I want to meet someone, settle down, and have a family...

LegacyUser

Hi all... I'm a frequent Boards poster but I'm going unreg for this. I've been thinking about posting this on Boards for a while now, so here goes.

My problem is probably the oldest one in the world... I just want to meet someone, fall in love, settle down, have a family, and grow old together happily.

I think I'm a good "catch"!!! I'm a late 30's guy... fairly good looking, good personality and good laugh to be with... honest and relaible... own home in Kildare... very well educated and really good job that I love... not a huge amount of friends but some good close ones. I don't have any problems attracting females... girls seem to really fancy me. Over the past few years I've been in a good few relationships which have all fallen apart for a variety of reasons (some my fault, some not). I haven't scared people away by "coming on too strongly" with all this having kids and settling down stuff... thats not the problem... I think its that I just haven't met the right person yet.

My standards for a partner are not impossibly high... I would be happy with someone reasonably good looking, honest and good personality. I just cant seem to find this. I have tried speeddating and anotherfriend.com and met a few people with varying success. I just feel like I'm going round and round in circles and getting nowhere.

I have to admit I'm becoming more and more disillusioned. I'm beginning to feel like my dream is not going to happen.

I know there females out there who are looking for the same thing as me... I just cant seem to find them. Can anyone suggest where I might try to meet someone of like mind?

I was just wondering if anyone had any comment on my situation.

Crea

There's alot of people out there looking for the same thing but it can't be your sole criteria for getting into a relationship, it's way too much pressure. Keep meeting the girls and going on dates. Try waiting until you feel a connection with the person before dating them or sleeping with them anyway. It'll make it easier to sort out your feelings. The girls in the tiny clothes in the nightclubs who will sleep with you on the first date aren't likely the type who want to settle down so avoid them.
Your standards are crap by the way. You should be looking for someone who you think is fabulous and that you are crazy about. Sharing your life with someone is difficult enough.

loismustdie

go to one of those speed dating things but i you shouldnt settle for anything less than perfect

Red Hand

You need to relax and actually want to settle down with a person you enjoy being with rather than just a "someone". You need to meet that person first.

Take things easy and the right person will come along eventually. You say that you have no trouble in attracting women, so eventually you'll find someone you love and who loves you.

Elessar

Your problem is as old as the hills. There are millions out there like you. Keep up what you are doing that is getting you all these girlfriends, but put the "marriage + kids" thing at the back of your mind. Women will know and it might turn them off. Just let things flow, and never lower your standards, or what you consider to be attractive just out of desperation.

Realise though (as I'm sure you already know) that life is often not fair and we don't always get what we want. This applies to all aspects of life. Try not to despair though, if you keep doing things the way you are doing now, chances are you will eventually come across someone you really really like. Have you considered travelling for a few months? I hear it can work well as a method to meet new and different people.

Elessar

woops double post

helpme

lostme... wrote:

I have to admit I'm becoming more and more disillusioned. I'm beginning to feel like my dream is not going to happen.

I thought the exact same thing after i split up with my g/f. but i posted here and everyone on this board had helped me with there comments(thanks for that)



stop looking and it will happen. trust me. i stopped looking for a girlfriend and as soon as i did. i met this amazing girl

Cateym

helpme wrote:

I thought the exact same thing after i split up with my g/f. but i posted here and everyone on this board had helped me with there comments(thanks for that)

stop looking and it will happen. trust me. i stopped looking for a girlfriend and as soon as i did. i met this amazing girl

I second that! The moment you stop looking and concentrating on enjoying your life she will turn up!

Snail30

I know exactly how u feel lostme...I am a 'girl' in my early 30's and am in exactly the same position...i spent a lot of my 20's in a long term relationship only for nothing to come of it and now i despair of ever meeting someone...the other problem for me is the biological clock...i know what people are going to say but it is true..it is ticking - at least u don't have that to worry about.
However having said all that people can smell desperation a mile off and they do say u will meet someone when u least expect it so here's hoping that will be true for us! Good luck and keep smiling (everyone loves a smiley face!)

daiixi

Snail30, I'd like you to meet lostme...

lostme..., this is Snail30.

...

Well are ya going to PM or what?!

gandalf

LOL and so Daiixi becomes the boards matchmaker !!!

daiixi

watchit or I'll start charging


and it's not a capital "d" already!

Black Swan

lostme... wrote:

I know there females out there who are looking for the same thing as me... I just cant seem to find them. Can anyone suggest where I might try to meet someone of like mind?

"Of like mind" is your key me thinks. What do you really enjoy doing? Join a group that does this that has a good mix of females and males, and become an enthusiastic member. Enthusiasm draws people, some of them women you just might like.