Am I boring because I no longer drink

Flying

Guys,

I recently broke up with my girlfriend and one of the main reasons was I dont drink enough or anything at all.

Now to be honest I dislike the taste of drink and the other silly issues it brings.

I am now being riducled for the fact I dont fall into the slot of you cant have fun if you dont drink.

Am I boring, too sensible or I am right, this has been a factor in a few relationships were I rather have a nice meal,go to the cinema etc that go to a noisey pub where I am uncomfortable.

Any guys here been in similar situations ?

Ruu_Old

Load of rubbish, I've never touched the drink and always had a great time with my friends. Most of the time they would take the michael about me not drinking which was fine. I'll be the one laughing at the end of the night. There has to be a bit of compromise in the relationship. Was she not willing to do what you wanted some of the time? I would have thought it boring to go out all the time and drink.

JC 2K3

tbh, I wouldn't really associate being sensible or boring with not drinking, there's nothing "right" or wrong about drinking. However, you don't drink and you don't want to, so you shouldn't have to.

A relationship with a girl who likes to drink and go to pubs/clubs frequently and get drunk probably isn't going to work, but I'm sure there are a lot of girls who don't fall into this stereotype. A tip would be not to meet girls in pubs/clubs

Silverfish

I would definitely say there is nothing wrong with not drinking.

Its far more fun to go out and do stuff that don't involve drink - go for a meal, go to the cinema - so I would hardly say you qualify as boring.

I would find sitting in a pub / nightclub weekend after weekend more boring to be honest.
Now, I do drink, and when I started going out with someone before, they didn't really drink at all, so we just avoided going out to pubs etc, and I had far more fun with him than I ever had with anyone that did drink.

rediguana

Being boring is independent of whether you drink or not.

My friend fell off a half-built flyover while drunk, breaking his arm. I was woken up by the police knocking at my bedroom door, meanwhile, after a separate drunken episode.

Are we really fun or what???

ps. This was back in the day, I hasten to add.

ladybirdirl

Can I just say as a girl - I don't find the fact that you don't drink much/at all would have anything to do with whether I stayed with you or not. If that's the reason you got, you're better off out of there (even though that might be painful at the moment)

Seriously not every girl is after someone who can drink their body weight and act the maggot!

Hope that helps

Ladybird

limklad

Flying wrote:

Guys,

I recently broke up with my girlfriend and one of the main reasons was I dont drink enough or anything at all.

Dumping because you do not drink at all or very little is the lamest excuse in the book

Flying wrote:

Now to be honest I dislike the taste of drink and the other silly issues it brings.

I am now being riducled for the fact I dont fall into the slot of you cant have fun if you dont drink.

You not the only one. I know plenty of fellas here in Limerick, who do not drink and get on well going out at nights with the lads. One fella is a ladies man and the women love dancing with him. He able to woe them late in the night when most other fellas are drunk.

I am in the same boat as you. I do drink but it does not bother me if I don't. I never drink at family occasions (Uncles, aunts, cousins), so much that most of my cousins think I don’t drink. It is not a problem now (Long story due to my abusive mother).

I do find for some strange reason some women love men who make a fool out of themselves. Yet it may help their insecurity that they are better than the fella they are going out with and can justify the right to abuse (verbally and emotionally at) him. It just my perception at witnessing their behavior over the years. Anyone that they see not misbehaving or making a fool of themselves is boring. Get the drift. It is Sad women who like this behavior as trouble seems to follow them.
I am not saying that people should not have fun, quite the opposite. We should all be allowed to have fun. It the perception of fun is in question.

Flying wrote:

Am I boring, too sensible or I am right, this has been a factor in a few relationships were I rather have a nice meal,go to the cinema etc that go to a noisey pub where I am uncomfortable.

Any guys here been in similar situations ?

You can still have fun in the pub, it up to you. I personality like change, been in the same place over and over again, that get boring. I hate noisy pubs but prefer quieter one where I do not have to roar all of the time when talking to people. I was delight when the smoking ban came into affect. I do not suffer many headaches now in the morning (now eyes tiredness) and can use the same clothes two nights in a row or to work in the morning (provide there is no beers stains of course). and I do not have to ask people to blow their smoke in a different direction.
I think you just haven’t meet that right woman in your life. You need to raise you standards in women. Look for more open and self confident women who respect you for being you and not narrow the minded beer/drink junkies.

CathyMoran

There is nothing wrong with not drinking, if anything it is preferable. My husband would be a light drinker as would myself. It is far better to be able to have a laugh without any stimulants in my opinion.

Dr_Teeth

You're not as boring as the people that need to be on drugs to have a good time tbh. Stick with it!

Duff_Man

ah i dont drink either dude. doesnt really bother me tho! i manage to ave a good time and im always the one laughin at the end of the nite when people are sayin stupid things and throwin up all over the place. were all better off witout it man! dont worry bout that one breakin up wit u over it, thats such a stupid excuse!

Flying

Thanks for all the advice guys much appreciated at least now I know the issue is not with me.

I dont exactly hate pubs it is just the noisy meat markets etc, I was in one yesterday for the Rugby with my best friend, drinking soft drinks and have dinner there twas a nice evening apart from the loss of the six nations and then I could goto my car and drive home in relative safety.

And limklad I have never consumed alcohol every with my family dont know why but again, my father rarely drinks and my mother never.

Guys thanks again you made me feel much better

Duff_Man

u shouldnt feel bad bout it mate. most people will envy you for havin the will power not to drink! just wait and see man it'll all work out!;)

limklad

Flying wrote:

And limklad I have never consumed alcohol every with my family dont know why but again, my father rarely drinks and my mother never.

I never implied that you did.
Consider your self lucky. If you had my parents you understand. It is always your choice to drink, not anyone else, even if they pressure you. Those who do pressure you do not respect you nor have your best interests in mind.
All the best.

DaBoocal

I like to go out drinking in a bar or club whenever there is a big occasion on or everyone is going out.More often though i rather go out,not drink be able to drive after as a lot of people i would hang out with in a different ring of friends ussually are out late meeting up,chatting,no drink as they all drive.Best of both worlds.Never drink with family or relatives(they all drink a good bit)Also talking to people and watching wahts going on around you is more fun as you can actually focus on things better,not just half drunk focused on one person and spouting ****e talk.I also think it gives you a better chance with the opposite sex aswell as you appear better(not stumbling around or looking like you're half asleep) but also you can have a better conversation.As for her leaving you for that or whatever way it happened its for the best,you could put up with going out with someone to the clubs just to be with them for a while but it'll come a time when they go out,you stay home as that is what they enjoy doing,and you enjoy the opposite.Its the biggest thing wrong with Irelands social culture these days the aul "WHAT YOU DONT DRINK?" in a horrifed tone as if you have five heads.

LegacyUser

There is nothing wrong with drinking or not drinking as long as you are not one of those 'non drinkers' who sits and counts the number of drinks everyone else has - had an ex who did that. In the end it meant I could not go out and enjoy my well earned scoops without him watching me and then tutting if I had a hangover the next day.....

Talliesin

If someone saw getting drunk as the only possible way to have a good time then they probably would think you were boring.

Dating someone like that wouldn't work for you. Luckily there are billions of people in the world and lots of them aren't of that way of thinking (Indeed, I for one find such people bore me to the extent that I normally won't tolerate more than a few minutes in their company).

Don't worry about it.

Floppybits

I have never drank, smoked or took drugs and I know Im not boring. I even went to ibiza for two weeks with my drug drinking mate and I was always the last home. I know there is an attitude out there amongst certain people that anyone who doesnt drink is boring. I actually broke up with a girl because she kept trying to get me to drink. If people cant take you the way you are then F**k them.

By the way those people that said you are boring are the exact same people that will be trying to get a lift home of you at the end of a night because they dont want to queue for a taxi home.

limklad

Floppybits wrote:

By the way those people that said you are boring are the exact same people that will be trying to get a lift home of you at the end of a night because they dont want to queue for a taxi home.

Here here, and they probally be the ones who need drink to think they are great :rolleyes:

de5p0i1er

I never took a drink in my life and I get on fine without the stuff, I've learned that you can do what ever you want in the company of drunken fools and I use that to my advantage. Most of the things I'd do on a night out these people would never do without some dutch courage.

watna

I don't think there's anything wrong with not drinking. It's strange to use it as an issue for a break-up as well. I'd very very rarely go to the pub with just my boyfriend. I just don't see the point. If it is just the two of us I'd rather sit on the couch and watch a dvd, or go the cinema or for a walk or generally just do something! Why would I feel the need to get drunk regularly with the person i think is the most fun in the world?! We'd drink together when we're out with friends but if he didn't it wouldn't bother me. As long as you don't make other people feel bad for drinking (after all, everyone makes their own choices) then people should respect your choice not to drink.

Talliesin

watna wrote:

It's strange to use it as an issue for a break-up as well.

I don't think its strange as such, but it does say more about the person using the reason than the person they are talking about.

John Mason

to be honest, i would never get together with someone who didnt drink in the first place, i like a drink sometimes! and can not be doing with someone who sits there counting the number of drinks i have had, telling me what damage it is doing to my liver and constanty tutting at me - but that's my problem and i am rather boring or a bit nuts when i drink, so just forgot about her and find a nice girl who doesnt drink or not much anyway,

lady_j

Of course its not a problem that you dont drink, but at the same time you can't expect everyone to change just because you have. I have a friend who recently gave up drink, and yes we do meet them at the cinema and the cafes but it irritates me that they dont come out to the pub or when they do leave after an hour. I am never in the pub for the drink, I am there to be with my friends. There are very few late night cafés, so for variety purposes sometimes pubs are a valid option when strapped for cash. I think if you compromise with them, they will in turn.

Sangre

Not drinking won't make you boring but it will highlight this fact to your inebriated friends.

Drift

I don't drink and I never have. It doesn't stop me from going to pubs or nightclubs and invariably I'm one of the last to leave parties etc. I almost always have a great time when I go out with a gang of friends (who are all drinking). People lower their inhibitions, act the fool, take the piss etc. as the night goes on and the amount of alcohol consumed is greater ....... unless its dangerous I always join in the frivolities because its fun to have a laugh with my friends.

I don't make a point of telling people I don't drink but if they ask why I have a glass of Rock Shandy or Mi Wadi I tell them I don't drink. Over the years I'd say about a hundred people have asked and 2 people ever have had some sort of problem with it. Everybody else has said fair play or gone on to apologise for the amount of ****e they're talking to me, to which I respond by saying I talk just as much ****e sober as a normal person drunk. Of the 2 that had a problem with it one girl just kinda stuck her nose up and any time I was engaged in conversation with the group for the rest of the night she said "You don't drink" in a deragatory manner ....everyone else in the group just ignored her. The only other girl (yup they were both girls!!!) that it seemed to be an issue for changed her opinion pretty quickly as the night went on and told me later that she had always had the opinion that people who didn't drink were dry and boring but that I had changed that opinion .

As far as I can see it most of my friends tend to use alcohol to help them loosen their tongue and relax their inhibitions. I can do that without alcohol so I just join in the fun and games. It does also provide dutch courage when it comes to approaching nice girls, I haven't ever managed to match my inebriated friends on this side of things - I find that I approach girls less frequently and only after significant "signalling" ........ I can't say whether thats a personality trait or lack of dutch courage because I never drank.

And one final point if you're "dancing" sober in a night club its best to pretend you're drunk otherwise you'll just look around and laugh your arse off at what drunk people think is "dancing".

Anyway I was trying to show the op that being boring has nothing to do with whether you drink or not. Anyone who pre-judges you because they know you don't drink has bought into the stereotypes in the same way as people who are sexist, racist .... whatever other "ist" you can think off. The fact that irish culture appears to be built of pint glasses sailing on an ocean of alchol is also partly to blame but I've found that the vast majority of people judge you based on your personality and not on the beverages you consume and anyone who doesn't isn't worth the hassle.

*edit* ... you mentioned op that you prefer dinner or a cafe or the cinema to going out to the pub with your (ex) gf ..... I'd be the same way but I'm pretty sure if yuou're with any girl who is mature enough to be in a relationship a happy comprimise can be worked out ..... you go to the pub with her sometimes and she goes somewhere different with you the next night.

Floppybits

irishbird wrote:

to be honest, i would never get together with someone who didnt drink in the first place, i like a drink sometimes! and can not be doing with someone who sits there counting the number of drinks i have had, telling me what damage it is doing to my liver and constanty tutting at me - but that's my problem and i am rather boring or a bit nuts when i drink, so just forgot about her and find a nice girl who doesnt drink or not much anyway,

Irishbird, thats a bit harsh on us non drinkers out there. I have never drank and I have never sat there and counted the amount of drinks some has or go off on one about the damage they are doing to their livers. Thats there problem, not mine. When I go out, I go out to have a good time. The same can be said for people who dont drink, who have to sit there and listen to drunk people prattle on about how much they love you or hate you (depending on what type of drunk they are) or spitting when talk or spilling drink over you.

It is also very closed minded to say that you dont get involved with non drinkers, do you apply that rule to people who smoke or dont smoke, or people who do drugs or dont do drugs, or people who have a certain hair colour?

Remember in this country it is harder for someone to go out and not drink that it is to go out and drink.

Thats my rant over.

Floppybits

One other advantage of being a non drinker is that you dont suffer brewers droop.