Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
If we do not hit our goal we will be forced to close the site.

Current status: https://keepboardsalive.com/

Annual subs are best for most impact. If you are still undecided on going Ad Free - you can also donate using the Paypal Donate option. All contribution helps. Thank you.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.

My relationship has come to the crunch, what do I do?

2»

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 500 ✭✭✭warrenaldo


    reading this thread i feel for your situation - i am with my partner 1year and a half and we share all money. all bills etc etc. we have done for the last 6 or so months. we both see it as our money.

    However a lot of people are not that comfortable with it and just prefer to have their own. each to there own and all that.

    But he needs to make a cmmiment. you seem to be in the right.
    Push him for some answers because you deserve him.

    If you dont like them then make the call - it will be tough. but in 5 years time you might be in the same situation with him. or you could be wherever you want in the relationship you want.

    tough call.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    'Some of you are very cynical altogether! I suppose I can understand having to protect yourself in a relationship a wee bit, but I want one where there is mutual trust and both people do everything in their power to ensure it's a good healthy trustful relationship, that's heading where they BOTH want it to.

    I know my statement about being on my own is silly, some days I think about it and the freedom I'd have not to have to answer to my partner and it feels great but because I love him it feel sad also, I'm really emotionally and physically attached to him and couldn't contemplate a life with anyone else at the moment and he says the same. That's why I don't want to give up on us yet but if he doesn't want the same things in life as I do, and he doesn't want to commit to me then that's the road I'm on whether I like it or not and that is scary but I suppose I have to be brave & throw my life in the hands of the fates and hope everything works out the way it should.

    He said to me last night, without me having to remind him, that we'd sit down and talk next week. He's working a lot this week and then he's going away for a match at the weekend so it's not really fair to get into big discussions while all that's going on. I appreciated the fact that he let me know he wasn't forgetting that I wanted to sort things out. So now I have to wait til then which will give me a bit of headspace too I suppose. I really hope we can work it all out, since I've brought it up with him, he's been extra attentive to me and sent me little "I Love You" texts where he hadn't been doing that in a while, maybe I've given him something to think about. I really hope so...

    I'll let you know how it goes anyway, cheers for your comments everyone!'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,204 ✭✭✭bug


    'Some of you are very cynical altogether! I suppose I can understand having to protect yourself in a relationship a wee bit, but I want one where there is mutual trust and both people do everything in their power to ensure it's a good healthy trustful relationship, that's heading where they BOTH want it to.
    Look at what you've said there, the key word is "both" and you have outlined what you want. You might be left wanting.
    No one is being cynical in fact, I personally commend you for putting so much effort into the person that you love, but still, you have to be realistic. A little bit of self protection on your own end might not go a miss.
    He said to me last night, without me having to remind him, that we'd sit down and talk next week. '
    I don't think that you should have to remind anyone of these things. Its quite obvious to me that this is a pressing issue on your relationship continuing and you haven't sat me down and had a good chat with me.
    Just make sure that the chat happens next week and don't let it go on and on, and don't let delaying tactics get in the way.

    best of everything.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    bug wrote:
    I don't think that you should have to remind anyone of these things. Its quite obvious to me that this is a pressing issue on your relationship continuing and you haven't sat me down and had a good chat with me.
    Just make sure that the chat happens next week and don't let it go on and on, and don't let delaying tactics get in the way.

    best of everything.

    i am going to play a bit of a devils advocate here as in an earlier post i mentioned not letting him essentially forgetting about it.

    So, by mentioning it he has indicated that he has not forgotten.


Advertisement