Whats wrong with me?!

LegacyUser

Ok, so I know this is an age-old stupid topic but I dunno whats wrong with me. I just don't attract guys. I'm not the best looking (in fact I'm really ugly) but then again I don't wear make up. So I'm going to get a makeover and buy a sh1t load of makeup and gradually build it up (I don't want to go from no make up to looking like a clown!). I know I'll never be great looking but it can't be helped.

I think I have quite a good personality. I've been told I'm funny, which is a big part of my life. I'm kinda pessimistic but I try to just turn it into humour so I don't come off as a really negative person (but I kinda am...it's hard not to be really...). Anyway...I have loads of interests, I'm quite intelligent, and I'm a good talker and listener.

I'm not saying I'm miss perfect - quite the opposite actually. But I'm good at hiding the fact that I'm desperate for male attention. So I don't come off as too easy, yet I try to catch guys attention but it just doesn't work.

What do guys look for in a girl?????

Trinity

I believe confidence and independance is a big factor.

If you give off an air of needing a boyfriend all you will do is repel them!!

I dont think looks count for that much in the long run as in life long partner material?

And i am sure you are not ugly!!

KingKenny7

loadsa people are like that. I thought it was just me

LegacyUser

'If you are asking what do guys look for in a girl physically it is impossible to answer - beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In saying that I think someone who takes care of themselves whether they wear make up or not and just look comfortable in their own skin appeals to both sexes.

You have a lot going for you - the desire to improve yourself, you are intelligent, a good listener and easy to talk to so maybe you should think about your qualities first before your perceived negative points. Its impossible to say what men want - good conversation, fun and a spark - that goes for both sexes. I would suggest you just try to be yourself but work on yourself and your confidence first and this will make you more attractive to others.

Good luck'

Crucifix

needaboyfriend! wrote:

So I'm going to get a makeover and buy a sh1t load of makeup and gradually build it up (I don't want to go from no make up to looking like a clown!).

Softly softly catchy monkey.
By which I mean be real careful with the makeup. Too much makeup is hideously unattractive.

s&mbarbie

trinity makes a good point, its all about self confidence...i doubt very much you're the "ugly" creature you make youself out to be...you know you've got a lot to offer and once you start focussing on your good points and see that you're great others will too...you're young, go have fun, once you stop looking for a guy you'll find youself knee deep in men!

LegacyUser

Trinity1 wrote:

I believe confidence and independance is a big factor.

If you give off an air of needing a boyfriend all you will do is repel them!!

I dont think looks count for that much in the long run as in life long partner material?

Yeah see I think about that. So in everyday life I act like I'm confident even if deep inside I'm just dying for a guy..any guy just to come over and talk to me.

I'm not really talking about long term relationships...I'm not even hoping for a long life partner...

It's really annoying me. When I was younger and all my friends had boyfriends I just thought that I was a late bloomer but I'm 17 and I've never kissed a guy. It's not like I'm waiting for the right guy , it's just there's been no oppurtinitys.

zootroid

i agree with s&mbarbie, don't be so hard on yourself. if you tell yourself you are ugly, you will start to believe it. and people will know what you're thinking. self confidence is the most attractive quality in someone.

Talliesin

needaboyfriend! wrote:

What do guys look for in a girl?????

Someone whose energy makes me think "damn she's hot".

Now while I'm thinking that a guy standing next to me might be thinking the same thing about some other girl I've barely noticed.

Having a look that easily matches with what our culture currently identifies as attractive only helps you attract men who are alienated from their own sexuality and therefore more worried about whether their friends will think the girl they're with is hot than whether they do. Now playing the averages means that this can get you plenty of attention (since there are lots of men like that), but in terms of something where there'll be any real chemistry this means very little.

King of Kings

OP - I'm a 29 year old single guy so can only answer for myself.
I doubt you're that ugly - it's probably your lack of confidence makes you appear unattractive. If you felt attractive and acted like that you'd have guys attention no probs.
furthermore (i am taking a guess here) but cos you don't wear makeup I'm assuming (sorry if i'm work here) tha clothes etc.. mightn't be a priority for you.
Most guys I know like a well-dressed , but not over dressed lady so that might be something to work one.

I find girls who can talk confidently and love themsleves ( aright not too much) come across as very attractive.

LegacyUser

'tired cliche but it really is true - looks aren't everything.

Why are you buying this make-up and getting a make over? to impress some guy or for yourself?

One of my friends is insanely beautiful yet she's been single for ever. She has no problem attracting men but it never seems to go beyond a couple of dates - which in her case is down to confidence or lack thereof.


Bottom line you need to be happy and content with yourself, the rest will follow naturally.

xox'

limklad

I sure you are not that bad. If you think what you think as ugly people do not deserve to date or not able to date, well I say you are wrong. They are having a great time as any normal couple and even getting married and enjoying sex too.
Those who degrade you just show off their own lack of self confidence, and using you through verbal abuse (Short lived thrill) to stroke their own inflated ego.

At the end of the day it is you, who are limiting yourself.

limklad

King of Kings wrote:

I find girls who can talk confidently and love themsleves ( aright not too much) come across as very attractive.

I second this.

BTW. I find huge amount of make-up on a woman a huge turn off. If you are using make-up. do not put on toooooo muuucccchhh

ronbyrne2005

Most guys are initially attracted to a girls body as much as her face(first impressions etc). Are you in good physical shape? Maybe going to the gym will give you more confidence and attrctiveness. Also do you get much interaction with guys in work, social situations etc? If guys get to know you then you may find it easier to find a boyfriend. Have you asked any of your friends to set you up or at least give you feedback?

ronbyrne2005

s&mbarbie wrote:

trinity makes a good point, its all about self confidence...i doubt very much you're the "ugly" creature you make youself out to be...you know you've got a lot to offer and once you start focussing on your good points and see that you're great others will too...you're young, go have fun, once you stop looking for a guy you'll find youself knee deep in men!

If only it was only about self confidence then every confident ugly guy would have a stunner on his arm! Confidence helps but is not a panacea as many girly publications may lead you to beleive.

Esel

needabofriendd wrote:

So in everyday life I act like I'm confident even if deep inside I'm just dying for a guy..any guy just to come over and talk to me.

So talk to them! Seriously, talk to them.

louisecm

needabofriendd wrote:

Yeah see I think about that. So in everyday life I act like I'm confident even if deep inside I'm just dying for a guy..any guy just to come over and talk to me.

I'm not really talking about long term relationships...I'm not even hoping for a long life partner...

It's really annoying me. When I was younger and all my friends had boyfriends I just thought that I was a late bloomer but I'm 17 and I've never kissed a guy. It's not like I'm waiting for the right guy , it's just there's been no oppurtinitys.

Please don't worry too much about this. I know its difficult because I was once in pretty much the same boat as you. I am not in any way ugly (and neither are you I'm sure), but I was so uncomfortable with myself that I kind of scared away anyone who ever approached me because I assumed that they were either trying to use me or get into one of my friends. I panicked whenever a guy talked to be, and was really overcynical. (Case in point, one night when I wound up with a guy in my year when I was 18, he had been trying it on for a while but as he was a big flirt I assumed he was just trying to use me, so then when one night we finally did kiss I ended up walking away, my friends said "Where's xxx?", and I laughed loudly and said, oh please as if he gives a ****e about me!?!"...he was right behind me, and I think he actually did give a ****e with hindsight). Anyway, I'm now in my mid twenties and I have had 2 long term relationships and several short term flings.

You need to remember that at 17 (and I don't want to patronise here), you are swimming in a pretty small pool. When you leave school and go to college there will be lots and lots of different guys out there, some of whom will probably have the same cynical sense of humour you have, and probably want a girlfriend who doesn't cover up their natural beauty with loads of makeup.

In short, have an open mind and be patient. If the right boyfriend isn't around right now, you're better off without them anyway! x