Blonde Jokes!

The Queen

Apologies if it's been done..... I just love blonde jokes! (and im a natural blonde!)


Your kid has been kidnapped

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.

She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"



The blonde test taker


A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."


Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.


Anyone got any better ones?

Archeron

I like the exam one, never heard that before

mad m

Hear about the blonde secretary? She had tipex on her lcd...

Brow

A blonde, red head and brunette are stranded in the woods and start to get hungry. The red head sets out to find food and a few hours later returns with a dead boar.
'How did you manage that?' the other two ask.
'I simply found some tracks, followed them to the boar and when I found it I killed it.
Having finished that hunger sets in again so the brunette heads off and sure enough returns with a dead deer.
'How did you manage that?' the other two ask
'The same as you, I found some tracks, follwed them, then when I found the deer, killed it and came back here.
Having finished that the blonde sets out to find food. A few days pass before she comes crawling back to camp,bloodied and worse for wear.
'What happened?' the other two ask
'I did the same as you' she replied 'I found some tracks, followed them but got hit by a train'.

copacetic

i like this one:

A blonde was speeding down the road in her little red sports car before she was pulled over by a female police officer - who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's license. So she started digging through her purse and got progressively more agitated the longer she was unable to find it.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked the cop.

"Well, it's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go... I didn't realize you were a cop."