomfortable with. But I guess we all have our quirks.

kaalgat

daiixi wrote:

Try writing down what you have to say/ask and reading it. It'll help you keep track of what you're doing and mean that you don't have to think on the spot.
QUOTE]

Definately agree with this. I am the same, I can't talk to people on the phone without mispronouncing words and going "uhh" all the time. Even my boyfriend hates talking to me on the phone, as I can never think of anything to say...:o
Ringing people for my car insurance etc is a nightmare! I'm a total pushover

I do find that writing things down before-hand helps so that I don't forget them, or that I don't stick a few sentences together without it making any sense!

Also have a job now where I have to answer the phone to a lot of strangers. And it does help to do it every day. Practice practice..

The_B_Man

Why dont u get a job on phones? that'll beat any fears outta ya!!

im sittin here in me nice snug call centre chair and get calls from ppl from irelan,d UK, USA, India, Singapore, all over the world really. at the start i was kinda bothered about it, now, quite the oppposite.