Should I pop the question?

Cateym

Hi all,

Been with my better half for just over 3 years and we have lived in an apartment we bought together for the last 8 months. It's getting to the stage where I would like to get married and we have spoken about this like its a foregone conclusion even to the point of how many guests at the reception (or whether to elope altogether!!) etc.

Thing is I don't think he will make any shapes in that direction for a few years yet. He's a laid back type of guy! He's not saving for a ring as he has spent more than enough on gadgets lately so I know that for sure!

He knows that I would like to be married by the time I'm 30 and start a family shortly after. Has never batted an eyelid at this information.

We have a standing joke that if he doesn't ask I will and its getting to the point where I am considering asking him!!

So whats the verdict??? Am I mad or should I just wait??

Ballyman

Cateym wrote:

Hi all,

Been with my better half for just over 3 years and we have lived in an apartment we bought together for the last 8 months. It's getting to the stage where I would like to get married and we have spoken about this like its a foregone conclusion even to the point of how many guests at the reception (or whether to elope altogether!!) etc.

Thing is I don't think he will make any shapes in that direction for a few years yet. He's a laid back type of guy! He's not saving for a ring as he has spent more than enough on gadgets lately so I know that for sure!

He knows that I would like to be married by the time I'm 30 and start a family shortly after. Has never batted an eyelid at this information.

We have a standing joke that if he doesn't ask I will and its getting to the point where I am considering asking him!!

So whats the verdict??? Am I mad or should I just wait??

Why don't you save up yourself and buy a ring? This whole wedding lark is the greatest con and waste of money known to man.
Makes a lot of sense to spend 30 grand on a piss up.

Lynfo

I have a similar situation with my boyf, been together 7 years, and like yourself we both know we will get married eventually. I'm planning to propose on his 30th birthday (unless he gets there first) and will go halves on the ring, so my advice would be to go for it! and of course let us know how you get on!

frizzefreckles

I agree with Lynfo, i think you should do it. You know he wants to marry you as he has no problem talking about it. He's just being slow in getting down on his knee. Good luck.

kizzyr

I read your initial post a few days ago and have been thinking about it since and have to ask what is your rush to get married? I know that may seem like an odd question when you've been together as long as you have but still why are you feeling the need to get married or have him propose to you now? I'm not asking that to be mean I am genuinely interested to know why it matters so much that you can't just let it happen in its own good time:)

gbh

I dont usually post in this forum and in fact its my first time here, but...

I think you are in the ideal situation on this one. You are living together and so in that instance I would advise you to pop the question, but not to set a date if thats possible in this day and age.

This takes the pressure off him cause he doesnt think theres any rush yet but gives you a chance to do a lot of planning and then to set a date and he wont be so shocked. If the living together proves a problem after a while, then you could always back out. Rather than go directly for the annoucement and date, build up to it in phases.

OPENROAD

Ballyman wrote:

Why don't you save up yourself and buy a ring? This whole wedding lark is the greatest con and waste of money known to man.
Makes a lot of sense to spend 30 grand on a piss up.

Classic post :-) and spot on also.

Mrs_Doyle

Ballyman wrote:

Why don't you save up yourself and buy a ring? This whole wedding lark is the greatest con and waste of money known to man.
Makes a lot of sense to spend 30 grand on a piss up.

You are in the WEDDINGS and MARRIAGE forum. Almost everyone who posts here is a big believer in Weddings and Marriage, and if they don't see money spent on a wedding as a waste then that's their business.

Also, the OP never said anything about a 30k wedding, she just wants to be married to the man she loves.

Jotter

depends on the type of guy your partner is. I got married almost 2 yrs ago and I know for a fact if Id asked my then partner to marry me hed have said no despite wanting to marry me iykwim!!
Hes really proud of the fact that he asked my dads permission and did it the old fashioned way and hes since said that he hates the idea of a girl asking a bloke. Hes not a caveman by any means - he does most of the housework etc but on this particular subject hes old fashioned and I was actually surprised at how strongly he felt about it. I know a few blokes that are like this so youd want to be pretty sure your guy isnt one of them!
Also if you do decide to ask him do you buy him a ring? Its the one thing I disagree on when women ask men to marry them and then the man has to go buy the woman a ring- surely its the asker who supplies this to the person theyre engaging
anyway go for it if you are certain hell be pleased about it, if you think hes not asking you bec hes not entirely sure or just isnt ars*d then dont. Best of luck whatever you decide, hope it goes well if you go for it!!

CathyMoran

I know that it is a long while away but you could ask on February 29th 2008 and hope that in the interim that he proposes. I do not think that there is anything wrong with the woman asking.

embee

CathyMoran wrote:

I know that it is a long while away but you could ask on February 29th 2008 and hope that in the interim that he proposes. I do not think that there is anything wrong with the woman asking.

Ho ho, thats my plan!!

Cateym

CathyMoran wrote:

I know that it is a long while away but you could ask on February 29th 2008 and hope that in the interim that he proposes. I do not think that there is anything wrong with the woman asking.

He jokes about that too! Says I can't ask til then anyway!

Kinetic^

CathyMoran wrote:

I know that it is a long while away but you could ask on February 29th 2008 and hope that in the interim that he proposes. I do not think that there is anything wrong with the woman asking.

What's the big deal with that date?

Kenny 5

Kenny 5 wrote:

What's the big deal with that date?

Women traditionally are only "allowed" to propose on a leap year
I thought it was anytime in a leap year but *shrug*

Ruu_Old

I think it is the date (leap year) where traditionally, a woman can propose marriage.

edit: snap, bluey