Poor Flirt

LegacyUser

Recently a load of American students started drinking in my local pub. I'm 20 and shy but with a few drinks in me I'm certainly not shy. Anyway, I've got to know most of the American's by now and we'd drink together most nights now.

Last Sunday I went up to the pub on my own to watch the football as there's always someone there to chat to (I have my own friends too but they weren't around at the time). By the evening I was chatting to one of the (good looking) American girls at the bar. As I said, I'm not shy with a few drinks in me, just overly laid back. It's obvious she was flirting with me. A couple of things she said:

"Your face has such a nice bone structure" ... can't remember what my reply was but probably just said thanks.

"You've a nice figure, do you work out" ... To which i replied "no" and just told her that no matter what I eat I don't put on weight.

After a while she ended up joking "are you gay?". It was a serious tone with a smile on her face but she knew I'd been with one of the girls that she's seen before in the pub so it was rhetorical. Anyway, I just laughed it off.

Only when I got home I realised how blatant the flirting was and what she meant by the gay question. I'm just wondering what should the proper response to questions like that be? I don't want lines or anything, just curious how to actually flirt, I'm that bad.

Replying with "and you've nice eyes" is just cheezy. It made me think that the few girls I've been with have come onto me and I've never actually flirted with anyone in my life. I actually find it hard to know when a girl is flirting with me.

So next weekend do I just be me and hope she sticks her tongue down my throat or can I improve my flirting?

PeakOutput

just be you but as she prob thinks your not interested now you will have to put a bit of effort in to get her attention...make an effort to talk to her personally so you have her attention again and then when the flirting thing starts again just have a bit of banter(i dont make a consious effort to flirt i dont think so icant give you advice there but im getting to my point) then if you feel you are getting on again like you were at the match ask her does she wana go somewhere "quieter" ie away from your mates and hers (dont know what your local is like but im assuming this is possible). also whats wrong with asking her out??? dont know what age you are but waiting for someone to score you in a pub gets old after a while ask her out take her to dinner or somewhere original and weather you can flirt back or not she will know your interested coz your putting in the effort

Squall

I dont think its a conscious effort really... at least not most of the time. Next time your chatting to a girl and you think she may be flirting try looking for one thing about her you like then find a way to work it into conversation (without just blurting it out obviously).

Lines are useless really.... unless you use them for the comedy value.

To the are you gay question I probably would have answered with something funny* yet hinting that you were interested i.e.

Her: "Are you Gay?"
You: "Why? Are you a man?"

*Term used loosely... depends entirely on your definition of funny. Terms and conditions apply

Owen

People assume flirting is some mystic art. Here's how you do it. Smile lots, listen lots, and keep eye contact. It's actually quite easy once you have broken the ice.

AnonoBoy

Recently spent a drunken night chatting with a girl and slagging her and ended up leaving with her number. Only when she gave me her number did I realise that I had been flirting with her all evening. Dope.

Slagging mightn't work with an American but sure give it a go!

Kell

unreg11 wrote:

"Your face has such a nice bone structure"

"You've a nice figure, do you work out" ...

Americans tend to be a bit more upfront about these things and not actually mean anything by them. Experience tells me that if an American likes you, they will tell you straight out. American women arent backward about going after what they want.

I like figures and faces and will tell people if I think same. Doesnt mean I want to shag them.

K-

kmick

Just go straight for the kill and ask her back for a coffee. If she is not going to mess around then you should not either. Take control.

_blank_

Kell wrote:

American women arent backward about going after what they want.

:eek:

All of them?

Nice generalisation there dude.

OP, it sounds like she likes you, but as already mentioned, you may now have to put some effort in.

Flirting, well, it's easy really. Chat, laugh, listen, look, touch.

Listen to what she's saying, pick up on a subject she brings up, not too serious, don't discuss Bush's foreign policy with her yet! Have a light hearted chat about this, and let the conversation flow naturally. If she makes a joke, laugh. Eye contact is very important. Touch her lower arm lightly. In essence, giver her a few signals.

Kell

seansouth wrote:

All of them?

Nice generalisation there dude.

:rolleyes:

Kell wrote:

Americans tend to be a bit more upfront

Did you not see the tend bit? I hate generalisations too you see.

K-

melekalikimaka

my friends and i always get asked that by girls, one or two comes pretty close, talks alot with his hand and we are known to slap an ass or two when in the company of friends in jest, we also kip in each others beds the odd time when space is short, nothing gay or anything, just all very close and girls do call one of us a aside fairly often asking if one of us are that way bla bla. doesn't bother most of us, we laugh and say the truth no, we ain't. I don't think its an overly bad thing to be called, the traits of a gay person, in general, aside from their sexual preference is a very friendly nice guy, so in a twisted way its a compliment

DirkVoodoo

My Dad's favourite saying about getting women

"treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen"

Women love the friendly slagging, it lets u be funny and not all over them, raising their interest level.

cold_filter

Why dont you say that you'll be in the pub on X day and her to come,obviously by herself...

DarkJager

Hmmm, I'd be fairly worried if some bird said my face had "a nice bone structure".

But seriously man, go for it. Nothing to lose.

Tak3n

tell her she has beautiful breasts and they're making your peepee hard.

seriously... it works.. maybe replace peepee with a different word though :S

Jesus Wept

Tak3n wrote:

tell her she has beautiful breasts and they're making your peepee hard.

seriously... it works.. maybe replace peepee with a different word though :S

thingy?

Squall wrote:

Her: "Are you Gay?"
You: "Why? Are you a man?"

I'd give that one a miss.



I follow Homer Simpsons' advice

Homer : Don't give them any nicknames like Jumbo or Boxcar ... and always get receipt ... makes you look like a business guy.

jimd2

Tak3n wrote:

tell her she has beautiful breasts and they're making your peepee hard.

seriously... it works.. maybe replace peepee with a different word though :S

That sounds as if it could go either way.... has it worked for you?

Tak3n

jimd2 wrote:

That sounds as if it could go either way.... has it worked for you?

its the quickest way to a one night stand in my opinion.. if the girl has had a few drinks in her and is that way inclined it will work all the time. If shes sober and/or tight.. she will most likely say somethin along the lines of "pfft.. perv" with a discusted look on her face.

Esel

Just say "There's a party in my mouth, do you wanna come?"

I loved the Simpsons episode where Capt Ahab says to a guy who is talking to him:

"Arrrgh you hittin' on me? Cos I don't do that. . . . . on land."