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The EX

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,365 ✭✭✭hunnymonster


    Ok, lets go right back to the beginning
    ellsbells wrote:
    Here's the PROBLEM: basically i told him he's not allowed be mates with her or hang out. .............Thing is now i'm worried that people (ie their mates) seem kind of resentful of me cause they don't get to have either of them round the same time or something..................don't want to be near her or have my boyfriend near her which is fair enough. But how do I stop it being such an issue for everyone?

    Quite a few people have said that they do not think your ultimatum is "fair enough" and most of those who said they would not feel comfortable with their SO's hanging out with their ex's have said you cannot force people to do what you want.

    The question now has to change. You asked our opinions, we gave them. Are you going to take our points of view on board or are you going to continue to see yourself as the hard-done-by-anti-villan of the situation? If it's the latter then this thread is just going to go around in circles.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Quite a few people have said that they do not think your ultimatum is "fair enough" and most of those who said they would not feel comfortable with their SO's hanging out with their ex's have said you cannot force people to do what you want.

    I don't think the issue is that she is his ex, but that he slept with his ex while in a relationship with the op. My husband is friends with a few of his ex's and while I'll admit that early on in our relationship I was very uncomfortable with those friendships I realised that that was my issue and something I would have to get over.

    However if he slept with any of them while in a relationship with me and I decided to try and make a go of our marriage one condition of that would be that all contact that the person he cheated on me with would end. I wouldn't care if it was his best friend since the age of two.

    I'm not exactly comparing the OP's relationship to a marriage, it all sounds a bit messed up. And possibly she would be much better off just moving on. The whole "she wins" attitude is pretty silly. If she wants to work on her relationship she needs to forget about any feelings she has about the other girl.


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