Bored in Relationship

LegacyUser

This is a bit long but if anyone can advise I would be grateful...

My and the other half have been together for 4 years and we will be having a "talk" tonite. I am really anxious as I hate these talks. I never get out what I want to say and he picks it up as if I am not interested or leaving all the decisions up to him which he really hates. He wants us to talk about how we can have more fun together and stop being bored and he will want to know what I suggest, which is where I am drawing a blank...

I really love this man and I know he loves me back. We have talked about marriage and have both agreed that we will get engaged later this year but have a long engangment (i.e. 3 years).

We are both bored in the relationship. He lives 40mins away from me but I stay over half the week with him and the other half in my mam's house. I am struggling to get out of debt too which hasnt been easy. He always works shifts and it means that when I am working he is usualy asleep and when I call over to his house I am usually wrecked and he's just had a good sleep!

He has two kids from a previous relationship and they stay over every second weekend. Sometimes this can take its toll on me as they are incredibly hyper kids and they will not mix with the other kids on the street no matter what. I have 10 neices & nephews and they said they hate them all which is quite touch as they live near my bf and it would be good if they all got along...

Anyway the other area we are both bored in is our sex life. As I said earlier I am usually wrecked when he is full of engergy so that is not good, he works weekends too and when I see him is the opposite way, I am full of engergy and he's wrecked or the kids are there, the walls are paper thin and they wont go out to play with the other kids on the road.

Can anyone advise on how to spice up our relationship and our sex life? He is not into toys though but I could try dressing up..

As I said we do love each other but we have gotten ourselves into such a rut. We are both unhappy in our jobs just waiting it out til we find better and we have both expressed a huge interested in leaving Ireland and living abroad. I think this wud be brilliant but it wont happen for at least 1 year. S

So has anyone been in this predicament before or can anyone advise on how to liven up a relationship/sex life?

Henry Ford III

I think a change in your schedules might help.

kittenkiller

Try talking about what you'd *like* to do would be my best advice.
There's no point in trying to come up with extravagant ideas of what you could do if you've no interest in actually doing them.
It's not a game of one-up-man-ship, it's to do with having fun and enjoying yourselves.

Cruise around some female-friendly adult toy websites to get some ideas for yourself. Even if the things you see are more solo-oriented they might just heighten your libido or simply give you more ideas.

Relax, try not to hear what your partner says or suggests as criticisms of you but for what they are, suggestions. Don't be afraid to say no to a suggestion if you're against it, but only after you've considered it with an open mind.

Moving forward try to forget about all the external stresses like your jobs and stuff while you're together or at least set aside time where you can both relax and turn your minds off (a long slow back rub after sharing a bottle of wine can make concentrating on stressful things very difficult).

In regards to your work schedule try meeting up straight after work and doing something active like a quick stroll in the fresh to liven you up and get the blood flowing, find something that gives you your second wind.
You'll get there through trial and error.

Best of luck.