My so called life!

Kerryman123

Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start!

I'm 28 years of age and recently my girlfriend and I have split up after 7 years.

We owned a house together and have made a nice bit of cash from the sale plus thanks to Charlie McCreavey my SSIA had just matured so I'm not in a bad position financially.

I work in a job that I like, with friendly staff and for a company that is fair and flexible. So the job situation is also very positive. This wasn't the case in my previous job as I worked alot of overtime and there was a lot of pressure and stress. Because of this negative experience I value my current job even more

However here in lies my dilemma. Should I stay put or should I go travelling?

If I stay I definitely plan on living the good life - like weekends away, attending as many social occasions that I can, playing more sports etc... Eventually I will re-enter the housing market as I know its a wise move (long term) and it won't effect my social life.

If I travel, I get to live the good life plus I get to meet new people and see new places. But I definitely want to come home after a few months or a year to settle in Ireland.

What makes the choice difficult is that in my opinion I don't think I would get as good a job as I currently have, I would probably have to take a 5K pay cut I wreckon and won't get it as easy as I have it now from a work load point of view

Looking back I would love to have done the whole travel/australia thing but right now I am a little settled and too used of my comforts to give them all up for an authentic life experience. Plus I probably don't have anyone to go with!

So, back to my question. Should I stay put or should I go travelling?

All comments are welcomed and appreciated!

HelterSkelter

Go travelling. You're going to be in this country until you die an old man (hopefully) and you will always ask yourself why the f*uck did I not do it.

humanji

Can you not just ask your job for some time off? Maybe even a month to go travelling somewhere?

kaizersoze123

HelterSkelter wrote:

Go travelling. You're going to be in this country until you die an old man (hopefully) and you will always ask yourself why the f*uck did I not do it.

good advice

dr.bollocko

On yer death bed u arent gonna think "Thank god I didnt quit that job, with all that security, and that extra 5k a year, to go travelling or see the world while was young."

Kerryman123

I agree with all those comments about heading off, but I am peoples person and I don't really have anyone to go with. Now I know I will meet new people etc...but its not the same. I think it would be better craic to head off with a few friends rather than going solo.

Also, I could ask for some time off but I don't really want to open that discussion right now.

humanji

Well there's no time like the present

But there's nothing wrong with heading off on your own. I'm planning on heading off to south america and to the middle east on my own because nobody else wants to go. Just go and enjoy yourself. There's no point worrying about the future because it'll pass you before you know it. Seize the day, as they say! And if you still don't want to go, give me your money, so I can afford to go.

Snail30

I agree with all the other posters - go travelling! There is a whole big world out there and u never know when u come back u might be able to return to the company u are with now if u leave on good terms. Having said that when u broaden your horizons u may not have any interest in going back there!

I was in a similiar situation 2 years ago when I broke up with my b'friend of 6 years (we didn't buy a house though) and I should have gone travelling but no-one wanted to go and here I am 2 years later and still nobody wants to go and I still have itchy feet so I think I am gonna go it alone! Hey maybe we should all meet up and go together!

Good luck with whatever decision u make but they way i see it is go travelling now or go when u retire.

Call Me Jimmy

Snail30 wrote:

so I think I am gonna go it alone!

I'm curious, what would that be like? would that not be a bit lonely? and how would ye meet people, just go the local bars and start talkin to strangers?

Snail30

I think so! I hope so! The only thing that is holding me back is the fact I am a girl and the safety issue. I have spoken to lots of people over the past few years who went alone and they all said it was the best thing they ever did. Some of those people would have been quite shy (like me) and it's made me think if they can do it so can I!

They said u meet people everywhere - in bars, hostel dorms on buses etc. etc. so I suppose you just have to be open to it. Often people just end up travelling with people they met along the way!

I am still wary though and I know my family and friends will worry about me but if I don't go alone then what can I do? I would prefer to go with someone but then maybe it will be a great experience on my own meeting new people - eeek!!

ChRoMe

Edited to add: Snail30 this post is directed at you also if you have any questions please feel free to PM me.

I left Ireland two and a half years ago. Travelled all around Australia and lived and worked in Melbourne and Sydney. Im now living in Valencia.

To be honest I feel really sorry for people who have not lived in a different country for at least a year. You realise as a Irish person just how small Ireland is and the negatives that go along with its size (not saying there isint benefits!)

Your in the perfect situation single and have a wad of cash. Go meet people from all over the world learn about other peoples customs and beliefs and share your own its a very exciting experience when everything around you is new.

One more important thing to add. I travelled to Australia and Spain on my own. Its the best way to do it. You only have to account for yourself and it truely opens you up to adventures if you dont have to consider what someone else wants to do.

I had one experience when I arrived into a hostel room in Sydney to 3 american students having a smoke out the window. Ended up having a great laugh with them and during the conversation it comes up that they are leaving the next day to drive their jeep around the rainforest's of new south wales for about 3 weeks and would I like to join them. Spur of the moment stuff like that isint usually possible in a group. I had much different plans but said **** it and it was a excellent decision

Sounds corny and all but travelling the world gives a great sense of satisfaction that your actually doing something and not just going through the motions of monday friday. You only get one chance.

If you do go to Australia dont fall into the trap that 90% of the irish people do of getting a apartment in the 27th county (Bondi) and spending a year drinking in the two irish pubs. Its a big country with a lot of fun stuff to do.

tbh

Snail30 wrote:

Some of those people would have been quite shy (like me) and it's made me think if they can do it so can I!

you won't be shy when you come home - take it from me - and people will be looking at you saying "if she can do it..".

Kerryman, it's a tough one, i was in a very similar position. A friend and I came into money at the same time. I went travelling on my own, he didn't. I came home five years ago, and now both my friend and I are in similar jobs, on similar money and with similar circumstances (both own a house etc etc). The only difference is, I went travelling, and he didn't. He often asks me about it now, and he's trying to a figure out a way to get some time off so he can go.

My advice would be, give yourself a budget and invest the rest where you can't get at while you are traveling - even if it's only for three months. Then you can explain to HR where you are at - if they want to keep you, they'll give you the time off, and if not, there are plenty more jobs and you'll soon get settled. And then go have the time of your life*


*please note results may vary

Raskolnikov

The whole travelling thing isn't for everyone you know . . . A friend of mine is just after getting back form Australia; after three months. Hated her dead-end job, the excessive drinking culture amoungst the youth, homesickness, etc. Your best bet would be to try and earmark a month or so from HR and testing the water. That way, you get some persepective and you get to keep your job!

Dudess

Mate of mine went to Oz alone for a year. Best thing he ever did and it gave him a whole new lease of life. Another mate went to Oz with her friend. The friend stayed in Sidney, but my mate headed off around Australia on her own. Had an amazing time. Returned to Sidney to her friend and the two of them went to Asia. She said that was great too, but the stint she did on her own was probably better for making friends and putting herself out there.
I know a girl who's just back from travelling around a number of South American countries alone. Once again, had an amazing time.

General consensus: going on your own - not a problem at all.

limklad

Dudess wrote:

General consensus: going on your own - not a problem at all.

It opens more doors too. You are more likely to start talking to others without other interfering or keeping to your own group.
I stop going on holiday with friends and do the traveling on my own during long holidays. I got fed up with drinking all day long, and only going where a select few want to go. I prefer a few drinks in the evening and not during the day or binge drink either.

People here said I was mad to go alone to foreign countries. I think is better as you will get to know some locals and see more and enjoy it. The one thing I found that speaking with our Irish accents will open more doors than the English or Americans.

Hey I even went to Israel and traveled around it on my own during the time Ireland played there. I travel on their public transport and I came back to Tel Aviv in the evening. I was there for a week and traveled around to suss out the people.
I only wore the Irish Jersey in the evening before the Match, and by god the security scrutiny that the people go through was non-existence for us Irish. (Normally everybody is search going into public places).
The Israelis where delight we were there and it was big news on their TV all week and best of all the Palestinian were chanting "Beat the Israelis". It was great fun and an experience. There only problems, that I had there were the Americans soldier force us across the street from their embassy. I had one perspective when I got there and left with another. (Similar attitudes as the North both good and bad, more good though).
I was in one pub by the sea and we were roasting in the evening (locals were freezing), there was a cool breeze coming in from the sea and everyone (Irish) was enjoying it. I made a comment to the waitress thank god for this space outside, as there was not many pubs with an outside space. The waitress told us that the place got bombed a month before that and no one got hurt” and then with her sarcasm she said “a ice-cream cart got damage too”. We laugh and said they got one thing right and created an open cool space for us, but felt sorry about the ice-cream cart as we badly need some cooling :eek: (the beer was warming too fast :eek:)

It must be that in our negative country, that when we leave, it like we are escaping from prison and delight to be anywhere and the locals join in our celebration.

In all of the countries, that I been to, once the locals knew you were Irish, there was no problems and doors automatically opened. I have never been to Australia or NZ though, but they are on my long list of visits.

limklad

Call Me Jimmy wrote:

I'm curious, what would that be like? would that not be a bit lonely?

I though the same thing too. But once I got out there. One Word says it all "Brilliant!!"
Lonely :rolleyes: There are billions of people on this planet, It easy to get responds once you talk.

Call Me Jimmy wrote:

and how would ye meet people just go the local bars and start talkin to strangers?

Bars are not the only place to start a conversation but yeap. I had several conversations in various places, in hostels/hotels, side of roads/airports/planes, a shop in the middle of nowhere in the US, canoeing, doing the laundry, you name it. While I was doing my Laundry in Tennessee, I found out where Jack Daniels was made and reorganize the group to tour the place on a Sunday through the Factory. but I could not buy any, shop closed and Prohibition still exist there :eek: . I could keep going on and on and on and on and on…………… And this from a Guy who is considered quite here in Ireland. Go for your adventure..

Glowing

Go travelling, definately!

Lots of people I've spoken to say they've been travelling which consists of 2 weeks in Thailand on the way to Sydney, where they will drink and work for a year. Thats NOT travelling.

Go to Borneo, go to China, see South America, get off the beaten track and have the guts to go it alone! You'll meet so many amazing people and see things you couldn't dream of.

You'll only regret the things you have't done, so why not go now while you have the finances and are not tied to a property.

Oh, would there be any chance of a year long leave of absence from work perhaps?

LegacyUser

'I just want to say...

Travelling by yourself is far more rewarding than travelling with a mate, or mates, or a girlfriend.

I have been all europe three times. When I travelled with my mate and girlfriend it was so normal and I didnt make any new friends. When I travelled by myself I made so many great friends and lived a whole lot more.

It seems like a risk going by yourself, but just throw yourself into the experience. You are not old, but, if you are having this travel bug now I would say go for it and dont worry about anyone else.

When you travel alone, you dont have to meet people in bars like someone else has said. You meet single travellers at hostels, hotels, on trains or at airports who are all on the same buzz as you. People will find it easier to approach you if you arent cuddled up to a mate all the time. You will make 10 X times the amount of friends when you travel alone.

Go for it mate. life is too short. And if I was in your shoes I would go alone. Every decision you make is you own, you are in control, it's your adventure.

Peace my friend'

Hehe, there's such a snob factor in what constitutes 'travelling'.
Listen, you don't have to canoe solo down the Amazon, fight off giant spiders in Burma or battle a bout of dysentery in India for some kind of badge.

If you want to head off go where YOU want to go for as long as YOU want to go for.
I've travelled alone and yes, it's great for meeting people. But I accept that just because I was fine, it's not for everyone.
I spent a year in Oz when I was only 20, in the pre mobile phone days, and I arrived with 1,200 pounds in my sweaty palms.
Travellers today (you included) have a lot more money to play with, but don't feel you have to squash 20 countries into 12 months just because ...

If you want to spend six months exploring Italy, surfing in the Caribbean, driving across America whatever, do it.
And if you change your mind, fret not... I'm now 'tied to a property' and it hasn't stopped me from taking some truly amazing holidays!

Glowing

You're absolutely right FavouriteSlave, but the point I was trying to make is that there are a lot more places in the world than Australia. I met so so many people who just went there because it was the done thing, and just followed the crowd instead of thinking about what they wanted to get out of the experience.
I went to Australia too, and its a great place, but I just found that my most memorable experiences came from places that were completely different from home!

is_that_so

“There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.”

Julius Caesar

So you can take that tide or watch it. The hardest part is getting over the fear of going. If the idea is in your mind then it is probably something you want to do. If you think of it as swapping you life here for the same life somewhere else then you should just stay put. Open you mind to the possibilities. It is a great big adventure and worth doing. Go with it and good luck.

woodaaa

ChRoMe wrote:

If you do go to Australia dont fall into the trap that 90% of the irish people do of getting a apartment in the 27th county (Bondi) and spending a year drinking in the two irish pubs. Its a big country with a lot of fun stuff to do.

Dont you mean 33rd county!!!;)

op you should defo head off. but broaden your options there is so much more out there than australia. Personally i dont consider people like chrome describes above as going traveling. Being generous i would describe it as a workin holiday akin to a J1

ChRoMe

woodaaa wrote:

Dont you mean 33rd county!!!;)

op you should defo head off. but broaden your options there is so much more out there than australia. Personally i dont consider people like chrome describes above as going traveling. Being generous i would describe it as a workin holiday akin to a J1

That depends on what you choose to do with the year. Driving through the outback and camping in the rainforests I'd consider proper travelling but there is times when you have to stop and work, well I did im not loaded!

Australians themselves are very similar to Irish/English and the cities do have a american type feel to them but to be honest the mix of nationalties is pretty spectacular. I live in spain now and there is a bigger culture shock to me here than Australia .

Im interested to know what your definition of travelling would be?

astraboy

Here's my 2 cents.

I reckon you go travelling. Now you did'nt say what industry you worked in but if you go travelling for a year most employers look at a stint away as a good thing, showing you are a person open to new experiences and have an ability to adapt to situations quickly etc. Who knows, you may even get some good professional experience when you are away! I'm still in college but have gone away the last two summers. I never, ever regretted it. When I came home all my friends that stayed around for the summer wanted to hear my experiences, but the place I left was pretty much the same. A year sounds like a long time, but it will fly. If you have some friends looking to go travelling, then it will be all the more fun with a few good friends.

My advice is definately go for it, at 27/28 you probably have built up some experience in your professional field so I would not worry about the job front when you return. It would be different if you just finished college, your degree without experience may be "cold" by the time you returned but it sounds like you don't have this worry. Believe me, the things you will see, the people you meet and the fun you will have will not make you regret it!

nesf

Travelling isn't a universal panacea. If you are happy with your job and where you are, why go? If you have always wanted to travel, then this is your chance.

I don't understand how people see this as a simple "travel!" thing. Travelling on your own is definitely not something for everyone.

Firetrap

How about hanging onto your job and setting yourself a target of going to a certain country (or countries) every year. I've a friend who takes off each year for 2 or 3 weeks holidays to far flung destinations in Asia/South America. Who says you have to see all the world in one go?

nesf

allie_e17 wrote:

Who says you have to see all the world in one go?

People in their early to mid twenties with itchy feet generally.

Kerryman123

Firstly a big thank you to all who have replied, it is appreciated.

Having spoken to some of my good friends (some who have gone travelling) I think I will sit tight for a few months before making my decision - I am aware that this may sound like I am procrastinating, but I will make a decision once I clear my head. In the mean time I will enjoy myself and take the odd break along the way.

So to answer some of the questions I have been asked:

Q1) Whats my definition of travelling?

I honestly don't have one. But I think it would involve travelling from place to place without having to work (unless I decide that is what I want to do at the time) i.e. it is not flying to a solely Irish area and then spending every night on sauce before flying home via thailand/vietnam. Although I think I would occasionally visit these area to have some honest to god 'craic'

I think if I was to spend a good bit of time in any one particular area or take up work then I think my preference would be to stay in an English speaking country as I think I would go insane if I couldn't converse with people

Q2) What industry do I work in?

I work in the I.T. industry which is a fairly global trade. I well qualified and have several years experience, so I would like to think that I would be fairly employable.

Miss Fluff

How about taking a sabbatical? I know lots of companies who are open to employees doing this. Would mean you could go off and see some fo the world and not have the worry of having to find work when you return (that's if you want to return). I say go for it. You've no ties.

Takeshi_Kovacs

ChRoMe wrote:

I had one experience when I arrived into a hostel room in Sydney to 3 american students having a smoke out the window. Ended up having a great laugh with them and during the conversation it comes up that they are leaving the next day to drive their jeep around the rainforest's of new south wales for about 3 weeks and would I like to join them. Spur of the moment stuff like that isint usually possible in a group. I had much different plans but said **** it and it was a excellent decision

In the same position as the op as well, and have very itchy feet for travelling, which will most likely be, alone, and the above is one reason why i think travelling alone would be great. You can do what you want, and if ye meet a couple of guys who are going off on an adventure for a couple of weeks, and are invited along, you don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks or if they do or don't want to go. Why be like the majority and travel with people you know only to get pissed every day and do the same things.

LegacyUser

'dont go off travelling, ur only going to run away from the fact that u feel alone because u and ur mrs broke up and u feel like there is something missing in ur life now. 7 years is a long time. instead, ask ur job if u can take an extended holiday to get ur thoughts together because u WILL regret that paycut and will end up resenting it and ur ex for making u make a stupid choice'

Bernard Hopkins

travelling the best thing i ever did,........ on me own and had truly mazing experiances,discovered so many positive things about myself.

lived for 3 months in the bush around oz,... met the most fantastic charachters the world has to offer, and dreaded coming home.

go for it !!

GAA widow

go travelling if that is what you would love to do- after a 7 year relationship it's important to look after yourself and what you'd like to do.
if you're iffy about going away for the whole year take 6 weeks off work and head away and enjoy yourself.......TBH i think you couldn't pick a better time - single, financially stable - i'd go for it!