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Tired of wasting space

  • 18-03-2007 9:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am tired of existing... I have gone through the past 9 years of being either normal or completly overwhelmed in angst, un fullfilled, pathetic going nowhere and pretending to be anything but the above. Im tired of putting on a face. I have ppl to tell and sometimes i do but im tired of listening to me moan on. One min i seem fine to everyone when inside im screaming... im always laughing outside but inside .... i hate what i am.. YES i see my good bits.. funny caring i am good looking too and i see that but its the other CRAP that i cant deal with.. the side that screams over the good bits poinint out all my bad bits... Lack of control, MASSIVE debt, coasting in my job, yes... i know.. reading this i say... get over yourself ... stop feeling sorry for yourself.. only you can change what u want to change... i know this .. its logical.. but i honestly dont care ennough anymore.. i dont even care who i leave behind... honestly... i used to be scared... but now.. i want to just die... i have no want to be alive anymore and i dont see what i can do to not feel this way


Comments

  • #2
    Persius
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 76 ✭✭Persius


    Please do at least try to care for the people you leave behind. I'm sure you'd break your whole family's heart if they were to lose you. Do you really want to cause such devastation to your family?
    I can't give you much advice about your own feelings, as much as I wish I could. But there are people out there who can help. Try the samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/ - 1850 609090)


  • #3
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    whatsthepoint I'm no one to be giving advice. What does any of us really know. I'm not going to tell you all the stuff you mentioned. "Cop on to yourself, you are the engine of your life" and all that sh1te. Fact is it's only true if you believe it to be.

    Believe this and believe this well; there are two here so far and there will be more, who don't even know you, who don't know what your good points are, who don't know what you think your bad points are. Yet we need to tell you you're not alone. What does that tell you? You're not alone, even when staring at the impersonal screen. You will be OK. This can be a fúcked up world if you feel you don't belong to it. It won't always be. Trust me. You deserve to feel better about you. Those who do know you deserve to still have you in their lives. Others want you to be here even if that's hard for you at the moment. These feelings won't always be like this. Stick around and find out. PM me or anyone here if you think it may help.

    As Persius try these http://www.samaritans.org/ - 1850 609090 Just talk to someone honestly, even if it's yourself.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #4
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Don't judge yourself by your job, or your debt or any of that crap. Please. At least don't make any decision based on your "credit rating" or whether you're reaching your "targets" in work. Fúck that and fúck it well. Trust me, when you get through this and you will, many years down the line when you are surrounded by a good life of your own making I guarantee shíte like this won't even register. The person who has lived a wonderful life never looks back on it and wonders "maybe I should have done more overtime", maybe I should have got that expensive shirt etc. Much of the world tell you it does matter, but it doesn't.

    Sit down and really really think about the hurt and loss you will cause in those around you. Even in the ones you think you barely know. It'll hurt even them. Think on what it will do to those who really know you. You would upset me and I only know you from one post. Think of those who know you for a lifetime.

    Apologies for the oul profanity there.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I've been there. I've realised that so many others have too. You really wouldn't believe how close to the state of "normal" (as in typical) human behaviour your mentality is. I think that realising how useless it all is, but getting on with appreciating the small but wonderful things in life, is the key. You still do care about those around you - if you cling to any happy memories of friends/family, then surely the chance of recreating those memories, if only one more time, is enough to keep you going on - especially if the other option is nothingness. Surely something (life, even if lived for the sporadic upbeat moments when you forget about your despair) is better than an infinity of nothing?

    I can see how you can discount strangers telling you not to do anything rash. At least confide that things have gotten this bad to someone you know - on the off chance that you can one day be happy, surely you owe yourself that much?


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