Great feats!

6th

Ok so as a man whats your greatest feat?

Apart from father a child with nother on the way (a strapping boy I'm told) my great feat would be the time I was challenged to an arm wrestle - the prize .... my woman ... the challenger .... a drunk, shirtless and horny Johnny Vegas! I won of course but I might at its once of the few situations when a man should grapple with a half naked man.

So whats yours?

DarkJager

Getting into a mosh pit fight with 7 very angsty teenagers at Metallica 3 years ago.....and opening a can of 80% proof whoop ass on each of them.

smashey

Bidding a famous ex-England (will not reveal sport here) captain good luck as he left a club in Singapore with a ladyboy. He was blissfully unaware of this fact.

/edit. I should add that myself and a few mates had been drinking with him for a few hours.

The Hill Billy

Name & shame Brother!

connundrum

It was infact David Beckham and Rebecca Loos is not in fact a lady. I'm 90% sure of it!

I must take time to ponder of my many feats, and indeed decide which one will take the honour of feat of all feats.

smashey

Afraid I can't. Litigation is never too far away.

smashey

connundrum wrote:

It was infact David Beckham and Rebecca Loos is not in fact a lady. I'm 90% sure of it!

I must take time to ponder of my many feats, and indeed decide which one will take the honour of feat of all feats.

This guy was an ex-captain ten years ago.

Bazzy

Does he have blond hair and is he slightly simple?

Bazzy

or does he have a dodgy tash?

6th

Lets not get distracted brothers ..... we wouldnt want to think people were trying to move away from the topic because they have no feats to speak of?

Bazzy

I got into Rounds with Ronan Keating at a man u game (apparently he's an irish singer!?!)

Drank & sang with the Dubliners in a hotel in Manchester at the following pilgrimage to manchester

Told jiimy hill he was an ugly stupid CNUT in a pub in tenerife (he wasn't impressed)

Partook in and completed the steak challenge in Liffey Valley's spur steakhouse oh and he a knickerbocker glory styled desert because someone challenged me that I wouldnt

Nearly knocked down Malcolm O kelly collecting my bro @ the airport two christmas eve's ago

I'm sure there's more i'll add them as they come flooding back!

_blank_

6th wrote:

Lets not get distracted brothers ..... we wouldnt want to think people were trying to move away from the topic because they have no feats to speak of?

Also, it looks distinctly like gossipping to me.

jester77

My greatest feat is making it to work on a Monday morning!

Pherekydes

I did a one-armed chin-up!

Well, ok, it involved me holding a razor in one hand and raising it to my chin.

Great feets? I just checked, and they're not too bad. March is usually the month I change me socks.

_blank_

I used to work as a barman in a Big Dublin Concert Venue.

An ex-member of Take That was in concert one night, and after I finished work I went to the backstage bar for a drink. The bar was packed with hangers-on and whatnot. I had no chair to sit on.

I was looking around for somewhere to plant my arse, when a lovely young girl told me I could have hers, as she didn't really want to be sitting down anyway, she had some people to talk to.

It was Andrea Corr.

I got Andrea Corr's seat in a bar

Blitzkrieger

I think he was looking for great feats like laping the Nurburgring in <10 minutes or eating a hamburger meal designed for a family cos you're so damn hungry rather than random brushes with celebrities.

Kazooie

I managed to get myself home one night (and into the leaba) after drinking 7 tequilas in the space of an hour, on top af a feed of pints. Still baffles me how I even survived.

connundrum

seansouth wrote:

I got Andrea Corr's seat in a bar

Did you keep it? I would have kept it.. do you have it now? Would you take cash money for it?

Blitzkrieger wrote:

I think he was looking for great feats like laping the Nurburgring in <10 minutes or eating a hamburger meal designed for a family cos you're so damn hungry rather than random brushes with celebrities.

Edit.
[Disregard]I saved Oliver Stone's life! I was working at a cinema when he pitched up for a premier having had 20 odd pints previous to his arrival. He tripped on power cable and fell forward and I caught him. Certain death would have been the result had I not been there. Although I probably should have let him fall given the film that he was premiering that night [/Disregard]:rolleyes:

Oh yeah and I was with Angelina Jolie later that night. Twice. Yes yes, indeed.

I out-pi$$ed Shane McGowan. At the urinal in the jax in Deer Park hotel in Howth, having a slash and in walks a shuffling, grumbling gentleman who was, shall we say, "very refreshed". I nod knowingly as he mumbles something along the lines of ".....breaking the seal...." as i think, "same as meself Shane, same as meself".

Eyes front and center, the liquid starts to flow as he fumbles with his zip, opens it and lets fly. At this stage, i've been emptying the bowels for a good 10-12 seconds and to my astonishment and horror, he finishes a good 10 seconds before i do. I was disgusted.

I flicked a cigarette to one of the lads before, and it went straight into the top of his bottle of beer.

I threw my (10 box) of cigarettes onto the top of the wardrobe one night when i came home absolutely sozzled. It landed, right side up, on the smallest possible base (i.e. as you see them on the shelf in the shop) and wobbled til i stared it down, daring it to fall. I left them there for a week as a testament to my greatness.

I hit a crossbar with a sliotar from about 20 yards, after one of the lads bet me that i couldn't. He still hasn't paid up.

I flicked a cap from a bottle of bulmers into the crack of the ar$e of the Polish barmaid in Sidewalks/The Living Room while she bent down to get me a glass to fill with ice. The bouncer saw everything, threw me out, and admitted "nice shot".

smashey

Aye, and I put the figs into the fig rolls.

Slow Motion

Hmm... Don't know if this qualifies but here goes.

Many moons ago when I was about 19, going out on a first date with a girl, we were sitting at a table in the pub about half way through our first drink when I decided to go to the bog. As I got up I whacked my knee of the table knocking it and our drinks over, as I reflexively backed a way I knocked the table behind me over with about four peoples drinks on it. As I was backing away from that table and profusely apologising I backed into another table knocking their drinks all over them. Three tables over with only half a pint taken and I didn't get a drop on myself. Is that a feat ?

petes

Slow Motion wrote:

Hmm... Don't know if this qualifies but here goes.

Many moons ago when I was about 19, going out on a first date with a girl, we were sitting at a table in the pub about half way through our first drink when I decided to go to the bog. As I got up I whacked my knee of the table knocking it and our drinks over, as I reflexively backed a way I knocked the table behind me over with about four peoples drinks on it. As I was backing away from that table and profusely apologising I backed into another table knocking their drinks all over them. Three tables over with only half a pint taken and I didn't get a drop on myself. Is that a feat ?

It is if you pulled the girl thast night too.

Slow Motion

petes wrote:

It is if you pulled the girl thast night too.

Indeed I did ! Went out with her for four years after that

MOTHERTRUCKER

Once while in work in the warehouse a colleague bet me i couldn't hit the cctv camera lense that was monitoring us.
Everyone was always paronoid about being watched, so one day BANG I hit it with a ball bearing from 30 meters.:)
The great thing was, it was so high up they needed to get a teleporter in to reach it to fix the lense. It was broke for about 3 weeks.

Another day this 20 year old lad was mouthing out of him in the local, he was so cocky about his level of fitness i had to shut him up.
So i bet him i could do between three and four hundred press ups in less than 5 minutes.
All the pub stood over me, cheering me on as i took off my jumper, did a few stretches and got down on the floor and done 4 full press ups. Then i took 20 Euros off him. I said "there you go 4 press ups. I said i could do between 3 and 400 press ups".
The place roared laughing
As they say a fool and his money are easily parted.

Slow Motion

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

Another day this 20 year old lad was mouthing out of him in the local, he was so cocky about his level of fitness i had to shut him up.
So i bet him i could do between three and four hundred press ups in less than 5 minutes.
All the pub stood over me, cheering me on as i took off my jumper, did a few stretches and got down on the floor and done 4 full press ups. Then i took 20 Euros off him. I said "there you go 4 press ups. I said i could do between 3 and 400 press ups".
The place roared laughing
As they say a fool and his money are easily parted.

Excellent ! I may steal this one ! With your permission of course

MOTHERTRUCKER

Slow Motion wrote:

Excellent ! I may steal this one ! With your permission of course

Of course. But BEWARE you have to be able to do 4 or more press ups or the joke is on you.

On another note of great feats. I once seen a girl stuff a whole big Mac in her mouth and eat it. Impressed the hell out of me, we've since broken up.

P.S I did mean a big mac from McDonalds its note code word for anything else.
Filth :rolleyes:

uncle ernie

composed the hawaii 5-0 theme tune on my very first phone. a ****ty ericsson. a great day.

Thrill

MOTHERTRUCKER wrote:

BEWARE you have to be able to do 4 or more press ups.

:eek::eek:

*gulp*

Kinetic^

seansouth wrote:

I used to work as a barman in a Big Dublin Concert Venue.

An ex-member of Take That was in concert one night, and after I finished work I went to the backstage bar for a drink. The bar was packed with hangers-on and whatnot. I had no chair to sit on.

I was looking around for somewhere to plant my arse, when a lovely young girl told me I could have hers, as she didn't really want to be sitting down anyway, she had some people to talk to.

It was Andrea Corr.

I got Andrea Corr's seat in a bar

What I want to know is, did you get down and sniff the chair?? Brother seansouth, now that would've topped the story off!!!! (I know I'm filthy but a man has to have dreams)

petes

Kenny 5 wrote:

What I want to know is, did you get down and sniff the chair??

I would have!!

robindch

...was sitting in a bar in Russia with five mates when an argument, then a fight broke out at the bar door about fifteen feet from us. In the middle of it, some poor sap took a fierce right hook across the jaw from one of bouncers which sent him flying across the room and towards our table. Without breaking stride, we lifted up our beers, the guy hit the table, the table fell to bits, he fell to the floor and was then picked up and bodily thrown out the door and across the street. They don't fukc around in Russia.

Another time, a guy who was doing rounds with me came back from the bar with three pints. He tripped and fell forwards and landed flat out on the ground on his stomach with the three pints just standing there, at arms length from him and with only half an inch or so slopped onto the ground. No idea how he did it. Got a round of applause from everybody.

Then there was the time that me and a few others drank the bar dry in the Yanggakdo Hotel in North Korea, but that's another story

Crash

the time some mates of mine were getting mugged down a back alley by a junkie with a syringe (we were getting into a lock in and waiting for the barman to let us in) and I drunkenly ran the length of the alley and shoulder rammed the junkie into a wall. poor bastard happened to turn just as I did it, and got a face full of wall.


When you figure that i'm a 6'0 lanky pole, and the guys getting mugged were all rugby players, I come across great, and they come across as saps

Degsy

I nutted Stephen Dorff coz he was titting up my bird.

sioda

Losing the beer gut I had from drinking lager and various multi coloured shots and replacing it with one born solely of guinness and whiskey

Hagar

I once... no I didn't, ah bugger I'm going to get outside a large Bacardi and Coke and dream of past glories that never happened.

Kinetic^

When I was younger, I got to train in the Olympic Training Centre in Barcelona for 2 weeks.........well before I had the beer gut!!

SligoBrewer

Kenny 5 wrote:

When I was younger, I got to train in the Olympic Training Centre in Barcelona for 2 weeks.........well before I had the beer gut!!

kenny, tut tut tut

i have been so lazy that i did not put the clock back in october as i knew that i had to put forward again last night..a feat, i mean reaching all the way up the wall..

Kinetic^

SligoBrewer wrote:

kenny, tut tut tut

I know brothers, I am sorry..........let the paddling begin!!!!

KdjaCL

Mizzonis Wagon wheel.



kdjac

Blitzkrieger

SligoBrewer wrote:

i have been so lazy that i did not put the clock back in october as i knew that i had to put forward again last night..

I can go one better I never reset the clock in my car even though it's been withing reach just about every day for the last six months.

I also have a remote for my car stereo......

dr.bollocko

Made a certain ecumenically minded literary talent from the midwest puke his ring up after downing a bottle of chivas with him.

Also, small potatoes, but thats all we gots to work with sometimes, was in one of them sushi bars in San Fran, heavy on the bar, light on the sushi, with a bunch of Merkins out for drinking games. Slowly separated the wheat from the chaff doing sake bombs all night until finally, ala streets of rage evil boss, the massive japanese chef came out from behind the bar and challenged me to a fast chug of a sake bomb.
**** sake I said!
So the preparations were made and I downed mine marginally faster (A hundredth of a second odd) to tap the table with the bottom of my empty glass at which point the good citizens of San Francisco carried me through the streets holding me aloft on my chair and showering me in booze and money. I'm still a national hero there.

oh and BbbbbbbbbuuuuMMmmmPPPPPPP!!!!!

Kur4mA

Deleted User wrote: »

I flicked a cap from a bottle of bulmers into the crack of the ar$e of the Polish barmaid in Sidewalks/The Living Room while she bent down to get me a glass to fill with ice. The bouncer saw everything, threw me out, and admitted "nice shot".

LMAO! winner.

Fratton Fred

I drank ten pints of Dogbolter at the Goose and Firkin once. only once though.

http://www.brew-it-yourself.co.uk/shop/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=312

Will

Fine effort there dr. bollocko!

Krsnik87

Probably surviving 5 days in electric picnic last year... Nearly died about 3 times.

Good memorys!

Fratton Fred

Geddit?

dr.bollocko

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Geddit?

There isnt a smiley condescending enough

Dun laoire

I took a bullet for a friend. Seriously. It was a real Kevin Costener in the bodyguard moment. BTW it was paintballing :pac:

Pen1987

Had the sexytime with an assests model.

Downed three tequila two jagers and a sambuca in what was named 'the countdwon to death' in a club with a friend, (then woke up in a garden in Cabra alone because I surrily asked the taximan to take me to Abra so i could get a burger but must not of been able to pronounce it correctly due to my level of inebriation .)

My friend was holding a can of beer before we were heading out and we were ripping him because he refused to admit he planned to ride this friend of his (female FTR). I got a condom (in its foil packet) and threw it as you would a frizzee to him saying 'you may need this tonight' from across the room, about thirty feet... it shot across to him and the flap of foil on the corner wefged right between his finger and the can of beer. He didnt even need to catch it, it was that perfect a shot. About three seconds of dead silence followed from the group of lads, all just looking at the condom packet hanging from his finger and beer, then a spontaneous, apprieciative and deserved round of appaulse erupted.