relationship prob!...well kinda!

LegacyUser

being goin out with my gf over a year and a half now and everything is great except for one thing and its kinda got me down atm!! we havnt really got a physical aspect to our relationship any more because of her upcoming exams(collage) and it caused to much worrying aparently. we dont really do anything but kiss and have never had sex. everytime we talk about it she says she doesnt want to have sex for a good while. im not the kind to put any pressure her either! i knew this was her view on it since we started going out and i respect that but i thought a year later that things would have progressed slightly! it wouldnt be so bad if we had some sort of a physical relationship but we dont at the moment!(everyone has needs!) am i being a bit selfish over it? and im starting to wonder is she using her exams as a scapecoat?

i just need an outside perspective on things!

LegacyUser

if you love her, give her time,

if you just want sex, set her free,

if it's been a year and she hasn't even touched your knob she has issues.

SarahSassy

I would give her til after her exams - when are they May or June (and whats 2 more months) and sit her down and talk this out.... Then she has no more 'excuses'.

Obviously you have been very patient with her and in her defense she told you where she stood on this from the start. My advice would be to let her get the exams out of the way and see what happens then. If at this stage, she does not want to have any more intimate contact with you, including sex, I think you need to decide if you can live with this. She may be scared of getting pregnant, nervous about her first time etc or maybe she is just not very sexual.... You will know from her response.

Kell

Unre555555 wrote:

everytime we talk about it she says she doesnt want to have sex for a good while.

Has she said why? I hate fúckers that hit you with that school yard "just because" shíte and expect you to buy it.

What you need OP, is a reason as to why she is holding off so you can make an informed decision as to whether you want to continue to hold out.

K-

OLDYELLAR

I think you really need to talk to your girlfrend about this.

Its quite a long time to go out with somebody and not sleep with them and not talk about why yere not sleeping together.

Id honestly have to say I doubt the exams are a reason why , I dont know anybody thats been that into exams that itd go to the extent of putting them off sex , exam stress does not last a year and a half . No there must be some other reason behind it , the only solution is speak to her , honesty really is the best policy.
Only your girlfriend knows. Good luck with it.

akw_old

if she has college exams i'm presuming she is over 18 and not a kid anymore.
sounds like she has a made a big thing about having sex in her mind and cant get over it.
i would just ask her what the story is. is she scared of getting pregnant, maybe she had a scrae when she was young or something.

Mr. Incognito

hmmmmmm.

The entire lack of a physical relationship is a big thing. If she was holding back on full sex, wll that's to based on one's own moral judgement, but a entire disregard for anything. Talk to her and ask her why?

Did somethning happen? Does she find the idea disguisting? etc.

I was in your shoes once and the girl told me that I'd have to wait a year, FOR ANYTHING! I wasn't ready to wait. I think a full relationship includes sex.

LegacyUser

well we use to have a physical aspect to our relationship but it stopped after we went on a break bout 8months ago. were both 18btw and shes doin collage exams. she seems to think that when we do those things that shes slutty even though i re-assure her. every time i go to talk about it she goes all quiet and weird. its annoying cause i do love her and i really want to have a full relationship. im a patient guy but this is really testing me. im just going to have to wait till her exams are over and approach it then and see whats what.

dr.bollocko

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO END A RELATIONSHIP IF IT DOES NOT MEET YOUR PHYSICAL NEEDS.
Sorry to shout. I had to get that one out of the way initially because it is an important one. Everyone has different sexual apettites. Some people's attitudes towards sex are at loggerheads with others. Personally, this sounds like one of those all-too-heartbreaking first relationship type relationships, where things go drastically wrong in a dawsons creek stylee until you are crying into an empty bottle of whiskey. I dont think that this woman is ever going to satisfy you physically.

It's all down to what you are willing to wait for.
One person could view your relationship as you being wrapped around the little finger of a girl based on even the subtle hint that at one time in the future you might eventually, maybe, get to have some sort of orgasm in her company.
Another person might view it as a refreshing change that sex is off the table in a young relationship, or view you as an asshole for pressing this girl for sex when she isnt ready yet.
I dont really buy either. She has a right to not have sex. You have a right to have sex. She doesnt want sex. You want sex. She wants to wait, you don't. Therefore, you should probably call the whole thing off...

I dont know if the chick is just cautious, waiting till marriage, virginal, or whatever, but it points to an underlying immaturity in the relationship, and some core problems too if you have no physical intimacy.

oceansize

Get rid of her, maybe she doesn't fancy you. You could also try getting her plastered. That usally brings out the truth.

Harsh, but true, i dont think she's physically attracted to ya mate

_Kaiser_

Read the follow-up from the OP folks...

They DID have a physical relationship until they got back together after a break. My question then would be what happend in this time that you weren't together, as it's more than likely the cause for her change of attitude to the whole thing now.

In either case though, you do need to sit down together and talk it out..

SarahSassy

patient guy!! wrote:

well we use to have a physical aspect to our relationship but it stopped after we went on a break bout 8months ago. were both 18btw and shes doin collage exams. she seems to think that when we do those things that shes slutty even though i re-assure her. every time i go to talk about it she goes all quiet and weird.

Right this is not normal behaviour but she is YOUNG. Just cos she is physically old enough to have sex doesnt mean she is mentally....... Why did you have the break? It seems to have killed the desire in her and maybe she doesnt want a full relationship and doesnt have the nerve to tell you she wants to finish. I think this is the reality of it.

As for her saying she feels slutty there is something not right there.... Has someone said something to her?? I guess she feels too young to be sexually active.

On another note, you are both still young - 18- and while I am all for having sex you are still young and there is no huge hurry.