but I like to dress up...

runnerbelly

I love clothes/makeup/ fashion etc -and usually always make an effort no matter where I'm going- college included- ive bn with my boyf 4 like 3 years- (we r only 20 tho) anyway - he sez he loves d way I dress etc but what i find weird is he always prefers how I look when i dress really casual -hoodies etc- and when i dont wear any make up - he compliments me way more in these situations and we've actually spoken bout how he prefers d way I look when i make no effort- rather than when I do- do any guys know where he's comin from here, or what this could mean>? and b4 ne1 suggests that maybe i dont do myself up well - i do. he knows that too- and says he thinks i look hot when im dressed up too.. im not complaining bout ne of this - im jst lookin for some insight? anybody?

Faith

Many men prefer the "natural" look on women. Dressing up, with full makeup and hair done etc, can look really fake. Not to mention that you're more likely to attract male attention when you're all done up.

Beruthiel

runner,
It would help me to understand what you've written above, if you spelt the words out correctly and used the odd full stop.

If you are with him 3 years, why not just ask him straight.
B

Icequeen

Maybe he's afraid that if you make to much of an effort more guys will be attracted to you and he'll lose you to someone else.

Sangre

You probably;

A)wear too much make-up
B)wear the make-up badly
C)dress like a bit of a tramp when you put in the effort.


With most 20 years olds, its probably a combination of A + B. Of course he says you look well when dress up, ever seen the aftermath after a guy told a girl her new dress was crap?

biko

I prefer the natural clean look 90% of time, unless we're going to something special. In that case I'd wear a suit and expect herself to put a nice frock and some paint on.

Lots of makeup and such feels like a façade, not the real person if you know what I mean. Depends on the amount of paint though, some overdo it, some don't.

Kell

runnerbelly wrote:

he prefers d way I look when i make no effort- rather than when I do- do any guys know where he's comin from here, or what this could mean>? and b4 ne1 suggests that maybe i dont do myself up well - i do.

Perhaps your obsession with the way you look bores the fúck out of him and thats why he prefers you looking normal. You probably cant answer this, but perhaps your behaviour changes when you are done up as opposed to normal. Perhaps he feels like he is getting the real deal when you are dressed down and not that he is hanging out with a Barbie doll when you are dressed up.

By the way, I dont see your issue. He has told you how he feels, clearly and cleanly and you are questioning why he feels like this? I dont get you. He has spelt out how he prefers you looking.

Its like this- I like chocolate and custard doghnuts, however I prefer custard ones. I doesnt mean I dont like chocolate ones anymore, just custard is my preference.

I hope that example makes things as clear as mud for you. If not, give the hair spray a miss.

K-

r3nu4l

Well I prefer the natural look, I always have. Light make-up htat's very well done can look natural so I'm not against that. A face full of war paint is not very attractive to me.

It may be that your obyfriend feels the same or as Faith and Icequeen have said it may be that he feels insecure about the attention other men give you when you look very well.

As Beruthiel said, if you are with him 3 years and you are both in your 20's you should be discussing it with him like an adult.

Kell

r3nu4l wrote:

Well I prefer the natural look, I always have.

So do I. No hair. Not even a landing strip or a rabbit tail. Mmmnnn.

K-

runnerbelly

Sangre, I can see why you would think that but I assure you that is not the case, I pride myself on dressing well, I only wear designer and never wear anything that is even borderline slutty and I wear good make up which I dont over apply I tried to explain this in my op. Kell- I actually like your idea about the "real deal" and this was kinda what I was thinking myself!acting differently when I'm dressed up-i never thought about this before... buy it could be true...I also said in my op that I was NOT complaining, at all, I simply find it interesting and was wondering what other guys could make of it. I'm not simply talking about prefering me casual to really dressed up- for example, if im pretty sick, and am pale, tired and generally look like awful-he thinks i look great! and we have talked about it-we joke about it all the time, that i dont need to dress up etc.. As for him being bored with my obsession with my looks? well thats defo true! but sure I already knew that lol. I understand the thoughts about attention from other guys but that never seems to bother him.
ps- i would never touch a can of hairspray

Kell

runnerbelly wrote:

I only wear designer and never wear anything that is even borderline slutty

But you see, designer and looking quality are not the same thing. There are plenty of people I see walking Grafton St. who look like they have been dragged thru a hedge by their nose, yet they are wearing €1,500.00 outfits.

A girl I went out with nannied for a stupidly rich family and had to dress accordingly in expensive gear. Personally I found most of the clothes gick, but nearly came in my pants if she wore a pair of track pants.

Quality doesnt equate style dearie. As you and I have said, you have no issues TBH now do you? You know your BF's thoughts and these should be good enough for you.

Unless you too share my idea of natural and I can share many of my <ahem> thoughts with you.

K-

Icequeen

You should dress how you feel comfortable and if he doesn't like it tell him to lump it. Theres nothing wrong with making an effort and he should be happy that you try. If he wants a girl who wears tracksuits everyday and no makeup he'll find loads of "natural" looking chicks in skanger ville. Hell he may even find one that'll be willing to wear her pyjamers on dates

aye

Icequeen wrote:

You should dress how you feel comfortable and if he doesn't like it tell him to lump it.

i agree with this. OP as a bloke i would say that i like it when girls wear hoodies and stuff just as much as when they dress up.
you should be happy he doesnt only like you when you are dressed up.
also when girls go casual you can actually see their natural look, its refreshing.

Clank

Id be with the majority here too and prefer the natural look.
Quite like your bf and almost complement her more when natural rather than done up aswell.
I think it's something to do with when im with her in public and I see all these other women who are done up to the 9's and my girl spent 2 mins putting makeup on and is just wearing jeans and a hoodie and I still cant take my eyes off her.

(Wearing only designer doesn't necessarily mean you look good, whatever works wear it.)

irishpartyboy

From my experience, its often girls who are naturally attractive can look fantastic wearing hoodie and jeans, or anything casual. They don't need cosmetics. I'd had a girlfriend a few years back who fit into that category.

So if you can carry off the natural look, and your BF obviously thinks your fit regardless, its all good so.

My2.

dr strangelove

Personally, i think there could be an element of 'just a change' - if you always say, wear a skirt, and suddenly start wearing jeans, the fact that there's something different about you, would make him realise that somethings different, so he notices you anew, and it might make you seem more attractive.

Just my 2 cent's worth

Sangre

runnerbelly wrote:

Sangre, I can see why you would think that but I assure you that is not the case, I pride myself on dressing well, I only wear designer and never wear anything that is even borderline slutty and I wear good make up which I dont over apply I tried to explain this in my op

Well to be blunt, you would think that. You'd hardly put make-up badly on purpose.

runnerbelly

yes sangre, fortunately for me, i do have other people in my life besides myself and my boyf who give feedback on how I look, also there is the wonderful commodity of cameras/mirrors etc so thankfully, my intention not to apply makeup badly is not the only basis for my opinion that I do not apply it badly.... ah duh

ApeXaviour

While Sangre has a point, I'm going to assume you do "doll-up" well.

But if he prefers the more natural look then that's what he prefers. I'm the same to a large degree. Makeup, nomatter how nicely done can often take away something. A girl in a loose shirt with her hair in a mess can be so unbelievably sexy. For some people, an unnatural porcelein figure just doesn't do it for them.

qwertyphobia

You like dressing up a bit thats fine

He likes a more natural look thats fine two


But it leaves you in a situation where you both have to accept that each others tastes and find away that works for both of you while not compromising on what you you want and are comfortable with.

Blazer

To me the most attractive women are those either without makeup or very slightly made up..as for clothes..hmm..blue jeans and a white t-shirt..can't beat it
Many women don't realise is that from the front they look very good made up but from the side/back where you can actually the face mask it's not so good..or hot..

BaZmO*

Maybe you actually just look better when you're not done up.

JC 2K3

I've thought about this a lot in the past and whilst I find some girls incredibly hot dressed up, hot girls in casual clothes are the most attractive to me. I personally wouldn't be able to stand a girl who wore designer clothes, but that's just me(I have an aversion to overtly obsessive, vain and fashion conscious girls who spend far too much on superficial/material things).

It's strange, I remember one night when I was on holidays in France my friend who's a girl came out not in a miniskirt and low cut top, but a plain jumper and nice jeans and she commented, "I'm wearing anti-guy clothes tonight, I'm not in the mood for anyone hitting on me", ironically, I thought she looked so much nicer in the casual clothes....

I truely believe the whole obsession with getting dressed up thing is an insecurity placed on young girls at an early age and fuelled throughout their lives by celebrities and the media in general. They should really learn that they look good anyway without all the maintenance.

My advice to the OP would be to care less about your appearence on a day to day basis and save the getting dressed up for nights out. Your boyfriend will find you attractive anyway on a day to day basis and when you dress up he won't be so used to it and he'll probably find you even more attractive as a result.

Kintarō Hattori

My missus doesn't wear any make-up at all, and if she did I'd find it really weird. I think she looks fantastic without it. Some guys just don't think make-up is all that attractive.

AthAnRi

Some girls just don't need make up and it sounds like your boyfriend thinks you are one of these girls. I would take it as a compliment because It sounds like he finds you naturally attractive.

I'm living in Brussels and I find that the girls here dress very conservatively. They never look like they are wearing any make up. But I really like it. It gives them a very classy character. Rarely wear short skirts or low cut tops. Sometimes you really have to look twice to see that most of the girls are all really naturally pretty. I gotta say I find it very attractive.

Sangre

Dump him, he doesn't accept the real you. Who does he think he is trying to change you.

Spyral

Many men prefer the "natural" look on women. Dressing up, with full makeup and hair done etc, can look really fake. Not to mention that you're more likely to attract male attention when you're all done up.

anyone see off the rails there a few days ago. The person they were making up looked like an oompa loompa wiht an orange face. It was HID-E-OUS !

Sleepy

Assuming Sangre's wrong on the wearing makeup incorrectly thing (which unless you're in a tiny, tiny minority of Irish women it's not) I'm guessing your boyfriend doesn't like your fashion sense (entirely understandable if you honestly believe that desinger labels mean anything other than conforming with other sheep) or if you're 'into' your fashion, it's that he doesn't like the vain side you express by 'dolling yourself up'.

Of course it's possible he likes the casual look on a girl but most of us of that persuasion still like our girls dressed up for a night out on the tiles.

LegacyUser

'I am yet another one of those men who prefer women who wear little/no make up, dress casually etc. I hope the message is getting across, not just to the OP, but to any woman viewing this. A couple of points:

1) I like pale skin, I like dark skin, I like lightly tanned skin. I do not like fake tan/foundation - it's disgusting. if a man notices this it is unattractive because it makes women look unhealthy

2) do you and your bf listen to alternative music?

3) when I first started going to clubs, my eyes were drawn to all the flesh on display. that is, until I started looking up into hideous faces. it wasn't long before I realised that the prettiest girls wore pants because they didn't need to wear short skirts. so now my mind filters out the short skirts (well, 90% anyways) and focuses on what is not on display.

4) men associate the clothes you wear with the type of person you are. when you look at men, what do you think of a) a man in uniform, b) a man in a suit c) a man dressed in slick clothes d) a man dressed in hippy clothes? it's probably the same with your bf; what he thinks your clothes represent about your personality/mood. he probably likes just hanging out and being comfortable, what's wrong with that?

5) if your bf asked you to wear short skirts/slutty makeup/dress up as a nurse, would you have the same problem? if you expect him to get his hair cut, shave his beard, take regular showers (all things that men begrudgingly do), why don't you have a problem with wearing normal clothes and not putting on makeup. most women complain that they can't do that, I would ask women generally to get their story straight.'

StormWarrior

It just comes down to personal taste. Personally, as a girl, I find men more attractive if they have a little blusher and lipstick on.

bolliwoodi

men who wear eyeliner are HOT

aye

Turnipface wrote:

if you expect him to get his hair cut, shave his beard, take regular showers (all things that men begrudgingly do),

strange, as a man i have no problem getting a cut, shaving and having a shower each day. if you have a problem with them then fair enough, but don't paint all men as in the same light as yourself

LegacyUser

'

aye wrote:

strange, as a man i have no problem getting a cut, shaving and having a shower each day. if you have a problem with them then fair enough, but don't paint all men as in the same light as yourself

I thought this forum was all about inducing from the particular that general trends may be true...

In any case, the quote you take issue with is taken from a point, the context of which was that men are usually malleable when women ask them to do these things (which, even if they don't like them, are reasonable requests about their physical appearance). I think women should likewise be amenable to a man's reasonable request about their appearance, even if they would perfer to do otherwise.

As this applies to the OP; if he likes you to dress down and you don't have a problem with it, then I would suggest that you dress down for him.'