Sayings you'll never tire of.

Pighead

Pighead has a few sayings in his armoury that he has used for years now and will probably use til the day he dies. For some people the old "See you later" "Not if I see you first" gag has been washed up for many moons now, but I still use it to this day and it still gives me a chuckle when I use it on my unsuspecting victims.

Another saying Pighead can be heard using quite often is "The fcuk I am". Like if someone asks me "Are you going to the Justin Timberlake concert in June in the RDS I'll immediately snap back "The fcuk I am". In my head it sounds cool, edgy and best of all its versatile ie if a guard asked me did you make love with Old Farmer McGahons prized Fresian last night I'll reply "The fcuk I did". Subtle difference yet still sounds cool.

The old timeless sayings are the best in my opinion, give me a "See you later alligator, in a while crocodile" over a "bow chicka wow wow" anyday. People who latch onto these new sayings are quite frankly arseholes, old is gold, new is poo.

So whats your favourite classic sayings?

Trix

'That old chestnut' . Always brings a smile to my face:)

Pherekydes

Winners never quit; quitters never win.


When the going gets tough, blah blah blah.

You're either with us or against us. (On second thoughts, put this on my hate list)

Beruthiel

Wouldn't give him the steam off my piss


Beruthiel, lowering the tone since 2002

Pighead

Slow coach wrote:

Winners never quit; quitters never win.

Brilliant one. Pighead absolutely loves that one. Has there ever been a more motivational saying in our lifetime? Don't think so. Apart from maybe "I'll give you a bj if you go to the shop for me". That saying motivates Pighead everytime.

On and by the way, Beruthial, where is that classy lady I once knew and loved?

Icequeen

Blow it out your ar*e!

Mossy Monk

How are you today.

Pighead

Mossy Monk wrote:

How are you today.

Not bad Mossy Monk. Lovely of you to ask and all that but could you please stay on topic and give me one of your favourite sayings? Good Lad.

Pighead

Icequeen wrote:

Blow it out your ar*e!

Its good but Pighead wants examples so he can gauge the sort of person you are. As my dear old Granny used to say "Never a judge a person by the colour of their shoes, always try and judge them by the sayings they use"

Like, in what situation would you tell somebody to "blow it out your ar*e!"?

The Queen

in reply to "kiss the fattest part of my ass" - not even with your lips!!

potty pete

Pighead wrote:

Pighead has a few sayings in his armoury that he has used for years now and will probably use til the day he dies. For some people the old "See you later" "Not if I see you first" gag has been washed up for many moons now, but I still use it to this day and it still gives me a chuckle when I use it on my unsuspecting victims.

Another saying Pighead can be heard using quite often is "The fcuk I am". Like if someone asks me "Are you going to the Justin Timberlake concert in June in the RDS I'll immediately snap back "The fcuk I am". In my head it sounds cool, edgy and best of all its versatile ie if a guard asked me did you make love with Old Farmer McGahons prized Fresian last night I'll reply "The fcuk I did". Subtle difference yet still sounds cool.

The old timeless sayings are the best in my opinion, give me a "See you later alligator, in a while crocodile" over a "bow chicka wow wow" anyday. People who latch onto these new sayings are quite frankly arseholes, old is gold, new is poo.

So whats your favourite classic sayings?

Why were you referring to yourself in the third person? And the old is gold schtick. Rubbish. Reminds me of a lot of old sconers going off on one about how things were a lot better in the olden days. It's very easy to look back at happier times in hindsight. Anyway, I like the one where for example a slightly peeved parent might ask you what you were going to do with yourself for the day and you reply with something like: "I going to go play football" and they reply with "I'll football you". Brilliant. And fair enough, piggo, I get yer old school sentiments like such, but one must not generalise.

theKED

Sorry if you've heard these:

She was only a:

PLUMBER'S daughter but she sure gave my heart a wrench.

BUTCHER'S daughter but she could REALLY pack Salami!

STOCKBROKER'S daughter but she could really ride the BULLS!

TAXI DRIVER'S daughter but she knew how to keep your meter running

ACCOUNTANT'S daughter but she sure knew how to keep her BOTTOM line profitable.

FISHMONGER'S daughter she had crabs on her plaice, poor soul.

ELECTRICIAN'S daughter but she had all the right connections.

COAL MINER'S daughter but she had a mine of her own.

MARINE COLONEL'S daughter but she was rotten to the corps.

ARTIST'S daughter but she knew where to draw the line.

BUS DRIVER'S daughter but she knew where to get off.

ARCHITECT'S daughter but she knew all the angles.

FISHERMAN'S daughter but when she saw my rod she reeled.


And for the grand finale, the cream of the crop and my personal favourite:
Ah go ask me Boll0x!

depadz

may your next sh1te be a hedgehog

tdow

I wouldn't ride her into battle is a personal favourite . For example:

what do you think of that Mary one over there ?

Jaysus, I wouldn't ride her into battle :cool:

frizzefreckles

now you're sucking diesel

Pighead

potty pete wrote:

Why were you referring to yourself in the third person? And the old is gold schtick. Rubbish. Reminds me of a lot of old sconers going off on one about how things were a lot better in the olden days. It's very easy to look back at happier times in hindsight. Anyway, I like the one where for example a slightly peeved parent might ask you what you were going to do with yourself for the day and you reply with something like: "I going to go play football" and they reply with "I'll football you". Brilliant. And fair enough, piggo, I get yer old school sentiments like such, but one must not generalise.

Listen pal, Pigheads kicking the arse of 30 now and if I wanna be a bit sentimental and dewy eyed about the past then I will be. Pighead takes orders from lots of people but never ever shall I be dictated to by somebody called "potty pete" . Face it buddy, the old sayings are by far the best. Heres an example:

Old Saying:
Act in haste, repent in leisure--Beautiful old saying urging us to think before we rush into soomething

New Saying:
All I wanna do is Zig a Zig Aah-- Horrible babble by 3 chicks and two lady boys.

As I said Old is Gold.

Burning Eclipse

"The cat has a hairy lad now" and "Oh, the haggis is in the oven for sure"

Both used by a mate of mine while playing poker, usually, if a dangerous looking flop comes up, or if someone is smoking in draw.

I quite like both.

yom 1

One I remember from being a young lad was if my da sent me to the shop he'd say "Dont be there till your back"

Also love - I wouldnt touch her with your's

and

If you took your mickey out to her it would pack its sac and leave home

Pighead

tdow wrote:

I wouldn't ride her into battle is a personal favourite . For example:

what do you think of that Mary one over there ?

Jaysus, I wouldn't ride her into battle :cool:

Excellent. Sayings slagging off ugly chicks are always welcome. The fact that you responded to Pigheads requets and gave an example for your saying makes it even better. The cool smiley at the end of your post was well merited.

gyppo

fwedrest wrote:

may your next sh1te be a hedgehog

I like that one:)

A few of my reliable phrases

In my hole/bollocks (depending on how vehement I want to get the point across)

or when asked to do something -
I'd sooner lick piss off a nettle.

Dyr

"shove it up your arse" is good, especially when preceeded by a polite remark

"would you like a polo mint?"

"oh no im fine thanks......" then just before polo mint offerer wanders out of earshot you spit "ye can shove em up yer arse"

hilarity invariably ensues

Board-in-work

I found these old nuggets.....

I'm as sick as a small hospital
I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child
She had a face on her like a well slapped a*se
Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit
My mouth's as dry as a nuns cr@ck
He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
As funny as a burning orphanage
He's so camp, he sh1te tent pegs
I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
I feel like a boiled sh1te (hungover)
(when leaving) I'm off like a debs dress
She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
As busy as the dalkey dole office
Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
As tight as a nun's knickers
I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn
Up and down like a hoor's knickers
No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt
I left her with a face like a painters radio
A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche
As fit as a butcher's dog
She ' s got more chins than a Chinese phone book
Not even the tide would take her out
Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her
Daz wouldn't shift her
Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
A sniper wouldn't take her out
Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a nettle

Icequeen

Pighead wrote:

Its good but Pighead wants examples so he can gauge the sort of person you are. As my dear old Granny used to say "Never a judge a person by the colour of their shoes, always try and judge them by the sayings they use"

Like, in what situation would you tell somebody to "blow it out your ar*e!"?

Oh sorry Pighead, it'd be in response to a smart or derogatory comment e.g:

"That dress makes you look fat"

Reply

"Blow it out your ar*e!"

mickith

a classic that the auld man used to say if you stubbed your toe or some such and youd be rithing in agony

"ah you'll be better before your twice married "

yom 1

her face is like lego - its in bits!

beans

"Back when pussy was a cat"

Back in the good ol' days

gyppo

She's got a sweet face..................like a chewed toffee.

Pighead

mickith wrote:

a classic that the auld man used to say if you stubbed your toe or some such and youd be rithing in agony

"ah you'll be better before your twice married "

a classic that the auld man used to say to me when I told him of my future aspirations to write crap on messageboards

"ah now son, never ever use the username mickith, as its an anagram of im thick."

Wise words Dad.

Icequeen

About an overweight person

"I'm sure s/he is very sweet, sure his/her blood's 90 % sugar"

Slow Motion

A friend of mine can oft be heart to say

"You can take a big lick of the but end of me b*llix"

lynchpin

"She is so hot that I would ride you riding her"

"Don't hate the player hate the game"

"I'm so hungry that I would eat a baby's arse through a tennis racket"

Icequeen

lynchpin wrote:

"Don't hate the player hate the game"

Would that not be classed as a more up to date spawn of the Ricki Lake culture?

Pighead

Icequeen wrote:

About an overweight person

"I'm sure s/he is very sweet, sure his/her blood's 90 % sugar"

Rubbish! Sayings have to be free flowing and able to roll of the tongue. It took me about 7 minutes to decipher that shambles you put up.

For instance heres an example of a free flowing saying "Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free"
Easy. Icequeen, Pighead shall be keeping an eye out for your future posts. There shall be a re-assessment of your work when you hit 50 posts. On your way.

Archeron

May your mickey turn to concrete, fall off and break your toes.

lynchpin

Icequeen wrote:

Would that not be classed as a more up to date spawn of the Ricki Lake culture?

Sorry but I still never tire of hearing it.

potty pete

Pighead wrote:

Listen pal, Pigheads kicking the arse of 30 now and if I wanna be a bit sentimental and dewy eyed about the past then I will be. Pighead takes orders from lots of people but never ever shall I be dictated to by somebody called "potty pete" . Face it buddy, the old sayings are by far the best. Heres an example:

Old Saying:
Act in haste, repent in leisure--Beautiful old saying urging us to think before we rush into soomething

New Saying:
All I wanna do is Zig a Zig Aah-- Horrible babble by 3 chicks and two lady boys.

As I said Old is Gold.

Zig a Zig Aah is not a saying.

Crucifix

"So is your face" or "So is yore ma" or "So is yore ma's face".

I also love that "I'll ______ you" one that someone mentioned.

Pighead

Archeron wrote:

May your mickey turn to concrete, fall off and break your toes.

He shoots, he scores. Bravo Archeron, thats the sort of classy saying Pigheads looking for. Icequeen could do with taking a leaf from your book. As me old Aunt Eileen used to say "Life is a stairway, some are going up, some are going down."

depadz

lynchpin wrote:

"She is so hot that I would ride you riding her"

"Don't hate the player hate the game"

"I'm so hungry that I would eat a baby's arse through a tennis racket"

alternatively:

"I'm so hungry that I could eat a knackers arse through a farmers gate"

"I'm so hungry that I could eat the balls off a low flying duck"

r3nu4l

"It'd be like throwin' a sausage up O'Connell street".

Can be used when someone says "I'd ride her" and you are thinking that perhaps plenty more have already done so.

Slow Motion

"She's so ugly a sniper wouldn't take her out"
(Insert he for she where appropriate)

FlutterinBantam

Some lippy teen is giving you gyp and actin tough "You got a great mouth for blowin your mother huh"

Backs them up a bit.

Fajitas!

tdow wrote:

I wouldn't ride her into battle is a personal favourite . For example:

what do you think of that Mary one over there ?

Jaysus, I wouldn't ride her into battle :cool:

Personal favourite of mine too.

Pighead

potty pete wrote:

Zig a Zig Aah is not a saying.

Of course it is ya big ninny. A saying is "Something that is said". Pighead said Zig aZig Aah, hence it's a saying. Listen potty pete you're dragging this thread way off topic with your spoiling tactics and obvious hidden agenda. As the old saying goes "Mess with fire, and you're gonna get burned"

potty pete

Pighead wrote:

Of course it is ya big ninny. A saying is "Something that is said". Pighead said Zig aZig Aah, hence it's a saying. Listen potty pete you're dragging this thread way off topic with your spoiling tactics and obvious hidden agenda. As the old saying goes "Mess with fire, and you're gonna get burned"

Hmm..fair enough. But it's non-sensical. Gibberish really. So it's not a saying in the traditional sense of the meaning. Whatever floats yer boat. Oh..there's one. Or is it?

Slow Motion

I'm quite fond of spoonerisms as well ! Example :

"He is as short as two thick planks"

Dyr

FlutterinBantam wrote:

Some lippy teen is giving you gyp and actin tough "You got a great mouth for blowin your mother huh"

Backs them up a bit.

"p**s off back to your broken home" is another good un for lippy delinquents. I learned that off my secondary school french teacher, god bless her

Earthhorse

I never boil me cabbage twice.

Save your breath for cooling your porridge.

Mossy Monk

Pighead wrote:

Not bad Mossy Monk. Lovely of you to ask and all that but could you please stay on topic and give me one of your favourite sayings? Good Lad.

The tide wouldn't take her out.

Pighead

potty pete wrote:

Hmm..fair enough. But it's non-sensical. Gibberish really. So it's not a saying in the traditional sense of the meaning. Whatever floats yer boat. Oh..there's one. Or is it?

Yes, yes it is. Bravo. As far as Pighead is concerned our feud is now over. Water under the bridge.
As you well know potty pete, the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, They must be felt by the heart

Slow Motion

"It's a small world, but I'd hate to have to paint it !"