baby and working parents

aukie

Hi all,

I'd like some feedback on the following.

My partner and I are thinking about having a baby. The thing is that we're both Dutch and we have no social network in Ireland. If this baby is born, we would both seek to work one day less. But still there would be 3 days in the week left, where we would have to get others to mind the baby.
Is it very expensive to find a child minder to look after the baby at home? I saw a thread about baby sitters and saw something about 50 euro per day. What do you get for that 50 euro. How do I find someone trustworthy. How do you guys do that.
Staying at home is just not an option for neither of us, because of the money and because I would go absolutely crazy as a stay home mum.

Thanks for your input.

loyatemu

3 days a week in a Creche, you're looking at mayvbe €600 per month in Dublin, less down the country. A private childminder would probably cost less again.

for Creche listings check here - http://www.ncna.net/

littlebug

This thread might help you figure out how much childminders charge.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055036283

Bear in mind that someone minding your child in your own home would probably charge more than if your child is going to their home.

I was new to my area when I got my childminder so I just asked around the few people I knew well enough to trust their judgement if they knew anyone suitable. I got a wonderful childminder and my kids are mad about her. Mine are usually just there for the morning so I send a small snack with them but if they are with her for a longer day she will provide a hot meal and drinks.

Something else to bear in mind is that some creches expect you to pay for the full week even if the child is only there 3 days.

Nevyn

Most child minders will mind your child in thier own home as they work for themselves if you are employing someone to work in your home then things are a lot differnt legeally.

deisemum

A lot of childminders have part time places others prefer full time places. Some childminders will provide all meals, snacks and drinks while others prefer you to supply everything. Some childminders charge as little as €25 per day others up to €50 per day but it depends on how many hours per day and if anything is supplied or not.

LegacyUser

I just find it so sad that in this day and age people need to have a personal financial audit to make the decision on starting a family. My little lad is now 6 weeks old and I really have to say, money will always come from somewhere.

we are still saving like mad to ensure my wife can take all the maternity leave she can. Ill also add that a child beingwith its mother for as long as possible really is the best. I come home from work and have a little play with my boy on his mat....but when my wife walks in the room and talks to me,its amazing the way my boy stops and listens and then starts to look for her voice...the bond between a child and his/her mother is VERY VERY strong!!

Anyway...sorry for not contributing to the thread in a constructive manner...but i really just wanted to give my 10 cents worth.

Snowbie

kaiser1 wrote:

I just find it so sad that in this day and age people need to have a personal financial audit to make the decision on starting a family. My little lad is now 6 weeks old and I really have to say, money will always come from somewhere.

we are still saving like mad to ensure my wife can take all the maternity leave she can. Ill also add that a child beingwith its mother for as long as possible really is the best. I come home from work and have a little play with my boy on his mat....but when my wife walks in the room and talks to me,its amazing the way my boy stops and listens and then starts to look for her voice...the bond between a child and his/her mother is VERY VERY strong!!

Anyway...sorry for not contributing to the thread in a constructive manner...but i really just wanted to give my 10 cents worth.

Agreed 100%.My fourth is due next month and herself is finally quitting work.I have asked her before our third would she like to quit but again financial commitments always took hold.
Her sister has been minding our children for 8 years now and have always felt that herself had been missing out after maternity leave ended.Not that im against stay at home dads but i think the maternal bond betwen mother and child is precious at an early age.Imho
But as ever there is different circumstances with different people involved nowadays.

Bobser

We advertisied locally and got loads of replies. There are plenty of mothers out there who don't mind looking after another child if they already have a couple of their own. Getting a good one is always in the lap of the Gods though

aukie

kaiser1 wrote:

I just find it so sad that in this day and age people need to have a personal financial audit to make the decision on starting a family. My little lad is now 6 weeks old and I really have to say, money will always come from somewhere.
.

You're absolutely right that it is sad. But aside from the financial necessity, I must admit that I can't imagine myself being a stay at home mum. I think I would go absolutely balistic if I had no other input than the baby. On the other hand I am not pregnant yet, so maybe I'll sing another tune ones I do have a baby.

And admitting, Ireland is not bad with the maternity leave that women are entitled to. 24 (or is it 26) weeks is quite a long time. For instance, The Netherlands have only 16.

And what I find most apalling is that men only get 3 days, if any at all. Why shouldn't they be granted a couple of weeks with the new bonr and the mum. I think babies could equally bond with the date if he would be around as much as the mum is in those first few months.

BostonB

Not everyone wants to stay at home and I think its good for you to retain a bit of a life outside the home. I would be wary of sweeping generalisations about kids being better at home with a parent. Kids vary enormously and some benefit a lot from mixing with other kids and minders.

deisemum

As a childminder I've found that all the mothers of the children I mind or have minded over the years changed their work patterns at different stages. Some chose to stay at home on a full time basis until their child was 3 and started playschool, others when they started school then the mums returned to work and needed part-time childcare. Others reduced their hours and only worked mornings or 3 days a week. Others went back to work full time when youngest child started playschool they reduced their hours and only worked mornings. It's the same with most of my friends. Work patterns changed as circumstances changed.

Also you wont know how you'll feel about staying at home until you have the baby. You could be very surprised either way.

deebm

yeh the 26 weeks is fantastic on a max salary of €280 per week, the men/fathers get 3 days paid leave in my work place, and i dont get a cent

Thats fair ok

RIRI

BostonB wrote:

Not everyone wants to stay at home and I think its good for you to retain a bit of a life outside the home. I would be wary of sweeping generalisations about kids being better at home with a parent. Kids vary enormously and some benefit a lot from mixing with other kids and minders.

I couldn't agree more - my little lad is with a childminder since he was 16 weeks old & he loves it. He gets to mix with other kids, my childminder takes them out and about regularly & she's been teaching them the alphabet & their colours & numbers & so on. We pay €40 per day & it;s worth every penny. Personally I would like to have had a real choice as to whether I wanted to go out to work or not. Sadly financial issues ment I had no choice but to go back when I did. That said I probably would choose to work anyway.

nesf

kaiser1 wrote:

I just find it so sad that in this day and age people need to have a personal financial audit to make the decision on starting a family. My little lad is now 6 weeks old and I really have to say, money will always come from somewhere.

we are still saving like mad to ensure my wife can take all the maternity leave she can. Ill also add that a child beingwith its mother for as long as possible really is the best. I come home from work and have a little play with my boy on his mat....but when my wife walks in the room and talks to me,its amazing the way my boy stops and listens and then starts to look for her voice...the bond between a child and his/her mother is VERY VERY strong!!

Anyway...sorry for not contributing to the thread in a constructive manner...but i really just wanted to give my 10 cents worth.

I agree with you but I really don't blame people for working out whether they can afford the mortgage + bills et al before choosing to try. Ideally you want to have everything set up so you'll be able to devote all your attention to the new arrival and not to worrying about the finances, work etc.

Of course, that rarely happens for most people and you just have to get over it and adapt.


Now I just need to figure out a way to explain to a 9 month old that daddy has exams in the morning and needs some peace and quiet...

karen3212

As far as I know, looking at research the UK did recently, they've been going big time for early start programmes.

This is only research I've seen so I don't have all current information available.

Now to what I read, it's best for a mother to be at home with a child for the first two years. Of course that is if a mother is happy to be at home with a child. There is no point in having a woman at home with a child who is unhappy staying at home. This is no good for a child. Also not having an income of her own may give some men unbalanced power over their wives or wives unbalanced power over stay at home dads, so one would need to ensure that a stay at home parents are paid for staying at home so that they don't feel completely dependant on husband/wife etc.

After that it says it is best from 2 yrs on to have a child attend some kind of creche or playgroups for x hours a week. please forgive me as I've forgotten the number it recommended.

I can't remember the name of the research, but thought I'd mention what i remember.
Sorry if it's a bit off topic

SarahMc

Karen, if its the Penelope Leach research you are referring to, the reseach found that its was better for mother to mind for 1st 18 months (it was a huge error that it only measured mothers and not parents), 2nd was childminder, 3rd grandparent and lastly creche.

I don't recollect it suggesting that pre-school was important after that, but it is generally accepted that some pre-school education at age 3-4 is very beneficial.

karen3212

SarahMc wrote:

Karen, if its the Penelope Leach research you are referring to, the reseach found that its was better for mother to mind for 1st 18 months (it was a huge error that it only measured mothers and not parents), 2nd was childminder, 3rd grandparent and lastly creche.

I don't recollect it suggesting that pre-school was important after that, but it is generally accepted that some pre-school education at age 3-4 is very beneficial.

Hi sorry but I still can't remember the name of the research or who did it.

But I half remember that it was one of the reasons for a big push for more facilities for younger kids, and as far as I can remember it was from 2 yrs.

However as I say I can't really remember the whole thing, just hope that parents out there will look at various sources for their information - and I know parents know their own kids better than anyone else!!!

I must have a look at that woman's research, thanks for the reference.

jpk1976

One thing I would advise you to do is contact your local authority which should have a list of registered,trained and certified childminders in your area(Kildare does anyway)-then ring around to find who will best suit your needs before meeting them to check their facilities and credentials.
My girlfriend and I too this route and found a fantastic childminder who was willing to take our little one for 3 days a week at E40 a day-as i work shift and am off for 2 weekdays every week and a creche would charge for the full week.
Also,and most importantly our little girl gets one on one attention and top class care.