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Girlfriends Parents..

  • 25-03-2007 01:03AM
    #1
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    ok, So I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 3 months now, easily the best 3 months of my life, but today disaster struck.... Her father comes in and just shouts at her she cant see me anymore, for no reason AT ALL! I've have met her dad many times and cant see what I have done to do this. nor what she has done..

    I just dont know what to do.... Im so upset now, and have lost all hope in my pittyful life...:( :(:(:(:(:(


Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 290 ✭✭Tak3n


    what age are you...?

    surely shes old enough to stand up to her parents..


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    We are both 16.. Her father is a abusive **** and her mother doesnt say anything..........


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 290 ✭✭Tak3n


    Difficult age for parents haha :D
    Has your relationship reached sex? do her parents know or could they have found out that uve done more than just a kiss on the cheek.. ?


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    Guess it is, but still no reason to do that extream..
    no sex, just kissing and some feeling like.. and we do that very discreetly..


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 290 ✭✭Tak3n


    I dont know you or her parents so all i can suggest is talking to them about it but i doubt they would take a 16 year old seriously :rolleyes: ..
    what has she said about it.. ?

    edit : 3 months and still no lay? damn.. that sucks dude :D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,240 ✭✭✭✭Fanny Cradock


    Tak3n wrote:

    edit : 3 months and still no lay? damn.. that sucks dude :D

    Oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    Tak3n wrote:
    I dont know you or her parents so all i can suggest is talking to them about it but i doubt they would take a 16 year old seriously :rolleyes: ..
    what has she said about it.. ?

    edit : 3 months and still no lay? damn.. that sucks dude :D
    We will try and talk to them about it and why..

    And yup 3 months, dont wanna rush anything..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
    Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
    Have a nice day.
    Thaedydal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    R_H_C_P wrote:
    We will try and talk to them about it and why..

    And yup 3 months, dont wanna rush anything..
    You are right do not rush until you are both ready and if you do - use protection, and do not get her into more trouble.

    As to your problem, if you love her, Keep supporting her. Been in an abusive family is hard. If her parents cannot talk in a mature manner then you have to play the waiting game. Since you mention you have met him several times, if possible do try to find out what was his deal. Someone could be telling tales to piss him off, or he just had another bad day and was letting off steam.

    Just note that time is on your side, not her parents. Good on you for sticking in there, some fellas would have done a runner with an abusive girlfriends' father on their tail.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    ^Thanks man, And I will try to. Dont know who would do. but their are some spineless bastards out their I guess.. Letting off steam is what I was saying to her, So Im hoping that was it, and that it will blow over tomoro..
    I really hope everything turns out well.. We will try and continue to see eachother after school etc. and during lunch, but it wont be easy :(


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 171 ✭✭Hoops1888


    R_H_C_P wrote:
    Guess it is, but still no reason to do that extream..
    no sex, just kissing and some feeling like.. and we do that very discreetly..

    You started a thread In Janurary saying you and your girlfriend are ready for sex :confused: guess you never got around to it.

    Seriously though there should be a boards for people under 18 or something.

    Oh to stay in subject if it was my daughter you would be getting a boot up the hole.

    Men however have bad day's let thing's lay low for awhile maybe he lost a few quids on the horses or something. Ireland won today cant see why any man would be In a bad mood :D


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    Hoops1888 wrote:
    You started a thread In Janurary saying you and your girlfriend are ready for sex :confused: guess you never got around to it.

    Seriously though there should be a boards for people under 18 or something.

    Oh to stay in subject if it was my daughter you would be getting a boot up the hole.

    Men however have bad day's let thing's lay low for awhile maybe he lost a few quids on the horses or something. Ireland won today cant see why any man would be In a bad mood :D
    Ya, I took peoples advice and decided to take our time with it..
    And why would I get a kick up the hole? Because I love her?:confused: :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,638 ✭✭✭PeakOutput


    R_H_C_P wrote:
    ok, So I have been going out with my girlfriend for over 3 months now, easily the best 3 months of my life, but today disaster struck.... Her father comes in and just shouts at her she cant see me anymore, for no reason AT ALL! I've have met her dad many times and cant see what I have done to do this. nor what she has done..

    I just dont know what to do.... Im so upset now, and have lost all hope in my pittyful life...:( :(:(:(:(:(


    your last line is a bit over the top chill out a bit

    assuming he was not drunk when he said it he must have a reason,even if its just in his head, but the chances of you getting it out of him are slim tbh as he will jsut think you are challenging him and probably get more aggresive

    its tough because at the end of the day you are still too young to tell him not to talk to her like that but old enough to see the injustice of it. i would leave it a lweek or so(not with her but with just going to the house) and then go again hen you know he will be there to test the water

    if you were a bit older id be telling you to be a lot more proactive in confronting him or whatever but its prob better off to be as inconspicuous as possible if you know what im trying to say


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,638 ✭✭✭PeakOutput


    Hoops1888 wrote:
    Seriously though there should be a boards for people under 18 or something.

    Oh to stay in subject if it was my daughter you would be getting a boot up the hole.

    only under 18's would go to the bored so it would be kids getting advice of kids(say that in a way that is less partronising i couldnt think of one) which is a terrible idea. much better they can ask here and get a mature and thought out response to their question.


    id love to know why youd give him a kick aswell :p


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    PeakOutput wrote:
    your last line is a bit over the top chill out a bit

    assuming he was not drunk when he said it he must have a reason,even if its just in his head, but the chances of you getting it out of him are slim tbh as he will jsut think you are challenging him and probably get more aggresive

    its tough because at the end of the day you are still too young to tell him not to talk to her like that but old enough to see the injustice of it. i would leave it a lweek or so(not with her but with just going to the house) and then go again hen you know he will be there to test the water

    if you were a bit older id be telling you to be a lot more proactive in confronting him or whatever but its prob better off to be as inconspicuous as possible if you know what im trying to say
    It maybe, but man I feel lie crap....

    Well I only go to her in the weekends like, once a week.. So like he cant say Im controlling her etc.. I dont know...:(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 428 ✭✭Selphie


    I don't know if my two cents worth'll be of much help, but here goes anyway. Something the same happened with my parents, except neither of them were abusive. When I started going out with my boyfriend, they were happy enough, but once they realised that it was actually lasting a bit longer than the few weeks they were expecting, they flipped out completely. My father lives in Dublin so wasn't involved much but my mother completely over-reacted. She forced me to go on the pill after we'd being going out for two months even though it wasn't till ages after that that we even contemplated having sex, she bitched about my boyfriend to me constantly, she didn't speak to me for weeks on end and went so far as to buy me a "surprise" train ticket to Dublin to stay with my father during the summer.
    Now, as you can possibly imagine, I felt pretty s*** during this time, and contemplated breaking up with my boyfriend just to get her off my back. But I obviously couldn't. He was there all the time for me, even though she was a complete bitch to him, and I really commend you for sticking by your girlfriend through this difficult situation, cos this is probably exactly what she needs, someone to be there for her. We got through it, and I hope you do too. Be there for your girlfriend as much as possible and try to understand whatever decision she may come to. Her parents are probably trying to deal with all of this .... and I really hope it works out for you. I agree with PeakOutPut in that you shouldn't confront her father, just one question - was he always nice to you before? or just simply indifferent?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,154 ✭✭✭Oriel


    Is it because you are obsessed by music? :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    Are you at exam levels in school ?
    Could her grades have suffered and her parents are blaming you ?

    Just another opinion.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    sinecurea wrote:
    Is it because you are obsessed by music? :)
    lol..


    Ok, so problem is sorted guys, we sat down with her parents and they explained that he didnt mean to say that just needed to let some steam. so everythings cool now!!

    thanks everyone for the help and support! Love ye!!!:o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    R_H_C_P wrote:
    lol..


    Ok, so problem is sorted guys, we sat down with her parents and they explained that he didnt mean to say that just needed to let some steam. so everythings cool now!!

    thanks everyone for the help and support! Love ye!!!:o
    good on you. well done.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Selphie wrote:
    I don't know if my two cents worth'll be of much help, but here goes anyway. Something the same happened with my parents, except neither of them were abusive. When I started going out with my boyfriend, they were happy enough, but once they realised that it was actually lasting a bit longer than the few weeks they were expecting, they flipped out completely. My father lives in Dublin so wasn't involved much but my mother completely over-reacted. She forced me to go on the pill after we'd being going out for two months even though it wasn't till ages after that that we even contemplated having sex, she bitched about my boyfriend to me constantly, she didn't speak to me for weeks on end and went so far as to buy me a "surprise" train ticket to Dublin to stay with my father during the summer.
    Now, as you can possibly imagine, I felt pretty s*** during this time, and contemplated breaking up with my boyfriend just to get her off my back. But I obviously couldn't. He was there all the time for me, even though she was a complete bitch to him, and I really commend you for sticking by your girlfriend through this difficult situation, cos this is probably exactly what she needs, someone to be there for her. We got through it, and I hope you do too. Be there for your girlfriend as much as possible and try to understand whatever decision she may come to. Her parents are probably trying to deal with all of this .... and I really hope it works out for you. I agree with PeakOutPut in that you shouldn't confront her father, just one question - was he always nice to you before? or just simply indifferent?
    I am under the assumption that your boyfriend is dependable and relative polite in modern day terms.

    From Reading your post, it Sounds like you mother is extremely Jealous of you and even more jealous that he (your boyfriend) who is still sticking with you and she know it love and not lust which she does not have.
    I have a feeling that she is trying to send you a signal with the pill that boyfriends are not dependable. Her childish tantrums is only backfiring, it is not working because you love him. Hug that boyfriend of yours and under no circumstances DO NOT let your mother be the reason to cause of the split between you and your boyfriend , otherwise she will learn that (like a child) if she continues this behavior for future events if she does that she will walk all over you.
    So you need to sit her down and talk to her as a mature adult, (I know you are not an adult yet, but you need to have to be the parent here, sound strange hey, It is a big responsibility for young shoulders). That means no shouting, no name calling, no throwing blame but keep asking for the reason why in a clam and concern manner. Tell her you are concern about her behavior and why is she still reacting so badly to you wonderful boyfriend who love you. Tell her if it had broken up after all the abuse your mother threw at him. It only proves how dependable he is. Tell her how you feel that the ticket is a sign that she is rejecting you and disrespecting you, that it will not achieve in breaking you both up. Both you and your boyfriend can communicate through mobile / internet because when you get back together, after all your boyfriend can arrange to visit you in Dublin. Ask her what kind of relationship is your mother is looking to have with you. You need to give her a chance to be a mature adult again.
    Under no circumstances do you let her know even in anger what is said here or else she will feel played and that not what we are trying to do. We just need to get some understanding between you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 428 ✭✭Selphie


    Thanks a lot, I probably didn't explain myself fully, but all my problems happened last year. My boyfriend and I are still together, and my mother has just accepted that she can't tell me what to do, and things are better now. Thanks much :):)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 428 ✭✭Selphie


    btb, I'm glad it all worked out for you RHCP! :D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭padser


    Woh...a happy ending to a PI thread!


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 7,944 Mod ✭✭✭✭Yakult


    Selphie wrote:
    btb, I'm glad it all worked out for you RHCP! :D:D
    Thanks! We are stronger than ever now, and we promised never to take one second for granted because you never know whats around the corner!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    PeakOutput wrote:
    (say that in a way that is less partronising i couldnt think of one)

    The issue of an under 18 PI section would be unsuitable as those posters who have the benefit of age and experience would be most likely to give pertinent advice.

    Would that do?:D


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    As problem is solved, thread closed.
    B


This discussion has been closed.
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