Ex can't let go

LegacyUser

I'm a girl in my late teens, and my ex-boyfriend of three years (who is three years older) is making life very difficult.
He was my first real boyfriend and I was quite young when we started going out, I was very easily led and soon I became very absorbed in him and he was the only person I cared about. But, he was manipulative, posessive and controlling and I lost a lot of friends because of him.
There's no need to bore you with the details of the relationsip but I broke up with him about 10 months ago. since then he has gotten a new girlfriend. the thing is, he goes out of his way to be in the same place as me with her. They ring me sometimes and she has threatened me telling me that I have to stop ringing him (I don't even have the guy's number, I couldn't even ring him if I wanted)
Anyway, last night we were in the smae place. They followed me round the niteclub all night, smoking beside me and at one stage of the night when he was passing me on his own he actually pinched my bum. I want to get this guy out of my life, I don't want to have to see him when I go out. He's obviously still hung up on it because I see him looking at me, and why else would he go to all this trouble?!
How do I get through to him that he's wasting his time?

Trinity

Change your number OP and stop frequenting your usual haunts.

Others may disagree and say why should you but he sounds like an ex of mine and the best thing you can do is avoid him.

You could also lodge a complaint with the gardai if it goes any further.

If they have this kind of mentality, then you dont know what they are capable. SOUnds like he and the new girl and just made for each other so leave them to it and avoid them/him at all costs.

Talliesin

Yep, change your number and lean towards other haunts.

matt-dublin

how exactly does he know where you're going to be if you're not telling him?

akw_old

get a boyfriend who is bigger than him. i'm free

ShowUsYourXbox

Just ask one of your male friends to stick around when he's about.

LegacyUser

akw wrote:

get a boyfriend who is bigger than him. i'm free

Cool, anyone from hottie ville can't be bad.


matt-dublin, there aren't a lot of places to go where I'm from, it wouldn't be hard to find me

limklad

Unregreg wrote:

he was manipulative, posessive and controlling and I lost a lot of friends because of him.

Unregreg wrote:

since then he has gotten a new girlfriend. the thing is, he goes out of his way to be in the same place as me with her.

This is stalking, You cannot allow anyone to force you to move haunts. Move else where and he wins as he know he has some control and still can affect you.

Unregreg wrote:

They ring me sometimes and she has threatened me telling me that I have to stop ringing him (I don't even have the guy's number, I couldn't even ring him if I wanted)
Anyway, last night we were in the smae place. They followed me round the niteclub all night, smoking beside me and at one stage of the night when he was passing me on his own he actually pinched my bum. I want to get this guy out of my life, I don't want to have to see him when I go out. He's obviously still hung up on it because I see him looking at me, and why else would he go to all this trouble?!
How do I get through to him that he's wasting his time?

Next Time in the Pub whatever public and they are close to you. You will need to make a scene and tell him and in front of her to stop stalking, abusing and threatening you. Also mentioned that you will go legal with the guards and you can get phone records to prove that the ringing is one way ONLY. If they claim, there is a record on his phone, get someone independent to check the number on his phone and compare to yours.

I also find it strange that you do not have his number after all, he was your boyfriend and when he calls I sure his number would appear, unless he has it turn off all of the time. Phone records will prove it either way.

Mini

I think the best thing to do if you are really serious is to give all of your usual places a wide berth for a while and then consider changing your number.

The new girlfriend by the sounds of it is as peed off as you are. So be the wise one in this scenario and make the break from what you are used to.

it will be better for you in the end.

jimmycrackcorm

Get a solicitors letter advising legal action if he doesn't stop stalking and calling you. Then carry it with you and the next time you meet them out give it to his girlfriend so that she knows it's not you.

LegacyUser

Limklad, I know his old number (off-by heart still) but he's changed it to an 083 number. Always has to be better than everyone else. Cheers for the great advice btw

You see this could go now another 3 months and I won't even see him, and I'll begin to think that's it over and done with, then on a night out, there he'll be. I've decided to give it another while, if I get one more call I'm going to the guards. But can I prove anything with calls from private number?

Victor

akw wrote:

get a boyfriend who is bigger than him. i'm free

Get a room or I'll ban you.

Unregreg wrote:

You see this could go now another 3 months and I won't even see him, and I'll begin to think that's it over and done with, then on a night out, there he'll be. I've decided to give it another while, if I get one more call I'm going to the guards. But can I prove anything with calls from private number?

The Garda can find out the number behind the call.

Mr. Incognito

All he wants is attention. Don't give it to him.

Just ignore his childish behaviour. He'll get lost eventually once he sees he's not affecting you.