Fancy my boyfy's friend - help!

coffeeadddict

Hey guys, have registered under a different name for this as it's a sensitive issue+want to remain anonymous. I've been going out with my boyfy for two years+love him to bits. There's this friend of his, John, who I get really well with - he actually introduced us but he'd be more of my bofy's friend than my friend. Anyway, normally we'd all be out for pints together but last weekend my boyfy wasn't around+I met up with John on my own. The thing is I've always thought John was very attractive, we both got very drunk+I ended up going back to his house so that I wouldn't have to get a taxi home. Once we got there, I realised that I really really wanted him+hopped into his bed, we were touching and kissing but John wouldn't let it go any further. Looking back, thank god he stopped me. I felt really bad afterwards+we both agreed we would say nothing to my boyfy and it wouuldn't happen again. My problem is, I think we really have a connection+I can't stop fancying him....has any been in a similar situation or can offer any advice?

togster

Yeah.... stay away from your boyfriends friend. I dont'know what you expect people to say... that it's ok go ahead cheat on your boyfriend?? ITS NOT. If you loved your boyfriend you wouldn't think of doing this. So my advice is this either try with your boyfriend or break up with him. Dont't be selfish and hurt him. Because this WILL hurt him. Sorry if it sounds cold but thats the fact of the situation. Be mature and confront the issue head on and don't hurt people yourself included in the process.

tbh

most people will have been there - don't beat yourself up too much.

It's the "grass is always greener" syndrome.

Remember, you don't know this friend at all, so you don't know any of his bad points, only his good. He's behaving like your b/f did when your b/f was trying to get with you, so everything you see is his 'A' game, if you know what I mean. For all you know, he could be a liar, or really annoying, or really crap in bed, etc etc. You don't know any of this, because he's only a friend, so you don't have to deal with any of the downside, which is what you see in a relationship.

one thing, you obviously can't trust yourself to be alone with this guy again (fair enough), so never let yourself get into this situation. You can't use the old excuses "one thing led to another" ; "before we knew what we were doing" ; "somehow I found myself..." - if you really love your b/f, you'll avoid situations where you end up alone with this guy. There is no "I couldn't help it", there is only "I didn't want to stop it". Stop fantasizing about new guy and put your efforts into existing guy.

but you're only human, we all make mistakes.


(see, you'd probably read this advice and think "Gee, tbh sounds like such a nice guy, more understanding than my b/f". But the thing is, I'm lazy, I'm opinionated and I can be a pretty crappy boyfriend sometimes. It'd be a shame for you to leave one good man to end up with a lesser man. You see my point?)

coffeeadddict

Thanks for the replies people.
Togster - I'm not hoping that people will say it's ok to cheat on my bofy, that's not what I think at all. I guess I'm just struggling with these feelings that I have for someone else+I really want to stop them because I have no intention of breaking up with my boyf.
tbh - thanks for being understanding, I guess it probably is partly the thrill of the chase also. I do actually know this guy as I've known him for years, I knew him before I knew my boyfy. And yes he does have bad points but there's just such a chemistry there....You're right about not letting myself get into a situation that I'm alone with him+there is alcohol involved.

Talliesin

I fancy lots of people. Doesn't mean I have to give in to every twinge of lust.

Hurray for there being lots of sexy people in the world, for they make life more pleasing to the eye for all of us. But hurray also for the fact that it doesn't mean we necessarily have to shag any of them.

LegacyUser

'im kinda in a 2 similar situations but hasnt gone that far,

my gf's friend from the first time we met 3 years ago there was a spark there, we had seen each other every couple of months etc, then about a year ago my gf was in london for the weekend and i bumped into her friend into her friend in town anyway we were dancing/drinking/chatting and we got to a point where our lips were about a centimetre apart looking straight into each others eyes. from then we both knew we really wanted each other but i love my girlfriend so nothing happened and she respects her friendship so nothign happened. Other side of the coin is my friends gf does nothing but flirt with me when were out and tbh i wouldnt mind rolling in the hay with her but i couldnt do that to my friend. Were only human we make mistakes but jumping into bed with your bf's friend isnt destiny you didnt have to do it.'

King of Kings

Talliesin wrote:

But hurray also for the fact that it doesn't mean we necessarily have to shag any of them.

you have ruined my day

Zambia

King of Kings wrote:

you have ruined my day

Mine to

Dear OP , take my advice in one regard if this gets out or you do anything else with said fella you are leading up to a world of pain in all directions.

Forget it and never mention it again to anyone , no girlfriends no friends no nothing. Hopefully the other drunk fumble has the sense to do likewise.

It happens move along.

Dragan

coffeeadddict wrote:

My problem is, I think we really have a connection+I can't stop fancying him....has any been in a similar situation or can offer any advice?

Advice eh?

1) Stop acting like a 15 year old with a crush. Realise that you don't actually love your boyfriend, because you cheated on him and want to do so again apparently. Grow up a bit and stop thinking about this other dude.

2) Be honest with your boyfriend. Realise that this will forever cause a rift between him and this John prick ( sorry, but scoring your mates girlfriend is bollix, i'd have his nuts if i found out )

3) Break up with your boyfriend because by the sounds of it your gonna end up ****ing him over.

Oh yeah, and in case anyone tries any of that "it's fine, your only human" stuff..... it's not. Your a pretty horrible girlfriend, leave the poor bastard alone.

LegacyUser

coffeeadddict wrote:

Hey guys, have registered under a different name for this as it's a sensitive issue+want to remain anonymous. I've been going out with my boyfy for two years+love him to bits. There's this friend of his, John, who I get really well with - he actually introduced us but he'd be more of my bofy's friend than my friend. Anyway, normally we'd all be out for pints together but last weekend my boyfy wasn't around+I met up with John on my own. The thing is I've always thought John was very attractive, we both got very drunk+I ended up going back to his house so that I wouldn't have to get a taxi home. Once we got there, I realised that I really really wanted him+hopped into his bed, we were touching and kissing but John wouldn't let it go any further. Looking back, thank god he stopped me. I felt really bad afterwards+we both agreed we would say nothing to my boyfy and it wouuldn't happen again. My problem is, I think we really have a connection+I can't stop fancying him....has any been in a similar situation or can offer any advice?

Love and back stab are 2 lonely combinations. Go to the car and get a rubber, did he have protection on him? And if not maybe he was being careful. I know take and get, but the one boyfriend you say you are dating, you're called a deceptive girl of 3 stones on the one bird. Meaning you are thinking "I must be honest, I love alpha males not my current boyfriend. So if an instant opportunity arose, I'd act innocent and clown my current boyfriend as not right for me." So if a gomb does the dirt, they get a label called slut or player(aka alpha male). So it means that, he's not interested and or maybe you are bad news to be with.

So try make a fresh start. And I'll never give bad advice, but you don't use boys for a confidence boost I hope? Because a lot of posts are alike, and you seem to be confident and believe that you are loved. I say don't go for 4th deal better, I'd believe that you are not in love with boyfriend of 2nd lad. Boyfriend no1 is not dumb, he'll go and make his mark and if you believe you'r boyfriend is easy to mislead, watch his face if you are good enough to tell him straighforward. So just tell him you don't like him. After cheating and him finding out you lead him on, he'll suffer what's known as Identity crisis, and the main point of that he thinks, "I can't be me for her to like me so I hate me because she prefers john doe instead".

1. You not dare mess your boyfriends confidence, tell him you don't like him NO. Tell him you're not right for me.
2. This post is not bull, it's called one of a realistic answer to you question. Not you're very popular so you'r lucky like what many posters may or may have said. This is another lads life you are posting about and very few people care including you, because you don't risk cheating on a lad without thinking about how he may feel. So break it off first.
3.I'm an alpha male yes. I mostly like cars and poker. I was bold and brazen with my relationships, and I met angel my lovely girlfriend. She never slept around, never backstabbed, and I checked her life story before I committed. So the moral is You're too nicey in your commets about you being in love, to realise that if you cheat once it's a reputation of you life.

I'm good looking and very sociable and approachable depending. If I was your boyfriend, I'd call you every name under the sun, Yes. if I was your boyfriends friend, I'd back stab him if I fancied you and it's called human instinct. The post you posted is called denial of morality for the purpose of justifying a moral purpose for natural selection.

So good luck, you decide.

Victor

What is a boyfy?

I realise it might sound like a stupid question, but I'm expert at the whole stupid thing.

Chucky the tree

Who needs enemies when you can have friends and girlfriends(or should that be girlfy's?) like ones mentioned here.

dame

Dragan wrote:

Advice eh?

1) Stop acting like a 15 year old with a crush. Realise that you don't actually love your boyfriend, because you cheated on him and want to do so again apparently. Grow up a bit and stop thinking about this other dude.

2) Be honest with your boyfriend. Realise that this will forever cause a rift between him and this John prick ( sorry, but scoring your mates girlfriend is bollix, i'd have his nuts if i found out )

3) Break up with your boyfriend because by the sounds of it your gonna end up ****ing him over.

Oh yeah, and in case anyone tries any of that "it's fine, your only human" stuff..... it's not. Your a pretty horrible girlfriend, leave the poor bastard alone.

Agree with Dragan.

And OP, stop using alcohol as an excuse.

kraggy

okornot wrote:

Love and back stab are 2 lonely combinations. Go to the car and get a rubber, did he have protection on him? And if not maybe he was being careful. I know take and get, but the one boyfriend you say you are dating, you're called a deceptive girl of 3 stones on the one bird. Meaning you are thinking "I must be honest, I love alpha males not my current boyfriend. So if an instant opportunity arose, I'd act innocent and clown my current boyfriend as not right for me." So if a gomb does the dirt, they get a label called slut or player(aka alpha male). So it means that, he's not interested and or maybe you are bad news to be with.

So try make a fresh start. And I'll never give bad advice, but you don't use boys for a confidence boost I hope? Because a lot of posts are alike, and you seem to be confident and believe that you are loved. I say don't go for 4th deal better, I'd believe that you are not in love with boyfriend of 2nd lad. Boyfriend no1 is not dumb, he'll go and make his mark and if you believe you'r boyfriend is easy to mislead, watch his face if you are good enough to tell him straighforward. So just tell him you don't like him. After cheating and him finding out you lead him on, he'll suffer what's known as Identity crisis, and the main point of that he thinks, "I can't be me for her to like me so I hate me because she prefers john doe instead".

1. You not dare mess your boyfriends confidence, tell him you don't like him NO. Tell him you're not right for me.
2. This post is not bull, it's called one of a realistic answer to you question. Not you're very popular so you'r lucky like what many posters may or may have said. This is another lads life you are posting about and very few people care including you, because you don't risk cheating on a lad without thinking about how he may feel. So break it off first.
3.I'm an alpha male yes. I mostly like cars and poker. I was bold and brazen with my relationships, and I met angel my lovely girlfriend. She never slept around, never backstabbed, and I checked her life story before I committed. So the moral is You're too nicey in your commets about you being in love, to realise that if you cheat once it's a reputation of you life.

I'm good looking and very sociable and approachable depending. If I was your boyfriend, I'd call you every name under the sun, Yes. if I was your boyfriends friend, I'd back stab him if I fancied you and it's called human instinct. The post you posted is called denial of morality for the purpose of justifying a moral purpose for natural selection.

So good luck, you decide.

Sorry but am i the only one who doesn't understand this? not being smart like but..

dame

Maybe English is not okornot's first language?

hullaballoo

Dragan wrote:

Advice eh?

1) Stop acting like a 15 year old with a crush. Realise that you don't actually love your boyfriend, because you cheated on him and want to do so again apparently. Grow up a bit and stop thinking about this other dude.

2) Be honest with your boyfriend. Realise that this will forever cause a rift between him and this John prick ( sorry, but scoring your mates girlfriend is bollix, i'd have his nuts if i found out )

3) Break up with your boyfriend because by the sounds of it your gonna end up ****ing him over.

Oh yeah, and in case anyone tries any of that "it's fine, your only human" stuff..... it's not. Your a pretty horrible girlfriend, leave the poor bastard alone.

That's nonsense.

tbh is dead right, to be honest.

This sort of thing happens to everyone. It's not the case that we all head back to their house and jump in their bed, but it's like that. I fancied my ex-girlfriend's best friend for the entirety of our four-year relationship and beyond.

There were times when we were alone together and things got a bit heavy and the chemistry was undeniable and all of that. It didn't matter a damn, I loved my girlfriend and so did the girl. Nothing was going to happen between us and that was most of the buzz. It's the feeling that you can't do it that makes it attractive to you. That's all.

Just take a lesson from it and move on. If you can't move on, shag John and see how you feel about your life then. Fcuk it, you can only find out one way.

Black Swan

Love triangles often end in tragedy for all.

Dragan

hullaballoo wrote:

That's nonsense.

tbh is dead right, to be honest.

This sort of thing happens to everyone. It's not the case that we all head back to their house and jump in their bed, but it's like that. I fancied my ex-girlfriend's best friend for the entirety of our four-year relationship and beyond.

Sorry mate, it might have happened to you, but it's never happened to me.

There is a massive difference between thinking someone is good looking and fancying them. If you fancied your girlfriends friend for 4 years then in all honesty you were a pretty **** partner, plain and simple.

I hate seeing people who are scared to take responsibility and just be honest. Did it ever occur to you to think why that girl is now you ex? I can already see the comeback of "Oh, I really loved her."

How the **** can people say they really loved someone while they fancied there friend? It makes a mockery of the whole thing. I have noticed a very prevalent attitude among people these days of "don't take relationships too seriously" and quite frankly it pisses me off. When I'm going out with a girl it's because I really like her, find her very attractive and interesting. I don't know about the rest of you but it seems that people are getting into relationships because they are bored of being single rather than any genuine attraction to the other person.

And then we wonder why divorce is on the up and up.

coffeeadddict

Jesus, some of ye posters are a pretty unforgiving bunch, I find it hard to believe that ye've never made a mistake in your lives. It was only a bit of kissing and cuddling. And I AM madly in love my boyfriend, I've never done anything like this in the two years we've been going out+I don't intend to do it again either. I guess the best thing to do is just steer clear of John+move on.
okornot - in answer to your question, I don't use boys as a confidence boost or to feel good about myself, I'm a very happy+confident person+boyfy is always complimenting me+telling me how much he loves me.

Kinetic^

hullaballoo wrote:

It didn't matter a damn, I loved my girlfriend and so did the girl.

Threesome tbh!!!!

Coffeeaddict, there's making a mistake like forgetting to turn the lights off when leaving the house and then there's what you're about to do, slightly different.

muckwarrior

Dragan wrote:

Sorry mate, it might have happened to you, but it's never happened to me.

There is a massive difference between thinking someone is good looking and fancying them. If you fancied your girlfriends friend for 4 years then in all honesty you were a pretty **** partner, plain and simple.......

Wow, life must be really simple for you in that black and white world of yours.

Saying that you don't love someone if you fancy someone else is bollox. Whether or not you act on those feelings is the test of your love.

tbh

Dragan wrote:

How the **** can people say they really loved someone while they fancied their friend?

100,000 years of evolution, Dragan mate.
Of course you can love someone and fancy someone else, the trick is not to act on it
Most of us know this as a matter of course, but some have to learn it the hard way. Don't judge the OP on what she's done, judge her on what she does next.

Kinetic^

I think people are mistaking their feelings by thinking the fancy someone when they just think someone is hot.

tbh

Kenny 5 wrote:

I think people are mistaking their feelings by thinking the fancy someone when they just think someone is hot.

well coffeeaddict knows the difference now, doesn't she? lesson learned.

Kinetic^

Here's hoping!!! :rolleyes:

Dragan

Honest to **** I just don't believe what I'm reading here. How many of you people have turned to your partners and said " You know I love you, but I really fancy your mate, but that’s okay, because I love you."

What kind of success was that met with?

And maybe my world is a bit black and white but at least I'm not lying to myself or others. I have made some hard decisions in my time about my relationships, so sorry if I just expect other people to have the balls to do the same.

If my girlfriend "kissed some guy because she fancied him" while going out with me then that would be the end of it. Simple as. It shocks me to see how many folks here would happily toy with another persons heart to satisfy there own curiosities.

Kinetic^

Dragan wrote:

Honest to **** I just don't believe what I'm reading here. How many of you people have turned to your partners and said " You know I love you, but I really fancy your mate, but that’s okay, because I love you."

Yah, me neither. I think people need to stop when they think they're about to do something and go home and give themselves some self love to work the lust out of their bodies.

tbh

Dragan wrote:

Honest to **** I just don't believe what I'm reading here. How many of you people have turned to your partners and said " You know I love you, but I really fancy your mate, but that’s okay, because I love you."

thats completely different, and I think you know that. Why would you say that to your partner?

it's not that the OP thinks she should be able to kiss every guy she fancies as long as she loves her partner.

It's that she got lust confused with something else, and learned the hard way that they are not the same. She seems pretty pissed off with herself, and as I say, if she never does it again, then I don't think doing it once makes her a horrible human, just human.

Kinetic^

There's kissing someone and then jumping into bed with someone (which she did btw).

scojones

Dragan wrote:

If my girlfriend "kissed some guy because she fancied him" while going out with me then that would be the end of it. Simple as. It shocks me to see how many folks here would happily toy with another persons heart to satisfy there own curiosities.

My guess is this has happened before, right? You're expressing alot of anger here and there's no need for it IMO. Don't tar everyone with the same brush, although in saying that I do agree with most of what you are saying.

If my gf told me she "kissed and cuddled" with my best mate, I'd dump her and give him a slap. Think about it, the OP said that her bf's best friend stopped it. If he was any less of a man she would have been allowed to do what she wanted to do, which was shag him.

OP, you need to figure out what you want.

Dragan

scojones wrote:

My guess is this has happened before, right? You're expressing alot of anger here and there's no need for it IMO. Don't tar everyone with the same brush, although in saying that I do agree with most of what you are saying.

Nope, i have never been cheated on, or even given reason to believe that i might have been.

I just feel strongly about staying loyal to your partner, and if you cannot do that then being grown up enough to admit to them that you were not able to do so and letting them make the choice.

tbh wrote:

thats completely different, and I think you know that. Why would you say that to your partner?

How is it different? It what you are thinking, so why could you not say it to your partner? Many people here have said it fine to fancy you partners friends or whatever, but apparently it's not if you can't admit it to them.

Boston

Dragon, you can't control feelings or chemistry, only actions. Being attracted to someone doesn't make you dis-loyal.

_blank_

coffeeadddict wrote:

Jesus, some of ye posters are a pretty unforgiving bunch,

Yeah, well you cheated on your boyfriend. What are you expecting, tea and scones and a pat on the back?

coffeeadddict wrote:

It was only a bit of kissing and cuddling.

With your boyfriend's mate.

coffeeadddict wrote:

And I AM madly in love my boyfriend, I've never done anything like this in the two years we've been going out+I don't intend to do it again either.

No you aren't.

Imagine you found out your boyfriend was in bed with a friend of yours, kissing and cuddling. Would it be ok for him to say 'Sure I love you and I won't do it again, I swear.'?

Would you accept that?

coffeeadddict wrote:

I guess the best thing to do is just steer clear of John+move on.

This is the most sensible part of your post tbh.

coffeeadddict wrote:

boyfy is always complimenting me+telling me how much he loves me.

I'd say that would change if he knew what you had done behind his back. I mean the first time you are out with just his mate and you end up in bed together? You actually think it is acceptable to just shrug it off by saying 'I love him anyway, and I won't do it again'.

If you were my girlfriend you'd be dumped, and no doubt about it.

Talliesin

Kenny 5 wrote:

I think people are mistaking their feelings by thinking the fancy someone when they just think someone is hot.

Eh, what?

That's pretty much what fancy does mean.

I fancy lots of people. I have a desire to engage in sexual acts with them. In some sort of hermetically sealed universe containing only them and me I would make a move.

Living in the real world with lots of people, and with emotions, relationships, commitments, (and in many cases the fact that maybe after I learnt more about what they are like as people they'd quite likely wreck my head) I won't.

I won't necessarily do so even if I'm single, I know they are single, and I reckon the feelings are reciprocated since there's more going on in me that any particular desire or impulse.

The OPs problem isn't that she fancies someone, it's that she's having problems with the differences between the hermetically-sealed-universe and the real world.

Dragan

Boston wrote:

Dragon, you can't control feelings or chemistry, only actions. Being attracted to someone doesn't make you dis-loyal.

I'm not saying it does, I'm just saying that people seem to be doing themselves and there partners a diservice by dismissing these apparent feelings for other people. They must have their root in something, but that’s just my opinion.

Kinetic^

Clearly we've got different understandings of the word "fancy".

muckwarrior

Dragan wrote:

Many people here have said it fine to fancy you partners friends or whatever, but apparently it's not if you can't admit it to them.

It's normal to fancy other people. Perhaps you've been lucky enough never to fancy someone else while you had a girlfriend, but it happens, and there's not much you can do about it. But what you can do is choose not to act on it. I'm fully in agreement that if you act on your lust whilst going out with someone then that's totally wrong.

LegacyUser

I'm totally with Dragan on this one...and guess what, I have not been cheated on either ever in my life...

Dragan

muckwarrior wrote:

It's normal to fancy other people. Perhaps you've been lucky enough never to fancy someone else while you had a girlfriend, but it happens, and there's not much you can do about it. But what you can do is choose not to act on it. I'm fully in agreement that if you act on your lust whilst going out with someone then that's totally wrong.

To be honest I'm starting to think I'm a bit odd? When I'm going out with someone that little switch between someone being physically appealing and me wanting to do anything about it seems to just get completely swtiched off.

I have had two long term relationships and am currently at the beginning of a third and can honestly say when I am going out with someone I just don't really see other girls in that same way anymore. None of them will ever make it past the "friends" bracket to be honest. Sure, they might have a physicallity or a personality that when I'm single I would find hugely attractive, but it just never seems to have that affect when I'm going out with someone.

But anyway, back on topic! OP, your a bold girl!!

Kinetic^

Stop the bickering...........somebody think of the childers!!! :eek:

Beruthiel

Kenny 5 wrote:

Stop the bickering...........somebody think of the childers!!! :eek:

Leave the moderating to the mods kenny.

Now, you lot, get back to discussing the actual topic of this thread please.

coffeeadddict

I agree with muckwarrior, just because you're going out with someone doesn't mean that you're never going to fancy anyone else ever. There's always gonna be attractive people around+ it's not like you can just switch off your feelings.
seansouth - no wasn't expecting tea and scones!! To be honest, I would be willing to forgive my bf if he did something similar if I knew it was a once-off+he was genuinely sorry about it rather than throw away a great relationship for a stupid mistake. We have very high sex drives and horniness+alcohol+physical attraction is always a dangerous mix!

Beruthiel

coffeeadddict wrote:

We have very high sex drives and horniness+alcohol+physical attraction is always a dangerous mix!

Sorry, I don't find that any kind of acceptable excuse.
We can all fancy or find others attractive, the difference is we can also practice self control. Trying to put it down to the above is a cop out imo.

Dragan

coffeeadddict wrote:

I agree with muckwarrior, just because you're going out with someone doesn't mean that you're never going to fancy anyone else ever. There's always gonna be attractive people around+ it's not like you can just switch off your feelings.
seansouth - no wasn't expecting tea and scones!! To be honest, I would be willing to forgive my bf if he did something similar if I knew it was a once-off+he was genuinely sorry about it rather than throw away a great relationship for a stupid mistake. We have very high sex drives and horniness+alcohol+physical attraction is always a dangerous mix!

Well even if you will end up "fancying" someone then you should be adult enough to be able to control how you act around them.

I also love the way that all cheaters would be willing to forgive there partners in a hypothetical vice versa situation!!! Never ceases to amaze me.

Finally all i see if someone making excuses and looking for people to agree with them. It's a joke to be honest. Your not looking for advice, your looking for people to tell you it's all okay.

Kinetic^

Beruthiel wrote:

Leave the moderating to the mods kenny.

Now, you lot, get back to discussing the actual topic of this thread please.

I saved the childers.....you did nowt, stop stealing my thunder lady!!!


ROFLs at possibly the lamest excuse ever. "Sorry hun, I'd a few beers and you do know how moist I get with a few beers on me" :rolleyes:

Talliesin

coffeeadddict wrote:

We have very high sex drives and horniness+alcohol+physical attraction is always a dangerous mix!

Not always.

Those who do find themselves getting drunk to the point where they do things they would otherwise feel they shouldn't still have themselves to blame for getting that drunk.

If you can't handle alcohol, don't drink it.

coffeeadddict

Well Dragan, all I see is very little constructive advice on how to deal with these feelings + a lot of self-righteous posting.

Have none of these people done something stupid when they've been drunk?!!

I know that's not an excuse, I'm just saying it like it is.

Kinetic^

As Tallie said, don't drink if you can't handle it.

Dragan

coffeeadddict wrote:

Well Dragan, all I see is very little constructive advice on how to deal with these feelings + a lot of self-righteous posting.

Have none of these people done something stupid when they've been drunk?!!

Oh I've done plenty of silly stuff when I'm drunk. However I have never done anything that could seriously hurt another human being and then used the fact that I was drunk to justify it.

What kind of advice do you want? You getting peoples opinions and advice which is obviously not what you want to hear. You don't appear to feel even remotely bad about the incident, from what I can see you have no intention of telling your boyfriend and from what I can see you happy enough to convince yourself everything is perfectly fine.

I suggest you just go back, look your boyfriend in the eyes and either tell him the truth of lie to him for the rest of your relationship.

Your choice.

Beruthiel

coffeeadddict wrote:

Well Dragan, all I see is very little constructive advice on how to deal with these feelings.

More than one person suggested self control. That is the constructive advice.

coffeeadddict

coffeeadddict wrote:

Well Dragan, all I see is very little constructive advice on how to deal with these feelings + a lot of self-righteous posting.

Have none of these people done something stupid when they've been drunk?!!

I know that's not an excuse, I'm just saying it like it is.

Not really, no.
And if you can't handle the drink, don't drink. Simple as that.

If I was in your position, I'd tell my bf. It's only fair to him to know.