Male opinion wanted

LegacyUser

Might know the answer but here goes.

What do guys think of a girl going home with them on the first night? Would it put you off seeing her again?


Basically met this guy last night just really clicked but in my drunken state ended up going home with him which is not typical behaviour for me. I'm just worried that I've messed things up before they had a chance to get off the ground?

The Roach

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Myself and my girlfriend met one drunken night and went home together that same night, and we're still together and happy.

To be honest, if a guy doesn't want to see you just because you slept together on the first night, then you're probably better off without him. If he's a guy worth having he'll want to see you again, and will be able to see for himself what kind of person you are. And since you said this wasn't typical behaviour for you, I personally would see the fact that you spent the night together as a compliment; there's obviously a strong attraction there.

Basically, don't second guess yourself. You did what felt right at the time, and there's no need to feel bad because of that. That's my opinion anyway!

Good luck.

humbert

There was actually a thread on after hours about this a while ago and the overwhelming opinion was that guys had no problem with it.

I met my last gf just like that, we clicked and didn't look back.

I think the main thing is that you BOTH clicked.

Conar

I met my girlfriend (8 years now) in the same way.

IMHO I think most decent guys wouldn't mind as long as they didn't get the impression you do it 7 nights a week.

melekalikimaka

its wouldn't put me off...if we clicked really well and i knew it was an exceptional case, i'd probably be flattered...but only if i knew...make sure he knows

Anti

Nothing wrong with it tbh.

stovelid

I would have no problem with it at all.

LegacyUser

I dont wanna sound bad or anything...but really guys....are you trying to say that if you meet a girl and she goes home with you that you havnt had a thought about how many other guys she may ahve gone home with on a first date?...which is a tad off putting!!

But before anyone comments...when i met my wife we "clicked"...and she ended up comming home with me....but i still had that question in the back of my head...till we talked about it.

Conar

kaiser1 wrote:

I dont wanna sound bad or anything...but really guys....are you trying to say that if you meet a girl and she goes home with you that you havnt had a thought about how many other guys she may ahve gone home with on a first date?...which is a tad off putting!!

But before anyone comments...when i met my wife we "clicked"...and she ended up comming home with me....but i still had that question in the back of my head...till we talked about it.

Well I hate the thought that my girlfriend was ever with anyone before me but I know thats my hang up and not her issue.
I guess most people just reckon that if its good enough for the goose its good enough for the gander and why let such trivial matters wreck what could be a great thing in the making.

Talliesin

Some men do have a low opinion of a woman that will sleep with them on a first date. Of course they have a low opinion of them for something that they just did themselves.

Me, if I'd been happy with it at the time I'd be happy with it afterwards too.

Wishbone Ash

kaiser1 wrote:

you havnt had a thought about how many other guys she may ahve gone home with on a first date?...which is a tad off putting!

Nah - the other lads wouldn't have had my charm and carisma. 14 years now with Mrs Wisbone Ash.

the_syco

kaiser1 wrote:

are you trying to say that if you meet a girl and she goes home with you that you havnt had a thought about how many other guys she may ahve gone home with on a first date?

Every 18yo guy thinks that unless the woman he is f**king was a virgin before she slept with him, she's a slut. Male mentality is a bit odd at times.

Conar

I can honestly say that I never thought that.

stovelid

kaiser1 wrote:

I dont wanna sound bad or anything...but really guys....are you trying to say that if you meet a girl and she goes home with you that you havnt had a thought about how many other guys she may ahve gone home with on a first date?...which is a tad off putting!!

That's them and I'm me. If I really liked her after the first meeting, I'd be more preoccupied with finding out more about her then worrying about past sexual cricket scores.

If I'm prepared to run off home with someone at the drop of a hat, I could hardly blame her for doing the same, then or now.

rediguana

regretful wrote:

Might know the answer but here goes.

What do guys think of a girl going home with them on the first night? Would it put you off seeing her again?


Basically met this guy last night just really clicked but in my drunken state ended up going home with him which is not typical behaviour for me. I'm just worried that I've messed things up before they had a chance to get off the ground?

I'm going abroad on Thursday week to celebrate my five-year anniversary with a girl who did the wild thing with me a small number of hours after she first met me. It's a plus for me. Slutty then, sluttier now. I love her

Zambia

Sorry I like a wee bit of restraint ,,, nothing over to long

SlyRax

I think it's a matter of personnal taste. The thing is if this is the first time you did it then he probably knows it's the first time you did it. Guys kinda know if a girl is slutty or not so he'll know your not

aye

personnaly it wouldnt bother me OP, but i do have male friends that say it would bother them.
i always why they think its ok for them to go home with the girl first not and not ok for her, they never have an answer for this.
its a very double standard way of thinking, and if a guy thinks that he probably isnt worth your time.

LegacyUser

Tried replying to this but page crashed so apologies if double post.

Guys thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply. I guess its still a fear of a double standards thing although it very much depends on individual situations. Like I said not typical behaviour for me which I did mention in passing but didnt wish to labour the point too much.

A lot of you seem to have met your significant other in this manner which gives me a little hope, so either things will be rosy or else I'll always have my "rebellious period" to look back on

LegacyUser

Normally it never works out,tho it only happend once or twice but i met my current gf like this and ive never loved anyone as much as i love this girl so it all depends on you and her and if u click or not,

Miss Judy

Did it once ( & I was very shy in that dept & thought one nighters as we called them were a disgrace!!:eek: ), felt dreadful the next day but married him and together 7 years & 2 kids later and I love him to bits, he loves me and we're best buddies. I did regret it for weeks afterwards even while we were "dating" could hardly look at him sometimes was paranoid he thought I was a bit of a you know what but I believe we were meant to be together and our kids are just amazing and without him I wouldn't have them so "what's for you won't pass you" as someone once told me!.;)

qwertyphobia

This is another one of thoes ones where I think women put a lot more though into then guys

I think most of my relationships started with a sexual hookup. The two off hand that didn't, I think it was a case of they didn't want to be seen to jump into bed straight away so waited one night and jumped into bed the next day

Icequeen

It'd be a bit of a cheek if he did mind since he did the exact same thing, don't stress about it and see what happens. If you don't hear from him then he's not worth it and move on to pastures new.

aye

Icequeen wrote:

It'd be a bit of a cheek if he did mind since he did the exact same thing, don't stress about it and see what happens. If you don't hear from him then he's not worth it and move on to pastures new.

exactly

toco123

All down to his own personality! Everyone will have a completely unique way of thinking about this situation!

Overheal

regretful wrote: »

What do guys think of a girl going home with them on the first night? Would it put you off seeing her again?

At that point I immediately disavow Atheism.

No, to answer your question, I would just think I had done something very right.

CDfm

I dont think it should matter but you should explain to him that its the first time you have done this because you are into him big time.

Bottle_of_Smoke

It might give him the impression you're not that into him and just into sex. I thought this about a girl and I was mistaken, ended up seeing her in that light and she got pretty hurt, by the time it dawned on me it was too late to fix things and it could have been more in retrospect.

I'd say discuss it, perhaps in a light hearted way, explain its not like you and you put it down to the fact that you really clicked.

suspectpackage

haha, well from my experience when a girl says, "I've never done this before", I think in my head, "are you kidding me here? hahahah" but of course I go along with it. I think on every one night stand I've had the girl has said, "I don't usually do this" or "I've never done this before". well, i guess they have to convince themselves they are still princesses! Plus they know the male ego well!

Its a shame though because a one night stand is nothing to be ashamed of!

hussey

If the guy doesn't get in contact with you again, it's not because you went home with him.

CDfm

OP - have you got in contact with him?

Joey the lips

regretful wrote: »

Might know the answer but here goes.

What do guys think of a girl going home with them on the first night? Would it put you off seeing her again?


Basically met this guy last night just really clicked but in my drunken state ended up going home with him which is not typical behaviour for me. I'm just worried that I've messed things up before they had a chance to get off the ground?

Becuase you have been sensitive enough to question yourself it would not bother me. However I would assume you done this before and possibly look for an STD test before I go on. It depends on weather or not we used protection the first time.

Guys do this all the time so why cant women I just think women are more sensitive. Tell him " I know you dont believe this but I dont usually do this...." The problem is now you will never know if he is with you cause he loves you or cause he is hopwin for the sex.

Just go with the flow. You've done it now. See where you end up.

Nervous Wreck

hussey wrote: »

If the guy doesn't get in contact with you again, it's not because you went home with him.

Was just about to say the same. Don't get too bogged down in it, OP. If he doesn't contact you, he doesn't contact you. No biggie. I'm sure you've kissed guys and never contacted them again so just look at this as the same type of thing. If you both really clicked, though, he probably will. Don't stress yourself about it anyway!

Dave!

I wouldn't dwell on it or give it a second thought unless her personality and other mannerisms betrayed her as a slapper/dope/gobsh*te.

Sleeping with someone on the first night does not a slapper make.

The Corinthian

regretful wrote: »

What do guys think of a girl going home with them on the first night? Would it put you off seeing her again?

If it does, it says more about the guy than the girl.

Das Kitty

It would be a bit hypocritical of the guy to think less of you for going home with him, it takes two to get jiggy.

However, I would be more careful about going home with a stranger whilst drunk, you said yourself it's not something you would normally do, I wouldn't be going alone with a stranger anywhere if I wasn't in my full senses.

Cormb

I don't think going home together on the first night is the relationship-death-knoll that people assume it is. If you both get on well and are happy to continue the relationship, thats the main thing.

Millie

Funnily I have always thought guys would think of me as a slapper if I slept with them on the first night & so it didn't happen very often & the last time it did was a long time ago.
That was up until two months ago when I did the deed on the first night & me and my boy are flying it since.
So obviously a lot of guys don't think like that & if you click then you just click.

tony1kenobi

CDfm wrote: »

OP - have you got in contact with him?

It was 2 years ago.

Wibbs

Yep it was 2 years ago. Zoooombie thread. Closed as by this stage she knows or doesn't.