Condoms in schools??

ROCKMAN

Just watched a debate on American TV show about giving Condoms to 8th Grades , i am not sure what age 8th graders are, but it got me thinking..

Would you support or fight a similar idea in Ireland or As a parent would you buy/supply condoms for your own teens and if so at what age?

Opinions please!

Pherekydes

Hey another sex thread! Why not in AH mods?

On a serious note, sex is for adults, not children, and if they're adults they can jolly well buy their own condoms.

Overheal

American kids can already go into a General Hospital and get condoms anytime...

ROCKMAN

Yes i debated where to post this thread ,

Firstly

Just like to see how and if Irish society has changed.

Secondly (more important)
As a parent of two (and as parenting is a learning curve in my opinion )
I posted here in the hope of getting more experienced views and opinions which may help me and my partner with any future decisions we may have to make.

Pherekydes

ROCKMAN wrote:

Yes i debated where to post this thread ,

Firstly

Just like to see how and if Irish society has changed.

Secondly (more important)
As a parent of two (and as parenting is a learning curve in my opinion )
I posted here in the hope of getting more experienced views and opinions which may help me and my partner with any future decisions we may have to make.

This is the right place for the thread; I was being facetious. See the smiley.

I don't want my older kids having sex in my house. It's my house and I'll make the rules. I don't want my younger kids finding used condoms in the kitchen wastebin (as I have on one occasion).

I'm not paying for someone else's condoms!

metrovelvet

Eight grade is second year in Ireland.

They can give out all the condoms they want, its not like they'll get used. Stick the pill in their ready brek.

My friend who taught in a NYC catholic highschool used to have to attend her students babyshowers in the cafeteria duriung their lunch hours.

littlebitdull

I would not be happy with the school giving out condoms. And could not see most parents going with it either.

Second year student are between the ages of 13 and 15 ... so under current laws here in Ireland they would be underage and should not be having sex anyway.

However, a lot of them are experimenting. I know I was by 15. And I was certainly sexauly active by the age my son is now - 16. I know he has condoms, have been finding them for a year now.

I used these discoveries to discuss the matter with him, to stress that he needs to be aware that they are not foolproof, and even more importantly that he needs to be in a loving and commited relationship to be having sex.

Would I buy them for him? Not yet. But in next years christmas stocking I will more than likely pop a packet in!!

At the end of the day, teenagers will have sex. I would rather he was protected ... and I would also rather not be a grandparent yet.

pokerwidow

Maybe not second year, bit too young. But I cannot see the problem with giving out free condoms to over 16s. I will encourage my children to practice safe sex when they are teenagers, so condoms and other forms of contraceptives will be discussed in full. I have a bit of a wait though, my eldest will be eight this year so my opinion might change in eight years (?) time.

Crea

Wasn't there a report recently saying the majority of schools don't even teach proper sex education?
I think that's more of a priority than giving out condoms who aren't even legally allowed to have sex.
I don't think it's the schools place to give out condoms. When I was at school I was going out with a guy in the school next door. One of his teachers offered to get him condoms and I thought this was a completely inappropriate interference. I had no intention of having sex with this guy and the teacher putting her oar in put me under pressure. I think there's enough pressure put on kids to have sex.
Certainly the schools should teach about birth control, STDs and give the kids moral guidance in relation to sex but handing out birth control is going too far.

pokerwidow

Crea wrote:

Wasn't there a report recently saying the majority of schools don't even teach proper sex education?
I think that's more of a priority than giving out condoms who aren't even legally allowed to have sex.
I don't think it's the schools place to give out condoms. When I was at school I was going out with a guy in the school next door. One of his teachers offered to get him condoms and I thought this was a completely inappropriate interference. I had no intention of having sex with this guy and the teacher putting her oar in put me under pressure. I think there's enough pressure put on kids to have sex.
Certainly the schools should teach about birth control, STDs and give the kids moral guidance in relation to sex but handing out birth control is going too far.

God, what was she thinking? Totally agree about the sex education but we as parents have to step up and not depend on schools.

The thing about condoms being free is that the cost of them might prohibit some teenagers from using them but then again they do seem to have alot of money to spend on other things.

Jotter

I think the free thing isnt so much about the cost, more that the teenagers dont want to be seen buying condoms or be embarressed by doing so. And no id have no problem with schools handing out condoms provided they had a good sex ed to go along with it - otherwise whats the point!

metrovelvet

What about parents who are in denial and refuse to educate their kids or where money is tight and cant afford condoms?

The reality is kids are starting a lot younger than 15. I was told by an Irish sociology lecturer that 1 out of 5 girls in the maternity wards are so young their breasts arent developed enough to breastfeed.

Its also ridiculous to compare with the US where we [at least in the North East] have a very good sex ed programme, but to get an abortion as a minor without your parents permission is easier than getting an aspiring from your school principal.

Also, there is more to worry about these days than pregnancy. Unprotected sex is not just stupid, it can be fatal.

simu

metrovelvet wrote:

The reality is kids are starting a lot younger than 15. I was told by an Irish sociology lecturer that 1 out of 5 girls in the maternity wards are so young their breasts arent developed enough to breastfeed.

Sounds like utter bs - our teen pregnancy rate isn't that high. The average age of first time mothers is rising all the time.

To answer the original question: I think condoms should be available freely to those who want them but giving them to all teens automatically is imposing a life choice of some teens on all. Do the poor nerdy teens who have never had a girl or boy friend need that sort of pressure? :-p

Nevyn

I don't think it should be done in schools.
Contraception is free to under 25s in the uk in clinics they should have the same here.

limklad

pokerwidow wrote:

God, what was she thinking?

STDs and unwanted pregenices and know these teenagers that when these teenagers who wants sex will have it.


Many teachers know more about kids than there parents do, who are in denial.

They see them with their friends and hear them talking and flirting. They see what going on and see the changes happening years after years and it is getting worst.

How does parents react when there kids got STDs and unwanted pregenices?
Who will they start blaming? The teachers!

limklad

ROCKMAN wrote:

Secondly (more important)
As a parent of two (and as parenting is a learning curve in my opinion )
I posted here in the hope of getting more experienced views and opinions which may help me and my partner with any future decisions we may have to make.

Good on you, you have brilliantly taking the first few steps, that many parents failed or in denial or blaming others for their problems or leaving it to others to do the work for them.
Keep it going.

Blisterman

Well, the simple fact is, teenagers are going to have sex, whether you give out condoms in schools or not.
In my opinion, it's better to ensure they're doing it safely, and are provided with protection, and educated about it, than waiting until they're legally old enough to do it.

EDIT:
Actually, I think kids should be provided with the option to take them, rather than be given them, but they should be easily available.
And I don't mean, having to go to the principal's office. Maybe a dispenser in the toilets.

Lynfo

When I was in 5th class - I guess I was about 11 at that time - my class got our 'sex education'. Looking back on it now, it's completely laughable, the woman who 'taught' us didn't answer some of the questions we asked because she thought they were unsuitable. As a result, I was not given a proper education regarding sex. I grew up not caring whether condoms were used or not because while I knew there was a chance of getting pregnant, i hadn't a clue about STDs. I think that schools should
(a) provide a proper weekly/monthly sex education class, not just a couple of hours with some woman who is too embarrassed to talk about it in detail, and
(b) provide condoms to students, and show them how to use them

What's the point of giving out free condoms if they're going to be used as balloons?

Beruthiel

ROCKMAN wrote:

As a parent of two (and as parenting is a learning curve in my opinion )
I posted here in the hope of getting more experienced views and opinions which may help me and my partner with any future decisions we may have to make.

Start the education early.
I left a kids book in my daughters bedroom when she was four, it detailed in little pics what adults get up to and where babies come from.
She asked the questions when she was interested and got the correct answers. None of that under a cabbage crap.
By the time 14 came along she was told about ever STI you could catch and what she should be doing before even thinking of sex. She knows everything she needs to know and if she were to get preggers now it's through her own stupidity.

Many parents cannot broach a subject like this head on, that imo is a complete lack of parenting and kids are just left to work things out. For kids like that, condoms should be available as Thaed said in clinics, schools should stick to educating properly on the subject. If a proper education was in place I believe kids would be more responsible. Condoms can be bought just about anywhere now.

limklad

Lynfo wrote:

What's the point of giving out free condoms if they're going to be used as balloons?

Yip, more precisely water balloons , I know because that what I and many of my friends would have done this.

Hey, at least they learn how much pressure the condoms take before bursting and that they can expand no matter the size.

Kids (and us adults :eek: ) will always have fun with these things.

limklad

Lynfo wrote:

When I was in 5th class - I guess I was about 11 at that time - my class got our 'sex education'. Looking back on it now, it's completely laughable, the woman who 'taught' us didn't answer some of the questions we asked because she thought they were unsuitable. As a result, I was not given a proper education regarding sex.

Lynfo wrote:

(a) provide a proper weekly/monthly sex education class, not just a couple of hours with some woman who is too embarrassed to talk about it in detail, and

It is difficult to talk to young kids about these things. The embarrassment in itself is a poor excuse. My moto here is “Short term embarrassment, mean long term gain”. I.e. No additional kids or unwanted presents (STDs’). I personally go through the embarrassment, rather than finding out that any future kids of mines getting STDs by not having them suffering from it.

Yes, kids make mistakes as so many of us adults do and no matter what we tell them. We need to be there to support them and give them understanding by talking (not lecturing) and answering their questions (NO MATTER HOW EMBARRASING) and tell them of our experiences (not extreme details) and others to get them through it. This way they might be more mature about it..

Jotter

We actually had a similar discussion about this in the pub the other nite. A friend of mine has a sister whos 15 and the stuff her and her friends get up to is nothing short of pornographic, shes really worried about her. From talking to her sister she said the friends all use protection (TG) and some are on the pill its more that they dont just have sex, its gone a bit further than that which I find really disturbing. I know some of the kids in question and I was shocked as they are all nice decent kids from very normal families. I think schools have to go back to the drawing board and show that sex isnt a game, we had people come into our school who were teenage mothers or who had stds and it worked well for most of us - as far as I know. A lot of my friends in the 20 - 35 age group arent so vigilant about safe sex although theyre happy to preach it so maybe its workplaces we need to be giving the condoms out in !!!

Nevyn

A lot of kids are growing up and figuring out 'the facts' with out any moral grounding on it at or an understanding of the emotional and phyc effect that sex can have.

Sex parties and partner swaping is not the preserve of sex clubs and middle aged people at certain dinners anymore.

The whole it feels good lets do it just as along as no one get pregnant is becoming the way they are looking at things.

Victor

littlebitdull wrote:

Would I buy them for him? Not yet. But in next years christmas stocking I will more than likely pop a packet in!!

:eek:
Just keep them away from the heat of the firepalce.

CrazyRabbit

When I was a young teen, I knew 12 year olds who were sexually active with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Crazy I know, and totally inappropriate, but it happens!

Of course it's better to educate them so that they don't have sex until they are old enough, but you can't keep an eye on them 24/7 and they may choose to have sex at any age. So, do you keep condoms away from them and hope they don't end up a mum/dad, or do you give them the option of using a condom?

I think having access to condoms won't encourage sex, it only encourages safe sex should it happen.

Selphie

Crea wrote:

Wasn't there a report recently saying the majority of schools don't even teach proper sex education?

I'm in sixth year. In my fourteen years of education, we have had three days of sex ed. One back in sixth class where a batty old lady came around with a laminated chart shrieking, "THIS IS SPERM. CAN YOU SEE IT? DO YOU KNOW WHAT SPERM IS?" Another in fourth year, which wasn't so much sex ed, more personal ed, as in it told us what our first period would be like (little too late there) and personal hygiene and slipped in a little bit about condoms.
The last one was back in fifth year, which, tbh, scared us all to death. The girl giving it outlined every STI you could ever get, aswell as everything dealt with it. Told us all about different forms of contraception, brought us through pregnancy from copulation to birth. Now that was a fantastic talk, and we were discussing it for days, but it was years too late. You need one every year at least. We sometimes got people from CURA in telling us what to do if we ever got pregnant, but before fifth year we never had anyone telling us anything else.